It used to be worse.

[Julie York]

Unfortunately I am old enough to remember life before the internet. It was a dark time, mostly in black and white and starving children (wearing victorian costumes for some reason) begging on the streets near the steam railway line as plague victims were carried away. But anyway.....I recalled recently with some embarrassment that this 'thing' was part of my life then and had no expression, or information to work with. There was no Amazon to buy some undies from. No information of any kind to give a name to this 'sickness' unless you knew a drag queen. I don't think (not sure) there was the wealth of charity shops selling women's clothing, but even if there was I was not crazy enough or brave enough to buy any women's clothing. And this was the same for anyone with a fetish for dressing or a transgender inclination or whatever inbetween. How easy life would have been if I had a sister's wardrobe to pillage. Or a place to buy secret stuff without anyone knowing. But no...nothing. And then the internet came along.
Not only am I not 'sick' (debatable) but there are others out there!! There are people selling clothes out there. There are even like this chat thing where people chat and stuff and that lol about dressing up and that irl and that innit.
And yet I still haven't bought a wedding dress or a sexy nurse uniform. Shame on me! Everything is available. There are even people who know what you are feeling and talking about.
Maybe not in my case but you get my drift.
It used to be worse.
Dammit I want a wedding dress now!

[Raychel]

I hear you completely Julie.

back in the day before the internet, You had to buy things from catalogs.
The Sears catalog was certainly my go to. Along with Victoria Secrets.
Victoria's Secret certainly does not sell anything that will fit me or anything to my taste.
There were other sources here in the US that would certainly tell you that you were not alone
with this affliction. But it certainly was not as well known as it is now.

Now it is very easy to find groups or local people that are also in the same category we are.
Sometimes in the same town we are in.
It is all because of the internet. The information is more more available.
And the shopping selections are huge.

Lol, just yesterday I was chatting with a person in England and they had a pair of shoes I loved.
A little search and they will be here tomorrow.

Years back you would have never been able to connect with someone half way around the world.
and certainly not see a pair of shoes they had.
Then to find and be able to order and receive in 2 days.
That certainly never would have happened.

So yes, Amen for the modern age.
It certainly used to to worse.

[Maria 60]

Don't I know it was worse. Trying to be brave enough to buy pantyhose from a corner convenience store just to wear them once and do a dirty deed and feel so guilty it almost kills you. Believing I was the only one like this, couldn't explain how I had no control over it. Then came the internet and I told my wife who for some reason accepted it and then came this beautiful site and the clouds were lifted from the sky and the sun came in and brought all you beautiful people from here that we were all in the same situation. Thinking back it was hard, all the hiding, guilt and confusion. I'm glad times have changed a little but it is obviously better now with more information about most things.

[alwayshave]

Julie, It was worse. Before this web site, it did not have a support group.

[JulieC]

I too remember those dark, distant times before the Internet. I was a teenager, desperately seeking answers, also believing that maybe I was the only one. I went to our local library, a rather sizeable and well funded library, looking for information on this. All I could find was information about being gay. I was quite certain I wasn't gay, so it didn't apply to me. I couldn't find anything.

Then, just as the Internet started becoming a thing, after we stopped saying "bitnet", "arpanet", "uunet", and more... there was a mailing group or something like that...about crossdressing. I was absolutely floored. I read every scrap of it that I could see, and read it again. I WASN'T ALONE! I finally signed up for it, but did so by using an anonymous email server out of Finland, lest anybody track my posts back to me.

I do have a wedding dress. Though, it's about 40 pounds too small for me. I didn't know it when I got my hands on it. It was 50 pounds too small for me. Goals.

This group has proved pivotal to the lives of thousands of people around the world. Long may it ever last!

[docrobbysherry]

Not only were there countless second hand stores back then? They sold under things that looked clean and unworn!:)
I bought all my bras and shaping gear there!:battingeyelashes:

Now, they toss all those things, period!:sad:

[TheHiddenMe]

I have written here and other sites there is no better time to be LGBTQ than now. We owe those who came before us a tremendous amount of thanks for changing public opinion.

I too went to the library and found out I wasn't the only one like me. The internet meant I could read about others going out, and I decided "why not me". Now it's my turn to write about going out and maybe someone else will decide "why not me?"

[Marketa]

An older millennial here, so I don't remember pre-internet world per se, but I clearly remember world before internet being widespread and common thing, yet alone shopping on it. And I agree it's so much better to have such an interest we have today thank in the past with all the information, forums, groups, eshops and God bless the person who came up with drop box deliveries.

Btw. I was looking at wedding dress about a month ago :) But without an intention to buy them. Yet.

[Helen_Highwater]

Yep, the Internet was a game changer.

My first big eye opener was the photo sharing app Flickr. Pictures, actual pictures, of people like me, many out in the real world.

Online shopping was a double edged sword. Yes I could buy things but it was to the door delivery only. Working from home I'd be urging the delivery driver to come before my SO came home from work. So stressful. Delivery/ collection points were another game changer.

And it's hard to overestimate the effects of finding this community. I know without it it's highly doubtful I'd have reached the position I now find myself in.

[GretchenM]

Julie, you speak such truths. I remember the old days in the late 40's and 50's and even into the 60's when satisfying the powerful urges I felt was next to impossible without almost risking life and limb to "borrow" something from my mother. (I am an only child, but always wanted a sister because it seemed to me sisters were really neat.) And go out looking like a girl? Ha! You must be nuts. In the 70's things began to loosen up just a hair and by the 80's Christine Jorgenson and others were well known which seemed to open the door just a crack and it has slowly opened more and more all over the world.

Of course back in the 60's and 70's the idea that gender shifting is actually an aberration in your sexual orientation was the common explanation and was viewed as a serious sickness. Shock treatment was used in an attempt to alter the brain functioning and reset it to normal. Only a few suspected that the behavior pattern was normal in some people. In time those ideas took hold and as often happens society went crazy with the normality of cross-dressing and gender shifting. Then that became a bit more directed and less of a fad and more of a genuine lifestyle that warrants full respect because it was founded in a real perception. In much of the world, especially in Europe, that kind of acceptance thinking is more common today, but elsewhere there has been a recent very dangerous pushback that desires to return life to the 1950's complete with its prejudices. A view of sex and gender being the same thing and there are only two - PERIOD! To me, if you want to go back and embrace those values you have every right to do that. What you do not have is a right to tell others they must do that or else. Some of us live in an increasingly dangerous world just because we are different in some ways. Five years ago life was sweeter; now its flavor has developed a hint of a bitterness. I wonder if we will need to go into hiding again? But I think the progress made in the past will live on and when the naysayers pass on or come to their senses, the doorway to the progress achieved in the past will open wider again. Why? Because gender variance of many different types is a normal variation that occurs at a low rate and is a consequence of our overgrown brains that can consider alternative explanations with considerable ease - unless the person has closed and locked that door for themselves. We have learned just what a terrible thing a closed mind actually is. There is no going back!

[Amy Randal]

I started out borrowing things from the ladies in my house. Then it was in the car to drive across town to a store where I wouldn’t see anyone I knew. The first trip was two sets of bra, panties, and pantyhose. It was an exhilarating experience. I do like the convenience of buying things online but, I still get a thrill shopping in stores.

[ambigendrous]

A view of sex and gender being the same thing and there are only two - PERIOD! To me, if you want to go back and embrace those values you have every right to do that. What you do not have is a right to tell others they must do that or else.

But then there is the argument that that works both ways: those of us on the LGBTQ spectrum should be free to embrace our values, but we should not be shoving it down the throats of those who disagree. It's too bad that we haven't yet reached the point where people can be free to be whoever they want with no fear of repurcussions...

[bridget thronton]

I agree finding support is easier with the internet (and sites like this one).

[Genifer Teal]

I remember the time before the internet. My biggest exposure was phil donahue and sally jesse rafael shows. I think I got the internet near the beginning of 1999. It was six months before I thought to look us up. I found a chat room and talked to someone. As it turned out, she lived less than a mile from me. HOW WEIRD IS THAT? WHAT A CRAZY COINCIDENCE. She was typically in the closet, hiding from a wife and scared to let anyone know too much info. We stayed in touch through the internet, but that's about it.Never actually met her.

[BaliGirl]

Yes, it was definitely worse before the Internet.

Like JulieC, I thought I was alone. I didn't think that any teenage boy (other than me) would enjoy putting on women's clothing. I mean - what guy would see a bra and think "I wonder what it would feel like if I put that on?"

Fast forward many years, and I bought my first bra and breast forms online. But it wasn't until I found this group that I realized that I wasn't alone. Thanks to all of you!

[Stephanie47]

Julie, I'm 77 years old and lived through hell as a teenager. Yes, no internet. No material at the public library, and the "Kinsey Report" was kept behind the librarian's desk. Whether there was anything about men who wore women's clothing in it, I don't know. The only magazine of any sexual nature was Playboy at the local newspaper stand. The common belief was cross dressers were homosexual. The word 'gay' had not yet been co-opted, so references were vulgar terms. My parents were homophobic and tried their best to "catch me in the act." There was a store, Michael Salem Boutique," in midtown Manhattan that drew my attention but I did not have the guts to go in or even linger in front of the window. There were two women's clothing shops on the major shopping street in my neighborhood. I lingered at the bus stop, waiting for a bus I would never get on, so I could view the mannequins adorned with foundation and undergarments. The big torment was "How could a young man who lusted after unattainable starlets and neighborhood girls be a @#$%?"

[Meg]

Oh I too remember life before the web. It was pretty much hose and panties for me then. I would find myself in a distant store and "run" for the hose. I was able to buy some clothes in second hand shops, but being young and dumb, I had no idea of sizing. The internet was not just good for buying, it is a good reference tool for all things fem. And yes, I am so happy that I got to become part of this wonderful group of gurls.

[TrishaLake]

I long thought I was the only one.....then AOL came along and wow did I find out there were many. Then came the chasers lol I agree I can go anywhere now.

[Lacey New]

I agree completely. I too thought that I was the only one. I thought that I was some kind of weirs pervert and that if anyone found out, they would think I was gay ( and I definitely am not). I had no idea that there were others like me. We still are not mainstream but we are not the pariahs that wee once were.

[kimdl93]

Yes, I remember those days. In my household, I had to bring out the dead each morning for pickup. Things have changed considerable over the past few decades, but it seems some would like to make the world medieval again.

[CarlaWestin]

Yeah, visiting my mom where she worked in an office at a large department store.
Waiting for her near the employee elevator which was in the bras and girdles display area.
Using my allowance to buy sturdier punch balls 'cuz they were sturdy when filled with water.
Purchasing forbidden items for my Sister. "It's her Birthday!"

[Traci H]

I recall going to the big public library to look for books addressing transvestism. In this middle major city, I think I found one book that had any references to such. I read those sections intently looking for clues.

I visited a porno book store once or twice. They some newspaper type publications that were geared to transvestites. I clearly remember seeing the Michael Salem Boutique ads, which were far from me, but wishing I could go there. Those were a window into a forbidden world at the time.

Yes, it was so difficult to find out any information related to CDers back in those dark suppressed years before the internet.

[Crissy 107]

I went to the Michael Salem boutique in NYC but it took 3 trips before I had the nerve to actually go in. Definitely a fun place to go to.

[Genifer Teal]

Was that on 14th where the street entrance was the elevator? I'm thinking that was another place. Michael might have been in the 50s on the east side. I tried once but never found it. I did but my first heels "the height of success" from him. Memories.

[Crissy 107]

Michael Salems was I think in the 50s the one downtown was Lee’s Mardi Gras where you took the elevator up to the 2nd or 3rd floor. Both places were fun to go to, yes memories!

[Traci H]

https://www.michaelsalem.com/about.html