Confession

[christina1]

I had my first experience with another CD and loved every moment of it. We kissed and made love but the problem is I'm married and my wife is against me being CD and of course doesn't know about my affair. Where do I go from here and how should I handle this.

Christina

[Newbie Beth]

JMHO but it sounds like you and your wife really need to talk about things....

[steffie39]

Hi,

I have an old fashioned view of marriage that there should never be secrets between a man and wife. The question you should ask yourself first is: Was this a one-time thing or can you see yourself doing this again? The reason I say this is because, if you decide to confess to your wife and she wants to work it out, she might wonder about this.

Other wives would not accept this at all but each wife is different. I know mine would never tolerate cheating of any kind and I would never want to hurt her; so I will never do. I'm not making a judgment but just saying cheating for some wives is hard to overlook. However, holding this inside you will also eat away at you too. Honesty, though, is always honorable and a good place to start but then both of you need to communicate your feelings too. Just my 0.02 .

Steffie

[Wenda]

Good advice already. Sounds like a situation laden with undercurrents. Better spend some introspective time thinking about your relationship and your encounter. I am not attracted to other men, en femme or not, so can't really give afirst hand reference. good luck,

[VtVicky]

You need to take a long, deep, breath. And do nothing until you have figured out what it is that you want. Don't waste time on marital counseling at this point. It is you that needs to get some things straight, (no pun intended), in your own head first.

It would be extremely disengenuous of you to ask your wife to invest in counseling to preserve a marriage if you prefer same sex relationships.

Get your own act together before you ask someone else to join you in it.

[Jennaie]

I'm just wondering, the next time you make love to your wife, are you at all concerned about the possibility of giving her an std, like aids? Did you use protection with this man?

I think you should take 3 steps backwards, stop this behavior and seek counseling for yourself. It seems to me that you have allowed your fem side to go too far and in an irresponsible way. I am not saying that same sex relationships are wrong. What I am saying is that you have put your wife in danger as well as yourself.

I am single and I don't even do this kind of thing.

I'm not trying to bash you for what you did, I am simply suggesting that you to step back and think about the repercussions that could result because of it. Whether you care for your wife or not, at least be honest and tell her what your going through.

[Holly]

Christina, you need to prepare for some difficult times. You have cheated on your wife and you have lied to her. Odds makers would not give your relationship with her much chance of survival. You don't tell us much about your relationship with your wife... in fact you say more about your feelings for this other CD. Do you know what you want for yourself? Whatever you decide, you can't leave hurt people in your wake. You made certain commitments to your wife... if you feel you can no longer maintain those commitments better now to disolve the relationship. If you love her, you're going to have to work very hard to keep her. Best wishes to all of you.

[Billijo49504]

OK, you had your 20 minutes of fun. How many years of marriage are you willing to throw away?? Think about it very carefully. Then make your decision. It will be tough. But you have to make a decision. Do you want to be gay or do you want to be married. Just some thing to think about...BJ

[EricaCD]

Can't help you here.

I still feel genuinely awful about concealing my CDing from my wife as long as I did. I will regret that until I die. But I do not rank crossdressing and adultery as equally serious deceptions: the latter is vastly worse even if the former may have a higher "shock value".

I am afraid you are going to have to choose from a series of uniformly awful options. Best of luck ('cause at this point that's all there is).

Erica

[DawnRodgers]

Well, I think your going to have to think through just what your own feelings are and where you want to go from here. We all change over time in our wants, needs and desires.
There is no question that you have made a comitment in marraige but, like it or not, there are always problems that can come about. Only tou can answer the question on your relationship.
You are not the only one involved. Do you truly want to break up the relationship? Can you continue to hide your feelings and needs? Which course of future activity do you really want and need to follow?
Just be aware that the course of continuing on with your search for identity may result in a failure to find a good relationship or to actually live the kind of life that you think you want.
Is there any chance that your wife could let you continue your search for your fem side?
How negative are her actions and reactions to you?
What would nake you the most satisfied?
There are no easy answers or advice to be given. Each situation is unique and the first step may be communication.
I do think that if you continue to experience sexual interaction with others
you will be pulled further and further to your fem side. Society, even here (or especially here?) doesn't seem to think highly of thoise of us who are caught up in this image of ourselves. I too wish there were easy answers. Usually we just go with the flow and wait to see if there is a suitable ending somewhere. Either the relationships we are seeking just don't work out well and that part of us stops searching , our SO's find out through a mistake we make or other means, or we just can't hide it or hold it in any longer.
Good luck in whatever steps you take.
Dawn

[Vicky_Scotland]

I had my first experience with another CD and loved every moment of it. We kissed and made love but the problem is I'm married and my wife is against me being CD and of course doesn't know about my affair. Where do I go from here and how should I handle this.

Christina

Going by the highlighted quote by you then it seems to me that you intend to do it again.

I think you need to be honest to yourself and your wife and decide what you want. Your wife or this affair.......you can never have both. And in all honesty I think what you are doing is a disgrace. I take it you have no respect for your wife, her feelings and more importantly her health.

I am sorry if this sounds harsh but lets not beat about the bush here. You come on here and ask where you should go from here. You should get down to a health clinic and get tested for STD's and hope that you have none, not for your sake but for your poor wifes.

How should I handle it you ask, I do not really care how you handle it. I worry how your poor wife will handle it if she finds out that you have done what you have done. Poor woman.

Take a good look in the mirror and hang your head in shame.

[Joy Carter]

Never tell her about the affair because that will truly be the end. Also get yourself tested regularly there is Planed Parent Hood and they can refer you to someone. But you do need start talking to her about your cd bad enough as it sounds but never about the affair and by the way stay away from her untill you know you are safe. Take our advice here and get your self together.

[Miriannah]

Do you have kids? Do you still have feelings for your wife? Would you rather be with this CDer? There's a lot of things like this that you have to ask yourself before you make any hasty decisions. At the very least, she needs to know that you enjoy crossdressing.

All I can say is "good luck" since nobody but you knows how your wife might react, and what you really want to come of this deep down inside.

[TGMarla]

There's an old saying: You dug your hole, now you get to lie in it. Seems you even used a special shovel.

[Anita Mae GG]

Cheating itself is the worst thing you can do to your spouse........like someone said, you pretty much threw your marriage away for 20 min of fun...... Good luck to you...if she doesn't like you dressing then she sure isn't going to like that you did dress and have sex with someone else.......one thing is for sure....she will NEVER accept your CDing if she thinks that this is the kind of behavior it brings about........2 steps forward for the penis.....10 steps backwards for the perception CDer's everywhere:sad:

[Sharon]

I think you should ask yourself how important your marriage is. You have lied to your wife, cheated on her, and now you're not even showing the slightest bit of remorse.

Do your wife one huge favor and be honest with her for a change, and then let her make the decision you're too cowardly to make.

[Jodi]

Christina, As we used to say in the army, I think you just stepped on your winky big time.

Jodi

[Jacqui]

I had my first experience with another CD and loved every moment of it. We kissed and made love but the problem is I'm married and my wife is against me being CD and of course doesn't know about my affair. Where do I go from here and how should I handle this.

Christina

I'll go one step further than Vicky. You said it yourself: "the problem is I'm married.."

I wrote more, but after I read it, I decided to let you do your own bashing.

[ashlee chiffon]

you dont Have a problem anymore...

you Don't have a marriage...

fess up, get checked medically, hope she hasnt gotten anything *even from kissing*...

if he was with you, he was with others...

[Breanne]

. . .We kissed and made love but the problem is I'm married . . . .

What love? Name it properly, you didn't make love, you had sex. Love involves a commitment (including a sexual commitment) which you and your wife made to each other at the time of your marriage. I don't see any commitment in this relationship with the CD, and of course, relationship and commitment with your wife is rapidly going down the drain.