Anyone else feeling a bit nervous about the idea going out dressed right now?

[Camille15]

Not that I go out dressed often, but I've taken a short stroll before while dressed. Usually just to the hotel lobby, or around the block if I'm renting a house for a Camille day.

But given certain happenings in the country involving trans people and attitudes towards them (I'm not going to get specific or political here), I'm feeling more nervous about that idea than usual. You never know who might want to vent their anger on a guy in a dress. So I'm thinking Camille will just be staying indoors for the near future.

Is anyone else feeling this way?

:<3: Camille

[Zoeytgtx]

Camille:

Exactly the opposite I have just spent the last five days out this weekend living as Zoey 24/7. People were very friendly and constantly telling me how nice I looked. I was blown away!

Hugs, Zoey

[Rochal Tukque]

I push the androgynous barrier pretty hard for a very none excepting area. But let?s not kid ourselves. So my full on mostly not passable girl mode are all about safety in numbers. Know your surroundings. We are an endangered species. Just my opinion.
Hugs Rochal

[char GG]

Mod note:

Thread: Bathroom bills and other laws , discussion thread

The above named thread is the only place where politics can be mentioned. Not in the MtF section. Any straying into politics and the thread will be closed.

[char GG]

Know your surroundings.

This is important. People's attitudes don't usually change but some get more emboldened. This is the way it has been for a long time. Always be aware.

[Di]

Thanks for not taking it political and please everyone respect this to keep the post going.

Thanks Char

I would agree andI dare say this even as a woman alone I will not go out ALONE.
Maybe think of
A group ,
Stay-in and do fun things .
Always lock your car even when driving as I had an incident while waiting for my dad to get off work…a guy tried opening my car door ( locked TG) then screamed at me to roll down my window to talk to him .

Always think safety first ….think outside how you normally do things,,,,,things you’d tell your daughter or wife..
I had no problem going out to restaurants ect alone…but attitudes have changed and people seen emboldened.
So no I will not be doing any of that not even going to the mall alone.

Be careful ladies …everyone seems so angry.

[Jenn A116]

Many thanks to the Mods for keeping this thread civil and providing good advice for those of us who do go out.

As far as the question goes, no I am not feeling any more hesitant about going out than I was before. Even after being out ~40+ times I still have some hesitancy. But that's more about my own repressed guilt than anything happening currently.

[Raychel]

Luckily I live in a great area in that aspect, I would not feel any different
going out now than I would have a few years back. Nothing has really changed here.
It is not all that uncommon to see someone out. We have pride painted crosswalks.
And everyone is accepted, not matter what their preferences are.

My courage to go out dressed has not changed either. That almost never happens.

[Stephanie47]

It's been a long time since I have ventured forth en femme to satisfy the "itch" to be out of our home. I did have the opportunity last year when my wife stayed overnight at our daughter's apartment. I passed on it for reasons other than the current perceived hostility towards the trans-community. Just this past several days a transwoman was assaulted at a bus station by four high school youths; two of whom are high school football players. You'd think the greater Seattle area would be one of the safest places in the country to go out en femme. I always look at activities as risk v. reward. Right now my mind says the reward is not worth the risk of adverse consequences.

[Traci H]

The only getting out for me is maybe a drive in the car once or twice a year. The current climate does enter my mind now a little bit. If I was more out, I might give it more weight. I certainly understand anyone being a bit more cautious, but as stated, caution as a woman is probably something we should all be more aware of.

[NancySue]

Definitely. We live in a very lovely but conservative, judgmental neighborhood and town. Getting caught, auto accident, flat tire, etc.= disaster. We stay in. I do miss venturing out.

[Robyn n TN]

I go out at least 2 times a week. I also travel as Robyn and I am going to Vegas in 2 weeks and South Florida in Nov. I really have not had any issues at all. But please be aware of your surroundings and if your inner self says to get out of where you are do it...

[Suzie Petersen]

It is a good question and I get what you are saying, Camille, but in my opinion a life lived in fear it's not a good one
We should always be aware of our surroundings when out, obviously, and best to only do things you are comfortable with, but I do encourage you to push your own boundaries a little now and then.
And yes, being with others is always safer.

I am right now sitting by a pool at a resort hotel in Vegas. Lots of people around me, can't hide and am not trying to. I am wearing a skimpy pair of bikini bottoms and a lightly covering, tankini top, mostly because of my "mommy pouch" ;) We have been walking around the hotel, on the strip, anywhere we want. No problems at all.
I know what you will say .. it's Vegas, but of course the majority of the people I/we encounter are not from Vegas, they are from Anytown America and around the world. All sorts of people.
I also go out as a woman around home, grocery store, clothes shopping, Walmart, Home Depot. I go hiking, play local tourist, do what I feel like, basically. For me, nothing has change because of the different times we live in. Ask yourself this, if you did not watch the news, listen to the radio, or read the paper .. would you feel anything was different? I have not personally noticed any change in how I am treated by anyone, and I hope you never will either.

[kimdl93]

I am not afraid of going out. As in years past, I am always selective about when and where I go, meaning I do not go out late in the evening and I avoid bars and other places where booze and stupidity are mixed. I also admit to being old and not a party animal.

[GracieRose]

I have thought about it a lot, but it hasn't stopped me from going out as frequently as I have the past few years. I think that I pass or blend reasonably well. Today at Home Depot, as I was looking at garbage cans, a man about my age stopped to 'offer advice" I think he saw me as a GG. In the parking lot, Another younger guy walking his dog ((in the Home Depot parking lot?) said "how are you today, my love". Again, I think I blended/passed well. It's interesting to see what women deal with. When I don't pass, and I'm sure I often don't, I see it as an opportunity to set the record straight and allow someone to see that we are friendly, ordinary, unthreatening people. We are not the monsters that some make us out to be. Acceptance comes through small interactions like this rather than verbally struggling to convince someone of the truth.

[Maid_Marion]

Now that I play golf well enough to play with random partners at the golf course I've discovered that I most certainly pass as female. Most of the time I just say that I cross dress because I'm too small to buy guy clothes but will patiently answer any questions they ask.
I used to do customer service. I can talk and play golf just fine. I have an unusually strong social game of golf if someone is interested in socializing. The golf course is an excellent opportunity to talk about stuff in private. Or just play golf.

[docrobbysherry]

No. But, I live in SoCal and have not seen a change in the pleasant acceptance I see when out and about. I can't recall how many times ciswomen have come up to compliment me or just chat!:hugs:

On the other hand, I only go out to T friendly and bars and clubs. Mostly at nite. I quit going out to vanilla venues in day time many years ago because of the attention I received wherever I went.:eek:

It wasn't all negative. But, it was all a big distraction from my purpose for being out. Shopping, eating, etc.:sad:

[OrdinaryAverageGuy]

I never dress fully in public, but I like to push boundaries. Yesterday I drove 9 hours with multiple stops wearing an obviously women's t-shirt along with usual toering and anklet, with my long hair pulled back in a women's clip instead of a tie. I got the usual no reactions. I don't understand what's different about these days than usual as regarding to dressing?

[Sandi Beech]

When you consider the outfits I have worn are designed to draw attention to myself, one might think I must not be concerned, but that is not completely true. When scoping out a new bar or club. I always check google street views to see if the parking is very close, if not I would just use Uber so I can be dropped off right at the door. I never had a problem with any drivers, and one guy even told me I was one of the most interesting people he had ever given a ride to. I even had one who was a crossdresser.

Isolated dark parking lots are to be avoided, yet many a crossdresser who is new to outings will go places no woman would. Getting out of a car for the thrill of a walk in women?s clothing in dark isolated areas is just not a good idea. It has been discussed many times before but needs to be reemphasized.

Sandi

[TheHiddenMe]

No, not at all.

As Di wrote, you have to be aware of your surroundings though. Women are more physically vulnerable than men so you might be seen as a woman and not TG and still be vulnerable.

[susan jackson]

Sadly, yes

I am post-op and live in the UK, but I don't look overly feminine and so I have been wearing trousers / jeans with muted make-up more often over the last few months

I'm sure people would be OK and leave me alone, but I don't want to risk it

[Fiona_44]

I live full time as a woman and am out in public all the time and I plan to continue doing so no matter what. Luckily I live in a fairly liberal area and everyone has always been nice to me. I also dress to blend in and most people who see me think I'm a woman.

[JohnH]

I *ALWAYS* present and dress like a woman, and I am always treated with respect. I live in the Dallas-Fort Worth area and am an active church member.

John

[Mari]

I live in a 3rd-world country, where most people have very backwards and conservative views on things. I've never been out fully in "girl mode", although I do dress stealthily fairly often (women's t-shirt, jeans, bra, panties, etc). If I were clocked as a cross-dresser, at best, I would be ridiculed, and at worst, I could potentially suffer physical harm from people who take great offence to my mere existence.

[Debs]

I go out all the time, its down to confidence, be positive, enjoy your day out, nobody is going to bother you, just be vigilant about your suroundings, use the disabled toilets with a radar key, I wont go into toilets where children go, pubs are ok where its all adults, chat to everyone and enjoy your day. see simples, I do it all the time. I even ask the manager off the pub/club Im in which toilet they would like me to use, theres no problem in that deparment then.

[Michelle_G]

Many times, a few bad actors will give a whole group a bad image; pick a group, any group.
I am thankful, to currently be able to get out dressed a couple times a week. I am in NE Tennessee and am not concerned at all.
Of course, standard female safety precautions are advised anywhere.

[BiancaEstrella]

It's a fair consideration but be diligent and you'll be fine. Stay safe out there.

[Lacey New]

I?m not particularly apprehensive about it because I simply don?t see it in the cards fo me. I?m content to keep my dressing private although I have no problem going out underdressed and even wearing a bra and pantyhose in the winter when things can be easily concealed.

[Kris Burton]

in my opinion a life lived in fear it's not a good one
We should always be aware of our surroundings when out
being with others is always safer.

I agree with Suzie's philosophy and advice completely. We cannot and should not live our lives in fear. We can lessen any apprehension we might feel by being aware of our surroundings as any person male or female should. And being with others is always safer - and more fun! I must add that the larger the crowd the safer I feel, almost the reverse of what you might think.

[CarlaWestin]

Tracking along with Suzie and Kris there's another element that the trans experience has been hijacked and over hyped by the POV media to cause derision.
I live in a place where they'd have you believe the torches and pitchforks are larger than life but, I've never had any issues whatsoever.
I just don't buy into the 'these times' fear mongering.