Coping skills

[Jill]

I've worked in the mental health field now for 5 years and know that it's important to have good coping skills like music, writing or exercise. I lost my job yesterday and it's a huge source of stress for me and today I found that I have a very strong desire to dress which seems strange to me because I dressed earlier this week and it didn't do much for me and I have never had the desire to dress so strongly when stressed. I wanted to so bad today that I got dressed three seperate times because friends keep calling and showing up. This is strange for me and I really think that dressing up is serving as a coping skill for me. Can anyone relate to this? Does anyone use dressing as a coping skill?

[Joy Carter]

God yes Jill I could never figure myself out (child/adolesant quit at thirteen) in my lowest times I dressed. But it changed to a sexual thing as an adult (still coping) but now it's who I want to be no strees involved to dress, escape ? no just love it.

[Kate Simmons]

Jill, It's obvious to me that you look to your femme self for comfort and it is a source of comfort for all of us. How many people, when something stressful happens, want to be in another place somewhere "over the rainbow" so to speak where everything is bright and nothing is ever gloomy? With us, we are our own "other place", a place of comfort and security and familiarity that warms our very souls. In my early years of CDing I visited that place so many times. I felt too much was demanded of my male self in stressful high paced world. What a relief to become my femme self if only for a little while. Don't worry Hon, You'll survive. It happened to me as well. We put our blood, sweat and tears, heart and soul into our work and get cast off. We do make a difference but few appreciate it. It's just nice we have our own "femme support system". It could be much worse. I wish you well Hon and don't forget you have us, your sisters here for you always. Love, Ericka

[gennee]

I've worked in the mental health field now for 5 years and know that it's important to have good coping skills like music, writing or exercise. I lost my job yesterday and it's a huge source of stress for me and today I found that I have a very strong desire to dress which seems strange to me because I dressed earlier this week and it didn't do much for me and I have never had the desire to dress so strongly when stressed. I wanted to so bad today that I got dressed three seperate times because friends keep calling and showing up. This is strange for me and I really think that dressing up is serving as a coping skill for me. Can anyone relate to this? Does anyone use dressing as a coping skill?

You may be right, Jill. I know when I get into one of my moods, I dress. I rarely get depressed but when I do, I imagine myself totally dressed en femme.

Gennee

[Jill]

This has been a very hard thing for me, I don't know where I would be without supportive friends and family. Ericka, thanks for the words of encouragement, they are much appreicated.

[PTPJen]

Yes Jill, Understand whenever I'm really stressed I get dressed and go out, usaully just dress occationally, but stress seems to increase the urge and also helps me make it through the day week wahtever. Sorry you lost your job, just the economy? or related to dressing? Jenn

[michelle19845]

i'd have to say it does.i feel more happy and cute and better about myself when dressed.sometimes i think it'd be better if i had someone to share it with.

[Jill]

To answer your question Pixsvette, my loss of my job was more related to job politics, hear say and I was let go unjustly.

[Shelly Preston]

Hi Jill

I think the dressing help you reduce stress, by means of you doing something that gives so much pleasure in a nice relaxing way.


good luck with the new job hunt

[Julie Avery]

Jill, sorry to hear about the job loss, and all the more so as you indicate it was under B.S. circumstances.

I don't think stress and dressing work together for me that way, and maybe it's the opposite, when I'm really stressed I dress less or not at all...not sure, I'm still changing the way I handle this whole thing.

I remember my Dad pointing out to me that my two brothers reacted to stress, as related to eating, in exactly opposite ways - one of them would always gain weight when he was going through a hard time; the other would always lose it. Maybe dressing's comparable to that?

[Sharon B.]

I know when my mother died back in 2000, I would dress every chance that I had. It was my way of coping with her death as my father had died in 1989, then I was still married and had someone to share some grief with.
I realize my dressing was one of the ways that I deal with stress. I would rather dress as a woman than hit the bottle and be drunk most of the time.

[Karren H]

Yes!!! Definately a release for me and when things get stressful it really helps!!! Ohhh and shen things arn't stressful it feels great too!! hehehe

Love Karren

[MsEva]

Very sorry to hear about your job loss Jill. I hope that you get back on your feet soon.

[Jill]

I'm sure there are those that are annoyed that I am keeping this thread alive but really feel the need to talk a lot of this out and this is basically the only place where I can talk about my desire to dress in such a stressful time. I was fired on thursday and it's saturday and I'm all dressed up again. My room mates are home so I am dressing in the privacy of my room. I think dressing is a way for me to stay busy, a way to help me stay occupied. It's when I'm not occupied that I start to get kind of worked up over things. Thanks again to everyone for their support.

[Marlena Dahlstrom]

Jill, I'm so sorry to hear about your job loss.

Under the circumstances, I could definitely see where you might want to "be someone else" for awhile. Also, as you said, it may be a way of keeping your mind occupied.

As far as stress, for myself, if I'm mildly stressed, dressing can be a way to relax, but if I'm really stressed I typically lose interest. But everyone probably has their own responses. If earlier in the week you had a sense the ax was going to fall that might be why dressing didn't do anything for you then.

Anyway, I hope you get back on your feet soon.