What do you think draws people to you?

[Philippa Jane]

This is something that has been on my mind for the last couple of years.I first began to notice this when I was in Bangkok . Sitting in the hotel lobby and being approached by other guests.A few of them spoke some English but for those who didn't we used Google translate.*
When I started meeting people through Stitch it was not really the same as being approached. I would sit with people at a restaurant and just chat.However, what has become noticeable is the amount of personal information*given to me.I never pry but it seems I have a trustworthy manner.I have begun to ask if friends can explain to me why they feel so comfortable*talking to me.The most common answer has been that I have a calm demeanor and I am a good listener.One mystical person described me as having an aura of tranquility.??
The question I am asking is. Do you have an effect like this on others and if so what do you think attracts people to you?It needn't*be like me, it could be what you are wearing at a club or just chance encounters.

[Sandi Beech]

When I started going out in 2017, I was fascinated by how differently I was treated when dressed up vs male mode. I was told by one person that I have a nice smile, and that may be partly what makes you so approachable as well. In my case it is not like I passed so it is kind of weird.

I mean how many times have I ever been asked to join some women for dinner when I was eating at a table by myself in male mode, never. Yet that is exactly what has happen to me both at dinner and at bars.

All I know is that I love that aspect of crossdressing in public. The attention is addictive and I love meeting open minded people.

Sandi

[kimdl93]

I honestly have not a clue. Like Sandy, on the relatively rare occassions when I go out to clubs, I have often found myself drawn into groups of women for dinner, drinks and revelry. That never happened as a male.

[docrobbysherry]

They aren't!:sad:

You're quite lucky and/or a much nicer person than I am, Phillipa!:heehee:

[Princess Chantal]

Apparently, I have been told that I have some kind of aura that makes me approachable.

[alwayshave]

No one approaches me in male mode except sales people. When dressed, women do approach and talk to me.

[Marketa]

Well, I'm tall, quite slim, with make-up a cutie, so I get approached in clubs, mainly by men but by women too. Women usually tell me I'm looking great or compliment my outfit.
And in the city or mall I turned few heads.

[Maria 60]

Some people just have that look that people trust. I have a co-worker that for some reason everyone opens up to him. We go on service calls and he just gets to know someone and he'll know there financial problems and marriage problems.
I guess you have a gift of a trusted face.

[Philippa Jane]

Hi Sandi, I was pretty sure you would contribute due to your many clubbing exploits. Could it be that some 'see' us and think how brave we are and that must make us approachable?

Sherry. You would have to be someone that others would love to talk to. The very 'out there' style that you have and I guess the intrigue that you must project would draw people in. Probably also that you frequent places with other like minded people who are less inclined to be reserved. I think you are selling yourself short by inferring you are not as nice a person as myself. Your interaction on this forum suggest otherwise.

Kim. Clubs and alcohol do tend to loosen up peoples inhibitions.

Chantal. That is what I am talking about. Have you found yourself sitting alone somewhere and been approached for a conversation?

Jamie. I get it with sales people because that is there job but, how about just sitting somewhere nice and having a casual chat? Ok it could also apply to a convention or show but not necessarily a CD or themed outing.

Marketa. I am sure you get hit on a lot in clubs and you do turn heads. That my dear is lust. How many in depth conversations where the other party is divulging personal life experiences to you. Sometime even a long term relationship will not allow you to get really close to learning all about your partners closest secrets.

Maria. Perhaps that is the the key. Trust is a big thing. Many years ago when I worked a taxi customers often got in the car and off loaded their problems to me. This wasn't trust just a case of them talking to a person that they probably would never see again. And yet now with the ladies I am mixing with I seem to learn all about their past issues. Always the bad side. I am a good listener and always sober.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Philippi Jane, One thing that draws people to me is my Workshop , All my Tools & my Skills,

I never leave the House Dressed, >Orchid**O:daydreaming:O**

[Cheryl T]

I have no idea and truthfully I've never felt that I was someone who others gravitated towards.
Perhaps I'm wrong. I do find that when dressed I usually end up in a group of women which is certainly a nice feeling.

[Snide_lobster]

I’m pretty selective in who I choose to be close friends with, not that I’m mean/rude (at least I try my best not to be ) to those who aren’t. But there have been times when it seems like people share more with me than I really expect them to. Not sure if there’s some pattern to the circumstances I’m not seeing, or if I just give off that vibe. Unfortunately, I have not been as friendly going out in drag, and I’m working on that. In retrospect I’ve probably been ruder (more accurately standoffish/unapproachable) than I should be, but I guess I’m still trying to find comfort in my own skin and it takes a while for me to feel like I fit into new places and scenes. I’m trying to strike the balance of being real with myself and my patterns while trying to be a better person moving forward, ?\_(ツ)_/?

[SaraLin]

What attracts people to me?
Nothing.

As an example, I went to a friend's (dry) birthday party, and even chatted with him.
The next day, he asked why I didn't come to the party.
I'm that invisible/forgettable.

Now, the few times I've been out and dressed, the reaction is a bit stronger, but largely negative.
I'm certainly not attracting anyone with my ravishing beauty.:lol:

[Sabine Janus]

The few times I've gone out en femme- mostly its either woman or middle aged guys "Looking"

[JesseVF]

SaraLin - your answer applies to me also at least initially. After people get to know me I?m perceived as easy going and gets along with everyone.

[rachaelsloane]

Early on in my going out adventures in San Francisco with friends, I was the one frequently approached by both women and men (no clue as to why) other than I felt comfortable in the moment as well as presenting well. I guess those approaching me felt that. Another observation my friend and I noticed was that many were curious as to why we dressed.
I've made many friends over the years and am still in contact with them.