The Root Cause of Feminiity in Men

[Dana]

Just another example of Great Wall of Ignorance!

"DEAR ABBY: My husband, "Ron," and I are at odds over parenting our 7-year-old son, "Brett." My husband is very domestic. He cooks like a world-class chef and does more housework than any man I know of.
I have read Dr. James Dobson's books on family. He clearly states that a father should be the manly role model for the son, to prevent the son from being homosexual. I'm concerned that Brett will learn feminine ways from my husband and turn out to be gay. How can I convince Ron that he needs to teach Brett the more manly things in life? -- WORRIED MOM IN FLORIDA

DEAR WORRIED MOM: From my perspective, you don't need to change a thing. With all due respect to Dr. Dobson, your husband is already a manly role model to your son. He is teaching the boy important survival skills that will be invaluable when he is older. With luck, your son will turn out to be every bit the man -- and father -- that your husband is."

Here's the link:

http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20060421

[ReginaK]

I can't stand people who think that way. They think anything other than sitting around, farting, scratching, and drinking beer makes you gay. Heaven forbid a man cooks! He'll make all his kids gay!

[Maureen Henley]

[QUOTE=Dana]Just another example of Great Wall of Ignorance!

"DEAR ABBY: My husband, "Ron," and I are at odds over parenting our 7-year-old son, "Brett." My husband is very domestic. He cooks like a world-class chef and does more housework than any man I know of.
I have read Dr. James Dobson's books on family. He clearly states that a father should be the manly role model for the son, to prevent the son from being homosexual. I'm concerned that Brett will learn feminine ways from my husband and turn out to be gay. How can I convince Ron that he needs to teach Brett the more manly things in life? -- WORRIED MOM IN FLORIDA

Let's hear it for the American Taliban!:thumbsdn:

[Susan Johnson]

Hi folks, I do most of the cooking in our home although this started out because of working shifts it was more convenient for both of us with my wife also working. Both our sons now cook in their homes including pastry cakes etc. Doing the cooking is a job that either sex can do regardless of orientation. :D :D

[MarinaTwelve200]

Yes, what the devil does Knowing how to cook, sew on a button , wash your clothes or clean the house up after yourself have to do with sexual orentation?

These are skills necessary for the survival of ANYONE, especially if you live alone. I HAVE seen a few men that WERE lacking in these skills and/or refused to do them.(because of the myths)---It was a wonder they didnt die wallowing in their own filth.

Alas, it IS indeed amazing how many adults have no clear ideas about sexual orentation and "gayness" etc. They get a junior high school idea from their locker room buddies and hold on to that nonsense the rest of their lives--never bothering to study it further or read an actual BOOK on the subject. even Nationaly famous DOCTORS as mentioned above are equally as ignorant as a school boy when the subject of "Homosexuality" is out of their range of experteese.

Even Dr. Laura Slesenger, whom I have admired for her psycho-social experteese, falls apart when she encounters he ocasional call from a person concerning CD----She begins a rambling rant about how her radio show isnt a substitute for serious tharapy and "the complex issues of Homosexuality"---as if SHE equates CDing to Gayness herself.

[Teresa Amina]

Is it Imam Dobson or Ayatollah Dobson? Scary bunch over there on the religious right!

None are so sure as those who are surely Wrong!

[Sharon B.]

I was taught at an early age to cook, learn how to sew a button on or simple mending of fabrics, how to do laundry and how to iron as this is basic things you need to know how to do.
One of things I was never taught to do was clean house, and anyone can tell if they ever walked into my home.
When I dressing as a woman every chance I had up until about six months ago I would keep my home neat and tidy as a woman would.
The person I was seeing at the time broke the relationship off and told a few of her female friends that I enjoyed dressing as a woman or that I wanted to become one.
Truths hurts sometimes. Yes I enjoy dressing as a woman and at times wonder what it would be like to be a woman.
So to give that male image that I am a male I live like a slob (typical male image) to most folks.
I will grieve a bit more than go back to old habits and start dressing as a woman every chance I get and decorate my home in a more feminine image and start keeping it clean.

[ChristineRenee]

I read this article too and was absolutely incredulous. It is scary that there is still this kind of unevolved thinking going on in this day and age.:sad:

[miss_sarah]

I knew exactly where this was headed and nearly stopped upon reaching this sentence:


I have read Dr. James Dobson's books on family.


:rolleyes:

[Georgette]

Maybe we better get the military to quit having its members do the laundry, clean the barricks, sew buttons on mend there clothes, oh yes do the cooking.
What a bunch of rightous pruds.+?

[Georgette]

I just read an article on the water supply of the 4 corners area of States and they get most of there water from Lake Meade, and the article went on to say that the purifying process can remove everything in the water,( now here it is so don't say yeh right) except Hormones so what happens to the estrogen and all of the other hormones that we injest they go right through the waste processing plants right into the drinking water that has been purified enough to pass the purity test, the hormones STAY for us to injest.
OK thats my 2 bits worth but hey think about it, in the article it stated that an 8 year old girl had armpit hair and was developing breasts, go figure.0.02

[kittypw GG]

Yes it is a sad state of affairs. My very own sister is caught up in the whole Dabson, focus on the family, right wing Republican thing. I asked her once if she read the newpaper and she told me that her husband tells her what she needs to know :eek: Her husband didn't want their children to go to public school because they teach them to be gay there. I couldn't believe it. I asked him then is he gay? He went to public school. Lets just say I'm not the favorite sister in law. :D Kitty

[Dana]

I'm reminedof the old Jerry Reed Country Song ~ (A great spirit ~ is he) who got married because he didn't know how to cook or clean house ~ and ended up being ecomically raped in divorce court ~ in the song ~ he said, "It would have been cheaper just to learn how to cook!" The name of the song is, "She Got The Gold Mine, and I Got The Shaft" (sic, "The judge split it up 50/50, but she got the better half.")


ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!

In looking for the lyrics, I found another song of his ~ that he wrote! Here's for your enjoyment!

Artist: Jerry Reed Tabs/Chords
Song: Tryin Stuff On Tab


TRYIN' STUFF ON
(To The Tune of Digging Up Bones)As recorded by Jerry Reed

I dug out your photograph from our old dresser drawer
I set it on the table and I talked to it till four
Then I saw your nightie on the table by the phone
So I been sittin' a lone, tryin' stuff on.

Then I looked through your jewelry, for your clip on hoop ear rings
Your lipstick and your make-up, your accessories and things
Then I plundered throught your closet, till I found an extra long wig
And I've been sittin' at home tryin' stuff on.

CHORUS
Trying stuff on, I'm tryin' stuff on
Your six-inch heels and your Faberge cologne
Yes, you left me with your mem'ries and the wardrobe that you owned
Now I've been sittin' at home tryin' stuff on.

I put on your sequined ball gown and I checked the mirror there
Why, I look like Cindy Crawford, but with much more body hair
And then I thought, I'm much too cute, to sit here all alone
So I'm at happy hour with your stuff on.

A trucker made a pass at me, so I hit him with your purse
And the police stepped between us, before it could get worse
And then the nice policeman said, can I take you home
He didn't know it was me, with your stuff on.

(CHORUS #2)
With your stuff on, I got your stuff on
Your fish-net hose and your dress of pink chiffon
Oh, you left me with your mem'ries and the wardrobe that you owned
But I don't pay for drinks with your stuff on.

[Joy Carter]

[QUOTE=Georgette]I just read an article on the water supply of the 4 corners area of States and they get most of there water from Lake Meade, and the article went on to say that the purifying process can remove everything in the water,( now here it is so don't say yeh right) except Hormones so what happens to the estrogen and all of the other hormones that we injest they go right through the waste processing plants right into the drinking water that has been purified enough to pass the purity test, the hormones STAY for us to injest.

Infertilaty in men is on the rise birth rate of female babys are out pacing the male one's something to think about ! Hey I'm a republican (Ragan- Bush 2)right wing conservative and belive in God and I cd. I'm sorry but I was born this way, CD that is.

[Shelly Preston]

Its scary that he has so much influence.

This guy must have the middlie name of adolf

Has anyone seen his Loincloth and Club

[Jennaie]

I wonder what it is that this woman loves about her husband if she does not want to have her son learn from him.

It seems so ironic, we hear so many women complain that their husbands never help with the cooking, cleaning, etc.. yet, here is a man whom I would consider a very good husband and this is how his wife responds.

I don't understand it. I don't think this woman deserves him.

[gennee]

I applaud your husband and you should too. I learned to cook, clean house, and iron my clothes by the time I was eight years old. It's equally important to know these basic skills. I'm proud that I know how to do these things just as much as I know how to throw a ball. I enjoy cooking as much as sports. I'm 57 now, and these life lessons have served me well. Your husband is a being a man to your son. I understand where Dr. Dobson is coming from and it wouldn't hurt to do manly things. Sexuality has nothing to do with domestic work.

Gennee

[kathy gg]

For what it is woth, there are some great books that teach great parenting skills {at least for the first years} and that is the
"what to Expect" series. The books talk about same sex couples and gives positive examples regarding children who are not stereotypical in their play and behavior. It is in q &a format and when these questions come up the asnwers are things which are just like we are saying "a guy who can help with household chores, be a sensative and loving" has nothing to do with sexual orientation.

Anyway...I know nothing about this Dobson guy but can tell you right now if that is the kind of homophobic advice he gives he is not on my best seller list!

[Jillian310]

The first three months of my four year enlistment in the USAF in 1954 were devoted 50 -50 between the basics of military things like marching, shooting, etc, and doing domestic chores, i.e. KP, scrubbing latrines (toilets to you non military girls), dusting, washing windows, scrubbing the showers, making beds, doing laundry, and when naughty, scrubbing the barracks floor with a toothbrush - yes, that really happened! I learned to cook befor I enlisted at 17 by working in a dairy store that served hot lunches. If Dobson is right - -and he clearly is not - - the entire WWII generation of military men must have been gay. My wifey is so happy that I can do these things and share so much with her. I do most of the cooking here, including the stuffed Thanksgiving turkey and the Easter ham, to name a couple. And we always serve at least 10 guests at those meals! I am very comfortable in my skin as an equal partner in this relationship!

[MsEva]

I do most of the cooking in our home as my DW tutors almost every afternoon. I have a pretty cushy teaching job so I get home much earlier, help daughter with homework (except Geometry...yuck) cook dinner, do the dishes. I guess I could get her her pipe and slippers when she gets home:cheeky: Ward, I am worried about the Beaver.

[Jodie_Lynn]

I knew it! I knew it!

Its all my Moms fault. That day she asked me to help her make cookies. I could feel the "gayness' just flowing into me......



God how I hate ignorant people.

[Phyliss]

Beside the cooking, cleaning, sewing, laundry stuff I suppose the worst SIN a man could commit is to teach their sons how to respect women and treat them with dignity. Rather than instruct then in how to "slap'em around" and call them b---- (well, it rhymes with itch) .

My wife has bragged to other women about my "house hold chores ability" and I've seen the green envy in their eyes that they wish their husband would do half of what I do. Yet I can sit on a couch and "scratch" my privates and belch to rattle the widows.

[Josi]

FOUR FRIENDS AT A PARTY

Four friends, who hadn't seen each other in 30 years, reunited at a party. After several drinks, one of the men had to use the rest room. Those who remained talked about their kids.

The first guy said, "My son is my pride and joy. He started working at a successful company at the bottom of the barrel. He studied Economics and Business Administration and soon began to climb the corporate ladder and now he's the president of the company. He became so rich that he gave his best friend a top of the line Mercedes for his birthday."

The second guy said, "Darn, that's terrific! My son is also my pride and joy. He started working for a big airline, and then went to flight school to become a pilot. Eventually he became a partner in the company, where he owns the majority of its assets. He's so rich that he gave his best friend a brand new jet for his birthday."

The third man said: "Well, that's terrific! My son studied in the best universities and became an engineer. Then he started his own construction company and is now a multimillionaire. He also gave away something very nice and expensive to his best friend for his birthday: A 30,000 square foot mansion."

The three friends congratulated each other just as the fourth returned from the restroom and asked: "What are all the congratulations for?" One of the three said: "We were talking about the pride we feel for the successes of our sons. ..What about your son?"

The fourth man replied: "My son is gay and makes a living dancing as a stripper at a nightclub." The three friends said: "What a shame...what a disappointment."

The fourth man replied: "No, I'm not ashamed. He's my son and I love
him. And he hasn't done too bad either. His birthday was two weeks
ago, and he received a beautiful 30,000 square foot mansion, a brand
new jet and a top of the line Mercedes from his three boyfriends."

!!!

[Jodie_Lynn]

ROFL

That is too funny!

[michelle19845]

every time the media can find someone with an idea that regardless how stupid,rediculous,ignorant,or intelligent ,they put it out there to boost their ratings and expect others to think more of them.there are pry very few CDers that came from such a reason.besides,it's been said that if someone is gay (queer), they are born with it.it don't just happen over a few weeks.the media always stirs things up.



michelle19845

[ronda]

she is complaining because he can cook and clean better then she can and he does it all and now she does not feel like a woman because she sit and watches tv and drinks beer and farts 0.02 :D :D

[CammyT]

Aloha,
So, if I didn't move out of the house, didn't live on my own, Had a private school education, to include an Ivy league or "Big Ten" Collage, I would've been "straight"? Hmmm let's see..... went through the public school system, out on my own, got my degree from a public University.
Spent 25 years in the Army, Infantry (enlisted)and SF (Officer). Funny most of the guys I know of could cook, keep there places very clean, do laundry, iron, sew on patches, mend buttons and stitch tears in their uniforms. So, I guess most men i know in the Army are gay!:cheeky: Wouldn't that be interesting, NO straights allowed in the military!:p

[Janice Ann]

Is this 2006 ? are we still reading those self help books, Back in the early 80s I got a divorce- got custody of my 2 daughters- 8 and 10- one day one of the girls said -- I like macoroni and cheese but not 3 times a week---
So coming from a family that boys always did this and girls always did that-- I had to learn how to cook- be the soccer mom, Dad, everything !!
Now my daughters have their own familys-- BUT one big differnce is everyone gets a chance to cook, clean, I wished my parents had given me the oppurtuniy to cook, shop, all those so called feminine things-- call it wimpy, girly,--- Hey that is all part of life- 0.02 to share and enjoy.
Now is that what made me a crossdresser ? NO ! I have had those tedicies since early chidhood-- Now at age 65 I am finally going for the brass ring--
Just be all I can be- Janice Ann

[pantyhosej]

When my future wife moved in (now divorced), she said she can cook and will do it as much as she can....well after the 2nd time she cooked I decided I will do the cooking from then on!!! she had 1 meal she did good but the rest of her cooking.......anyways i have become a very good & creative cook and guess what IM NOT GAY, im just normal guy and like all you other ladies we offer something extra....lol
Pantyhosej

[Dana]

FOUR FRIENDS AT A PARTY

Four friends, who hadn't seen each other in 30 years, reunited at a party. After several drinks, one of the men had to use the rest room. Those who remained talked about their kids.

The first guy said, "My son is my pride and joy. He started working at a successful company at the bottom of the barrel. He studied Economics and Business Administration and soon began to climb the corporate ladder and now he's the president of the company. He became so rich that he gave his best friend a top of the line Mercedes for his birthday."

The second guy said, "Darn, that's terrific! My son is also my pride and joy. He started working for a big airline, and then went to flight school to become a pilot. Eventually he became a partner in the company, where he owns the majority of its assets. He's so rich that he gave his best friend a brand new jet for his birthday."

The third man said: "Well, that's terrific! My son studied in the best universities and became an engineer. Then he started his own construction company and is now a multimillionaire. He also gave away something very nice and expensive to his best friend for his birthday: A 30,000 square foot mansion."

The three friends congratulated each other just as the fourth returned from the restroom and asked: "What are all the congratulations for?" One of the three said: "We were talking about the pride we feel for the successes of our sons. ..What about your son?"

The fourth man replied: "My son is gay and makes a living dancing as a stripper at a nightclub." The three friends said: "What a shame...what a disappointment."

The fourth man replied: "No, I'm not ashamed. He's my son and I love
him. And he hasn't done too bad either. His birthday was two weeks
ago, and he received a beautiful 30,000 square foot mansion, a brand
new jet and a top of the line Mercedes from his three boyfriends."

!!!

Love British humor! LOL!

[rhonda jane]

I have actually stood on the marker at Four Corners. Have you done the same?

[Bev06 GG]

Hi Dana,
As a practising Christian I am aware of Doctor Dobsons teachings on homosexuality, its route causes and in his opinion the fact that it can be prevented. Whilst I do think he is very radical in his approach and I am not jumping to his defence because I for one have not done the ammount of research that he has done. However, correct me if im wrong I dont believe that he actually said that cooking, cleaning and household chores are responsible for homosexuality. He was infering that distant fatherhood, and overbearing mothers were responsible. Now I for one am not saying that I agree with this, I really do not know. The human psychi is such a complex thing that allsorts of factors can be attributable to our behaviour, not least our childhood experiences.
My church is extremely evangelical too, but it is never taught that boys shouldn't help mum with the housework or realise his responsibilities from an early age, infact quite the opposite is encouraged. And it is certainly never implied that these responsibilities are just womanly tasks, and dangerous for boys to undertake lest they become Gay. And like him or hate him, alot of Doctor Dobsons advise is good and solid. Never the less one has to ask, if this is what he is teaching, where does that leave Chefs, Male Ballet Dancers, Male nurses, and a whole host of other professions. I cannot see that all of these caring males have gay tendancies.
Take care
BEVxxxx

[Julie.]

Yet I can sit on a couch and "scratch" my privates and belch to rattle the widows.

Sorry to be off topic... but

if that is a typo...

then its a damn funny one :D

Mr S

... widows indeed ...

[Siobhan Marie]

I live alone, and if I didn't cook, clean, wash my clothes and iron them then I'd starve to death, live in a mess, wear dirty and creased clothes. Which I don't and won't do!!

Hugs Anna x

[Kaelin]

What worries me most is that this woman's poor son might turn out to be gay via mere coincidence and, like so many, be outcast from the family for it. Given her predisposition she seems likely to blame the husband, thusly resulting in a divorce as well.


Ignorance shall be the damnation of the species. :mad:

[WendyCD]

Hi

It seems to me that the writer doesn't understand what it is to be a man. (I'm still trying to understand!!) Her premise that cooking and cleaning are not "manly", however, is obviously defective.

The writer does a great disservice to Dr. Dobson to reach the conclusion that Dr. Dobson, himself, would predict that her son would become homosexual because her husband likes a clean house and tasty food. It is the people who read conservative viewpoints and then missunderstand and crusade that scare me more than *most* reasonable writers.

Like Bev, I am not here to defend (or suppport) Dr. Dobson. We have four kids. Our excellent local newspaper runs Dr. Dobson's column (conservative - duh) AND The Family Project's column (liberal). I almost always appreciate Dr. Dobson's advice and insight (he can be very compassionate) more than The Family Project's. However, I have never seen Dr. D discuss T-issues.

I can say, that if I had to guess - The Family Project would be more accepting and supportive if a son presented himself in a dress and make-up than Dr. D.

My two cents. Love these kinds of topics.

[janedoe311]

James C. Dobson is a conservative Protestant Christian with a PHD. He is one of those religious nuts that believes you can make a homosexual and it is a chosen lifestyle!

I am surprised anyone other a conservative Christian would take him seriously. He ignores all scientific research, there are even brain scans that show that the average homosexual male has a “different” brain structure than a “normal” male.

[kwebb]

I'll bet ya I know very well what he'd have to say about us.

[janedoe311]

They only reason “feminism" in men is not accepted, is this society. It should not be necessary for a man to get dressed up express his feminine side.

So in a way this question is not necessary. Because any healthy person has both a feminine and masculine side the only difference is that it is okay for women to be masculine, but men have to hold in their feminine side.

Gender ID and sexual preference are brain functions. I am sure eventually they will be able to say exactly which part of they brain is the Gender ID and which part controls the sexual ie gender preference. One and or both get “feminized” by no doubt many causes.

[Kate Simmons]

Geez, With thinking like this woman has, no wonder this country is in such deep fecal material. That's the same kind of thinking that says a guy holding his wife's purse at the mall makes him gay. I used to enjoy holding my wife's purse (too much maybe!) but now that I have my own to carry, it ain't such a big deal. My biggest problem is finding stuff in there. Anyway, with homophobic thinking like this, it's no wonder most girls hide in the shadows. It's not easy being who we really are but we do it because we want to and in many cases because we have to. Take care, Ericka