Did you really want to know?

[WendyCD]

Did finding out about your SO's xdressing - whether by accident or having the "talk" - ultimately make your relationship better?

I am blown away by how helpful the "ask the GG's" forum is. You are all so giving.

I am in the closet, but I suspect my wife knows, little things she says. (I'm discreet, I hope, and don't dress often, but I wonder - she knew before we married, and didn't like it, and it went away - sort of, for awhile - but how can anyone "know" anything when only 20 years old???)

Would you rather have NOT known that your SO crossdressed - or - is it better now, that you know?

Thanx

[Tamara Croft]

Did finding out about your SO's xdressing - whether by accident or having the "talk" - ultimately make your relationship better?

My So told me a few months into the relationship. I can't say it made things better, infact for years I think it probably made things worse as I didn't understand it.

Would you rather have NOT known that your SO crossdressed - or - is it better now, that you know?

I think the way I was told made things worse, had he given me some information at the time he told me, I think things would have been better. Things are ok now, because I've educated myself, this is something he should have done, instead of doing this the hard way :(

[Shelley GG]

Hi Wendy

Did finding out about your SO's xdressing - whether by accident or having the "talk" - ultimately make your relationship better?

I was told a few months after we met, so have known for many years, at first I didnt want to know mainly because I had no idea what a TV/CD was. Although I did help out with shopping etc, it has taking me a long time to become fully supportive, but the Internet and support sites have helped no end.

Would you rather have NOT known that your SO crossdressed - or - is it better now, that you know?

Personally I am pleased that I was told right at the beginning of our relationship, but understand why some girls cant bring themselves to do this.

I will say that I enjoy the social aspects now almost as much as my SO does.

Shelley

[Sage GG]

Did finding out about your SO's xdressing - whether by accident or having the "talk" - ultimately make your relationship better?


Yes, Yes, Yes, We had the talk, the past four months have been amazing. We have developed a better,more passionate:happy: more truthful, more fulfilling, more passionate:cheeky:, relationship

I am blown away by how helpful the "ask the GG's" forum is. You are all so giving.

:blushing:

I am in the closet, but I suspect my wife knows, little things she says. (I'm discreet, I hope, and don't dress often, but I wonder - she knew before we married, and didn't like it, and it went away - sort of, for awhile - but how can anyone "know" anything when only 20 years old???)


If she doesn't "know" the truth she will come up with all sorts of scenarios to explain what's going on. Why is he girl watching? Why is he quiet ? Why isn't he happy? her imagination is probably a lot worse than the truth. Mine was.

I will asume that you and your wife are near to each other in age , you have changed and grown why do you think she hasn't grown?


Would you rather have NOT known that your SO crossdressed - or - is it better now, that you know?


Everything is way better, life is not perfect we still have problems, Have you priced gas this week?:eek: but we work it out together. We have been behaving like teenagers, the best side effect is that our Children don't know why Mom and Dad have changed and it's driving them crazy


Thanx

You are quite welcome:c9:

[WendyCD]

Hi

Thanks to all for your thoughtful responses.

I realize my wording wasn't right about "knowing". She and I have grown alot. I don't want to assume that just because I told her years ago she should known then that it wouldn't go away - I wouldn't hold her to that - I wouldn't say "I told You" if I was caught, that would be unfair this many years later, with me hiding it all this time. I wouldn't just say "well you married me anyway" - I respect her to much and would not try to deny accountability. Infact, by being quiet about it, I perputuate the ambiguity - which of course leds to her imagining the worst - as you said.

Thanx for your responses and ALL your posts, not just to this thread. It is helping me through a rough spot.

[dancinginthedark]

Did finding out about your SO's xdressing - whether by accident or having the "talk" - ultimately make your relationship better? He told me several weeks ago. I believe we are closer now and things make a whole lot more sense too. Keep having those Ah-ha moments.


Would you rather have NOT known that your SO crossdressed - or - is it better now, that you know?

I would rather know. Before I had many doubts and fears, now I know and we talk more. I don't want any more secrets there have been too many as it is.

[rez]

Did finding out about your SO's xdressing - whether by accident or having the "talk" - ultimately make your relationship better?

Yes. He told me just before we got involved (after months of flirting) I respected him so much because of his bravery.

Would you rather have NOT known that your SO crossdressed - or - is it better now, that you know?

no, no way would I have not like to have been told before getting involved.. I'm all about trust

[Anita Mae GG]

I found out about the whole story on accident but we talked about it right away.

I def am glad to know, I feel priviledged to be a part of "Danielle's" life.......

[~Kitty GG~]

I definately am happier knowing. Hiding something so important caused a huge rift between us. So much dishonesty makes trust difficult to say the least. I wanted to really know my husband not just the facade.

And yes it has made our marriage better. We can share our whole lives together now. One of us isn't living a secret life. And also we can get and give support now. There's no more shame or guilt. I've come to see that if I can accept everything then she can probably still love me warts and all and so I can bring things out that I might have struggled with alone before.

Love & Hugs

[BethGG]

Did finding out about your SO's xdressing - whether by accident or having the "talk" - ultimately make your relationship better?
I found out pretty early in our relationship...but I'm willing to bet it made it better, because neither of us is keeping secrets. I would never want either of us to feel like we couldn't be honest and say everything we feel, it just wouldn't feel right to me.

Would you rather have NOT known that your SO crossdressed - or - is it better now, that you know?
Of course I would, why would I want my SO to be lying/hiding himself from me? I think if I'd feel really bad that my SO wouldn't feel comfortable talking to me about stuff. Your SO should be like your best friend.

[WendyCD]

Thanx for all your replies, really.

All of your SO's are lucky to have you, I hope they make you know that. So many kind (and honest!) words. :happy: