Should I say? If so What should I say?

[Raven Skyy]

I have a question that I've pondered for a while. I see individuals presenting as women in public, not always the best presentation but none the less they are in public, when I don't have the courage to do the same. Yet when I see them at times, I wish I could go up to them and acknowledge them for their courage and tell them I'm proud of them for being so brave.
My question is while I'm dressed in DRAB (supposedly an intimidating man) what I could say to acknowledge and support a fellow member of the sisterhood. Or should I say nothing and just leave well enough alone which is what I've done but just feels wrong to me!

[kimdl93]

I would not say anything.

[Sandi Beech]

Yes I agree normally nothing, but if something catches your attention that you like, a simple oh I love your nails etc should go over well. Just be honest and sincere. It works with women quite well. Just pick and choose something that feels right. Do not over do it.

Sandi

[Sherry Ann Evans]

I agree, don't say anything blunt, however little compliments are wonderful!

I go out on a regular basis and pass pretty well. Once in a while, people have said things that they meant well, but it didn't land well with me. For example -- one time a genetic woman CROSSED THE STREET just to walk up to me and say, "You look so put-together!" ... in her mind she was being awesome, but all I could think was, "So you could tell from all the way across the street that I'm a crossdresser?" ... whereas another time, a genetic woman simply asked me for directions, I provided that, and then she kind of looked me up and down, paused for a second, and said, "You've really got it going on!" ... which was authentic and made me smile.

[laurajade]

There have been times, when I was in drab, that I would see someone presenting male but they had painted nails or women's jewelry or were even wearing a skirt. I always want to say something to them and usually do, something like "I like your look. I appreciate people who aren't afraid to be unique" and leave it at that.

As far as someone presenting female but perhaps easily read, I think I would simply pass by and nod and say "Good day, miss" and let that be enough.

[audreyinalbany]

nope...don't say anything...its one thing if a compliment is coming from a GG, but coming from a guy I think it'd just be creepy

[GaleWarning]

Whenever I served an obviously crossdressed member of the public, when I was working in the OpShop, I treated them with the same courtesy and respect I would to any other member of the public. It is my humble opinion that most members of our group do not need/want to be brought into any spotlight but are quite content to be allowed by all and sundry to simply go about the business of their lives in peace.

We need neither vindication nor vilification.

[Kayy]

I have seen a few cds out in public, but I’ve never said anything, because I think it draws attention to the fact that they’ve been seen as different.

[SaraLin]

My opinion, for what it's worth, is this:
If you meet someone presenting as a woman, treat her like a woman.

Simple, right?

[Crissy 107]

I think it depends on the situation, where they are and how many people around. Normally I have said nothing but one time I was walking my pup at the park, the park was empty when I got there, I saw a GG and a CD having a good time sort of dancing around in the field not far away. I went on my walk and when I came back I saw them sitting at a picnic table talking. I yelled Hey, the GG said What in a sort of defensive way. I said I just want to say you both look beautiful. The GG said, in a very nice tone, Thanks we really appreciate that.
I was happy to give the compliment and think they were happy I said it.

[OrdinaryAverageGuy]

I won't comment on a woman's clothes or nails or makeup, because it would only sound weird at best and creepy at worst. I wouldn't think a crossdresser who is trying to pass would want that comment any more than a woman. BUT if it's a guy in a skirt, or with painted nails, or whatever, but obviously not trying to fool anyone, then I would think something like "love that look, wish I had the guts" would be appreciated? At least I would appreciate something like that if I was brave enough to go public in a skirt.

[Raychel]

For me it would hugely depend on the situation.
I have commented to women that I like their dress or outfit.
But keep it very neutral. Enough to let the know that I noticed their outfit
and think she look very nice.

If I saw a crossdresser, I would address this the same. If they had an outfit on that I truly liked, I would comment on that
but that would be about it. I think most crossdressers in the wild are hoping to pass. If you say anything to give them the
thought that you know they are a crossdresser, it may take the wind out of their sails.

If a conversation did start, and they let on they were a crossdresser, then you could go on to where did you get it.
I would love to have one like it. or I wish I had the guts to go out dressed.

Of course it would all depend on the situation for sure.

[CarlaWestin]

I've gotten some very nice yet subtle knowing looks of approval from women while out in various iterations of Carla.
If from a male I would feel that the same may be adversarial and trigger a pre-defensive posture.

[sweetdreams]

I think a good guide is ask yourself "if this was an attractive woman I'm looking at, what would I say to her"? Usually nothing. If anything I might say something like "hi, how's your day going" or "hi, how are you".

There were a couple of Halloween outings where we (wife and I) were in a not so crowded bar and on a couple of different times different guys walked by our table and gave me the two thumbs up sign, and kept on walking. To me this meant "good for you" and maybe even "I wish I had the courage to do that". I was perfectly fine with this level of acknowledgement.

One time when I volunteered at a Pride event for the day (fully made up), a couple of drag queens were walking past us (me and a gg). One came over, gave us both a kiss on the cheek, and kept on walking. A little different because it was a drag queen, but it was a nice acknowledgement. The gg was tickled pink as well.

[Stephanie47]

I'm in the don't say anything column. There are times when I nod my head to a person if there is some element of commonality as we pass each other, like both of us are wearing military veteran's baseball caps or graphic tee shirt of the Vietnam War. I suppose, if you consider the fact that you recognize them as a male wearing female clothing, it may burst their bubble, so to speak.

[audreyinalbany]

So a couple months ago I was in an antiques shop en femme and one of the sales associates said she loved my shoes (Strappy platform, 3 inch heel) and we chatted a few minutes about where I got them & how much $$$, cause she wanted to find some. Ten minutes later, I checked in at the restaurant where I Had a reservation and the hostess immediately commented on how much she liked my shoes !! That was pretty cool to have two compliments in a row.If it had come from a guy I would've RUN AWAY as fast as possible.

[Cheryl T]

Say nothing and admire their courage from afar.

When I am presenting as a woman the last thing I wish for is to be "read" and if I am I certainly do not want to be told that I was "read".

[docrobbysherry]

How do u react to strangers now? Trans wish to be treated like everyone else for the most part. So, respect that and treat them that way!:thumbsup: