I want out!! Positive ideas and advice S.V.P.

[Ranee Daze]

It's so tough being a hetero crossdresser, but I have met a lady who I love to spend a long, long time with and I don't want the dressing thing to ruin it.

NO, NO, NO, I AM NEVER GOING TO TELL HER.

I DO NOT WANT POSTS ABOUT HOW FUTILE MY QUEST TO RETIRE RANEE AS A MEMBER IN GOOD STANDING OF .....MY PAST LIFE. SO PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, NO POSTS THAT ARE NEGATIVE. DO YOUR OWN POST FOR THAT.

I am looking for ideas and advice and support as I lay Renee to rest.

Many thanks for the honest few ready to help.

The man formerly known as Renee

[Julie York]

You need to put everything either in the bin or preferably a box somewhere and say Bye Bye to the fem persona. Delete your links, history files, photos and any other traces and reminders.

And then in 3 years time....either throw it all out or maybe you'll be glad you never got rid of it all anyway.

I think the general concesus is that what you are trying to achieve is very difficult, but I wish you luck. Maybe some folk do suceed but we never hear of them again so how would we know.

:thumbsup:

[DonnaT]

Best of luck! Really!

Tried to do that ages ago, but it didn't work out long. So, no real advice here.

Hope you are more successful. And I hope, if you can't stop and your SO finds out, your relationship survives any fallout.

[Bev06 GG]

Hi Renee,
Well I must say I admire you. Your willing to give it all up for the love of your life. I just really hope that you can do it because you sound so very inlove and so very sincere. Im sure that there must be others who've made big sacrifices for the sake of making a relationship work , and Im also certain that if you want it to happen so much then your more than likely to succeed, but then what do I know, Im not a CD.
I would say this tho, why dont you try sounding her out on how she feels about CD issues, you neva know she might be that one in a million who has no problems with it. I was and I dont consider myself to be kinky, strange, or out of the ordinary. There are quite a few of us out there you know and if she loves you as much as you love her, then it could be a good move.
I dont mean out and out tell her, just do abit of fishing first.
Take care
BEVxxx

[Shelly Preston]

Hi Ranee

Firstly why should your dressing ruin it.
This could possibly lead to more problems later if you dont at least say you have tried crossdressing. She then knows a little and if you cant give up dressing it will be less of a shock. I would advise telling her the whole story if you intend to spend a long time with this woman.

You have to consider her feelings

[Petrina CD]

Good Luck!!!!!

Pack all your stuff into an old suitcase or something, with the intention of long term storage. Fold everything nice as though you were going on a trip .Put it all somewhere dry where there will not be any mildew. Then in a few years you can either toss it all in the trash , or ,.............

I have done what you are attempting to do and I was glad to have kept some things.

All the Best to You
Petrina cd

[Zelda Noe]

Hi Ranee/Renee:

Please email me at private message so we can talk further...

Dandy:happy:

[Wendy me]

if it works and you never dress again write a book and sell it your going to be rich...the frist crossdresser to just quit good luck to you....

[Nikki Dee]

Hi. Love...If you really wanted to do this...then you really wouldn't have needed to ask would you.?
Nikki. x

[Casey Morgan]

Don't forget that dressed or not, Renee or not, you've got some personality traits that don't necessarily conform to the stereotypical image of what a manly man is. Don't shove them into a corner somewhere and pretend they don't exist. You may have to find new ways to express them, but you wouldn't be you without them.

If you haven't yet, try fashion briefs. They're just like tighty whiteys but they come in guy colors and even guy stripes. Better than just grabbing the pair that's on top of the pile.

Remember that you deserve to be happy. If stopping CDing makes you happy (not will but does make you happy, big difference there) then enjoy it and don't second guess yourself.

[Missy]

yes you can say good bye to the crossdressing for ever
yes it may be hard to do due to the amount of time and energy you have put into your crossdressing remember you did not here over night and the change will not be over night
find yourself a support group
SA groups might be the most helpfull with accountablity
the choise is yours
how badly do you want this will make all the differance

Missy :)

[livy_m_b]

I agree with missy - though it may not be true in all cases. When I've tried to be "normal", I've found that I have to organize my whole life in a way that supports being "normal" - that has meant increasing participation in hetero events (couples going out, etc.), having an active supporting community involvement (church, synagog, etc.) that reinforces the desired behavior, maintaining an active partnered heterosexual sex life, and sometimes antidepressants.

It's ironic in that so much of our energy is spent in coming out, but a strong reinforcer is not being out and being with people with whom one can never be out.

The aspect of needing frequent heterosexual relations needs emphasis too since, if it's not being too open about an aspect that's mostly not discussed, a masturbatory sex life will tend towards the fantasies that are most arousing to you and you can imagine where that will lead.

Good luck, it can be done, and I agree it can be wonderful to have a "real woman" in your life who does naturally all the things we can only emulate and more.

[Ms. Donna]

Too often on this forum I find that people portray the closet as a shameful place and that "coming out" is the only honourable option.

Acceptance, sure, "My name is Ranee Daze and I love the fact that I am a closeted crossdresser!"

By coming out after all of these years I would lose so many close connections with family, friends and work.

By stopping and purging I would become angry an depressed.

By remaining in the closet (yes I do go out enfemme once a month) I can cherish this aspect of my personality as my own special playground. I can go out and play and then come back home and put Ranee back in the box (suitcase actually) and happily and confidently return time after time to celebrate having Ranee in my life.

It takes alot of careful planning. It takes lots of skill, practice and smarts. It is dangerous.

But hell, men spend thousands of hours on golf, fishing, model trains...

Posted on April 10th, can we assume that now, nine days later, you have had a change of heart?

Much like La Cosa Nostra, there is no 'leaving the family' - you're in for life. ;)

You want positive advise? Be honest with yourself!

You're in your mid fourties and your interests are: shopping, makeovers, dressing. You've been this way your whole life. Do you really think you can just wish it away?


Like Wendy said: "if it works and you never dress again, write a book and sell it - your going to be rich... the first crossdresser to just quit."


Best of luck on your quixotic quest.


Love & Stuff,
Donna

[Phoebe Reece]

Renee, with all due respect, you are looking for advice in the wrong place. You are asking how to accomplish something no one on this forum has been able to accomplish themselves. If they had accomplished it, they would no longer have any interest in the subject and wouldn't be here. Any advice you do get about how to actually give it up forever from members here obviously has little chance of succeeding. I do hope you find what you are looking for in life.

[Faye Emmette]

Ranee, so happy to hear you have a Love.
Please keep some of your favourite articles of clothing/underwear in a box (with a cake of soap in it) and forget about it. And throw the rest.
Over the years, as you walk past that box that's under the Christmas decorations box in the basement or wherever, have a wry grin and think 'That was in the old unhappy days' and in time you'll find a way to dispose of that box.
All the best for the future and nice to know you were one of us here. :-)

[connie rotten]

The more I am involved in the sight the more I find I have in common with other crossdressers. After many realationships with many women I have concluded: I am the girl of my dreams.
Perdging my clothes collection, quitting, praying, repenting, abstaining, hiding,are all things I tried over the years to stop being a crossdresser. One day I told a drag queen friend of mine whom I know from a 12 step program how much I love dressing as a woman and that I felt the woman for me was inside of me. My friend told me to give her a name and a life. Well here I am.
If you find yourself crossdressing after you have quit you really are one of us.
I wish you a happy drab life.

[Lindahexi]

Ranee I wish you all the luck in the world, I have tried many times to give it all up, but have failed. Maybe I'm weak-willed, and maybe you have the strength and determination to achieve what most CD's cannot. The only advice I can offer is for you to try and find some other totally absorbing interest to avert your mind from dressing. You have your lady and that may help you, but many of us have wives or girlfriends and although we cherish them, we still have the need to dress.
Once again I wish you all the best,

Linda.

[ashlee chiffon]

try and not think about it when you see a panty ad!

[EricaCD]

Best of luck. Remember that dressing itself is a physical act. You can control it. You may not be happy--and you will probably never be able to wholly quit fantasizing about dressing. However, if people can be celibate for life, then you can leave women's clothes behind.

Many of the active posters here are CDs with a very strong feminine identity, for whom quitting really would be quite impossible. If you are less femme oriented you may well be able to live without it. Or at least take your best shot.

I wish you the best!
Erica

[Christina Nicole]

Yes, you can stop. But no half-way measures. You have to completely and totally purge everything. That means getting rid of all of the clothes, makeup, shoes, and accessories. Then get rid of all of the pictures. Then delete all of the files and links on the computer. Finally, don't look back. Don't go to the web sites.

You can give it up if you want. I gave it up because it was becoming an obsession. Once I straightened things out, I wanted to go back to it, but I only do it occasionally. If it gets to be too much again -- out it all goes, again. If things also work out for you with your lady, maybe you can go back to it. But don't make that a goal, or you may be disappointed.

Warm regards,
Christina Nicole

[Sharon]

People do quit crossdressing, but the successful ones do not return to the forum to say so, so we have limited exposure to these people. If your dressing was just a fetish, you have a much better chance of doing as you wish than if you believe you are fulfilling an inner need by dressing in women's clothing.

To be successful, then you have to approach this as an addict of drugs or alcohol would, because in a way it's similar, in that crossdressing has quenched some need of yours. It means no visiting crossdressing sites (you may have to quit using the net for awhile to avoid temptation), no allowing yourself to ponder over clothing ads, avoiding women's clothing departments, completely purging all your clothing and other feminine supplies (give them to a thrift shop or charity if they're in good condition). It may help to seek out professional help or find a close confidant you can contact if you feel the urge becoming overwhelming at some point. Find some time-consuming hobbies that involve creativity and energy, but avoid activities that allow your mind to wander (such as jogging or reading). Basically -- avoid anything possible that has previously triggered crossdressing thoughts for you.

However you attempt to accomplish this, Ranee, I wish only the best for you and good luck with your relationship and your life. :)

One additional thought -- you may be vastly underestimating your new friend.

[ChristineRenee]

Nothing I can add here to the advice that's already been given you...I just wanted to wish you the very best of luck Ranee.

[melissacd]

Those who have decided do...those who are unsure question...

[Teresa Amina]

If dressing is just something you Do you should be successful in your quest to live without it. BUT, if it's an expression of something you Are, then you will find it as much a part of you as your eyesight, hearing or any other part of you which you would be unwilling to live without.

[ritadee]

Best tell her now. Your fem side is for life also.

[Penny]

What man can conceive, man can acheive. Successful people say I will, unsuccessful people say I wish. Lastly, goal oriented people are successful.
First, establish goals or milestones. Remain positive in your attitude each day and take each day at a time. Accomplish short range goal first and they
will lead you to accomplish the ultimate goal. As with anything, it is possible but remember each one of us has needs, interests and desires along with goals we would like to accomplish. You facing an uphill battle if need and disires for your love do not competetively override your CD needs. Good luck!

[sportschick]

Ranee..I want to lose crossdressing also because I feel truly happy and at peace with myself when it's not in my thoughts..oddly enough, in my case participating on this forum and looking at it analytically as a kind of interested observer of others and my own thoughts and behavior has lessened the frequency and intensity of my need to dress.I haven't dressed in a year, or had much urge to. I posted recently about having an opportunity to dress soon but not feeling like it, but maybe doing it anyway to observe my reaction. We'll see. This site for me is starting to function like AA for an alchoholic, which in my case is a good thing. I saw a website of one of the people on here who has tons of photos and took the crossdressing way beyond what most people do, but now claims not to have done it for a couple of years now and feels that he won't return to it.Who knows?

I wonder if for some of us, crossdressing is just filling a void, and can be replaced by something else. We're all individuals, and maybe you're one that's able to not let something control you..I hope I am as well..best of luck, PM me if you want to discuss further, I'd be happy to.

[rachellenicole]

Ranee,
The journey you are attempting to undertake is a tough one. I wish you success. I have tried to walk that strait and narrow path, to no avail. I can not ever see myself not CDing. If you are involved in a new relationship, in my opinion, you should give it some time. When the newness wears off of a relationship (If this the case), Ranee may want to resurface. As Bev suggested, do a little inquiring as to her thoughts on the subject, she may be receptive.

Well thats my humble opinion, best of luck.

Rachelle

[Aynthem]

if it works and you never dress again write a book and sell it your going to be rich...the frist crossdresser to just quit good luck to you....

Truer words were never spoken.

If someone could tell me what I need to do to get this monkey off my back I'd do it in a heart beat. I managed a 4 year streach after I got married. Yes, I told my wife before we got married, no she doesn't know I've started again. I'm working on that.

Best of luck. You have my support 100%, but I have no advice to give you.

[suanne]

Well....I would like to add my comments if you don't mind. You want advice, good. Here it is. After you have read these comments don't ever come back here unless you want to start dressing again. Keep yourself and past in the closet forever. When you start to think about dressing....think of something else. When you see a nice looking women dressed to the nines and you find yourself wishing you could put on a pair of pantyhose or lingerie....start thinking of something else. Find something to replace your desire for dressing. The main thing is to separate yourself from the things that flame your desire to dress. For your sake we hope to never hear from you again. God's speed. Tell yourself this will work. If this does not work...well...crossdressers.com will be here for you, and so will all of us who have tried so hard to get this monkey off our backs as well.

Suanne

[GypsyKaren]

You want to quit? Quit! Just don't do it anymore, you don't need anyone telling you that. I just want to add that I've rarely heard someone say that the closet is a "shameful" place to be.

Karen

[LaurenMar]

If dressing is just something you Do you should be successful in your quest to live without it. BUT, if it's an expression of something you Are, then you will find it as much a part of you as your eyesight, hearing or any other part of you which you would be unwilling to live without.

I agree with Teressa. I gave up CDing for several years because of a relationship with a woman. I started again because I am Lauren a girl.

If CDing is just a fetish thing I suppose the sacrifise is worth it.

If however it is more, you are lying to yourself and to your lady friend.


Lauren

P.S. Either way I wish you happiness

xxxxx

[annekathleen]

" I'll Be Back!"

[allisonrn06]

Your comment brings up a question for me Julie.How do you delete your links,history,etc.After each session at the forum here I use Aol's clear footprints feature,delete my history from the control panel,and still the next time I log on to aol and start to enter the first letter of the forum, it automatically comes up.I think it's unlikely my wife will ever log on using my screen name because she has her own,but still if she did it would create a problem.Just wonderring if you know something that might help.



You need to put everything either in the bin or preferably a box somewhere and say Bye Bye to the fem persona. Delete your links, history files, photos and any other traces and reminders.

And then in 3 years time....either throw it all out or maybe you'll be glad you never got rid of it all anyway.

I think the general concesus is that what you are trying to achieve is very difficult, but I wish you luck. Maybe some folk do suceed but we never hear of them again so how would we know.

:thumbsup:

[DonnaT]

Your comment brings up a question for me Julie.How do you delete your links,history,etc.After each session at the forum here I use Aol's clear footprints feature,delete my history from the control panel,and still the next time I log on to aol and start to enter the first letter of the forum, it automatically comes up.I think it's unlikely my wife will ever log on using my screen name because she has her own,but still if she did it would create a problem.Just wonderring if you know something that might help.
In AOL 9.0, beside the url address line is an arrow pointing down. Click on it. The box that opens has a feature at the bottom called "Turn on Enhanced History". Turn it on. The next box that appears allows you to clear all of the history or you can select certain ones and delete them.

[sharifemme]

Ranee...

No big lectures if you don't want them.

Hope you had better luck than I did. We've been married since 1972 and I originally thought marraige to my wife would cure me. In the 34 years since we tied the knot, I have been able to quit crossdressing for months or even years at a time but always returned.

I don't think you can really do much better but I hope you can if that is what you want. Please just don't ruin a woman's life like many of us did.

Sharifemme



It's so tough being a hetero crossdresser, but I have met a lady who I love to spend a long, long time with and I don't want the dressing thing to ruin it.

NO, NO, NO, I AM NEVER GOING TO TELL HER.

I DO NOT WANT POSTS ABOUT HOW FUTILE MY QUEST TO RETIRE RANEE AS A MEMBER IN GOOD STANDING OF .....MY PAST LIFE. SO PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, NO POSTS THAT ARE NEGATIVE. DO YOUR OWN POST FOR THAT.

I am looking for ideas and advice and support as I lay Renee to rest.

Many thanks for the honest few ready to help.

The man formerly known as Renee

[MsJanessa]

Darling if she can't handle your dressing then she is not the right girl for you. Look at it logically for a moment----who you are en femme is a big, big part of you. If the shoe was on the other foot and your gf liked to dress and go out butch you would want to know wouldnt you? Well the same thing applies here---believe Me its far better (and easier) to end a relationship now then end it 10-20 years from now when (after you have purged and purged again) she discovers your crossdressing. And if she can handlle the dressing---and even takes an active role with you en femme--think of the years of bliss you can have, At worst she will appreciate your honesty but not take the relationship further---at best you will be her girlfriend and lover for a long long time. It's worth a chance---the other way is only misery and unhappyness for you(and maybe her too)

[sharifemme]

Ms Janessa...

I agree with you totally, but she didn't want to hear anything about being honest, so I just told her what happened to me and gave her my wishes that it would work out better for her than the thousands of us that tried what she wants to do with no success.

I'd feel much better about it if she was not involving other people in possible life committments.

Sharifemme

"Those who fail to remember the past(or the lessons of others) are doomed to repeat it."



Darling if she can't handle your dressing then she is not the right girl for you. Look at it logically for a moment----who you are en femme is a big, big part of you. If the shoe was on the other foot and your gf liked to dress and go out butch you would want to know wouldnt you? Well the same thing applies here---believe Me its far better (and easier) to end a relationship now then end it 10-20 years from now when (after you have purged and purged again) she discovers your crossdressing. And if she can handlle the dressing---and even takes an active role with you en femme--think of the years of bliss you can have, At worst she will appreciate your honesty but not take the relationship further---at best you will be her girlfriend and lover for a long long time. It's worth a chance---the other way is only misery and unhappyness for you(and maybe her too)

[Dana]

Personally, I've never been one to pull my punches ~ and I have some comments to make about all of this, the good, the bad, and the ugly. It may not be what you want to hear ~ but I'm putting it out there for the consideration of others ~ after all this is a fourmn.

I read years ago from the "duty expert of the day" that it would be possible for an individual to adstain from the desire, (notice I said desire ~ albiet a very strong one ~ and not need) through having a great deal of sex. Another time ~ I read where ~ an individual wrote into a Dear Abby ~ and stated that he was a crossdresser ~ who abstained from crossdresing because of his wife and their relationship.

Past behavior being the best predictor ~ of future behavior ~ you've got the odds stacked against you ~ your situation would be akin to a former alchololic going and hanging out in bars ~ or a former crack addict going and hanghing with the same old crowd at crack houses.

And, I should clarify that IMHO, crossdressing isn't an addiction such as drugs or alcohol ~ these days everyone wants to make everything an addiction ~ and to me that is nothing more than coping out ~ and not taking ownership and being accountable for who and what you are, we are.

Why do we crossdress? Plain and simple ~ because on some level ~ be it pyschological, mental, emotional, sexually ~ on some level ~ it works for us, and fulfills some inner need that needs fulfilling and / or expressing.

With that said ~ can you just walk away from it? Absolutely, but you're probally are going to have to make that decision everyday for the rest of your life ~ much akin to quitting smoking. And, you'll probally will have a couple of hits and miss episodes ~ backslidding episodes. Don't beat yourself up too severly, if and when this occurs.

I can most definately tell you this ~ you're going to need to find something in your life to replace it with ~ hopefully something posiitve. A hobyy ~ something physical would be good. Something that requires a tremendous amount of focus and concentration. Running always worked for me in de-stressing myself.

My last GF thought my crossdressing was a subsistute for getting into a healthy relationship with a woman ~ whatever? Perhaps it is ~ was, whatever. It un-questionably has been an stress outlet over the course of my life.

Crossdress ~ not to crossdress ~ no matter how you slice it, dice it, chop it up, cut it up ~ dress it up ~ you're NOT being completely honest with the "love of your life" if you neglect to reveal yourself, and make yourself known to her in your completeness, and entirity as a human being. Trust me! If you had some other ghosts in the closet, (a DUI conviction, had been in prison, had a criminal records ~ or some other negative ~ 99.99% of any and all women ~ don't only want to know, they absolutely NEED to know. You're selling yourself, her, and yourself short, by not being totally and completely honest about who and what you are as a person.

Its all fine and well ~ that you've decided to, have choosen to go the route that you have ~ that's all well and good. But, you need to discuss this with her. Why? Because she deserves the absolute, un-varnished truth. Nothing less. Why? Because, she'll be better to know you and understand you, and assist you in over-coming this, IF that is the decision and way that the two of you choose to go.

To do anything less ~ is treading where Angels fear to go!

[discovery]

To thyself be true first what and whoever that is!!!!!

[Ranee Daze]

Thanks for all of the advice so far. The idea of packing away all of my goodies and girdles in a locked case is appealing. Since most makeup has a shelf-life anyway it's on it way to the trash. My new love is like an equal an is totally into the notion that I have, and that is that the sexes are truly closerm than we think. I do little of the macho stereotypical stuff anyway. I make myu living professionally in the arts, visit galleries, cry at movies, smell flowers, let women brush my hair......the thing is that with my new love the only real difference is in the external plumbing.
Also, my dressing was sexually motivated. By getting all dressed up and later screwing myself, I was really screwing myself. I managed my dressing by limiting it to once every month or so. I never needed to dress every day and never thought of transsexualism.
I should be ok. Your support means alot.
The man formerly known as Ranee

[maggie]

I was able to suppress Maggie and my cross-dressing for 30 years by becoming an enthusiast for men's kilts, and later Utilikilts, Amerikilts, and other kilt-like clothing specifically designed for men.

After meeting the woman who would later become my wife, I got rid of all my CDing stuff, found a store that imported Scottish kilts, and ordered one. This was back in the early 1970's when wearing a kilt was extremely daring for a man in the United States. It helped that I had some Scottish heritage. I told her about my interest in kilts shortly after we met. She was a little spooked about it at first, but she gradually accepted the kilts because they were men's clothing.

I found kilts very comfortable - both physically and psychologically. I felt excited at being so daring, which helped to alleviate my desire to CD. Furthermore, I no longer had to feel envious when I saw women in their skirts.

Nowadays you can order reasonably priced men's casual kilts and non-Scottish kilt variations from various websites on the Internet, as well as caftans, sarongs, and other skirt-like garments for men.

I realize that kilts won't satisfy many CDers because, after all, they are men's clothing, and you are expected to display a macho attitude while wearing one. Nevertheless, they might be worth a try.

However, my thoughts about CDing never totally went away, and finally, after 30 years of suppression, my actual CDing came back stronger than ever. Oh well.

Maggie

[MsEva]

If dressing is just something you Do you should be successful in your quest to live without it. BUT, if it's an expression of something you Are, then you will find it as much a part of you as your eyesight, hearing or any other part of you which you would be unwilling to live without.

So well stated Teresa! I wish you well hon, I do. If you ever find a clear cut way to do it...please let me know. I have tried and tried...I hate failing.

[Missy Anne]

Ranee:

Good luck in your attempt.

Just remember that even if you can stop crossdressing, you will probably never be able to stop thinking about it! If it turns out that you can't suppress it, you will have a much bigger problem on your hands in the future.

Best regards!

Missy Anne

[livy_m_b]

Ranee - don't be discouraged, those who achieve escape velocity don't orbit
this forum any more. Those who are here either can't or don't want to do otherwise. In the cd/t communities, the standard "story" is that escape is impossible - consider the source. Go away and be happy! *sob*

love

Olivia

[Ranee Daze]

Be careful, imagery in literacy is so rare around here as I discovered when I posted "couplets please". Lots of laddies can dress here, but few can really write.

[Joy Carter]

Well your going to be living full time with a woman and her wardrobe can you be with her and handle that? My so drives me wild every time I'm around her not only our love for each other but all the things that shouts that she is a woman and I wish I was. Our love for each other sustains me but only to a point I'm only human and I was born this way. Be honest and don't ruin her life by being selfish wanting to posess her.

0.02

[carol ann]

I admire your intentions because relationships are the most important things in life.

I quit for twelve years as the children were growing up. I did as others have suggested by purging myself of everything (and I didn't have the internet to tempt me back then). Next i found a new hobby to fill my time with - possibilities to suggest are golf, short story writing, getting involved in politics or religion (yes I am serious), taking an external degree at university, gardening or home improvements. whatever it is , there should be something to occupy your time and interest you when you are away from your new friend.

The problem will be that if and when you have time on your hands the temptations will emerge and you will have to be strong to resist them. However the love of a good women will make that worthwhile

[Jennaie]

Ranee:

First, I would like to tell you that I know exactly how you feel, as I am sure that many here do. We meet a woman that we are so very attracted to and we suddenly start thinking, "Oh my, I have to purge everything, she can't find out, she will drop me in a heart beat". Not only have I felt this but I have done this, throwing away thousands of dollars in makeup, clothing, supplies, etc...

I do understand your situation. This is the only advice I can offer if this is something that you really want to attempt.

Never:

Go into the womens dept of a store.
Look in her delicates drawer.
Pick her clothing up off the floor.
Go through her makeup.
Look through her closet when she is not home.

Always:

See her as the woman who is beautiful in all those pretty things., not you.
When you do see something that is calling to you, visualize it on her, not you.
If you find yourself in a situation that you just can't resist the thought of buying it for yourself, buy it in her size and give it to her as a gift, telling her how beautiful you thought it would look on her.


The only other thing I can tell you is to get off this site and any other site that deals with crossdressing and never come back.

I wish you all the luck in the world.