For Cross-Dressers: Would You Transition If You Could?

[april1978]

Hi everyone,

I?m reaching out with a question that?s deeply personal to me. I?ve identified as a cross-dresser for a long time, but the truth is? I?ve known since I was around 10 years old that it was always more than that. I just didn?t have the words, or the safety, to say it.

Recently, I cracked my egg. I told my wife. And I?ve admitted?to her and to myself?that if the path were clear, I would transition.

So I?m asking, from a place of genuine curiosity and zero judgment:
➡️ For those of you who consider yourselves cross-dressers and not trans?if there were no barriers (social, medical, financial, or family)? would you want to transition?
Or is your connection to femininity something else?expression, play, release, identity in its own right?

I?m trying to understand where I fit on this spectrum. Thank you for your honesty and openness?it really means something.

[Karren H]

1) I still don’t know what I am so I don’t know if I can answer the question or not.
B) Anyway, I probably would transition if I were younger. At this late stage of the game I don't feel it?s worth it an more.

[Kris Burton]

I am not interested in transition, never have even considered it. I believe that desire comes from a different mindset than I hold. For me the duplicity or perhaps fluidity of gender is a big part of the attraction. However, if I could fully and physically switch back and forth at will, that would be interesting!

[Connie D50]

My very short answer is yes. :)

[kimdl93]

I know this question was directed towards cross-dressers, but after decades of life experience and some contemplation, I honestly do not know if there is a line between cross dresser and transgender, nor which side of the line I am.

Like Karren, I feel like it?s very late in the game. That is speaking strictly for myself. I admire those who are less risk averse and willing to take on the challenges of transition at any stage in life.

[HelpMe,Rhonda]

When I thought I was 'just' a crossdresser I'd answer this with either 'yes' or 'if I could change back' and not relating to people who answered 'no' was one of many indications that I was more trans than I was allowing myself to ponder.

(when this egg crack happened here it didn't matter that the path wasn't clear)

[SaraLin]

April,
I consider myself more on the "trans" side than I do "CD" so I'm not sure if my opinion counts.
Here goes anyway:

There is another barrier that you didn't mention and it's the one that kept me from transitioning. That barrier is "physical."
My hands, Feet, and height (to name just a few) are things that no amount of surgery could correct.

Now, if it were possible for me to successfully and FULLY transition, then yes I would.
It's not, so I didn't

Your own posting has your answer, though. You told your wife that if you could, you would.
You sound rather like me - conflicted. You see the outer reality of your life but also know your inner sense of self.
The two just don't match, do they?
All you can do if decide for yourself what to do about it.

As for me, I chose the "easier" (and safer) route.
Most of the world only knows the male me. In the non-digital world, only those I love and trust even know about me as Sara. Even fewer have ever seen me fully femme.

[chrissy111]

According to my wife I could transition if I choose too. But as much as I've always wanted to be a girl, I'm very happy just living as I am.

[CarlaWestin]

I can certainly go with being happy living as I am. Your question might very well be would you subject yourself to major surgeries and a lifetime of pharmaceutical maintenance to go along with the crossdressing to present as female 24/7?

[Philippa Jane]

Hmm. A different mind set here.
I always just thought I was a crossdresser and that was probably down to a lack of information.
The constraints all fall around our age and our social standing.
Take those away and what is your answer now.
Crossdressing is an expression of your feminine side. Of loving the feel of certain clothes and for some it is a fetish. No judgement here.
Transitioning is so much more. It's not so much about hating your body but wanting the body you feel you should have had from birth.
That feeling when you are socialising with women that you are accepted as one of them.
It is never just the clothes it is more mental and that feeling of peace.
.

[Jenn A116]

At the risk of falling into the abyss of what to label people, I'd say no as a crossdresser. I enjoy dressing, but it's not how I live my life. Transitioning would dramatically change that.

[bridget thronton]

I am not a fan of surgery - so no for me

[Marketa]

Honestly I played with this question recently and as I am much happier en femme, especially with full make-up, I was thinking, what is the biggest obstacle and realized it's money.

You saw my photos and my build isn't particularly big and manly, I'm not that much afraid of surgeries and my life is built in a way I could do it without repercussions. I would just hope I would get some hips and I would hide my shoulders with long hair.

So yes, I would go for it without much doubts.

[CynthiaD]

Social transition, yes. (No surgery or HRT) I?m heading that way now. I could see HRT, but no surgery.

[JohnH]

For me to transition would be difficult as I have a deep voice. In the morning I can stand in front of a mirror and see a woman looking back. The I sing with my relaxed vocal cords and the sound of an oktavist comes out, thus shattering the illusion. In that state I could easily sing the second bass part of Rachmaninov's Vespers. I do not want to compromise my voice as I am the only singer in my church choir that can sing ledger line notes below the bass staff.

John

[Giselle(Oshawa)]

I recently turned 70 yrs old.
If we had the internet 55 years ago and had the information then that we have now
I think I might have bit the bullet and at the very least socially transitioned.
I would have never married( although my wife of 41 years is a great person and
has tried to understand my struggles)

[Georgina]

No. I am a man and I want to remain a man. I like wearing skirts and dresses and probably appreciate the clothes more as a man.

[CrossKimmy]

I absolutely would

[GracieRose]

In my mind, I'm transgender. No ifs, ands, or buts about it. I spent my life denying that fact. I knew that I was transgender since I was in kindergarten, but I was constantly told that I was wrong, so I spent my life mimicking what I was told to do to present as a male. At this point I have a wife, children, and grandchildren that I dearly love. I would love to transition (the answer to the prayer that as a child I often voiced at bedtime to let me wake up as a girl). However, I believe that the many people that feel the need to enforce a simple misguided gender binary and challenge the very idea that I am who I am would present a clear danger of harassment and possible physical harm to my loved ones if I transitioned. I think that I'd accept that risk myself, but I'm not willing to expose my loved ones to it. So I reconcile my life to enjoying being my true true self occasionally. One might see that as "merely" crossdressing. If societal expectations were to mature and reduce that risk to my loved ones, I think that I'd transition in a heartbeat. However, with less than 3 decades left in my life, I don't expect that to happen in my lifetime. In the mean time, I'll do what I can to help move society forward so that others in the future can be themselves without repression.
-peace
-Gracie

[alwayshave]

I am a crossdresser, ave have no need or desire to transition.

[Raychel]

Not for me for sure. I am totally happy where I am at.
I enjoy dressing, but that is the end of it for me.

[Meg]

Back in the sixties when I first heard of Dr. Renee Richards, I hope I spelled that correctly, it certainly came forefront in my mind. If times had been different back then, I probably would have. Society is more advanced now, but unfortunately for me, such a change is not in the cards for me now.

[Vikky]

I have often thought about this but being in my late 70s I don?t think its ever likely to happen.
However, I have undertaken several quite challenges for charity and vaguely thought about planning a year en femme to raise funds for an appropriate challenge.
The downside would be the possible media attention it might attract ? plusses and minuses.
And if it turned out I liked it, would I want to return to maledom.
Vikky

[Keremy]

Absolutely not. I love being a man and I love wearing dresses. If I could choose my wardrobe to fit me I would have a couple man outfits in my closet and the rest would be dresses and pretty things but stripped down I would still always be a man. Wish the wife would understand that:)

[HelpMe,Rhonda]

Supposedly only 20-25 percent of trans women get 'THE SURGERY', for various reasons.

I do have the 'lifetime of pharmaceutical maintenance' ahead of me, but nowhere near as many (presumably lifetime) meds as the cis person I married 20 some years ago. But yes, most trans women (somewhere from 70-90%) do that pharmaceutical maintenance.

And there are trans women who do either or both of those things that don't socially transition.

There's no 'there's only one way to be trans' rule that says you have to do all three.

[SophiaRose]

If it was all about "me" then yes, I wouldn't hesitate to transition. Fortunately, I have a family who loves me and being a father and husband is more important. I also don't believe I am a woman but have always wanted to be one because it feels more "right". This creates a-lot of internal conflict which makes me feel like I'm just fooling myself, or am not really "deserving". My wife says it's semantics. I'd like to believe she's right. I guess that's why it takes years for many of us to make this decision.

[siantv2003]

I've spent a couple of days thinking about this. Conclusion .. In a word .. No!
I am happy with who I am and enjoy being male. I also happen to enjoy wearing clothes of the opposite sex. I think that a part of the appeal is the duality of it, I like being able to switch between both side but I am overwhelmingly male

[Sabine Janus]

Nope. Never considered it.

[Michaela Jane]

Not at this late stage in my life. I have people that call me Dad living nearby, so I am generally happy to be Michaela at home on a daily basis, and wear androgynous femme clothes when I go out.

[Geena75]

I would say no. While it is interesting to dream of what it would be like to be 100% woman, the idea of irreversibly altering myself does not appeal to me. I really am happy to be the man that I am. I do enjoy making myself over into an attractive form (in my opinion), there is a satisfaction in waking up in the morning and seeing in the mirror what I will look like for the day without the necessity of shaving, makeup, wig, and jewelry.

[Maid_Marion]

As the extremely rare transgender with "passing privilege," I have no need right now for surgery or HRT. With diet, exercise, and possibly being Intersex, I have a 32A-23-34 hourglass figure with slightly long legs.
The big issue when I was married was that I could shop at VS but she couldn't. Nothing fit her. I now wear XS petite tops and bottoms and my sewing machines have been idle for years.

[NancySue]

Nope. Never crosses my mind. Just enjoy the fun and comfort of dressing.

[Stephanie47]

I nearly done with my eighth decade on this planet. As a child of the 1950's and 1960's I'd say, if asked back then, it would be a definite, No! Women were destined to be baby producers and subservient to men. It was a Man's World. If I was asked that question, as a young woman, there are many more opportunities to be equal and/or superior to men in the work force.

A counselor I saw for more than ten years was of the opinion that everyone has some dna in their chain of the opposite birth sex; in some it is more than others. I believe, under certain conditions, responses can lead to the male side being dominant or the female side taking over. I was a combat infantryman in Vietnam and had zero interest in sex or sexuality. I was only interested in staying alive. Later, when the effects of warfare started to take its toll, the feminine side took over and enabled me to escape into another personna. It may make perfect sense that many of my Vietnam friends ended up medicating with drug and alcohol, while I indulged in emulating a woman.

[Cheryl T]

I don't fit your category as although society has always placed me in the Crossdresser category in my mind it's always been much more.
Would I transition if all the barriers were gone, absolutely yes, but they are not so it's a moot point.

I always desired to be female. Unfortunately, when I was younger the support wasn't there and neither were the finances. Now that I'm much older it's the opposite. The support is everywhere and I have the financial ability to proceed. Life however has dealt a cruel hand in that with age has come medical issues that preclude safe surgical procedures of the extent needed to fulfill my lifelong dream. At this point I've decided to go on as I am and hope that the next life (if there is one) sees me live my dream.

[Taylor186]

I would not. Even on the rare occasion when dressing fully I know, at my core, I am happily male.

[OrdinaryAverageGuy]

In my opinion surgury and hormones are just Extreme Crossdressing. If a full and real transition were scientifically possible, as in I'd actually become a genetic female, then I'd consider it but probably not do it. If, as Kris mentioned, I could switch back and forth at will, oh hell yeah!

[AllieBellema]

I've been back and forth on this and I'd probably say... probably not. I feel somedays I have feminine feelings to where I do need to dress up, but those get to be rare for me sometimes. And, as much as I do enjoy wearing all my gowns and dresses whenever I get a chance to dress up... there's a part of me that wants to stay male. I think the thrill of dressing up would go away if I transition so staying male just keeps the excitement of dressing up.

I don't know... I feel like I'm rambling, but I guess the short and sweet answer would be... not really.

[kimdl93]

If I could? Absolutely!

[Renee_B]

I think I would!

[BLUE ORCHID]

I'm perfectly happy with having the best of Both worlds !

[Stiletto Gurl]

100% I would

[Jasmine23]

All barriers removed, no negative consequences from transitioning then yes I would, but, life isn't that simple, we also have to consider the impact on others in our lives; partners, kids, siblings, parents, friends etc., it's not just the person that transitions, but, so many people around them are also directly or indirectly affected.

[Christina89]

Social transition, yes. (No surgery or HRT) I?m heading that way now. I could see HRT, but no surgery.

I would probably do the same as Cynthia. If anything the only surgery I would get would be a breast augmentation. Other than that I would just social transition and dress en femme everyday.

[Judy-Somthing]

When I was in my teens I thought I would love to be a woman, and it obsessed me for years. I felt since I could never pass due to my big build I would be happy.
I felt that I needed to realize that being a man could be cool also.
I have to admit I love dressing UP!

[Natalie5004]

I think that I like one foot in both worlds.

[TheHiddenMe]

I'm not going to quibble about terminology (to me, being a crossdresser is in the Transgender spectrum), but I have known for a long time for me I just like the clothes, with zero gender issues, so no.

[Lacey New]

No, I would not try to transition. There are just too many things that I do and enjoy that are not typically ?feminine?. I just simply like to wear the clothes from time to time. I realized that for me it is more of a fetish than a lifestyle.

[Crissy 107]

No not at all, I do remember when I was 8 wanting to be a girl. Having a wife and family it would never work now.

[DianeT]

I don't identify as a woman so transitioning wouldn't make sense for me. Wishing to be a physical woman as a fantasy when I was young is as far as I ever went and it was in retrospect just a sexual thing, wanting to be the object of my desire to satisfy a need that only CDers can understand.

[Mercedes]

I would not transition. All I know is that there are times when I want to be truly feel feminine, and be seen and taken as a female, not as a male dressed as a female.

[Eleonore]

I would not transition. All I know is that there are times when I want to be truly feel feminine, and be seen and taken as a female, not as a male dressed as a female.

That's exactly how I feel. I would not transition, or at least surely not fully. However I started couple of years ago with full body laser (great excuse I practice Martial Arts), I am keeping my nails a bit longer than usual, and I would love to learn how to do a better job with make up.
In my fantasies yes, I think about transitioning, I identify as a male CD, I am not a built up macho but I am fit enough to look decent in a pair of leggings. What bothers me the most, is not the full transition or the " I look feminine enough", it's more about being lonely in my crossdressing. I would genuinely love to meet a sister that I could spend some quality time with, friendly time, not intimate.

[Natalie5004]

Have you tried going out to CD / Gay / Trans clubs? You might meet a like minded person there. There has to be a fairly large group in Houston. Maybe there is a CD Group that meets at a club once a month. There is one here in CA.

[jacques]

hello April,
I don't think I would. I am happy being a crossdresser. I would be happier if crossdressing could be accepted by the public.
However, if I was much younger I might be tempted.
luv J

[OrdinaryAverageGuy]

Eleonore, and everyone else, you don't need martial arts, or swimming, or cycling, or your porn career, or anything else to justify hair removal. I'm in construction in Florida, where I wear shorts and tank tops about 355 days a year. And I get full body wax. And no one notices, or cares, or at least mentions it. I've had literally 3 people in the last 15 years ask me about my body hair, and a quick answer of "yeah" ended 2 of the conversations. The other one, which was my best friend from HS, gave me a little crap about it until I told him "try it once, you'll never look back." (He shaved for the Big V and has kept it shaved ever since, I say it's the same thing)

[Jackson]

Im good with my crossdressing. I like both my Male and female sides. I also like my male parts very much. No, I dont ant to transition, just dress on occasion

[Richelle423]

Oh if I could take that magic pill and wake up the next morning as a woman I would take two just to be safe.

[CynthiaD]

Supposedly only 20-25 percent of trans women get 'THE SURGERY', for various reasons.

I do have the 'lifetime of pharmaceutical maintenance' ahead of me, but nowhere near as many (presumably lifetime) meds as the cis person I married 20 some years ago. But yes, most trans women (somewhere from 70-90%) do that pharmaceutical maintenance.

And there are trans women who do either or both of those things that don't socially transition.

There's no 'there's only one way to be trans' rule that says you have to do all three.

Thanks for the perspective.
Cindy

[Heather76]

I'm very conflicted with how I feel on this subject. Here is what I know. If there would be NO ill consequences (divorce, loss of friendships, relationship with my children & grandchildren) I would like to dress 24/7. Every time I put on a bra and forms, I wish I had my own DD cups instead of forms. But, I've never wanted to be a woman. I simply enjoy emulating a woman. So I guess I'm a MIAD who really, really, really enjoys playing "dress up."

Of course, as I approach 80 years on this earth, transitioning is out of the question. If I were 20, I might very well consider it.

[~Joanne~]

No. I am Happy as a part time girl. I can dress for a bit for a day then go right back to being male the rest of the time.

[Nyla F]

I identify as a crossdresser, and by my definition that means I wear clothes of the opposite gender but don?t identify as that gender. So I find the question a little puzzling. Why would I MTF transition if I don?t identify as a female?

[April Rose]

After a lifetime of widely varying circumstances, I seem to have landed on non-binary, and, though I haven't really declared it, I am comfortable enough there that I very much doubt I will go any farther. I am not sure if that means that I won't transition, or that I have transitioned.

I will say that if there were no social repercussions, real or imagined, I would probably wear dresses in public more often.

[Glenda58]

I've been cross dressing since I was 6. It wasn't until my wife passed that I was counseling that I discover I wasn't a crossdresser but trans. I have started HRT a year ago and now I will be taking the next step at the end of the month. And I'm not a spring chicken I'm 77. So, it's never to late if you are healthy.

[Aka_Donna]

It was fun to mentally play with the idea of transitioning, but being senior the risks of surgery and HRT and if I would really, I mean really be any better off, are just too much.

I am happy where I am and with dual identities of crossdresser and "normal man".

[sometimes_miss]

If I could magically become the pretty 14 y/o girl that I've felt like for the past 50 years, well sure. But if you mean transition into being a frumpy old 70 y/o lady, well, no thanks. Being an unattractive old man and being an unattractive old lady doesn't seem like much of a change. It's just easier to continue along the way I'm going already, no reason to have to learn all sorts of new things to adapt to becoming a woman. Besides, being a huge man, old or young, makes others think twice before confronting me about anything, and having lived the life of always being bullied when I was a kid, being left alone is a nice benefit of being huge and appearing potentially dangerous.

[Maid_Marion]

I have long salt and pepper hair but I haven't reached the age of invisibility that I hear older GGs complaining about.

[Celine 9]

I have thought about transitioning, however the cost of the procedures and the risks got in the way. If I was younger, than I would give it a try. But now I am 60, plans of transitioning are off the table. Therefore, I am fine of being a crossdresser.

[LelaK]

Yup. If it were socially and philosophically feasible.

[HollyGreene]

I have wished I was female since a very young age. However, I don't think I would transition at my age now.
As a teenager, I had a fairly androgynous looking face, so if the opportunity had arisen then, with hormone therapy I think I would have probably looked female.
But now it's a different story. I have to work really hard with makeup to look feminine and I'm not convinced that I'm always that successful.
And I would want natural breasts - not implants - so I think the odds of me being happy with the result of transitioning are low.
So I'll stick to what I do.

[Sabine7]

Almost everyday, I regret I don't have a female body. I desire curvy breasts and hips, female organs and long hairs. However, I don't consider transition as a way I should go. There are multiple reasons.

[Sherry Ann Evans]

A lot of "ifs" ... but yes. I'm 50 ... If I were 25 today? Absolutely.

I've posted on this forum about how lucky I am to have a supportive wife, and that remains 100% true ... I also have daydreams (and sometimes night ones!) about being a guy's girlfriend.

[Kayy]

Not for me, after years of anxiety about my cross dressing I?ve reached a state of equilibrium and I have a very supportive wife, so I?m happy with things just as they are. It?s a huge step to take, and for those who do I hope it works out for them.

[Celee]

For me it?s a hard no as I have cardiac issues. If I was younger and in full health it is something I might consider. The meds I take seem to encourage a little growth up top and not so much growth down below so I guess I should be content with that. Just take what life gives me and be happy.