Am I addicted...or obsessed...?

[Emma_Forbes]

Hi Girls,

Funny day today. Lots of stuff going through my mind. One thing that's been bothering me of late is this. I just love dressing up in ladies' clothes. Ok - no big deal - that's why I'm here after all. However, since I started living on my own, my desire to dress has increased exponentially. I spent some time gardening this morning (in drab) and couldn't wait to get indoors and put my skirt back on. I may not dress completely but I just love wearing my femme wardrobe. I know this probably sounds silly, especially to the GG's here, as clothes are just clothes but I find a real thrill when I'm sitting on my sofa looking at my skirt, bare legs and flats. Why is that?

Furthermore, I'm finding that having to dress in drab to go out is an inconvenience and as soon as I get home, it's back into comfortable clothes. They don't even have to be sexy, just feminine. Even my stretch jeans look and feel great.

Am I addicted to this now? Have I become obsessed with dressing? How much further is this likely to take me? I want to go out en femme but in a safe and organised environment but will that make me want to go out more and more often even to the local shops? What's next after that? Transitioning has never been an issue and I still don't need to follow that road. But is it going to be an issue in the future? It worries me.

Or will I plateau at some point? Will there be a balance? What will that balance be? 50% dressed, 50% not? 75/25? 25/75? I feel happy but confused and any input would be helpful.

Thanks

Em

[Sharon B.]

Emma,
I can relate to what is going on in your life.
I have been living by myself for close to fourteen years now and at times when I would be in drab attire outside working in the yard I would have my feminine undergarments on. From winter time to summer time it would not matter.
I have gone out to the grocery store wearing feminine undergarments under my drab attire and sometimes have worn women's jeans and a feminine top without the bra out. Other times I would have a dress on under some over size male jeans as soon as I could find a safe place I would take the jeans off and put my heels on and drive around for a while.
Last fall and early winter I started to go out completely dressed as a woman during the daylight hours, it felt wonderful and natural to out dressed that way. I hope to continue that later this summer, but right I feel I have reached an plateau, still want dress but still want to be able to have a companion if that is all possible.
Am willing to to give it one more as a male before I give in to being a woman with something extra between her legs.

[Nlenro-nu2]

Hi! I'm Nlenro-nu2 I do the same things And think the same thoughts! But I do know sometimes when one is born the brain says you're one sex
and the body doesn't get the message in time so the body may form the sex that is opposite what you're brain says. Psychologists and Psychiatrists just say that it's a chemical imbalance in the brain. What they really mean is that the brain doesn't balance with the body. It's a bad idea to have Psychologists and Psychiatrists give a crossdresser prescriptions for things like: Seroquel, Risperdol, chlorpromozene or some other similar psychotic drug cause these will shut down the sex receptors in the brain and one winds up with an empty feeling.. don't know what's up or down... sorta like the walking deed! It's a form of misery or hell. Society may be happier but the person sure isn't I know I tried that route and it's just not for me. I rather be a crossdresser than one of the walking dead.

[barbaracd]

I think it is combination of both. I agree with others that I can'twait to change from my male clothes to female garb.I also wear everyday under my work clothes

[CharleneCD]

It could just be that now that your on your own, the fem side of you is enjoying the freedom. I know for myself and what I have heard others say, is that dressing can go in cycles. So you will never realy have a consistant ratio of dressed to drab. Sometimes it may be %25 to %75, and then the next month it may go the opposite way. I wouldn't worry to much, just let things be where you are most comfortable at the time. Dont try to force it one way or the other.

[steffie39]

For most girls, there are peaks and valleys, including me. There are times I love being Steffie but I know I will always go back to being male. If you think about it 24/7, maybe it can be classified as obsession but if you make it one of many parts of your life, it isn't. Balance is the key. My 0.02 .

Steffie

[Kyara]

I wouldn't worry too much about it........I think that Steffie and Charlene are right! Let it flow......it's the only way you are going to discover deep inside the woman in you! Be you! Be Her! Be happy!

[heather_nouveau]

Hi Em!

I have similar issues; whenever I see a beautiful woman, I think she's gorgeous, wish I could be more like HER! I find myself paying more attection to women in general, their clothes, hair, makeup, & shoes! I find myself making mental notes about outfits that I've seen other women wear; I've even asked about a cologne that I really liked and wasn't at all embarrassed!

I think this is all good; but kind of wonder where it's all going to end up for me.

just my two cents,

Hugs,

Heather

[Siobhan Marie]

I love being me and am looking forward to being Anna but like most things it will take time, I think what matters is how you feel about you inside.

Hugs Anna x

[stephanie100]

Yiu decide in the end how far you want it to go. I know I get cranky if i dont dress daily. as for going out dressed en-fem why not it can be fun.
I dont think it happens here in UK but sex retardent drugs !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Steph

[Gail Stauffer]

I live on my own too so I know what it's like to, I dress more often now that I am on my own, not sure where it will lead, have had thoughts of wanting to be a girl full time. I think I could certainly be happy that way but will see where this all leads!!

[Jasmine Ellis]

Just Be Who You Are And Be Happy When Ever You Can. Btw Enjoy Yourself

[Faye Emmette]

..".. What will that balance be? 50% dressed, 50% not? 75/25? 25/75? .."..
Emma, there is no knowing, no number and no need to worry about it. External pressures will limit total freedom but you should enjoy yourself whenever you can.
F.

[bredalee25]

I know where your coming from it's all I think about when i'm at work I drive a forklift and have lots of alone time loading and unloading trucks i'm always thinking of new outfits to wear and different combo's to try. But unfortunately I live with a woman who doesn't except Brenda so I have to wait for alone time to dress

[lela]

I'm dressed in some form 100% of the time I'm home. I'm lucky, I live alone and work from my house. On certain days I don't even take my nightgown off, I just put my makeup on and I'm good for the day. Most days I'm fully dressed, skirt and blouse, or dress, slacks with a pretty top. I too, find it a big inconvenience to have to change back to male mode to go out. And yes, I can't wait to get home to get back into my real clothes. Living alone gives me the freedom to do and wear whatever I want to. Dressing has become a very huge part of my life. I can't remember the last time I was at home dressed in drab. When I'm at home, I'm constantly in my girl mode...and I love it.

[cindybarnes]

Hi Emma,
You may be headed for a plateau like many of us reach. Whats odd is the plateau's keep changing LOL
I worked in my garden this morning while wearing my biggest bra and forms ( I rarley wear the forms or that bra ) . Now I have everything planned what to wear this afternoon as soon as Im sure no company will drop in.
That may not sound strange, but I just jumped on one of those moving plateau's last night and dressed head to toe for the first time in like 8 months. No real reason for the extended lack of girl time, I may have been fully dressing 2 or 3 nights a week when I went into my slump . Big prob is I gained some weight and only 6 or 8 outfits fit last night :)
I cant say if your addicted or not but Im not worrying about it myself

Cindy

[Krystenw]

I was seeing a therapist at one of the places I worked at. She wrote something in my chart every now and again. I told her that I wore womens underware under my scrubs and as soon as I got home I could just take off the scrubs and get into a dress. She tried several different drugs to help me but having severe ADHD most all of them didn't work. After a while I stopped seeing her. I wondered what she had written in my chart so one day I checked it out and went through it. She never wrote anything about me preferring womens clothing. The only thing she wrote other then the medicine dosage was the diagnosis of OCD/ADHD. Obsessive compulsive disorded/Attention deficit hyperactive disorder.
Krysten

[Teresa Amina]

Having been on my own for six months now I can identify with the more frequent dressing. But it's a deeper experience than previously when I would have to be "careful", more an expression of that inner me than a release of tension from repressing the same. I went all last week till last night just wearing a few "symbolic" items; a ring or two, walk around the house for a while in heels, etc. Last night had to have everything, but everything ended up as a very "casual" expression of "Me". Be calm about it and find your "balance'.:)

[EricaCD]

Hi Emma! Not surprised to hear that you are dressing (and thinking about it) more frequently. If you just changed to living on your own, then all of a sudden the main hindrance to dressing as you want, when you want has just vanished. The odd thing would be if you did NOT change your pattern. My guess is that you will soon find a new equilibrium and be happy there. Meanwhile, be sure to enjoy the moment!

Erica

[Emma_Forbes]

Hi All,

Thanks to everyone for their words of encouragement.

I haven't been this happy for a very long time and I have Emma and everyone on this forum to thank for that. I'm having so much fun.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Em

[Xandra]

Hi Emma,

I have found that ever since I started dressing at home on weekend evenings it wasn't too long before I had the desire to do so at least one evening a week as well. At first it really troubled me; after all, none of my family, friends, or work collagues know about "Alex".

I have, however, come to the conclusion that this is an intrinsic part of who I am and have decided to just go with it. It isn't as if I am alone in experiencing such feelings - or for that matter such contradictions.

In point of fact, I am currently on vacation and packed a couple of items in case I need to let that side of me find expression. Crazy as this may have sounded to me in the very recent past it appears far less so now.

All this said, I am still nowhere near being ready to share "Alex" with anyone outside of this forum - nor do I wish to change my sex.

Be kind to yourself - see where it takes you. And remember: There are many just like you and we all seem like decent people, you know....

Take care,

Alex