Telling my therapist

[Sasha_inside]

So, this coming week my therapist wants to talk about ways I relieve my stress.
She and I have a good rapport with each other but I'm trying to figure out the best way to tell her about my dressing.
Just say, oh btw, or I do have something I do that helps me that I've done since I was 10/11.

Has anyone else told their therapist, and if so - how did you do it?

Thoughts, ideas, warnings (ha)?

[susan jackson]

If you have any photos of yourself, that would be a good thing to show your therapist

[Philippa Jane]

Sasha.
You say you have a good rapport with your therapist. I don't see that you should have any problem telling her. The only thing holding you back is you.
Therapist have heard it all before. Please don't think you should be embarrassed.
Anything you say in therapy is privileged.
I do remember the first time I spoke to a psychologist and said I dressed in women's clothes. At that time I was distinctly DRAB and I did feel uncomfortable. But I was there for help and not opening up was not going to achieve anything.
You are not doing anything wrong just different.
Good luck.

[Jillcder]

Well since you two have a good relationship maybe show up dressed as Sasha. If and when I see a therapist I plan on doing it dressed my biggest reason for going would be to discuss my dressing and how to navigate this with my wife.

[SophiaRose]

It's pretty low risk telling a therapist anything so I wouldn't over think it. What ever is most comfortable will make it easier. Once the ice is broken it will probably feel sooo relieving. On my therapy intake form I said I wanted to work on a few things...one of which was my CDing. I didn't have to say anything face to face and once I hit "send" there was no turning back. Scary, but felt good. So maybe a letter would work if you feel stressed and want to avoid that awkward part of coming out. It's great that you have a good rapport. If you didn't, you might consider finding a different therapist. That connection is really important to make progress.

[JohnH]

Health care professionals see everything, so if you show up wearing a dress it's no big deal. I go to doctor appointments wearing dresses and I'm always treated with respect.

John

[kimdl93]

Back when I started seeing a psychologist, I knew i would have to address the subject, but I put it off for about three weeks. I was scared to death. When I finally said I am a cross dresser, she simply smiled and remarked, “Its not a crime, you know.”

She tried her best to help me accept that and other realities of life.

[Di]

Please tell your therapist.
No point in going if you don’t
It’s nothing to be ashamed of stop acting like it is.
And noooo don’t show up dressed why put that stress on yourself.
I don’t think ( did not look) that you live your life going out dressed alot when you are asking about telling her.
Save that for later if that is what you want to do .
But please be real and please tell her it will help you.

[Charlyne]

I told my doctor “I like to wear a dress sometimes”.

[Sasha_inside]

Thank you everyone.
I appreciate everything everyone has said. Funny thing is, I told my wife when we were dating, told my GP when I started going to her to alleviate the surprise during a physical, no problem. I walk into shops and talk about clothes with the SA's without even blinking.

But for some reason I am drawing a blank when I think about how to tell the therapist. I'm not scared, not nervous, just am drawing a complete blank.

[Rhonda Jean]

When I started seeing a therapist she already knew from my wife. We were in the beginnings of divorce. Best thing I did was write a LONG email that hit most of the high points from when I was a kid. The whole therapy experience was very good, very cathartic for me. I never thought I see one, but at that time I was doing twice a week, and I couldn't wait for the next one.

The only way you're going to get the maximum out of it is to open up. For me, the therapy was more in the opening up than it was in whatever she told me. You're going to therapy for a reason. You should open up.

[Sasha_inside]

Haven't done an email, but I did write out a list of the trauma's including the near deaths I've had, the most recent of which is what led me to therapy.

Going through all of those I had no problem with, I dunno. Guess I'm just a riddle wrapped in an enigma to borrow from Churchill.

[audreyinalbany]

you're WAYYYYY overthinking it. Just tell her. She will be neither surprised nor judgmental. and if she is, find a new therapist

[Sasha_inside]

You're probably right Audrey - just haven't ever hit a hard stop like this before.

[Rhonda Jean]

I agree that you're overthinking it. Maybe start by asking your therapist what to do when you hit a hard stop. I'm I'm any example, once you start, you'll say things you never thought you tell another person. Again for me, those things needed to come out.

[VS Fan]

If you’re seeing a therapist I think it is only going to help you in the long term if she knows everything. Who knows where the conversation can turn and what you can uncover. I say go for it!

[Sasha_inside]

Thanks everyone, I really appreciate the encouragement and insight.

[JesseVF]

My first words to mine were about being a cd. However I could see it would be harder to bring it up after you have already been seeing her a while. Nevertheless I would hope you do. It?s very helpful to be able to discuss these issues in an accepting environment. I did not dress at first but did so pretty soon after starting. Both of mine were totaling encouraging about it.

[JulieC]

I agree with Jillcder and JohnH (but disagree with Di! Sorry!)...go dressed. It's not an opportunistic thing, but a reveal all of you thing. That leads into what many have said. Be an open book. If you're going to a therapist to help figure things out, you can't do that by hiding any aspect of yourself. You've got to lay it all out there. As others said; if your therapist responds in a way that doesn't feel comfortable to you, find another therapist.

[docrobbysherry]

Me: I need to talk with u about my crossdressing.

Therapist (Jane): Ok, why?

Me: Don't u think it's weird?

Jane: No, did u think I would? Why? It has no effect on me. Is it causing u problems?

Me: U don't think I man dressing up as a woman is strange?

Jane: On a weirdness scale of 1 to 10 personal things folks have told me I'd say it's a 1. Let's just discuss the problems dressing is causing u.

Me: Well, no one knows except u. So, none yet.

Jane: Since I know u have problems with your wife, (now ex), and other issues why don't we talk about those? Then, discuss CDing again when it's causing problems for u?

Totally agree with Di. Why do u think a responsible therapist wants to see u dressed? If they do? U need a new counselor!:thumbsdn:
If u need to flash someone and decide your therapist is the one? They and I want to know why? And, not the guy at the gas station or some SA or waitress?:devil:

[Sasha_inside]

That's part of why I'm stumped, it's not causing me any problems, so why am I apprehensive.

[Jenn A116]

Got to agree with most of the PPs that sharing your CDing with your therapist is something you should do. No matter if you don't think it's causing you any problems, or related to why you are seeing a therapist, you should let the professional in on the whole picture. It can only help.

[Sasha_inside]

I'm going to tell her, and have been walking through how all day, and will probably do it again tomorrow.

I'm really looking forward to actually having the conversation itself, it's just the how to start it I guess.

I'm at "You wanted to talk about some of the things I do to de-stress and relax, well one of my main ones is that I crossdress" and then go from there.

Rip the band aid and roll it, appointment is on Tuesday, so I have another day to make a plan.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Sasha, She was very understanding,

[Alaina R]

Tell her you have something important to tell her that is stressful. Then tell her but include the fact that it was really hard for you to do so which in of itself may open a whole line of discussion. Honestly, it's kind of waste of time and money to have a therapist and keep this from her.

[CarlaWestin]

That's part of why I'm stumped, it's not causing me any problems, so why am I apprehensive.

I believe it should be the first thing to tell a therapist. It establishes that you have a personal sanctuary of security and pleasure in the usual mundane daily life.
Haven't dealt with a therapist in 50 years as mine thought the CD thing was excess baggage. I beg to differ as I count it as a blessing.

[Marketa]

Sasha, tell her. Doctors are professionals and they want to help you, but for that they need to know the truth. Or if it's hard for you to say it and have a photo of you dressed, then tell her "I'm looking x% of time like this" and show her the photo. That's how I did it with both, my psychologist (1st session) and psychiatrist (2nd session). I downloaded my best photos into my tablet and I showed them.

Of course they ask for some details like how and why did you start, how do you feel, is it sexual etc., but not because of some fetish, but they need to know what they are dealing with.
And if the psychologist is good, you won't feel bad. Embarrassed from the beginning - absolutely. Bad - not at all.

[Fiona_44]

If your therapist is going to treat you properly, she needs to know about all of you. Bring a pic of you dressed and just talk about how dressing relieves your stress. You'll be glad you did. I see my therapist all the time dressed as a woman. She supports me 100%.

[April Rose]

I read an article recently where a psychiatrist said that he paid particular attention to the third thing his client raised as an issue. Perhaps this is your third thing? Maybe think about why you started therapy in the first place.

[Sasha_inside]

So, had my session, it went well.
About half way through the session we started talking about ways I relaxed, what put me in a peaceful state of mind. I told her I have 3 or 4 but the one I did the most that helps was crossdressing.
That led to a series of questions and lots of laughs. Once I started talking it was like a flood gate opened up.
She told me that I would be surprised, given the area we live in, at the number of people in this area that dress to a degree.
Said we would discuss it more next week.

[VS Fan]

Sasha - so glad this went well! It’s so much easier and better when they know everything!

[JoyceAnn]

Sasha, I'm glad you figured out a way to tell her and that your session went well. It does help a lot to talk about it. The great thing is that the office is a safe space. I hope your future sessions are just as positive!

[Di]

I’m so proud of you .
You will be so glad you can be open and honest.

[Sasha_inside]

Thanks again everyone.