What if that is all it is about?

[Aka_Donna]

Having been here forever, some things get locked in. And lately wondering if that is a clue?

What are recurring themes?
-- Pretty: i feel, dressed, you look..etc
-- Why: don't know, just is
-- rejects: ugly attire, gross images, female cat fights and back biting which is more intense than male conflicts.
-- gender: look, feel, glamour like woman, i.e., maybe I want to be a woman.

So what if it's not at all about being femine but really the core is don't feel like look good as male and want to feel pretty?
What's if it's all just about body image and dressing allows a real sense of feeling pretty?

Food for thought. Give it a good ponder before replying.

[Jodi79]

I will fully admit - i love the feeling of feeling pretty. I know i actually look awful but it's how i feel. Like a post said not to long ago - it's also texture. I love the texture. I love to feel pretty.

[CharlotteCD]

There are a plenty of people who discover they are trans when the reality from the outside is that you can see they are just depressed, dealing with trauma and mental issues which they temporarily escape from when they become their female alter ego and endorphins take over.

[alwayshave]

I am with Jodi, I like to feel pretty.

[CarlaWestin]

I've always been self conscious about body image as I've dealt with a bit of deformation from birth defects. But, I'm not an unattractive male.
I do enjoy the fem experience immensely. Especially when I get the OMG effect from the mirror.

[SaraLin]

For me? Um,no.

If I had the choice, I'd rather be a "plain Jane" woman than a good looking (pretty) man.
It's less about the look than it is about the "rightness" of how it feels.

But that's just me. I can't speak for anyone else.

[Traci H]

I guess I have to refer to my tagline.

The ability of a female to transform herself from blah to beautiful is a much larger range than men have normally. Beyond clothes and hair styling, men are limited. Women of course have clothing and much more of it, then hair as styling it and again more options. Then jewelry and adornments. And finally and most important, makeup. We have all seen the transformations of woman before and after makeup. Amazing. Women just have a wider range of pretty, and I like taking advantage of it.

[Cheryl T]

Of course we enjoy feeling pretty.
That's certainly a part of all this, but I'm certain it's not the end all and be all.

[Stephanie47]

When I was a young male I was six foot one, 175 pounds with a full head of blond hair. At 78, things have changed, although several doctors have said I am a "remarkably" healthy person for my age. Checking myself against my peers I'd have to say that's true, although the male pattern baldness is an non-starter. Overall I do look good as a male. The clothes I wear have always been on the colorful side. As I have stated many times I wore dress shirts of various colors with expressive ties during my professional days. I enjoy growing flowers. For me, it's colors and patterns. I know anyone looking at me will see a "man-in-a-dress," so I stay away from full length mirrors at home. Also, the eyes see what the minds sees.

I don't know what "feeling feminine" is suppose to be because I am not a genetic woman. As a human I feel the same whether in male of female attire.

[chrissy111]

For me it just feels right.

[DianeT]

When dressing I like to look good, not pretty. My aim for a woman look isn't to be a dainty thing. It's about being alluring and confident, because this is my canonical vision of a woman. Again, it's just an aim, and the arrow often hits a bit off the target. Practiss practiss practiss my precioussss.

-- EDIT --
This pictures give an idea how I feel when dressed (no, I don't own an attire like this. But I'd love to!).
346864

[kayegirl]

I'm with DianeT on this. I also like to look good, not necessarily pretty, or dainty, but confident, and I hope to a degree elegant. And yes the picture portrays the image, if not the reallity.

[ilisa]

This is an interesting question, and the answers, if you were to hear them all, would be as individual and personal as the people giving them. So I read your question last night, and I must admit I'm barely closer to giving an answer.

For me, during my earliest years my father was a travelling salesman and was away from home quite a bit, leaving me to be raised my mother. So my primary adult role model was my mother, a woman. One of my earliest memories was when I was 4 and mom was getting ready to go somewhere, perhaps the grocery, and I was watching her apply lipstick. I remember asking her if I could also wear lipstick, upon which she replied "no". When turning 9 or 10 I tried on one of her half slips. It was a beautiful half slip, and I still remember what it looked like. After that there was no turning back.

So, what is my motivation? While I do like my masculine self (and that will never change), somewhere deep down there is a connection made between who I am and femininity. While I have no chance of ever passing, there is something comforting about wearing women's clothes. Its like returning home.

[docrobbysherry]

U nailed me, Donna!:heehee:

I was never attractive as a man. Why I did well with pretty women has always mystified me!?:eek:
However, I enjoy that at age 80+. I can go anywhere and no one notices the skinny old guy!:)

But, as a female I like to look attractive. Hot even!:daydreaming:
I find getting hit on validating when I'm out and online!:o
If I tried to hang out with young women at clubs as a creepy old man? I would NOT enjoy it as much I do dressed!:doh:

Finally, it is my opinion that if every dresser wanted to look pretty badly enuff? They would!:battingeyelashes:

[Heather76]

I don't know that I ever feel pretty because.....well, because I'm not pretty. What I feel is a great sense of calmness. I dress every evening between 4 pm and 9 pm. That means bra, forms, nylons, bracelets, mascara, and a dress. About 11 pm (after my wife has gone to bed) on goes lipstick, earrings, and a wig. Those come off when I go to bed between midnight and 2 am. The dress also comes off and on goes a nighty. About once/week I include makeup. About every 3 weeks I put on press-on nails. I know I am a MIAD and I'm fine with that. I do have the opportunities to get out in public just a few times a year. When I do that, I try to fly under the radar and simply blend in. Probably the best thing I have going when I try to blend is most people don't pay much attention to 80 year old women which is pretty much what I look like.

[ilisa]

I don't know that I ever feel pretty because.....well, because I'm not pretty. What I feel is a great sense of calmness.

They say brevity is the soul of wit, and you nailed it. Couldn't agree more.

[Helen_Highwater]

The thing is, so many of us report being drawn to female clothing from a very young age which would suggest a far deeper driver for our dressing.

Feel, texture, could all be by-products of that deeper desire. Little unexpected wins along the way. And I'm with Chrissy, for me it just feels right. Plus I've given up analysing the whys. I've followed the advice of others and accepted it's who I am. If I were to seek a psychologist I somehow doubt that there would be that light on moment, the, " Oh that's why I do it" revelation that would lead to knowing means stopping.

[JenninSC]

It took me a long time to get to where you are. I started dressing as a teenager and have ever since. I spent years in therapy and thousands of dollars only to come to the conclusion that there is no "why". It's just this is the way I am. It's not the result of any psychological issues at all. It's no different than having brown eyes or being right handed. That being said, I couldn't stop and wouldn't want to.

[JulieC]

Helen, that's an interesting comment about "knowing means stopping". I think for me getting an understanding might have an impact, but I can't imagine it causing me to stop. At this point in my life, I certainly wouldn't want it to stop. I like being a crossdresser, and enjoy it too much to ever want to stop even if I could. So, if someone said "Here, take this pill and you'll never desire to crossdress again" I'd pass. Had it been offered to me when I was ~20, I'd have taken it. Not now.