Traditional female roles

[Rochal Tukque]

Not being misogynistic here, but at least here in the USA the push is still alive and well as to traditional female roles. Being women do the cooking and cleaning men are the bread winners. Right, wrong, whatever, it?s still very much what is. The question I have do find yourself a crossdresser falling into the more feminine roles. Consciously or unconsciously? Myself now a caregiver a lot of stuff the wife used to do now falls to me. Not long in the past I found myself taking on things around the house and shopping that I would have passed on. Looking for makeup for wife. Watching the mostly female dominated cooking shows on PBS to learn more about cooking different things. You get the point. That brings us to Thanksgiving, I hate cooking the turkey, but I really enjoy doing the meal for others and entertaining the guests. Of course with all the feminine touches. How about you?
Hugs Rochal

[Bea_]

I did a lot of caregiving for my wife before retirement but after retiring seven years ago, I became pretty much a full time caregiver. Certain parts are not bad but I suck at much of it. I've done 100% of the grocery shopping for decades. I do 90% of the cooking but it's definitely not gourmet. More short order. Not that great at cleaning either but manage. She kept a very nice house when she was able.

I don't think the role is so feminine for me. I dress femme at home daily and don't do special for the chores.

[kayegirl]

I was also a carer for my late wife, and later when living alone for a period, I had to do all of the household chores. Now with my second lovely wife, we split the duties between us. She tends to do most of the cooking whilst I do the cleaning, amongst other kobs. One task that I find strangely theraputic is the ironing of fresh laundry.

[char GG]

We were both full time breadwinners. Therefore, we both had to split the chores. There was no male or female role.

[Amelie]

Being poor and living on my own for most of my life, I had to know how to do everything. If I didn't cook I'd starve. If I didn't know how to fix a roof I'd have leaks everywhere. If I couldn't fix a home heater I'd freeze to death. Some clothes were too expensive for me so I learned to sew and made my own. I learned how to garden/small farming for food. I'm now learning what wild plants I could use from the woods in case the world goes belly-up. Had to do unspeakable things for money. Being alone makes one forget the feminine/masculine ways of life. One has to find a way.

In my life there is no such thing as feminine and masculine chores. I had to learn to do everything I needed in life or I wouldn't survive.

[chrissy111]

Ever since my wife asked me to quit work and be her full time wife I do everything around the house. Before that I always did about 90 percent.

[Jillcder]

Chrissy, sounds like you and your wife have the perfect arrangement I would absolutely love being my wifes full time wife.

[Traci H]

This strikes a chord with me. I find the push over the last few decades by feminists to push for men to partake in household duties more is one sided. No matter how I dressed, I cook, clean, shop for groceries, etc. However when the tables are turned and there?s maintenance to be done, the better half is no where to be found. It?s a very lopsided standard in my world. Something as simple as cleaning the car interior. If I didn?t do it, my wife?s car would be a rolling pig stye. She has never cleaned it. And who always cleans the nasty parts of the bathroom. Anything below counter level.

Now if I could dress and cook, clean, etc, I would feel much better about it. Vent over.

[JesseVF]

I do the vast majority of cooking, food shopping, cleaning, and all car/home maintenance. My wife does the laundry - apparently I don?t do it correctly - but I do the ironing. I pay some bills but she has taken over most financial management.
We started off together with a more even split of everything but slowly evolved to where it is now. Not sure exactly how that happened. She became more successful career wise, so I did have to take on responsibility for everything including taking care of the kids as she traveled a lot, so maybe that?s where it started. Anyway I?ve been happy assuming more of the traditional female roles.
As far as Thanksgiving it?s kind of funny because for a couple times a year, like for Holiday parties, she cooks the entire meal, so everyone assumes she cooks all the time.

[April Rose]

Cooking, cleaning, laundry,sewing, shopping, childcare, decorating, entertaining, adult care giving, I have done them all. In pants or in a dress. Stereotypes are just that. Stereotypes.

Men or women should be able to do what they need to do or want to do, wear what they need to wear or want to wear, within the bounds of justice and morality, tradition be damned.

[MsEva]

I have always been able to complete shared responsibilities but I like to do the laundry, clean the house, and cook both inside and grill outside for most of our meals. Dear wife is the one responsible for bills and financial stuff. I am also in charge of outside lawn care and repairs. We both share our duties as grandparents with our 5 month old grand daughter. We have her three to four times a week. Feels natural to us.

[docrobbysherry]

No. I live alone now. So, I cook, but nothing that takes over 15 minutes. My cleaning is so bad I can never find anything and my daughters and granddaughters won't even enter my house anymore because of the dust and spiders!:doh:

I'm SO JEALOUS of those of u that put on a maid's outfit and want to clean house!:eek:

[Cheryl T]

Before retirement I never did the household chores. I just worked too much and my wife handled all those thing while I maintained the outside of the house/property.
Now that we have retired and I dress nearly daily I do so much more about the house. Laundry, cleaning, cooking and now for the holidays, helping her decorate. I enjoy all these things as much as anything else and I feel I've arrived where I always wanted to be. I've become the "average woman". No longer just the show piece, the model or the fashionista. I'm now just like most other women and I love it.

[Georgia_Maine]

My wife and I have shared work equally from the start, be it housekeeping cooking or repairs, even the autos. It was just who had the most time or got to it first. We raised our kids to be the same way.

[DianeT]

I don't think my dressing has any bearing on my role in the couple, but the question is actually complex, it's an egg and chicken riddle. If I exhibit traits that are traditionally associated with female roles in our society, is it because I crossdress, or do I crossdress because I had these traits in the first place? Or are all of these things stemming from an inner self that resonates more with traditional female gender roles? Or is this all nonsense and we are simply complex beings that pick and chose based on so many variables that it's futile to try explaining it...

[_jenni_]

95% of the female role is covered by yours truly. After more than a quarter century the genetic she in the relationship has figured out..well that she is the messy one.

[SaraLin]

As my dear wife becomes more and more disabled, I've become the husband, wife, nurse, housekeeper, laundry service, cook, etc.
Lawn care and auto maintenance we pay for, but if it's inside the house, I'm it.

[Philippa Jane]

There does seem to be a common thread here in the chores we do.
I always have enjoyed grocery shopping. I always used the same store and knew where to put my hands on everything that I used in the kitchen. I often knew when things were a good buy or not.
My wife would just go around and grab off the shelf never looking at the unit price.
I was more frugal.
She never really liked to cook so it was good that I took an interest. When cleaning became too much for her I took that on as well.
You never know what you will miss until she has gone.
I still look after myself and the house but spotless cleaning is not a necessity unless I have visitors, then I am like a whirlwind with cleaning and polishing. That is the only time I am really motivated.

[Heather76]

In our home, my wife does the traditional female chores such as cooking, laundry, and cleaning. That said, I have done those chores and have nom issue pitching in from time to time. I do the traditional male chores such as car maintenance, lawn maintenance, and interior maintenance and repairs. She doesn't ever do those things. We both have a background in banking and accounting. I spent about 12 years doing those things before I got into sales. She spent her entire working life doing that type of work. Because she spent so much time on computers as a school district bookkeeper, she wants nothing to do with maintaining our budget, recording checks, etc., so I keep track of our finances on computer spread sheets. On those times I vacuum the house, I generally enjoy doing it wearing a dress, and all that goes with it. I can cook. but rarely do. I've also told my wife on many occasions that should she not want to cook, dinner out is a fine option. We do dine out every Friday evening.

[OrdinaryAverageGuy]

I'm the alpha male in the house, and do whatever's needed, however I'm dressed. The other day I was working on the truck in leggings, would have been a skirt but my brother-in-law's visiting. I'm the breadwinner, the fixer, the lumberjack, the primary driver, the pilot, and usually the cook and dishwasher. I can run a vacuum cleaner or washing machine in pants or a skirt with or without fishnet stockings. Clothes can't change who and what I am.

[alwayshave]

I never did any traditional female type chores. However, my wife has been sick for about six months and all those chores now fall to me. I cannot say that I enjoy them.

[Melanie Therese]

It?s a good thing that although outwardly and to everyone I am very male, I?m not the traditionalist wanting a tradwife which many in our church expect. My wife is in her chosen career, very well educated and paid accordingly which until recent years was a significant amount more. I only completed high school so have just worked to pay the bills. Some recent promotions for me as our kids are now older with less care needed I have reduced the gap, but she is still much higher.
She does do the traditional inside chores while I do outside, her cooking is very much heat and eat. I do the cooking for entertaining or when we have something more elaborate, I am also the baker for work treats and in a very female dominated workplace.
My kids enjoy when she goes away for work, although they miss her, my food is always more glammed up than the normal meat and veg with some of my specialties with ingredients my wife does not like.
I would happily be the housewife, while we could do it financially but she wants a husband that works. The short countdown to retirement is on.

[Monique65]

My wife and I split domestic chores evenly. When she volunteered one day a week at a local non-profit, I would dress fully to do the housework. Now, with her acceptance, I wear panties, bra, and a gown whenever I am in the house no matter what I’m doing.

[Sherrii]

I have to agree with you. Very fee women do traditional male home chores or maintenance around the home.

[Stephanie47]

My wife and I share the domestic chores. We do not "assign" any particular chore to one spouse. What needs to get done, gets done. I do the majority of meal preparation and cooking. My wife does not drive due to a depth-perception problem, so that chores has fallen to me. I retired first, so I did have ample opportunity to accomplish more domestic chores during the day. That also afforded opportunity to spend the days she did work attired a la June Cleaver: dresses, hosiery and heels and all the proper undergarments. With advancing age limitations the outside chores do fall upon me. When both spouses are retired, each has lots of time on their hands. That's when the marital troubles can arise, when one spouse does not lift a hand to help and do any chores. How many marriages are in turmoil because the husband and wife both work, but child care and domestic chores fall on the wife while hubby pops and cold one and watches sports? Or takes off to hang out with his male drinking buddies?

[BLUE ORCHID]

As my Wife has been on O2, 24-7 for 7 years now, We are both in our 80's ,her Breathing problems has me taking on so much more of the choirs.

I do what ever i can to make her life better, She still does the Cooking & Bowls Duckpins once a week, She is worn out when she gets Home.

I just finished changing the Bed Sheets, We are two Months from our 62nd Anniversary,

[NancySue]

Many moons ago, before we walked the aisle, we spent many enjoyable hours just chatting. We?re both first borne, with very traditional midwestern families. It?s during one of these talks that, with great trepidation, I told her of my little hobby. Actually, she was kinda fascinated and didn?t see any problems (whew). During our working years, we had no problem regarding who did what. I?d occasionally cook, she?d occasionally mow the grass. It worked for us. If it ain?t broke, etc. In retirement, things haven?t changed. We pretty much help each other. Get ?er done is our call, then play, rest, etc.

[Maria 60]

I got a taste of it last week. I mentioned before that my wife got into a bad car accident years ago when our children were young. I instantly stepped up and took over the household, she's much better now but has her days. Last week my wife brought her parents and Uncle and aunt to visit a very sick elderly relative in a hospital in our downtown of our city. She called me and told me she was running late and to order some pizza for them. I know that older generation dont like take out food so I made a pasta dish, veal cutlets, vegetables and salad. If you know any traditional European men they have no idea what's in a refrigerator and have no idea how to turn on a stove. My mother in law literally takes his clothes out every morning and puts them on his bed to wear for that day and if she goes out for the day he will literally starve.
When they got back and finished eating instead of some appreciation for cooking for them her uncle makes a cheep comment to me that I'll make a good wife for someone one day HA HA HA! Then asked his wife he she has a skirt my size to give to me. I took it on the shoulder and laughed and I cleaned the table and made coffee for them. The mother in law then tells me that my wife feels better these day and in case I didn't notice she has arms and legs and not to spoil her like I'm doing. She believes her daughter, my wife is milking it and that women don't appreciate anything they just take advantage. The funny part is this is coming from a women. I told her my wife just drove 2 hours in traffic and she could use the break. After they left I told my wife the comment her uncle and mom made and she said her mothers just jealous because my father in law never helped her around the house. One would think a mother would be happy that there daughter found a husband to help her. Boy do I ever know about female roles and how others view when men do them.
How can't I help my wife for everything she does for me, especially all the support for my crossdressing.

[Brenda Freeman]

My wife and I decided when we had children that she would take care of the house, cooking etc. I Worked a job that had me on call alot so regular hours + a lot of after hour surprises. When I finally retired kids out of the house I wondered what is my wife retiring from? So I took on more of the cooking, laundry etc. We seem to have struck a nice balance and enjoy our own activities plus sharing time together.

[HollyGreene]

My wife comes from a fairly remote village in an Eastern European country where they still have "traditional" gender roles. It's like they are still in the 1950s.
So she thinks it's her responsibility to do the cleaning and laundry, and does most of it.
However, she's not a very good cook, and I am particularly good at cooking, so I do most of that, but it has no connection with my dressing - I have always enjoyed it.

[DianeT]

Not being misogynistic here, but at least here in the USA the push is still alive and well as to traditional female roles. Being women do the cooking and cleaning men are the bread winners. Right, wrong, whatever, it?s still very much what is.
Btw, cave women were breadwinners as much as cave men. Recent advances in science show that hunters were selected not based on gender but competency, and that women had genetics and a metabolism that favored endurance (they could run longer than men) and efficiency (running the same distance with less energy than men, thanks to... the swaying of their hips), a decisive advantage in hunting where the key is to track for extended hours and distances (https://www.bbc.co.uk/newsround/67511097.amp). And in nature, examples abound where genders roles aren't so partitioned as your examples and often quite opposite (see Emperor penguins where the male protects the egg, lions where the male protects the family as an expendable asset while the lionesses hunt in packs). So the "traditional female roles" aren't any natural, and these "traditions" aren't any traditional as soon as you look beyond a very recent past prehistorically and historically speaking. Let's not forget that most of history and science literature was written by men with a male point of view, and for a very long time. Women were overshadowed and their contributions often ignored (a modern example with ADN https://www.nature.com/articles/d41586-023-01313-5), but their contributions remain, and they were decisive for humanity.
As transgenders we should be proud of course to try to imitate, and for some of us, to try and live up to, such powerful beings.

[Rochal Tukque]

Culture here is the driving factor. That is exactly why I said right, wrong, or whatever. At the time my sister became an airline pilot companies could actually state a very misogynistic reason. They told her in writing she was to tall and her breasts were not big enough to be a flight attendant! So she called their bluff and applied for flight training. It was hell in a male dominated industry. I worked in my mom?s sewing and really enjoyed it. That stigma followed me all through high school. How many men get weird about about hanging around the women?s underwear section in a store. Culture, culture, culture. I?m not on anybody?s liberation wagon. I simply found my attracted to some of those cultural female roles. Opps. Definitely not looking to debate the science it just not that serious of a question.
Hugs Rochal

[susants]

I do all the household chores now that I;m retired . When I worked it was about 50/50
It seams to me that I always enjoyed them more so now i do all now always dressed but sometimes
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i0BpSB6LFIY&t=4s