It Never Really Stops- Does It

[fireandlace]

I have been dressing up since I was around 11 or 12 and fascinated with womens clothing probably before that. I am pretty much a closeted CD and all my dressing has been in my house. My wife doesn?t know or if she suspects we have never talked about it.

Just under two years ago we had our basement finished. My collection/stash was in a suit case hidden under luggage, etc in the basement. To make sure it wasn?t found as we moved stuff around I put it in the garage attic. That attic isn?t easily accessible so my couple times a month dressing up became non-existent. Instead of dressing up myself I was living vicariously through so many of you here on this site. I had gotten to the point where I was thinking that I didn?t need to dress and vicarious living and writing erotic TG fiction would meet my desires and needs.

My wife went out of town on Thursday for a long weekend. The next day I pulled the suitcase down to see if everything was okay in it. I then decided to go through it to see if I wanted to keep the stuff I had accumulated over the years. Bet you can guess what that led to.

For three days I have been loving wearing lingerie, nylons, dresses and heels. I am dreading the idea of having to put all of it back in my hiding place.

[_jenni_]

No, it doesn?t seem too.

[Raychel]

I think you will find that so many of us have gone thru this at one point or another. Stashed everything away thinking it may just go away. Some have gone so far as to purge everything. Only to find out that it truly never does go away. Then all the items have to be purchased again. I think it is best to deal with the internal thoughts and accept this is part of who you are.

I don't think it ever does really go away for good. Maybe for a short time. But not for good.

[docrobbysherry]

Well, they say there's a first time for everything, Fire. So, maybe you'll be the first dresser to give it up and forget about it!:heehee:

[Crissy 107]

No it definitely never really stops, I thought it was out of my life for a good long while. Almost 12 years ago it came back with a vengence and I was totally hooked again.
I have to say I am much happier since I accepted crossdressing in my life.

[Traci H]

I have come to the conclusion that CDing is a lifelong venture and you are in it for life. I did put it aside once for two years, but I was fooling myself. For whatever reason, it becomes part of you. I just want to embrace it now and try not to create too much heartache for my wife.

[fireandlace]

Chrissy, It was about 20 years ago that I finally accepted that I was a cross dresser. I found happiness in that. On a lot of occasions I have thought if I could come out to my wife I would be a lot happier. For a lot of reason I have t done that but after this weekend it is on my mind again.

- - - Updated - - -

docrobbysherry- I think you and Karren Hutton are probably the two girls I would consider experts and awesome and amazing older ‘sisters’ so I am taking your comment as gospel. ��

[NancySue]

Nope. It?s here for the duration. Like a roller coaster, highs and lows. Then there?s the pink fog. Ever thought about having ?that talk?? She may already know or suspect. Female ESP is scary.

[Misty Rae Pleasure]

Your situation is how mine used to be regarding having to hide my clothing and dressing when opportunity arose. I have been dressing for 40 years and now am at my peak of crossing dressing and am absolutely in love with the life style. i recently divorced (unrelated to crossdressing). She and no one knew ever. I now have the freedom to have all my clothes in a dedicated closet and am free to be dressed while walking around the house. I have purged 3 to 4 times and always have came back to it at a higher level each time. I really don't think I could ever stop crossdressing as the desire is in me to stay. After getting divorced I've decide to try (slowly) to have relationships with other crossdresser's and men. I am trying to get the courage to go out en femme in public. I find crossdressing has had levels throughout my journey. I don't think I have been this excited about my sexuality and what the future brings as I do now. I believe most of us who try their first panty or bra will never stop having the desire to dress. The feeling is too strong and intoxicating. Relax and accept who you are and experience it whenever you can. Please don't feel guilty. You are hurting no one and need to express your desires.

[kimdl93]

Sometimes I view crossdressing as an addiction. It can meat most of the criteria, particularly for someone like myself, that saw a marriage end as a direct result. I often have castigated myself for not being willing to kick the habit.

On other occassions, I am more charitable to myself. As a single person, I am no longer putting any strain on a relationship and I have always been quite restrained about spending on personal items , so it?s not an economic burden. In my situation, and if it is indeed a compulsion, it is no worse than collecting commemorative coffee mugs or model train sets. Moments of doubt occur now and then, but for the most part I am allowing myself some grace, reminding myself that (as my therapist once said, “Its not a crime, you know.’’

[Lacey New]

For me, crossdressing started out as an addicting behavior. It was clearly arousing and like most drugs, more was better. The stash grew larger with more variety and just more stuff. It was wonderful just to acquire more stuff whether I needed it or not. Having 60 pairs of panties, many of them the same brand, colors and styles , was better than having 40 pairs of panties. However, like an addict, I knew I had to manage my addiction rather than let it manage me. So I have pared down partly due to jobs and moves and simply because I knew I had to do it. But still, every now and then and then, I have to succumb to the urge to buy something pretty. It never goes away.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Fire & Lace :hugs:, I'll be 83 in 6 weeks and I've been in this Program for over 78 Years Now, >Orchid**0:daydreaming:0**

[Jillcder]

Many years ago I heard the saying ?once a crossdresser always a crossdresser? for me this is definitely the case I have been into womens clothing for over 5 decades.

[Steph_CD_62]

I started out as a teenager wearing my mom's clothes and enjoying every moment I could get. It got so bad, that I would pretend to be sick just so I could stay home from school, and I would be alone and wear my mom's clothes.

After I graduated high school, I thought I was done wearing women's clothes. I figured it was just a phase. Yes, I still liked seeing the girls I was seeing wearing nice lingerie, but at no time did I think about wearing any type of women's clothes.

While married to my ex-wife, and while she was pregnant, I was helping out around the house. I was working the evening shift, so when I got home and everyone was asleep, I would do things around the house since I couldn't just go home and go straight to sleep. Well while doing laundry I found her long nylon nightgown and the urge to wear it was overwhelming. After doing this a couple of times, my ex-wife caught me. We had a talk the next day, and she didn't care as long as I didn't do it in front of our kids.

When I met my current wife, I knew who I was and what I enjoyed wearing and I knew I didn't want to keep it a secret. So, within a couple of weeks I told her that I loved wearing lingerie (which is all I wore at the time). She accepted me for what I what I liked wearing. And as our marriage has grown so has the amount of clothing I wear has grown.

So, in my opinion once a crossdresser always a crossdresser.
I just don't know what I will do if/when I have to move into an "old folks' home".

[Christie ann]

No, it never goes away, and it seems like it just gets stronger as you age.

[Stephanie47]

I'm nearing the end of eight decades on this planet. I just can't seem to stop. This morning I ordered Vanity Fair panties in two styles in a new color: Legacy Red. I need more panties like I need a new hole in my head. Not two long ago my wife remarked, when we were discussing checking out of this world that maybe I should get rid of some stuff less our kids have to dispose of too much. There's at least 24 Xerox boxes of femme stuff stacked in our store room. I'm waiting for a terminal diagnosis.

[Cassiek]

Im right there with everyone. I've been through the dreaded purge a time or two and each time the desire to dress came back stronger. I hope you can find a way to make this work with your wife. My situation ended with her leaving me.

[CynthiaD]

No, it never stops. Thank goodness.

[JulieC]

No, it never stops. It's always there. I don't like putting it away when I have to either. I've seen it said here many times before that the longer you are dressed, the less you want to take it off. Certainly applies to me. So, that makes me wonder...is there a limit? I've been testing that possibility every night this year. I'm always crossdressed for bed, including pantyhose or stockings, nightgown, bra, and forms. 295 days in a row I've done this. Each morning I wake up, and find myself rubbing my hosiery covered legs together. It just never gets old. I enjoy being just a guy, but I think I could live full time and never feel like I've reached the limit.

Our group of people that post here are a self affirming group though. The 'quitters' (for lack of a better term) have left this site so we don't hear from them. But, I'm only aware of one that swore off of crossdressing and left this site. I've no way of confirming if it worked for them or not, but I've heard so many people who've tried this and failed that I doubt it succeeded.

If I'm put into an old folk's home someday, I'm going to keep crossdressing if I can. Screw their opinions. They can't kill me, and even if they did not much of a loss since I'm close to death anyway.

[April Rose]

Well, I started around 5 years old and I'm 75 now, typing this in my nightgown and robe, so I guess, if you go by me, No.

[Sabine7]

It never stops. The more you practice the more necessary and profound it becomes.

[Natalie5004]

Why stop if it is so much fun. Today, after my work from home job is done, I am considering going to the grocery store dolled up.

I will have to dress down a little bit. Women are not this dressed up to go grocery shopping.

[JennniferMcC]

Quitting crossdressing is easy!! I've done it a thousand times! Yup. Never gone away, for me at least from the time I was 5. I stopped a few times (once for a period of years) but even then the desire (need?) never went away. I've heard it described as an addiction but I think it's something else. You always hear of people giving up drinking or drugs or gambling. As far as I can tell, a person quitting crossdressing is pretty rare. Sometimes I think it's wired into us somehow. After all, lots of boys try on mom's clothing once and never want to again. What made us want to keep going?

[Niccar]

No matter how much you suppress it never goes away I have come to realize. If anything it intensifies.

[Michelle1955]

No started for me at around 5, a playmate and I swapped underwear in her bedroom one day. But I had thoughts way before that. Ie Sears and JC Penny catalogs.
Been 65 years.
Noticed anything of you post about leggings, I have my own leggings and panties, wife does cloths washing no comments anymore.
Wear leggings every day in the winter under my pants, i get cold.
Wear panties every day all year, not into lace. Functional panties.
Wife does not like my bras an forms.

Good Luck.

[Charlotte Sparkle]

It never stops and I've found for me at least that it gets worse every day.

[Cheryl T]

No, it doesn't stop. At least not for me.
I started at 5 or 6 and it's been 70 years now and I feel it every day.

[CarlaWestin]

docrobbysherry- I think you and Karren Hutton are probably the two girls I would consider experts and awesome and amazing older ?sisters? so I am taking your comment as gospel. ��

Ehh, I'd stay away from those two. I've heard they run around in dresses!

No it doesn't stop. I was in your situation for a long time. Suitcases, phoney storage boxes, purges I can't even remember.
Please, ease into the wife inclusion. Just because you tell her it doesn't mean it's OK.

[Snide_lobster]

Obviously the subject gets close to being controversial for good reason, but I?ve been curious as to whether or not one can ?get over? a paraphilia/self presentation ?deviance?/sexuality component or quirk. Certainly there are success stories about people overcoming vice addictions, but the mantra I tend to hear is that while they succeed in developing successful coping and abstaining mechanisms, the impulse and risk or relapse never really goes away. I guess I?m not convinced that crossdressing is immune to being successfully ?purged? from one?s life, albeit it?s a little bit trickier with the taboo nature of the topic and the fact that many cds are heterosexual, which often places them in continual tension with the very objects they may wish to abstain from(due to their gfs and wives). It?s also unfortunate that we as a community really are stuck with a sampling bias, nobody who?beats? crossdressing is here on these forums to proclaim their? victory ?

For clarity, I?m not encouraging people to try and DIY conversion therapy away the desire to wear bras and panties, and obviously the track record is the track record. But I?m just kind of curious to what degree this truly is set in stone.

Edit: apparently all those question marks should be apostrophes not sure hope to change it