Aynthem
04-24-2006, 07:00 PM
OK....
Becky Anderson and I live close to one another. About a month ago we met in drab and talked. It was very cathartic, to open up to someone. As I've mentioned before I told my wife when we were engaged I liked to dress, but after some kinky sex she didn't like it anymore and I tried to give it up after we got married. Well she doesn't know I've started again. I've kept it buried deep, afraid myself of the kinky sex part of it amoung other things.
So to talk with Becky and to feel that it didn't have to be about sex was great. Becky invited me to our local Tri-Ess meeting. Now, I had never done make-up, never did the wig, never really went for it lock, stock and barrel. So I decided, I'd get this together and see what its really like. To look at myself in the mirror and see more than just a bearded guy in a bra and panties. (Yes up until a few days before I met with Becky I had a van dyke.) I tried everything to resist and only made myself feel more guilty.
So Becky gave me a "Parts List" and I went shopping. Wig, cosmentics, dark tights cause I still can't shave, the whole schmeer.
Packed this stuff up in a duffle, gave my wife a very plausible excuse, and set off for the Tri-Ess meeting. It's a really long drive when you keep wanting to talk yourself out of it. But I made it. Becky wasn't there yet so I had a few more minutes to vasilate.
But I went in anyway, into the changing room. The weirdest kinda locker room I ever saw. LOL Even as I stood there with Becky I kept thinking "you can back out." But I kicked off my shoes and reminded myself its like ripping off a bandaid. I got dressed. Panties already on so it was tights, bra, stuffing, skirt, then a quick try on of my top to see if the small area of my chest I shaved was ok. Yes, it was, off with the top, and gather your make up cause now we are saying good bye to Kansas.
Becky guided me as I applied for the first time make-up in the right order the right way. I'm trying to pay attention, not gouge out my eye, and not run away. Now wig. OK, its a little snug but I got think hair and need a hair cut. Some brushing by Becky once again and a look in the mirror.
Hey Not bad. But behind those eyes I still saw...me.
I put on my heels and followed Becky around like a lost puppy the rest of the night. I relaxed at times and got into the conversations. Added my two cents here and there. As I told Becky in an email to her, I quickly got used to the idea of being in a room full of Crossdressers, ME being crossdressed with them kept interupting me every now and again. It was kinda fun at times to goto the restroom to repair some damage to my lipstick and such. But I was still uneasy, bewildered at what I was doing. AS if I was not in control of myself.
I came home after changing back into male mode. Becky noticed how much more relaxed I became in jeans and a t-shirt. I thought of writing my experience here that night. But decided to allow myself to digest my experience. It was a night to remember.
Funny how different I feel and how much I feel exactly the same.
Ayn
Aynthem is just a handle here its Ayn. (edited for spelling and punctuation)
Becky Anderson and I live close to one another. About a month ago we met in drab and talked. It was very cathartic, to open up to someone. As I've mentioned before I told my wife when we were engaged I liked to dress, but after some kinky sex she didn't like it anymore and I tried to give it up after we got married. Well she doesn't know I've started again. I've kept it buried deep, afraid myself of the kinky sex part of it amoung other things.
So to talk with Becky and to feel that it didn't have to be about sex was great. Becky invited me to our local Tri-Ess meeting. Now, I had never done make-up, never did the wig, never really went for it lock, stock and barrel. So I decided, I'd get this together and see what its really like. To look at myself in the mirror and see more than just a bearded guy in a bra and panties. (Yes up until a few days before I met with Becky I had a van dyke.) I tried everything to resist and only made myself feel more guilty.
So Becky gave me a "Parts List" and I went shopping. Wig, cosmentics, dark tights cause I still can't shave, the whole schmeer.
Packed this stuff up in a duffle, gave my wife a very plausible excuse, and set off for the Tri-Ess meeting. It's a really long drive when you keep wanting to talk yourself out of it. But I made it. Becky wasn't there yet so I had a few more minutes to vasilate.
But I went in anyway, into the changing room. The weirdest kinda locker room I ever saw. LOL Even as I stood there with Becky I kept thinking "you can back out." But I kicked off my shoes and reminded myself its like ripping off a bandaid. I got dressed. Panties already on so it was tights, bra, stuffing, skirt, then a quick try on of my top to see if the small area of my chest I shaved was ok. Yes, it was, off with the top, and gather your make up cause now we are saying good bye to Kansas.
Becky guided me as I applied for the first time make-up in the right order the right way. I'm trying to pay attention, not gouge out my eye, and not run away. Now wig. OK, its a little snug but I got think hair and need a hair cut. Some brushing by Becky once again and a look in the mirror.
Hey Not bad. But behind those eyes I still saw...me.
I put on my heels and followed Becky around like a lost puppy the rest of the night. I relaxed at times and got into the conversations. Added my two cents here and there. As I told Becky in an email to her, I quickly got used to the idea of being in a room full of Crossdressers, ME being crossdressed with them kept interupting me every now and again. It was kinda fun at times to goto the restroom to repair some damage to my lipstick and such. But I was still uneasy, bewildered at what I was doing. AS if I was not in control of myself.
I came home after changing back into male mode. Becky noticed how much more relaxed I became in jeans and a t-shirt. I thought of writing my experience here that night. But decided to allow myself to digest my experience. It was a night to remember.
Funny how different I feel and how much I feel exactly the same.
Ayn
Aynthem is just a handle here its Ayn. (edited for spelling and punctuation)