So, tell us......

[CarlaWestin]

Are you dressing to BE your woman of desire or,
are you dressing to BE WITH your woman of desire?

In my case it's usually the latter. The tactile experience with all the erotic feedback. But when there is that opportunity to just be in fem mode all day, it's the first choice.

[Sandi Beech]

That is a good question. I am not really sure, maybe it is both. I do know my wife thought I was trying to be both partners at the same time. Something like that. I do not recall her exact words. I mostly wear what I like to see. Well i used to that is.

Sandi

[AmyJordan]

Hi Carla

I dress to be as femme as possible because that's how my wife likes me to look so I guess I'm dressing to be the woman SHE desires.

Amy x

[Jasmine23]

Hi Carla,

I suppose to be the woman I desire is probably the closest. When I dress up I want to dress as femininly as possible, wear the clothes I'd like to see women wear. Women have so many options of clothes, hairstyles, shoes, makeup looks, so can look completely different depending on how they style themselves, I love that aspect of it. I also like to be desired as a woman when I dress up. As a man I've never felt desired, but, when I dress up I feel so much better and know I look good

[Kris Burton]

Great question Carla! My feelings align with those of Jasmine. I strive to appear as feminine as possible, to take on the role, at least superficially, of a desired woman. I strive to be her.

[danniUK]

I think for me it's ultimately that I'd love to be desired as a woman - so it's option A.

[SaraLin]

To Be or to be with - is that the question? (Sorry Shakespeare :heehee:)

For me, the dressing is more the first. It's not the clothing itself so much as it is my way of feeling more "in sync" with my sense of just who I am inside.

[audreyinalbany]

or is it "to be ONE of the gals"? Maybe just female companionship and bonding? that word "desire' seems to add an element of sexuality.

[alwayshave]

Carla, to be my woman of desire. The woman I desire to be with is unattainable.

[Kris Burton]

that word "desire' seems to add an element of sexuality.

Yes it does...at least in the imagination!

[chrissy111]

I dress for me, but I also dress for my wife who is my woman of desire.

[Georgina]

I like to present well and like the clothes to suit me. I don't need to look like I am a women.

[Cheryl T]

Neither!
I'm dressing because I Am her!

[SophiaRose]

I also dress to be me. Desire, in an intimacy sense, isn?t really part of my equation.

[Traci H]

I didn?t respond on this thread right away Carla because I had to think about it. After reading other?s responses and some thought, I was going with option one. Then Cheryl said I am her and that rang true to me. I just am her and the reason I dress. Whatever bumps, bruises and thorns that brings with it.

[Natalie5004]

There are plenty of time that I want to be one of the girls.

SO, where does that leave me? Which camp?

[Raychel]

I dress to escape reality for a short while and just enjoy being me, and dressing how I prefer
I don't dress to be a woman, or dress to be like the woman I would desire.
I just dress how I feel most comfortable.

[JohnH]

Hi Carla,

I suppose to be the woman I desire is probably the closest. When I dress up I want to dress as femininly as possible, wear the clothes I'd like to see women wear. Women have so many options of clothes, hairstyles, shoes, makeup looks, so can look completely different depending on how they style themselves, I love that aspect of it. I also like to be desired as a woman when I dress up. As a man I've never felt desired, but, when I dress up I feel so much better and know I look good

Why should only women have all the fun? It's time for men to take back The Great Male Renunciation which started around 1750. I certainly do my part, as I wear dresses and nail polish. Also, on Sunday mornings I add hosiery, heels, perfume, makeup, and hoop earrings. I don't need any breast forms as I naturally fill a 40DD bra.

John

[TheHiddenMe]

Really, neither. I dress because I like the look and feel of the clothes, and in some ways it makes me feel sexy, whether or not anyone else considers it sexy.

As to a strategy to attract someone, I am attracted to women, and I have never considered dressing like one to be a fairly effective strategy to attract one (nonwithstanding I've been married for 33 years).

It's more the scratch I just have to itch, and the more you scratch, the more you itch.

[Lacey New]

I think it is to be with the woman I most desire. If my wife was not ready, panties always were.

[Monique65]

I dress to become my own woman.

[Genifer Teal]

I'm not understanding "be with" the woman you desire. I think there's a fine line of crossover between the two options you offer. Keep in mind, I overthink stuff.I'm sure no one else here does that. If anyone else favors the being with the woman you desire, please lend some insight to that side of the equation.

[Di]

Great post Carla
Loving the answers .

[CrossKimmy]

Im dressing to be me but I do want to be desirable as well

[Mary Loo]

Are you dressing to BE your woman of desire or,
are you dressing to BE WITH your woman of desire?


Neither!

Yes, one of the benefits/reasons for dressing is to feel more desirable to myself. I like to enjoy my reflection in the mirror. Do I enjoy looking at a male body? Particularly my own? Absolutely not is the answer to both of those. Do I like to admire the female form? Yes, I always have and always will. Therefore to present an image I admire, I use breast forms, hip pads, sometimes my corset, and a wig (not makeup very often due to time, effort, lack of ability, and cleanup required, thus I have to rely on my imagination and Face Ap, no longer free, grr, to try to overcome that). All the extras are utilized because it makes me feel good, aka sexy, when I can admire a female looking reflection/image.

Do I want to BE the woman of my dreams? No, I am very happy in my life and my male existence, again, always have been, always will.

Regarding your second option, I am already able to be WITH the woman of my desires and have been for almost 35 years now, my wife. Thus, that isn’t the right answer either.

Sorry for the verbose answer, but hopefully it resonates with others out there.

[Michaela Jane]

Personally, I have absolutely no idea for whom, what, or why I dress. I don't know if it's the materials, personal comfort, self-expression, or to explore my feminine side. I feel calm and relaxed when dressed, so it could be a way to cope with stress or anxiety. Not that I feel stressed or anxious at all. My wife passed 9 years ago and I have been dressing ever since, sometimes in her clothes, more often in my own femme clothes. I just like it.

[NancySue]

I dress daily simply because I enjoy it. As I?ve mentioned, my supportive wife rolls her eyes trying to understand how I can enjoy underwire bras, hose (thigh highs), etc. Actually , I don?t understand it either, but I do know dressing is so enjoyable.

[Maid_Marion]

I dress to socialize. My social status is much higher as well dressed women.
My clothes clearly indicate my desired pronouns.

They simply do not make clothes for men my size. Women's petite size 2.

I have no trouble engaging in conversation and playing a decent game a golf at the same time. :)

[Christina89]

I dress because it?s me. I am Christina and she is me. I don?t dress to make anyone but myself happy.

[Genifer Teal]

I dress to socialize. My social status is much higher as well dressed women.
My clothes clearly indicate my desired pronouns.

They simply do not make clothes for men my size. Women's petite size 2. I have no trouble engaging in conversation and playing a decent game a golf at the same time. :)

It's unfortunate, but these days clothes don't clearly indicate anything about pronouns or desired gender. People will call you whatever they want, address you however suits them. Any chance of the general assumption - I look like a girl, why not address me as a girl? has been lost these days as per my experience.

With the excess variety and number of variables, it's difficult to assume anything about a person's gender. In the past, with fewer choices, there was less of an excuse to get it wrong.

[JohnH]

I don't care if someone uses masculine or feminine pronouns to refer to myself. Just don't call me "Maggot" a term of endearment drill instructors use on their recruits.

John

[Bruce64]

I dress for me and you

[Maid_Marion]

Yes, these days clothes have no gender.
I can wear tight fitting clothes that don't hide my petite hourglass figure.

For a party last Sunday I picked between a shiny purple blouse and a red polo with pink dots.
Most women would pick the blouse, at it would hide any belly fat. But I have none, as my waist is now 23 inches.
The red polo has a collar, which what men are required to wear on golf courses with dress codes.
But, the tight fitting red shirt allows you to see that I have a high waist, above my belly button, which is more of a feminine look than having a low waist below the belly button.

I went with the red polo with pink dots, paired with a printed pink knee length skirt. As well as a pink hat in case the sun came out.

There are so many choices with women's fashion that I get to buy "my clothes"

Marion

[DanielleCD]

I dress to satisfy my feminine side. The feel of women's lingerie, a dress, makeup... it just feels right. If I don't spend time being with my feminine self, it creates a lot of stress and anxiety.

[Stacy Darling]

I dress because ? I'm me.

I could never dress as my woman of desire, my partner.

I just dress and have a free personality.

Some of us have that pic of who we would aspire to look like, for me it was Candy Darling. Probs due to a similar attitude and good legs

[Joanie CD]

I dress to feel good (mostly not the sexual/fetish sense). I very much enjoy my feminine side. Because I go out a lot, I try hard to dress like GGs in my area. This means a lot of capris, leggings, jeans, and the occasional skirt. More and more women are wearing skirts and dresses, which is fantastic. I wear skirts pretty often, but until I lose some more weight, I'm not happy with how I look in dresses. As much as I love pantyhose, like most of the girls on this site, I don't wear them out because I never see GGs wearing pantyhose. Tights are a different matter. In cool weather, I see a lot of skirts/dresses with tights. I also don't wear heels out, because I don't really see women over 30 (I'm 68) wearing them, except for special occations like weddings, theatre, etc.

Because I do love "dressed up" women, and grew up in the 60s, I do sometimes dress up with dresses, nude hose and heels. I find women dressed up (but not over-the-top) very attractive. I like to dress up and it feels "normal", but I don't take it to the streets. Yesterday I went shopping with two women friends, and I wore a cotton summer top, black denim capris, and Teva sandals. My friends wore T-shirts and capris with sneakers. We very much fit in at the outlet center. There were a couple of GGs in casual skirts or dresses, but noone was wearing hose or heels. I had a great time, btw, and bought a pink T-shirt-style top from Talbots and some great underwear on sale at Jockey :-).

[Heather76]

I have no idea why I dress. What I do know is 1) I thoroughly enjoy being fully dressed, 2) I thoroughly enjoy being only underdressed if that's the case, 3) I thoroughly enjoy having boobs even if they are completely fake. I cannot get enough of sitting around fully dressed as I am right now. Think about it. What could be better than being fully dressed and watching the U.S. Open (golf) on TV? Nothing and I am in my happy place.

[Deborah G]

What a great question! I have thought about this very topic many times. I dress as to what is attractive to me. I do not necessarily dress for someone else. Maybe this is counter-intuitive to what we think about attracting a mate? Never-the-less, I do it for me, not for someone else.

[OrdinaryAverageGuy]

Neither. The prettiest dress in the world will not make me a woman, and while my wife doesn't mind me dressing it's hardly something that attracts her to me. (Although she does like the easy access that my skirts offer!)

[Geena75]

OK -- how to over-complicate an answer. In terms of how I want to look, it's some of both. If I see a woman dressed really nice, it inspires me and I try to emulate that look. Given that I can't BE her, to BE WITH her would be nice. Once I achieved an acceptable Geena look, I go with what will nice given what I have to work with.

I've had regular comments at how drastically different Geena looks from my drab self, and I would have to agree. I have trouble myself reconciling the two -- I look in the mirror a lot just trying to believe it is me when I fully dress up. Sometimes when I see the chance to femme up I'm thinking "I get to see Geena today." In that line I suppose it is toward the BE WITH aspect of it.

As far as the Desire aspect of it -- I've never felt desired in male mode (despite evidence to the contrary), but I have been complimented and hit on in Geena mode. Go figure.

[countrygirl]

I am Amanda. I love wearing dresses. I am me.

[prene]

I dress to be the woman I can't be, but wish I could