An upcoming event.

[Philipa Jane]

I met someone recently who I first saw as a guy.
Since then I have met her socially on her own where she presented as Linda
I have now been invited to an Easter Sunday lunch where her family and friends will be attending.
In a situation where I go to lunches with strangers I am quite at home being anonymous.
On Sunday that will not be possible as I feel certain that Linda will have told her daughters and partners about me. I don?t like the thought of being the centre of attention or a curiosity.
I have been told by Linda the guests are more likely to be mindful of not offending me which already has me thinking they already know.
I think I will go and see how things develop.
Any suggestions please

[Connie D50]

Have fun :)

[alwayshave]

If Linda's wife and daughter know about her, you should be fine. Just relax and have fun.

[danniUK]

I'd feel really uncomfortable not knowing who-knew-what in that kind of situation. Though discomfort shouldn't prevent us doing (some) things.
I like your approach, I'd go and see how it goes.

[Jenn A116]

A couple of questions:
Are you going as your guy or girl self?
Have you asked Linda what she has told her family about you?

A comment:
If you were invited then I'd go assuming that you'll be welcomed and not judged.

[nvlady]

Since they are fully aware of Linda, you won't be much of a curiosity.

[cdinmd206]

I think you are reading too much into this. Go and have a good time and then report back to us how it went!!!!!

[Crissy 107]

Phillipa, Some good advice already, I also think just go and have a nice day.

[Philipa Jane]

Thank you all for the comments.
I can see somethings that may not be clear.
Jamie. Linda has no wife. She passed away about 18 months ago and I am unsure when Linda's daughters and partners knew about Linda.
Danni. You are thinking much like myself.
Jenn. I met Linda when she was a guy. I am transexual. In my mind I think Linda may have told her family that "Hey I have found someone like me"
nvlady Yes they know Linda is a CD but a trans person is something many people may never meet. Which make people curious.
cdinmd You are probably correct in my overthinking this and I will let you know how it goes.
Chrissy. Thank you

[Suzie Petersen]

Phillipa,

Could you just call and ask Linda about who knows what? At least it would be important for you to know what they know about Linda, so you don't accidentally out her to someone who does not know.

Regardless, it is very nice of her to invite you, and just shows that she is totally comfortable with you and how you present. That is a nice compliment in itself, right!

You are right that most people have not interacted with a transitioned TS, and this will even be a little more personal since it is a lunch with friends and family. People will likely be curious to get to know you, being a friend of Linda's, and if someone is curious and interested in your gender, just see it as an opportunity to educate a little. Or simply say that you would rather not talk about it, if you don't feel like it. And then shift to talking about the weather.

Happy Easter
Hugs
Suzie

[JohnH]

I go to funerals at my church where I meet unfamiliar people. I also dress en femme wearing a black dress, heels, and makeup. I have always had positive experiences meeting people with no negative reactions. And I go as John as I don't have a feminine name.

John

[kimdl93]

If it was me, I would simply assume everyone knows, but I would conduct myself as if they do not. At the very least, I would look forward to pleasant time. Hope it goes well.

[bridget thronton]

Enjoy the the lunch

[Mercedes]

Good luck Phillipa with the brunch. I think you have the confidence to make sure that you will make the most of the situation as it presents itself. Looking forward to hearing how it goes. And as it is already Easter Sunday in Australia, I assume you are having a great time with some new friends.

[Philipa Jane]

Dear friends I did say I would write and let you know how things went.
I arrived about an hour before the posted time for lunch and saw so many cars in the driveway.
I assumed there were already people there. I was wrong as they all belonged to Linda. Seems she is a car hoarder.
I was the only one so far other than her daughter.
OK so far so good. People arrived much nearer to 1 pm than I would have done. Everyone was very welcoming and I felt fine.
We moved to the dinning room and i took a seat opposite Alan. After drinks were poured for everyone Alan got a little flamboyant with his gestures and a glass of water was knocked over. Most of it heading my way. Oops. No real harm done and I did feel for him having made such a fool of himself.
So many people fussing over me and it was only water.
There were three young adults under 25 and the rest were around 65 which made me the oldest one there.
I was over dressed and wore makeup (standard for me) but I did not feel bad about that. Everyone else was super casual.
The conversation bounced around on different things and everyone called Linda, Linda except the daughters who called her dad.
I was included in the chat but took a backseat untill I was asked direct questions but, this was more about my work experience and hobbies.
Anyone with a dog who hears I have been a dog handler and instructor want to know how to fix the bad habits their pet has.

I was one of the last to leave because I wanted to talk to Linda some more. I still don't know how many CD people she knows and direct questions are met with "I have many friends".
I was wrong to worry that I might be a 'display' friend. Sometimes I think the worst of people intentions.
I will explain.
If Linda has not mixed in CD circles this was an ideal opportunity to introduce me as another who was like her. Giving validation to her choices.
She is out to all of these people and has the personality (and size) not to worry or be confronted by anyone, anywhere.
Linda is also aware that she will never pass but is comfortable living her best life.
I had a nice afternoon.

- - - Updated - - -

345761
This is the dress I wore yesterday. I took the photo later in the afternoon at home.

[Genifer Teal]

Being tall, I have to deal with this situation often. I kind of expect people to figure me out. I often end up the center of attention.

My mom says tall people are more successful in business. If that's true, I think it's because they get noticed and get more attention and then they know how to manage it, and use it to their advantage.

I kinda do the same thing. Since I'm going to get attention, I make sure I look like I belong. I act like I fit in. And i'm friendly and outgoing towards everyone, even the occasional hater. My one personality wins a lot of people over. If I went in scared and skeptical of everyone, i'm sure it would show and people would be more skeptical of me.

[kimdl93]

Phillipa, it seems (other than the dousing with water) that the day went very well. And you looked lovely!

Genifer, your experience mirrors my own, being tallish (6 ft 2) definitely sets one apart in most groups. I would not describe myself as outgoing, but I am reasonably personable and capable of engaging in coherent conversation. People seem to respond positively.

[JohnH]

Philippa,
I'm glad you had a good time dressed en femme.
I have NEVER run into anybody in recent years while presenting like a woman, which is standard for me. I'm not excessively tall at 174 cm (5' 8 1/2") but I have a deep masculine bass voice. Nobody seems to react to my voice.
I notice that I get hugged by women while being dressed like a woman, something I don't see much of women hugging men in traditional male clothing.

John