New Purging Thoughts

[Davina13]

Hello ladies,
This post is about purging female clothes,it?s almost hard for me to type that.
I?ve very recently lost 80 lbs.,and since I?ve been losing weight,I seem to no desire to dress. And I live alone,it?s certainly easy for me. I always thought,oh,you lose weight and your clothes will fit better,and you?ll look better. And now I?m considering a total purge. This has been going on for nearly 4 months. I?ve only dressed once in that time,and I used to spend everyday,all day dressed. I?m trying to wrap my head around why I feel this way. I?m very reluctant to purge everything,and then the pink fog rolls in. I?m certain I need to sleep on this for a bit. The internal struggle is killing me. I?ve seen it enough here,that the general consensus is not to purge.Ive had one girlfriend kinda recent since I?ve been dressing,it wasn?t an issue for her,we used to sit dressed together,but I do get get concerned that it could affect a possible relationship with someone else in my future. I would think that most singles do have that concern as well.
I suppose I?m just lost in space.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Davina:hugs:,

Rule#1 Don't Purge !!

Rule #2 , If you feel that you must Purge,

Read Rule #1 Again!!

>>>>Orchid**O:daydreaming:O**

[Raychel]

I will echo Blue's post.
Don't ever purge, It will only cost you in the end.
All those items that you purge you will have to buy again when
the wind changes. And no doubt it will change at some point in time.

[Crissy 107]

Davina, Count me in with Blue and Raychel, please do not purge. I have done it in the past and I still regret it. Some of the items you purge you will never be able to replace.
Put it away somewhere and give it time.

[Angie G]

Don't do it two years ago I had a health problem and lost the earge to dress and purged all my things. Some of the stuff was really nice things.
The felling to dress came back now I regret doing the purg

[Sandi Beech]

The key thing I picked up is that you said you are living alone. So unless the space is an issue, there is no need to rush.

I am in the process of purging. The cost is of replacing items is not so much of an issue, at least for me, but some items cannot be easily replaced. Also, many items may have sentimental value if you wore them somewhere special for example. So downsize if you must, but think twice about those special items you will never be able to acquire again.

My 2 cents worth. Good luck to you regardless.

Sandi

[kimdl93]

I have a question. 80 lbs is a lot of weight. Was the weight loss intentional? Even if so, that kind of weight loss can have impacts on your mental state, and in some sense, take enjoyment from other aspects of life. Talk with your health provider about your feelings. Its possible that you are expereincing a depressive state triggered by the weight loss.

[Lacey New]

The weight loss could justify some purging of clothes that you will likely never wear again and can be replaced by some prettier things. But I have gone through a number of purges and gotten rid of a number of things that are almost impossible to replace. When is the last time you saw a pair of floral print Vanity Fair Lace Nouveau panties for example? So, unless you have some compelling reason to purge, I would recommend that you don?t do it.

[Davina13]

I appreciate all your responses,I know you’re all correct. But I’m fighting this my head. And yes Kim,the weight loss was intentional. A depressive state is very possible. The idea of a possible downsize and remove the larger clothing is a very viable option without losing everything for when the wind changes. There are items with definite sentimental value to me as well. I’d really hate to lose some things. I’m still sleeping on it,so that’s a positive thing.

[JulieC]

I agree that purging is likely a bad idea.

If the only reason to purge is that you've lost the urge to crossdress in the last several months, then why? Do you feel like you'd be exorcising a demon? Like, now is your opportunity to get rid of everything when resistance is low? Are you really that certain that you'll never want to crossdress ever again in the future? A few months is really a pretty short time. If you had not had the urge to crossdress in 10+ years then maybe...maybe...it's time. A handful of months? I don't think so.

As for its impact on potential relationships; yes, that's a very real concern. But, purging isn't going to solve that concern. Whether you have a zillion dresses, skirts, bras, shoes, etc. or nothing...crossdressing isn't about your collection of femme clothes. It's about you and who you are inside. Crossdressing is an expression of who you are. Lots of us, possibly all of us, go through time periods where the urge to crossdress can disappear for extended periods and then come back with a rush. So, let's say you purge everything. For now, you feel great; it's in the past, you don't have to worry about having to have that talk with your new girlfriend, and everything is grand. You spend years with her, maybe get married, buy a house together, etc. etc. etc. Then one day, you're doing laundry and you come across something really femme of hers. The dam breaks and the pink fog comes in like a torrential downpour. What do you do then? Purging will not have solved this. Purging will not put this in the past.

I agree with kimdl93; discussing these issues with someone who has expertise in this area of behavior health would probably be a very, very good idea. Too often we have this stigma associated with seeing someone like this. It's no different than if you had any other medical concern.

In the meantime, if you want to trim down your collection, great. But, be careful what you purge. As others noted above, you will regret it and miss things you had.

[Davina13]

That was extremely insightful Julie,thank you.

[Maria 60]

If only it was that easy. I just told my wife yesterday if I would wake up the next morning with no desire to dress how much easier life would be. She answered me that she doesn't see me doing anything wrong and just enjoy expressing a fem side and that's how I see it with you. If you need the space then move the stuff out, but if you live alone why not just give it more time. It will be back, it's in our blood. I purged once a lost some amazing items I can't replace. My opinion would be to ride it out but that's just my opinion

[Davina13]

I’m going to take everyone’s advice,everyone is saying the same thing,logically there’s gotta be a reason for that. I just spent the last half hour pulling all the stuff out of my garbage can that I wouldn’t have been able to donate,luckily,that’s all that was in the can:)
Thank you so much ladies

[Genifer Teal]

I would have called this downsizing but that's just me
It's not really purging if you're not doing because you feel done with it. I get the reluctance to get rid of certain items. Everything holds a story of the time you wore it. Maybe when you got it or how you got it. Whatever it is, it's a memory you want to hold on to. It's also a memory of a size you no longer are. Make it a reminder of a size.You never want to be again. Whatever the reason, don't keep it as a backup.In case you fit that size again someday.

[Davina13]

I’ve resigned myself to just downsize,keep what fits me now. That seems like the best option for me at this point.

[alwayshave]

Davina, I'm glad you decided not to purge. The need to dress will return.

[Bluesman]

Targeted purging, e.g. things you never wear, don't like, don't fit, unflattering,etc. can be a positive and constructive undertaking. Put everything else in storage (at home or elsewhere) so you'll have them when the desire comes back, which it most probably (or certainly?) will. Good luck!

[Davina13]

Well,I did go through everything,made a lot of donations,and hung up all the stuff I’m keeping back in my closet. The advice you ladies gave me really helped me get through a weird period. I really do enjoy dressing,and the relaxing calm it brings me,I’m very happy I did not purge everything:)