Time to dress

[jennifer60]

How much time do people on this forum have to dress and go out in public. My wife does not know I crossdress and works from home mostly, she has to go into work 4-5 times a year which is the only time I can dress fully and go out. I have only been out dressed 1 time to get gas. She is retiring act the end of the year so that will be gone. What do others do?

[OrdinaryAverageGuy]

Not telling you you should, but have you considered telling her about your odd but harmless hobby?

[docrobbysherry]

When I still had my family living at home I used to dress out on business trips in hotel rooms.

Or, would carry a bag with all my gear into a restaurant rest room. Go in as a man, come out as a woman! Attend a T friendly event. Then, take everything off in the car before coming home!:battingeyelashes:

[jennifer60]

I mentioned dressing as woman for a party but it did not go over will

[Cheryl T]

I got tired of the hiding and came clean.
It was a risk I was willing to take for my sanity. I was one of the lucky ones and she was willing to talk, learn and try to understand.

[Lacey New]

Since we are both retired now, sometimes I have to wait for a couple of weeks before I can even put on my girly undies. It is what it is. But I encourage her to go shopping without me!

[Jillcder]

I think we could all benefit from doing what Cheryl did but dang it sounds easier than it is. Yup the only thing I dislike about retirement is not having the opportunity to Crossdress more often I know that sounds terribly selfish but as I age the urge definitely increases.

[SophiaRose]

Does she have any hobbies or likes to travel to see family for extended periods? Maybe these activities will pick up after she retires and give you some alone time.

[Michaela Jane]

I am unlucky enough to be widowed for almost 10 years. I hardly dressed when my wife was alive, only wearing panties under my normal male clothes. 10 years on, my clothes are mostly femme clothes that I can wear out without being overtly femme. When out in town, I wear womens jeans or shorts, unisex teeshirts or other femme tops that don't attract attention. Sports bras without forms work to keep the femme feeling going. I wear femme sneakers that also don't attract attention. At home, I can wear dresses, skirts or leggings all the time.

[CarlaWestin]

Since she doesn't know, you're already well versed in DADT. I can only relate to my own situation. I came out to my wife at about your age and it just didn't go well.
I take advantage of her sleeping in every morning and the few outside interests she has.

[Stephanie47]

As I have stated numerous times I retired before my wife retired, by many years. Although she did not work everyday, she worked 8:30 AM to 3:30 PM when she did work. That gave me a full day of Stephanie time to do domestic chores and relax, totally en femme. I did drop the makeup routine because it was too time consuming to apply and removed: Maybe lip coloring, but that was it. Outside the home opportunities came when my wife visited our daughter or a cousin, out of state for seven to ten days. That gave me, under the cover of darkness in the evening, to venture out for drives and strolls. With the exception of Halloweens I never felt the urge to go interact with fellow humans. When my wife fully retired, all that went away with the rare occasion when she stays over night at our daughter's place so she can entertain out grandchild.

[jennifer60]

She does not talk with her brother and our kid are not around much . We mainly have each other

[Helen_Highwater]

Jennifer.

I too was anxious about what would happen after we both retired. I finished about 18 months before my SO so had plenty of time to dress during that period. Yes, my dressing time reduced but my SO does have her own life and goes out to exercise class 4 out of 5 week days and off to her mothers on Saturdays. These give me windows of between 2 1/2 - 5 hours home alone. I couldn't have known that this would happen so my immediate advice is cross the bridge when you get there.

There's the posts of SO's going to stay with kids or relatives for a few days/weeks creating dressing opportunities. I did the reverse and took myself away from home for supposed week's walking holiday renting a house/cottage and being Helen for a week 24/7.

One thing I've learned is to be comfortable with basic dressing. Skirt/top/ underwear/forms san makeup and jewellery. Keeping it simple means speed in dressing/ undressing. No-one is going to see me so why worry about going the whole 9 yards. Becoming comfortable with being basic helps with the satisfaction levels. Not many GG's who are retired get up and go full makeup so why should I. Happy to be a plain Jane and not fret about being able to do all that I potentially could do.

[alwayshave]

I have my wife's adult daughter living with us, so I can't dress at home. I only dress when I go out. I get a hotel room, get dressed and head out.

[bridget thronton]

I came clean to my family several years ago - but will not likely go out dressed in public near my home (I have dressed on vacations)

[JesseVF]

Similar to Cheryl for me. Just got so frustrated with the situation had to come out to her about 3 years ago. Not a perfect situation now by any means but a lot better than i originally thought might happen.

[Marketa]

I live alone in anonymous block of flats, so I dress almost daily and I go out about every three to six weeks.

[Natalie5004]

I will be running into that in the next year or so. My wife knows that I dress up. How often? She does not know. I dress maybe 2 /3 times a week. I think I will have to negotiate a timeline we can both work with. I am pretty sure we will come to some agreement.

[JocelynJames]

Work is the big thing that slows my dressing roll. That being said, my wife knows , and I have dressed nearly fully( sometime no wig or makeup) nearly every day for 2 months. She knows I?m anxious for possible early retirement as I have told her one of my goals for them is to get out dressed as many days as possible when that happens. As of right now, I?m usually dressed the last 2 hours of my day, most days

[Natalie5004]

Nice work Jocelyn.

[Jessica Secret]

I'm closeted by choice so I don't go out but I can dress as much as I want at home (lingerie). I'm lucky that I have a great boyfriend who is always accepting, supportive and encouraging.

[Heather76]

My wife and I were married 36 years when I started cross dressing at age 74. It took me about 5 months to tell her. It was LIBERATING as I was no longer lying to her. She's not a fan, but is extremely tolerant of it. She pretty much said this is my home as well as her home and I can do whatever I want in my home. We rarely talk about my CDing even though she sees me dressed every evening and I sleep with a bra, forms, and nightie all in place. Her only initial concerns were to ask if I was gay or if I wanted to transition. Neither are the case. Her hard boundaries are family and friends are not to learn about this part of my life. Her soft boundary is she prefers not to see me in makeup and a wig. She's seen me with makeup and a wig maybe 4 times. I try to honor her wish in that respect, so I wait until she's gone to bed for the night before I throw on a wig and lipstick as well as other makeup. I do the wig and lipstick probably 6 nights/week and full makeup once every 2 weeks.

All this is said to suggest you may want to talk with your wife about your hobby. Like you, I've mentioned dressing as a woman for Halloween. The suggestion was not well taken so I didn't. But, with an honest, open discussion about this part of your life, you'll really be no worse off than you are now. Understand, you are lying to her by omission. If she refuses to accept your CDing, stay in the closet and don't tell her you're continuing on with it. You will still be lying to her, but at least you tried to bring it out in the open.

[Rachelakld]

my wife knows my hobby, borrows my clothes occasionally (and I borrow hers).
I like to get out about twice a week now, even if it's just for an hour at the shops.

Sometimes on the way home - a car change and a 30 minute coffee stop.
This is one of my 30 minute stops

346556

[Karren H]

Prior to retiring, my dressing was based on my business trips, day vacations locally and days my wife was not at home. It allowed me to dress about 5 to 8 times a month. After retirement that dropped to zero. Zero lasted a couple years until my wife and I agreed that we should sleep apart due to her heart condition which requires a lot of good sleep and my prostate issues which has me getting up every 3 hours or so. That arrangement now gives me from 10pm to 7am uninterrupted, daily, to dress and work in my breast exercises. Over the last 6 plus years she has not once invaded my alone time so even though separated by one floor, I can dress how I like which is amazing. I do miss going out enfemme but this works for me right now.