I Think She Thought I Was Wearing a Bra

[JackieD85]

Im 99% sure that Crystal, a waitress at a nearby bar/restaurant, recently thought that I was wearing a bra (I wasnt).

Crystal, who recently had a boob job, apparently was staring at my breasts (which I thought were hidden well under my XL shirt). I have real breasts (size 40B). This was in the morning and there werent many people there.

She walked over, never said a word (the first time thats ever happened), and touched the middle of my back before quietly walking out.

Crystal didnt pat me on the shoulder or the arm like most people would have done.

She touched the middle of the back like someone would do to put a kick me sign, but there was no sign. I'm 99% positive that she touched the middle of my back to see if she could feel the hooks in the back of a bra.

I wasnt wearing a bra. When I looked down the front of my shirt, I thought maybe I shouldnt wear this shirt anymore.

Since then, Ive seen her many times and its like it has always been. She talks to me like nothing happened.

In the back of her mind, shes probably wondering how I have breasts.

[Crissy 107]

Have you worn a bra there before?

[JackieD85]

No. Ive only worn bras at home.

[Philippa Jane]

In my earlier days of underdressing I took a friend to the airport. She was a member here at the time.
When we parted she gave me a hug and was so surprised when she felt my bra that she spoke loud enough to out me.
"You're wearing a bra"
"Shh we don't need the world to know".
That was very clever of the waitress to check you out.

[AmyJordan]

I remember before Rascal my SIL was introduced to Amy she was convinced she knew that I was my wifes sissy and made it her lifes work to catch me and she would often give me a huge hug whilst running her hands up my back and legs hoping to feel a bra or suspender clip.

Amy x

[Jillcder]

Sounds like its time to give her something to feel strap on that bra and give those girls some support.

[Stephanie47]

I read your previous posts concerning your hormone issue and breast development. I think she was probably thinking your were wearing a bra with padding. There is no reason for any waitstaff person to touch any patron with or without engaging in conversation. Even with conversation it would not be appropriate but I do realize there are some who are more "touchy-feely" than others. If she does it again, open a conversation. I bet she would be embarrassed.

[Natalie5004]

Well maybe you should be wearing a bra with boobs like that. We don't want you to be bouncing them around.

[JohnH]

Of course I wear a bra out in public, as my bra size is 40 DD with no filler.
Strictly speaking, I feel the waitress, Crystal, was being intrusive for feeling your back. But, in your case, Jackie, I guess you thought it was funny.

John

[DianeT]

Crystal seems very, very, very friendly with her customers.

[docrobbysherry]

Jackie, I guess the question is: Do u want to discuss this with her or keep her guessing?:heehee:

[JackieD85]

Thanks, girls, for your responses. I always appreciate the people that are kind.

Over time, Ive gotten better at accepting peoples reactions. Years ago, I would get stares (especially walking down stairs braless) or on occasion a female would hug me and I could tell that she was feeling for bra straps.

All those times I was braless. When I got home, I would sit at the edge of my bed in tears because I knew I was different. I also knew that this was my future.

There was a medical exam (I forget what it was, but not a mammogram) where the female employee asked me to turn to my left side. When she eventually saw my breasts, her eyes became as big as saucers.

My physician (who knows about Jackie and that (at a minimum) I wear a bra and panties on my feminine body at home) is very supportive and easy to talk to. She has me go for mammograms.

When I first started going for mammograms, I was more concerned about how I would be treated than if I had cancer. Fortunately, the ladies were always very kind and Im thankful that the test results have always been good.

[ilisa]

Hi Jackie,

A 40B basically falls under the gynecomastia category and, in my opinion, really isn't that extraordinary. Thats what, a 2 inch difference between the band and the bust? Unless you have some real pointers going on it shouldn't warrant a waitress feeling your back to see what you're wearing. Even if you were, I wouldn't think it it should matter that much should it? Of course if you're in a small town... If you're not married and she's an appropriate age, then ask her out. She might dig a guy with a bra. :)

[JoyceAnn]

Hi Jackie, I'm sorry that your experiences with people's reactions years ago were unpleasant. I'm glad that you have found people who are kind and accepting, and that the test results have been good news.

[JackieD85]

Thanks, JoyceAnn. I really appreciate your nice post.

[NancySue]

So what if she did? Do what you want. I?m almost a 42b and wear my favorite Bali underwire bra every day. It?s more important to me how I feel than worrying about being ?checked out?. Recently, I had almost the same experience. Our favorite waitress touched my shoulder. I?m fairly sure she felt my bra strap. She just smiled. Nothing said.

[alwayshave]

Jackie, I actually find the waitress touching you very inappropriate. Imagine if the rolls were reversed.

[CynthiaD]

I’ve been felt up in the back several times by TSA agents at various airports. They definitely knew I was wearing a bra.

Wear the bra and be proud, ladies.

[OrdinaryAverageGuy]

If a waitress touches me in any way, well, her tip gets a little bigger. Why would anyone be offended by a touch? I love friendly human contact!

I agree on wearing the bra next time. I've fantasized about having breasts big enough to warrant a bra, I'm jealous.

[Liz Jones]

Hi,
I wear a 46 B ( & fill it ) according to some medical people breasts get larger in old age ---- At last a benefit:) of old age !:)

[Rachel05]

A couple of years ago now, I was out shopping in a supermarket, fully underdressed with a nice bra and only a tee shirt, I had checked in the mirror as I always do and I thought I looked respectable, this is something I do very regular

Anyway this particualr day, I saw a female friend of mine that I haven't seen for a very long time, we used to be close when we were in our 20's but drifted apart after families and the like, we chatted and asked about our respective families as you do, it really was lovely to see her and we said we would hook up on Facebook (which we have), as we finished up and said our goodbyes, she came closer and gave me a really big hug, her hand on my back could not have been any more on my bra strap if she had planned it, we hugged for a decent time, she even rubbed her hand up and down a little, we came apart and she said absolutely nothing then or ever since as far as I know

She is a really good friend of one of my other girlfriends, me and the other girlfriend meet regular for something to eat and a catch up, she has never mentioned it either and she would if she knew, one of the risks we run if we want to shop pretty, but it hasn't stopped me

[Deborah G]

I would take it as a compliment, if I was touched in this manner! I try my best to pass, taking into account the situation. YES, next time, a BIGGER tip if she expresses herself this way!

[ShelbyDawn]

I'm in the same boat and have gotten to the point I just don't care. I think the support a bra gives my girls looks better than the saggy man boobs I have without, so I wear one all the time, unless I'm going shirtless. There are plenty that give support without enhancement, and my current favorites, are Victoria Secret pushups, that add a single size. They still don't look much different under the shirts I wear.

If you had been wearing a bra and she had found out, what would have happened? Would she have stopped serving you? Would she maybe have asked a question giving you a chance to talk to someone about it and maybe gain some validation? From your last comments, I'm betting not much, and nothing bad.

It's happened to me. My waitress at the sports bar I go to has a trans sister and knows what to look for, she got in the habit of looking down my shirt and commenting on whether or not my bra was lace or not. I started leaving it unbuttoned an extra button when she waited on me just so she could see. Others may have, too. So what? Nobody ever said anything or acted ill towards me. It was very validating to have someone know and not care, or better yet, listen when you talk about it, and without judgement.

We get so self conscious thinking people actually care what we do, that we often shackle ourselves to those false concerns. If people thought about others as much as we, especially us crossdressers, think they do, the world would stop.

[Bruce64]

Maybe next time you should wear one and feel the trill

[CarlaWestin]

The quiet drive by approach is a bit out of sync. Maybe a conversation about her recent enhancement could segway into your personal challenges.
Or even a bra conversation.