PDA

View Full Version : Just Checking



Brianna Lovely
04-21-2006, 04:39 AM
This is my first post, so I’m a little nervous, but here goes.
Just checking on my own reality, my perception of the people around me.

A little about me.
I’m a person who discovered that he was gay, late in life. Although I’ve been married, twice, I always knew something was missing, not quite right.

After reading about gay men in early cultures, I discovered that they were loved and honored by their tribal societies. They were the Medicine Men, the Peace Makers the Healers. Ancient peoples believed that gay men had two Spirits, that they were “Twice Blessed” by God.

Well, after giving myself about five years of self-reflection, I have come to realize that I am a man and a woman, at the same time.
Yes, I like to “dress”, but I don’t have to, to feel like a woman, because I’m both every day.

Although it’s come as a surprise to me (being 59 yo, 6’ tall and 200 lbs), many gay men have given me wonderful compliments, even though I was dressed in drab. I’ve been called, “so sweet”, “beautiful”, “lovely” and “gorgeous” and I must admit I’ve blushed.

Then it dawned on me. They were not complimenting me on my clothes, my mannerisms, or my body. They were SEEING the real me, the woman, the man, the person I really am.

Last year my room-mate Charlie (a gay man) and I were in San Francisco, CA, being our first time there, we stopped into the GLBT Community Center, to pick up some local information.

The clerk behind the counter was about 6’2” and he was fully “dressed”. “She” was very kind and helpful. I saw her for who she was and felt so much love for her.
Before we left, I told her that she was lovely and thanked her for all her help. When we got outside, Charlie said that he thought it was terrible to have a man in a dress helping people at the Center.
His statement took me by surprise. I had been in the closet as far as my dressing goes and now find out that my room-mate is a prejudice person.

Well, after reading this forum for a few days, I decided that I’m going to be who I am, no matter what anyone thinks.

So I did my nails, put on my favorite bra, a nice flowered top, my denim shorts and my new strapped tan sandals and off to Wal-Mart’s and the Post Office I went. I loved going out among the general population. Now, if woman would only stop trying to look like men, I may get away with wearing a skirt and top, without creating too much of a stir, giggle, giggle.

Hugs,
Brianna

Dragster
04-21-2006, 05:34 AM
No need to be nervous Brianna, though I suppose I was too when I made my first post. I know you'll get sympathetic treatment here, they're a great supportive bunch.
My circumstances are quite different to yours, I'm straight and have been partly dressing for most of my 61 years, but I can still relate to your feelings. Did you tell Charlie that you disagreed with him? Could be a first step to coming out, if that is what you really want to do.

All the best,
Tony

Eugenie
04-21-2006, 09:11 AM
This is my first post, so I’m a little nervous, but here goes.
Just checking on my own reality, my perception of the people around me.

Well, so far readers of this forum have been exceptionally tolerant so you should not feel nervous at all. Your intro here is very moving. You must be a very nice person to be with.


The clerk behind the counter was about 6’2” and he was fully “dressed”. “She” was very kind and helpful. I saw her for who she was and felt so much love for her.
Before we left, I told her that she was lovely and thanked her for all her help. When we got outside, Charlie said that he thought it was terrible to have a man in a dress helping people at the Center.
His statement took me by surprise. I had been in the closet as far as my dressing goes and now find out that my room-mate is a prejudice person.


That is an attitude that a few gay and lesbian activists have sometimes. The image of "transvestites" as often carried in the press is seen by them as what they are fighting. Most have hated the movie "La cage aux Folles" because of the fact that "Zaza" was dressing up "en femme".

I work with a group of advocates against all sorts of discriminations. That includes discrimination on ethnic group, age, disabilities, poverty, homelesness, gender and sexual preference. Some members of the LGBT group mentionned this problem and their will to show a very different image of homosexuality. But once one explains our position, they tend to understand.

The other group that isn't too keen on accepting us is the "Women's lobby". And indeed we are often using stereotypes of feminisation aginst which they have been fighting for the past 40 years... Remember the "burning bras happennings" ?

There too, explanations are helping, even though it is more of an up hill battle...

Even though my own advocacy group is with people with disabilities, I often try to get our point of view to these LGBT and Women's Lobby groups. I have to be cautious though as my a constituency didn't elected me to fight that battle...

Love.

Eugenie

Brianna Lovely
04-21-2006, 09:15 AM
Thank you for your reply, Tony.
Yes, I did tell Charlie that I was surprised by his comment about the lovely counter gurl.
But more than being surprised, I was hurt. To me it seemed like a mean thing to say about such a beautiful person and it made me wonder what he would think of me.
Today, I really don't care. Charlie can either except me the way I am or not, I'm still going to be the lovely / loving person I am.
Hugs,
Brianna

Brianna Lovely
04-21-2006, 09:23 AM
Thank you Eugenie. I do hope that over time people will become more accepting of people who are different from the accepted "norm".
I think we all need a little love and we need to "see" the beauty inside the people we meet.
Hugs,
Brianna

Eugenie
04-21-2006, 09:33 AM
Thank you Eugenie. I do hope that over time people will become more accepting of people who are different from the accepted "norm".
I think we all need a little love and we need to "see" the beauty inside the people we meet.
Hugs,
Brianna

I'm glad my messages pleased you.

I forgott to mention that I did a coming out to a few of the LGBT advocates I work with. I had a very positive response from them. So not all homosexual people have a negative feeling about us, unless it was due to the the fact that I openly spoke to them and they knew me and respected me before my coming out.

I have not yet gotten to the point to speak of my x-dressing to the "Women's lobby" advocates... It seems far more difficult an endeavour than talking to the LGBT group...

Love.

Eugenie

Casey Morgan
04-21-2006, 09:39 AM
Today, I really don't care. Charlie can either except me the way I am or not, I'm still going to be the lovely / loving person I am.

That's the spirit. We all have our issues to deal with, and crossdressing sounds like one of Charlie's.

Too bad that incident happened in the GLBT center. I would have loved to see the expression on his face if you could have come back with "true, but thank god he wasn't gay". I'm sure he knows just how hurtful things like that can be.

I know you're gay and Charlie's not a crossdresser. Hopefully it doesn't sound like I've gotten myself confused.

Brianna Lovely
04-21-2006, 10:25 AM
Too bad that incident happened in the GLBT center. I would have loved to see the expression on his face if you could have come back with "true, but thank god he wasn't gay". I'm sure he knows just how hurtful things like that can be.

Shari Ann,
If there is one thing that I've learned over the years, it's that you have to love yourself, before you can love someone else.

Maybe it's just the love in me, but I see the joy and love in many people and it makes me glow inside.
Brianna

Casey Morgan
04-21-2006, 10:47 AM
You're a stronger person than I, my friend. That would have been a terrible thing to do to him.

Can I borrow your shoulders for a bit?