The Balance of Power

[osteph]

This question struck me when I was reading the thread started by Suanne where she asked if the GGs thought less of their partners when they discovered that they were crossdressers.
My question is ......Did it change the dynamics in your relationship?
I just wonder if there was any, noticeable, change in the way you related to each other after the crossdressing was known about.

osteph

[Anita Mae GG]

My wife does not really like Toyah tho she accepts her from time to time.
I guess that full dlown crossdressing has grown over the years so its been a gradual change
As for our relationship I dont really think it has affected it as such

C'mon this is the Ask the GG's Forum........

I am assuming if a MtF perspective was desired it would be posted there.......please respect this section

[Anita Mae GG]

To answer your question........

It changed it a little. I am a little more tolerant to my husband. I certainly admire him so so much more, just for having the courage as a man to admit and share his most inner desires with me and begin to accept himself.

I am more understanding and I support him 100000000% I feel we are closer as we now share this special bond between one another.

It truly makes me love him more and respect him more.

[kittypw GG]

The crossdressing did not really change the dynamic of our relationship because it was allways part of it. What changed the dynamic was when my husband thought he was a women trapped in a mans body and obsessed about srs and hormones. He wanted to show me graphic pictures and spent hundreds of hours on the internet. And then his counselor told me he did not want his penis with a smile on her face.:eek: I found out then that I don't want to be married to a man who wants to be a women. I prepared for divorce but stayed in our house because he seemed so unstable at the time. He has since decided that he is not a women trapped in a man's body and does not want to take hormones. Now I am left to try and forget what just happened and go back to "just crossdressing". My husbands confusion was so intense and so traumatic to me that I don't know if I can go back to "just crossdressing". I question everything he does in the way of crossdressing because I am so afraid that he is not telling me the truth. He gets angry when I feel uncomfortable or question his motives which does not help. So I am taking it slow. Kitty

[kittypw GG]

Sherri,
Lots of women trade independance for marriage where they have to be subservient. It has been so for centruies. If you want to be a girl then maybe you should get used to it. Now go back to your corner this is an ask gg forum. :dom:

[kathy gg]

Since I came into this on purpose by some it almost seems like I am handing over 'power' as you say it. Because I choose a partner who liked to crossdress. But really, I think being naturally into this lifestyle for me has been a very rewarding. In many different ways.

I mean, my husband knows that other than cheating or hormones or srs that he can pretty much express as much of his femme side as he needs to. I came into the relationship with some boundaries {as stated} but also left room for negotiation.

I don't think either of us ever viewed my immediate acceptance as 'handing' over power or anything like that.

But I did notice prior to being with my spouse that other guys seemed to almost be willing to give up anything to be with a girl like me. Or made quick promises or possible consessions without thinking just because I was into this. That actually was a turn off. It seemed that they could not separate my acceptance from the other things that make me a whole person. And no woman wants to be viewed in such narrow ways.

Anyway, I hate to say this, but women have been using sex as a tool for centuries. Now sex is no longer just 'sex', most men have fetishes and other angles, I think if one can gain a step up on the ladder by participating and be open to exploration with a partner....well isn't a little power loss on the male side worth that? I mean, you would have your cake and eat it too? Isn't that worth some loss of "percieved" control? I would think so.

Relationships are all about give and take. Not all giving and not all taking. But a balance of both. Everyone is somewhat selfish by nature. I know plenty of couples where the wife is participatory but she also gets to do special things because of her participation. I have seen many couples where the wife lives...well how do you say this....a very nice exsistence with a higher level of comfort...does it help that she is invovled with her hubbys cding? I don't doubt it. And good for her. Good for him to though, right. he gets an accepting wife, which many only dream about.

I often tell women who are really nervous about accepting, that they would be surprised at how the quality of their life might change if they open thier minds more. More sex, more communication, get closer on a higher level, ...some guys are very muh wanting that extra effort.

Just some food for thought.






This question struck me when I was reading the thread started by Suanne where she asked if the GGs thought less of their partners when they discovered that they were crssdressers.
My question is ......Did it change the dynamics in your relationship?
I just wonder if there was any, noticeable, change in the way you related to each other after the crossdressing was known about.

osteph

[dancinginthedark]

This question struck me when I was reading the thread started by Suanne where she asked if the GGs thought less of their partners when they discovered that they were crssdressers.
My question is ......Did it change the dynamics in your relationship?
I just wonder if there was any, noticeable, change in the way you related to each other after the crossdressing was known about.

osteph

Osteph,
Of course things changed. My husband and I have even more respect for one another now. Wasn’t so in the earliest days of having “The Talk” since I freaked out at first. :eek: I feel like that respect is linked to our having a higher level of honesty and communication. Compromise is still something we do to keep us BOTH happy in our marriage. Neither of us gets special privileges because he CD. Although at first it was becoming more about him and we had a power struggle then. He took my acceptance and willingness to learn more as a green light to run with it come h3ll or high waters and that didn’t fly. There are two in a couple and both have the right to be happy and satisfied with life and the relationship. It shouldn’t be about who has all the control in the relationship or putting one or the other’s needs first 100% of the time. Between having it all my way or his way is real life. Both of us give a little but come away feeling like we have a lot.