Am I ruining everything?

[Kaelin]

Not sure if this has been dealt with, but I'm curious as to the responses.


As a man who wears some women's clothes openly without ever trying to mask the fact that I'm a man, I've been assuming that this is generally benificial to crossdressers. And whilst I intend to continue my (perhaps futile :( ) struggle to have men and women possess equal rights in all areas, including clothing, I've realised something.

If I (and others like me) were ever successful, that is if men and women could both wear virtually the same things without judgement, wouldn't crossdressing be effectively destroyed? How would you express your desire to be feminine if the clothing was all gender neautral? It seems only breast forms (or taping + stuffing for FtM) and SRS would remain. Does this elimination of masculine/feminine beyond purely physical differences mean that you, as crossdressers, are just as opposed to a gender neutral world as the (don't have a name for them, the anti-cds)?

[Penny]

We all would be open to recieve compliments on how pretty we looked.
I wear my nails long and I polish them. Yesterday one young lady complimented me on how pretty my nails looked and that in itself made me feel pretty. (all of me wasn't so drab after all) I thanked her for her
compliment and I stated to she was very pretty too.

[Ellaine]

If I (and others like me) were ever successful, that is if men and women could both wear virtually the same things without judgement, wouldn't crossdressing be effectively destroyed?

Hi Kaelin :)

Simply being free to choose ones' clothing without fear of peer judgement, doesn't eliminate crossdressing. Folk'll simply wear what they like, as most do now. Men taking to skirts etc may become more popular, but there will allways be those who cannot feel right without prosthetic breasts, wig and make-up etc. Of course freestyle dressing acceptance, would satisfy a percentage, but, Crossdressing will survive. :)

It's about more than "threads" for most of us, isn't it?

[pattied]

Gender is not all about clothing.

I express myself. For that I get refered to as being sensitive, or feminine. I like colors, grooming and beauty products, must be color coordinated and gossipy. I cry at the drop of a hat it seems. All of these are, by societal definition, female attributes. I see myself as female, with a female mind, regardless of my drab-wear or anatomy.

So to answer yor question, in short answer form, I am not oposed to the 'gender-neutral' world, just choose to express my inner person, which happens to be of opposite gender than my external person.

[Jill]

It would seem that this is the old debate of whether or not crossdressing would be as thrilling if it was totally accepted. Imagine growing up in a world where both boys and girls wore dresses and suits. I know if that was the case, and if I had always worn dresses and pantyhose and heels, it wouldn't be the thrill that it has been over the years. Initially, I started doing it because I knew I wasn't supposed to, it was fun. It is a two edged sword if you ask me. With acceptance, we can do what we want but then CDing wouldn't really exist. I hope I answered your question.

[Ellaine]

With acceptance, we can do what we want but then CDing wouldn't really exist.

So what would you call, in a world of acceptance, a male that likes to fully present as female, and not just wear the clothes?:confused:

[julie w]

I have no desire to wear male kilts or skirts ,so for me if womens and mens
clothes were the same it would take the pleasure out of crossdressing

[DonnaT]

Not at all.

If all the men in the world started wearing skirts, that would make me even happier because I could too, although the reason may be different.;)

[Faye Emmette]

The reason for my crossdressing is many and varied.
One, and only one of these, is the 'taboo' factor. This might even be a side benefit to our desire to wear softer and prettier attire.
In a gender neutral society, the taboo would be gone but I'd still be a person who'd be more comfortable in a dress.
I think.

[Sarah Rabbit]

I am not looking for a neutrally dressed world. I would be happy just to be accepted whilst dressed. I do not beleive society will be ever totally neutral. :D

Sarah R. :bunny:

[Beth]

oh imagine being able to go shopping in your miniskirt and knee high boots, without anyone batting an eye lid!

[KimberlyS]

Kaelin, coming from a "guy in a dress" type of cder, you are doing a great job according to me. I just wish I could be doing the same. But we all have choices in life to be made, and I choose not to have my wife and kids deal with what our little town would do to them. Words may not hurt physically, but for a kids and a wife having to deal with them, they do hurt.

So I applaud you. :clap: :cheer:

I have told my wife, until such time as her and this little town/society can accept a guy in a jean skirt, blouse, work boots, and a 2 day beard going to the hardware store, i would continue to leave the house presenting the image of either a guy or gal that society would accept.

KimberlyS-CD
guy in a skirt under cover :cool:

[Joy Carter]

There would be no crossdressing if we were able to dress as we pleased right ! But I think the men's department would possably go out of business if that were so.

[Eugenie]

First level: gender role assignment
Of course X-dressing depends upon a certain level of gender stereotyping. Without it there wouldn't be such a thing as X-dressing (whatever form it may take). The desire to cross the gender boundaries exists in probably all cultures. In some it is institutionalyzed through religious/shamanic/magical taboos and periods when taboos are allowed to be broken.

I saw a "National Geographic type" documentary about a tribe in the Amazon region. At certain periods in the life of the tribe, some of the males wear objects attributed to women and behave in the way normally assigned to women. This behavior is accepted but quite codified.

At this first level, we need to associate certain type of attributes to the gender we want to appropriate to ourselves, even for very short periods of time or very partially. In our "Western world" the main stereotype remains wearing skirts of dresses and using makeup, even though a vast majority of GGs don't regularly dress like that anymore. But we x-dressers 'most of us if not all) are dependants on this.

This, by the way, doesn't make us very popular with women rights advcates...

Second level of analysis, there is more to the willingness to be a woman than wearing a dress (or any feminine apparel in that respect) There is for some of us an in depth desire to feel like a woman, far more profound than the appearances given by clothes and makeup. At that second level, even if the "unisex fashion" was pushed to its extreme, there may not be x-dressed people there would still be x-gendered people trying to experience what it feels to be a woman by whatever means that they find accessible to them. For some it can go as far as surgical sexual reassignment. For most of us this is not accessible for a million of good or bad reasons.

At this feminisation for feminisation sake level, x-gendered people still depend upon some gender identity features like physical appearance: having boobs, forming a waist line, changing one's voice and perhaps also some psycholgical traits attributed to women (keeping in mind that diversity remains the rule of course). So even then it is difficult to escape some sort of gender appearance and role stereotyping.

Note that in my activity outside x-dressing, I belong to an antidiscrimination advocacy group which works with other antidiscrimination groups, including "Women's rights" advocates. It seems that rather than trying to eliminate differences the attitude seems to have moved to respecting them in total freedom. Some have changed the moto from "The right to difference" to "The right to indifference" let me live my way I'll let you live yours.

OOPS sorry for the length of this post...

Love.

Eugenie

[Faye Emmette]

oh imagine being able to go shopping in your miniskirt and knee high boots, without anyone batting an eye lid!
Oh yes indeed !! but was it Oscar Wilde who said "The only thing worse than being talked about (looked at) is not being talked about".
After all those years of being an observer of women, I'd like to think I am observed just a little bit too;)
F.

[Brianna Lovely]

Would CDing exist, if all were equal? MMMM
Oh no, say it's not so. I've just started to CD with clothes that I would / could wear out in public and no, they're not jeans. But after reading this forum for a few days, I've started watching what women are wearing.
Alas, in this area, Florida, the majority are wearing jeans and Tees. I saw one wearing a skirt out of about a hundred woman.

The future????
Psst, hey senior, come over here.
(opening his black trench coat) Want to buy a nice red skirt? Only $100.

[sharifemme]

I'm gettin to the point where I really do not feel comfortable with the term "Crossdresser" to describe who I am. Yes, I crossdress, but it isn't who I am. I am adopting the term "femme" to describe myself. I am a femme and I like to wear dresses, bras, panties, etc. I don't think I am TS but I consider myself transgender. Since there are other things about me that are not normal male gender associated, Femme just seems to fit best.

So if clothing becomes all unisex or men start wearing skirts and dresses, that's OK. They will be men in skirts and dresses and I will be a femme no matter what I wear!

Sharifemme

[TGMarla]

Nope. Whatever floats your boat, honey.

[Ellaine]

I'm gettin to the point where I really do not feel comfortable with the term "Crossdresser" to describe who I am. Yes, I crossdress, but it isn't who I am. I am adopting the term "femme" to describe myself. I am a femme and I like to wear dresses, bras, panties, etc. I don't think I am TS but I consider myself transgender. Since there are other things about me that are not normal male gender associated, Femme just seems to fit best.

Hi Sharifemme Great :cool: and just the job for me too.