Are you a crossdressing Alpha male?

[Alison-Mary]

Hi

Me and my wife were watching 'Married At First Sight' the other night (a lovely trashy program shown in UK & Australia) and one of the wives was hoping to be paired up with an alpha male. My wife is accepting of my crossdressing and I do dress in front of her on some nights of the week (although it took many years to get to this stage, so for some of you don't lose all hope). Anyway she asked me if I thought I was an alpha male, and I hinted that hardly, being in a skirt et al; then she said that she thought there was an 'alpha' side to me. I am definitely not alpha (and wouldn't want to be) but guess there is an assertive (but fair) side, that is what I guess she was referring to. So was wondering if you consider yourself alpha, and more interestingly, would your SO consider you alpha?

Best
Alison

[Natalie5004]

I found a tell tale sign of being an Alpha male.

Not feeling about mundane stuff. Like someone you know has a kid and you do not know their birthday. About somebody's Mom. It is like this stuff does not even appears on your personal radar screen. I take it as not important enough to stuff into my memory bank. But my Wife... She remembers everything. So, no matter what I am wearing I will never get to that level of caring and FEELING. So, yes I am an Alpha Male I guess.

[Gail_veiled]

My wife loves 'Married At First Sight' and pretty much any "reality" show; not so much me other than to poke fun at them.

To your question, I don't think either myself or my wife would consider me a particularly dominant "alpha male". While I can and do make decisions for us, I prefer to defer to her or come to a consensus. I think early on she probably wished I was more stereotypical alpha but we've been together 40+ yrs so I guess we've mostly figured it out.

[docrobbysherry]

Alpha male, manly man, stud, macho, masculine, etc. Hulk Hogan, The Rock, etc. Yeah, that's me all the way! Spend all my free time in the gym.:thumbsup:

Can't u tell from my avatar?:daydreaming:

[April Rose]

No, I'm a caretaker and a nuturer.

[Ivan_1974]

I think that being a crossdresser does not exclude the possibility of being an alpha male or perceiving oneself as an alpha male. When I am dressed as a man there's nothing that allows to understand that I'm a crossdresser and I'm not absolutely submis.sive to any male. More, being alpha does not mean being aggressive but I associate the sense of being alpha as being sure of oneself and I'm totally so. So, yes, both aspects can coexhist in every male

[ilisa]

I'm definitely beta. Oh I've got some alpha traits and moments, but yeah I'm definitely beta. I'm ok with that.

[Philippa Jane]

A full Alpha male perhaps not but certainly a take charge kind of male all those years ago.
I would often clash with a full on Alpha if I did not agree and would voice my opinion. However if they were hell bent on doing what they wanted to do I stepped back and let them get on with it.
My wife and I were partners and I always discussed things with her but I mostly got my own way.
Now I go with the flow.

[SaraLin]

I'm not an alpha. I have no desire to lead or be in charge.
I'm not a beta either. I'm not one to surrender myself to the lead of another.

If I agree with you on something, I'll support you and help out where I can.
If I disagree, I'm gone. I'm not going to argue. I'm probably not going to make a scene or cause any difficulty. I'll simply remove myself from the situation. If there are enough disagreements, or if our differences are just too big - well, it's been nice knowing you. Goodbye.

Male me tends to be a bit of a rescuer. For example, my closest friend is physically disabled and my wife needs me almost 24/7.
Female me is still a bit of a mystery. Since my wife wants a husband, I haven't been able to find out who I really am as Sara.
I think I'd like to be the one who is cared for, supported, and protected. (I think I'd be a good wife :idontknow:)

[CynthiaD]

Yes I am. I love my feminine side. I love to be gentle and nurturing. I feel that is my true self. But in male mode, I’m the one in charge, and most people in the room can feel it. I have no need to act out or try to prove anything. Additionally, There is an automatic switch in my brain that instantly turns me from female mode to alpha male mode: woman or child in danger. If that happens, I’m instantly the alpha male protector. It’s automatic.

[Monique65]

Before my wife’s acceptance of my femme side, I was defiantly an alpha. Now, when wearing panties, a bra, leggings and gown, I feel much more relaxed and nurturing. My wife has noticed and that’s a big reason she is encouraging me to explore my inner woman.

[Jasmine23]

Hi Alison-Mary,
I saw that episode of Married at first sight too, the wife in question comes across as an Alpha woman! Personally I don't consider myself an Alpha male (whatever that is), generally I'm very submissive, but, not a walkover either. I have no desire to lead or need to dominate others or show others who's in charge, I prefer to lead by example.

[OrdinaryAverageGuy]

I remember decades ago having psyc conversations about submission (referring to bondage), the opinion was that many men who are in positions of authority are more likely to engage in and enjoy such activities as a way for the Alpha male to completely relinquish control for a brief period of his day. Over the years I've heard similar opinions about CDing, perhaps because pretending to be "the weaker sex" (in quotes because I don't believe for a second that women are weak) for a while brings some balance or relief to an otherwise Alpha life.

I don't know if that makes sense or if there are any stats supporting or refuting these opinions, just something this thread and AmyJordan's thread on submission made me think of.

In my own case, I'm usually in charge of whatever's going on unless I willingly step back to let someone with more expertise on the project take over, and yeah I love skirts and sure don't mind NOT being in charge in the bedroom.

[BiancaEstrella]

I mean, other than the alpha male stuff being debunked when I was still a kid (and I've been an adult a few years longer than I was a kid now), I get the gist of it.

My style was always "go with the flow, let things happen around me, but if I am pressed into duty I am ready to take charge" - I haven't changed much in that way since transitioning.

[Sabine7]

I am neither alpha nor beta male. Even in male mode I am rather a solitary male preferring to live outside a herd. I can hardly accept a male dominating me. I don't have any desire or need to dominate others.
However, when in sexual relationship I love to be dominated and to behave as women do. I feel accomplishment in playing the female role. Sabine

[Helen_Highwater]

I think the term Alpha male needs defining. Looking at what's happening in the UK Alpha male is more commonly associated with those who are misogynistic, think the woman's place is in the home, totally subservient to the man and grateful for any "gifts" he bestows upon her. At his beck and call. Does as they're told or face the consequences. Someone more prone to violence than caring.

This is a far call from being a loving and caring head of the household. The decision maker.

I've always though of my marriage as a partnership of equals. We both bring different skills and attributes that complement each other. Is ths linked to my dressing? I'm drawn to say no. As the man about the house I've undertaken more large repair or construction jobs over the years than I care to think about. Moved more sand, cement, bricks, blocks, plasterboard, timber, earth, driven home thousands of screws. I'm a dab hand at hanging wallpaper to!

I'm the fella those who know me come to if they need help with a DIY project. But does all that make me an Alpha male? I hope not. I abhor the description I gave above. It has no place in a modern society. Beta is better.

[Sabine7]

My understanding of the alpha is different. He does not need to be a traditional macho, paternalistic and misogynistic one but rather a natural leader of the herd. He used to dominate intentionally or unintentionally not only women but also men around him. These guys tends to build a network of dominance. Women like him because he is the local primary male while other males would like to be like him.

[Taylor186]

I relate more to the Sigma male. Sounds like others above do too.

AI Definition: A sigma male is an internet archetype for a man who is independent, self-reliant, and exists outside the traditional social hierarchy, preferring solitude and authenticity over dominance and social conformity. Key traits include non-conformity, strategic thinking, and confidence derived from within, rather than from external validation or leadership positions.

For a deeper dive go here: https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-a-sigma-male-8655129

[Kitty Sue]

I am definitely not alpha. However, I have had masculine jobs being in the army, navy and also the merchant marine. I remember when I had my makeover in 2009 I was talking with Rain and she said she had had a client who was a U.S Navy SEAL and another was an infantryman from the 101st Airborne Division I believe. She said it was not uncommon for men in hyper masculine professions including firefighters to also like to dress up. A way of getting away from these taxing occupations briefly. I 100% felt I could identify with what she was telling me. I don't know if these other crossdressers would have considered themselves alpha or not.

[CarlaWestin]

Yeah, pretty much. But not that smelly confrontational type. More the focused patient situational awareness protector type.

[Fiona_44]

I do not consider myself an alpha male, no desire to lead others at all. Like Jasmine, I prefer to lead by example.

[DAVIDA]

I guess I'm a D male.
I'm a doer. If it needs to be done, I do it.:thumbsup:
People call me for things because I do things, a lot of things.
My wife has said we could have never done or had the things we did If I wasn't able to do them myself from the cost concerns being it turning wrenches, repairing anything, or adding onto the house.
I was the only E-4 shop foreman in the department when I was in the Navy.
I was put in charge of a new maintenance crew on the state port authority in Mississippi after just being hired, and above people who had been there years.
I ran jobs when I worked for my BIL in the security and alarm business, and I had my own general contracting company for twenty years before I had to medically retire.
So I will just say I'm a D male.:)

[JesseVF]

I am for sure not an alpha, and I?m sure my wife would not think so either. I grew up in a female dominated family and although I understand that?s not supposed to be related to CD I have to wonder. I?ve heard the incredibly ironic comment made that my wife wears the pants in the family! Frankly that is probably the only way our relationship works. I also once had a former roommate say if only I was a girl I would be his perfect companion. I can force my assertive side when needed but thankfully since retiring don?t need to do that very often anymore.

[Rochal Tukque]

No, I'm a caretaker and a nuturer.

I?m a caregiver too. The wife appreciates the dress takes the rough edges off. I guess the clothes really does make the man. Ha ha

[alwayshave]

AM, my take on so called alpha males, is that anyone who announces they are an alpha male is compensating for something else.

[DianeT]

Alpha, no. More a Lambda with an Epsilon of Xi, Pi, Phi, Chi and Psi. Sometimes I wander in the realms of Gamma Delta (yes I am a GDer too). I can be the Sigma of Beta, Zeta, Eta, Theta, and even a Iota of Omega. Mu, Nu, Xi and the fair Omicron and Upsilon can be my muses too, with a pinch of Rho and a hint of Tau.

[Lacey New]

Being retired now, I don?t think I have to be Alpha to anyone. I probably was one when I was working though.

[Raychel]

I never considered myself as an alpha male, I had some jobs that were more of the alpha nature, Auto Mechanic and Auto repair business owner, which meant I had to be in control. I had 13 people working for me. And had to project the alpha male at times. But in all honesty, on the inside, that was all an act. I never really truly felt alpha in my personality