Just a bad week

[Maria 60]

Reading here some advancements for us I want to believe there is hope, but this week I seen some people's true colours.
I have a crew of about 30 guys and when they are hired and added to my crew my number one rule is if you want to get along with me we don't talk politics or religion and we try to all get along and that's why I love this community because it stands for the same.
I'm going to try to be discreet here but what happened last week with an assassination opened up a can of worms, for some reason people live in a delusional world and believe gender issues are not political but they are. Well at work we talk about sports and daily events and the topic came up and for most they were excepting with the gay people but showed there disgust in men wearing dresses. When they seen I was on defence they asked me why I was so protecting of these sick people. I told them whatever a person does has nothing to do with me, it doesn't effect my life. I used an example if they walk in a mall and see a crossdresser does this ruin there day, if they go to there car and have a flat tire do they blame the crossdresser or they go on there bank app and there investments are down, do they blame because they seen the crossdresser. I told them I hand picked each and every one of them to be on my team because I seen they were young and I want to learn from them, as much as I hate technology I try and except this because this is the way it is going, so why can't they expect change. I told them Iam by far the oldest person here but I feel like being with them I'm the youngest and feel like I'm with grumpy, crusty old men who are scared of change and it's like I'm talking to my 99 year old grandfather. I told them I would respect them all the same either wearing a suit or jeans or a dress because I don't judge by the clothes they wear or what they believe in and that I judge by what's inside the person. I left it at that but the next day wasn't any better. I go and get my hair cut and I wrote numerous times about my hairdresser who is obsessed with why my earlobes are the way they are. During the hair cut she called her daughter to show her my ears again and the daughter told her maybe I have a kinky relationship with my wife and we like to cross play. My hair dresser is in her late seventies and maybe a little naive compared to her daughter but she told me if she ever seen any piece of women's article on me that I wasn't welcomed there anymore. I told her after twenty five years of loyalty coming to her and not to mention all the help I did for her and her husband and repairing her pool she would just drop me like that, she told me "in a heart beat". That hurt
It doesn't end there, my nephew graduated from university and got an amazing job at at top firm and my sister in law had a small party for him. His before dinner speech included thanking me for all my help, when everyone else gave up on him I made the time away from my family and work to bring him to rehab and get him help and presented me with a beautiful Tag watch. That moment was beautiful but then half an hour later the same last week topic came up and I hear him talk to his buddies that men wanting to dress like women are mentally ill and should get help and a menace to our society. I guess I didn't deserve that watch I didn't do a very good job as I thought. More hurt.
Without realizing it I was getting angry building inside, we were at a store and I need a pair of fem slipper and when the cashier was ringing everything in when it came to the size ten slippers she looked at my wife and then looked up at me. I guess the build up came out and I kind of snapped at her and told her "yes there mine is there a problem with that" I felt bad because she just nodded her head and said no and put her head down. I should've have blamed her but I really thought things were starting to change but what happened last week really did bring out people's true colours and we are never going to escape these crusty, crabby old views. Just a bad week. Sorry I had to vent and hopefully a better week is coming.

[Traci H]

Maria, I normally enjoy your escapades, usually bringing laughter or a smile. Today, not so much. We all want to think things are changing, and maybe they are. But your experience shows we still have a long way to go.

I can understand how all this would get you down. Your hairdresser especially would make me sad. All we can do is move forward and try our best, as you have done.

[kimdl93]

I am hoping for better times.

[JocelynJames]

I?ve seen similar. People that I consider friends and vise versa point out how they think the new guy is TG but they have a really convincing beard. I was recently in Ogunquit , Maine and it warmed my heart to see so many living their lives the way they want, wearing whatever, being with whomever. As modern as we are it seems we?re stuck in our ways( some of us)

[Aka_Donna]

Aren't the ebb's and flows of life "fun"? Remember most people want to feel connected so they will say things that go along with the current media focus. Few stop and examine their thoughts. For years it has been pushed how cool and trendy it was to explore lifestyle alternatives. Now the focus has changed and it is easier for them to criticize alternatives. Since you are not out to them, they are just trying to be part of herd and don't realize the impact of their words. It maybe easier to focus this coming week on tuning up your coping methods and maybe discuss with your wife how she deals with this type of push back.

[JoyceAnn]

Maria, I'm sorry to hear about your recent uncomfortable experiences. It's especially tough when such events happen so closely together in time. Hoping that this was just one bad week and that things get better soon.

[JulieC]

Maria, it's not much consolation, but these things go in pendulum swings. Right now, it's very anti. But, it's less anti than it was...say...50 years ago. 50 years ago was less anti than it was 100+ years ago when you could potentially be thrown in prison for crossdressing. Things are improving. Sometimes they are improving at a glacial pace. Right now, the world's gotten pretty scary to be a crossdresser in public. But, progress is being made, if slowly. The pendulum will swing again.

For my part, I'd ditch the hairdresser. That's an easy one. I wouldn't do it in a way to be mean to her, but I'd lay it out like "Knowing you'd drop me in a heartbeat if you thought I was transgender makes me feel there's enough hate in the world today that I don't need to have your services. Thank you for all the years. Goodbye."

[docrobbysherry]

We r not allowed to discuss politics or religion here because the admin and mods don't allow it. NOT because folks here wouldn't!:sad:

That being said, I'm thankful for that because I get too much divisive crap on BOTH my FB Profiles!:doh:

I don't know what state u live in Maria but here in SoCal people seem to treat me just the same dressed as they did before "u know who" was killed!:thumbsup:

[Jillcder]

So sorry Maria, obviously I have never met you but Im a pretty good judge of people and wish 99% of the public had your attitude this world would be a much better place.
I have some close friends that are very good people but yet they criticize and call guys like us that wear womens clothing sick people and it hurts. Hang in there my friend.

[Philippa Jane]

Maria.
When I read things like you have experienced I just wonder how can people hate what they don't understand with so much passion.
Guys on the crew are all likely to band together so that they don't stand out as a supporter of anything controversial. As for your hairdresser, I think that should be the last time you visit her. That is a bad attitude towards someone who has been a good customer and a friend for all those years.
If these circumstances had not been on your mind I am sure you would not have reacted the way you did with the checkout person. I guess if you went back there at some stage you would probably have a kind word for her.
You are a good person who had a bad day. Tomorrow you will still be a good person.

[SophiaRose]

I really appreciate your post Maria. Being in societies spot light right now is tough and brings up a-lot of anxiety and despair for many of us. Vent, vent, vent...at least we have each-other on this forum to get a bit of support and understanding.

[CarlaWestin]

Being from DC, I have no issue discussing politics in an analytical and positive way. It's the folks that myna bird the latest talking points or the morons that get aggressive as though they're going to pound their ideology in and change my logical thought process somehow that discourage real conversation. I was actually on live radio discussing patriotic constitutional virtues while completely dressed enfemme and enjoying every sexy minute.

[Maria 60]

Even though one may say I shouldn't really care what happened this past week because after all Iam a closet crossdresser. But my mind always thinks of all of us and always has a thought that maybe one day who knows maybe we will take the plunge. Reading here and before this week I was reading and hearing and seeing a lot of positive that lead me to believe and see hope and maybe more acceptance. I had this thought that maybe people can change there views on things after all look how with AI and technology moving so fast people really can be open to change. I guess this is why I took it so hard and hurtful because nobody wants to take a step back. Hopefully one day we can get some people with voices in powerful places to have something positive to say instead of the same old views. Thanks for your responses.

[Stephanie47]

One thing I have learned in my eight decades on this planet is to let a person talk and talk and eventually he or she will reveal themselves. I sort of give a person a lot of rope to hang themselves and then unload on them for the bigotry. That's what I got from your post. Until you open up on them they all assume they are of the same belief structure. I don't expect anyone to known why we are the way we are since we (or at least I) do not know why we do what we do. Unfortunately, the winds of change are not favorable. I think that is evident in the USA. There are other forums and sites for discussions of the root of the evils that confront members of our broad community.

[Crissy 107]

Mod hat on

This thread is drifting towards politics so let’s just drop that now

[DianeT]

It's easy to see other peoples' prejudices when they concern you, and more difficult to identify your own. But you do have prejudices too. Everyone does. They may differ based on your personality, education and social experience, but being a crossdresser doesn't make you immune to them (on this site alone, a few examples come to mind). Well, the good news is that you can make all these negative experiences into a positive or at least constructive one by identifying these prejudices you have against other categories of people and trying to work on them. Making the world a better place doesn't necessarily start by changing the others.

[Marketa]

I feel for you.
I always say "So what? They aren't harming anyone. There are far worse things people do, don't you think?" and they agree.
Luckily Prague is quite open minded. People I met tend to be supportive or even admiring, that it really requires courage to go out looking like that.

[alwayshave]

Maria, I am sorry for the issue with your nephew. My feeling on people who have issues with trans people are they have issues with their own gender identity and are striking out to prove they don't have an issue.