Please dont think me a troller for asking...

[buxombaby]

but how many genetic girl members would actually be here if they werent already with a husband or boyfriend who was a crossdresser? dont get me wrong, im not here looking for single females, i dont mind that any of you are currently attached, im happy that anyone is here at all. it just seems apparent to me that there are so few, if any, women really interested in meeting a crossdresser. currently the only way for crossdressers to meet women is the traditional dating fashion of gentleman meets lady, then hopes and prays she will be accepting of his lifestyle. most women are not and move on. a few will accept it if they have become emotionally involved, but most accept begrudgingly. and then a precious few of those may actually grow to like it. but why is it that there are seemingly no women actually seeking crossdressers? i have tried meeting women expressly as a crossdresser and have had no luck at all in the last 4 or 5 years with this approach. one example of this is the time i spent in AOLs CD4F chatroom, which is always full, but at any given time there are 200 CDs and no Fs. its not just me, as i am regularly successful at meeting women when the part about crossdressing is not immediately brought up. it is the crossdressing that turns off so many women. i wonder just how many women here currently in a relationship might actually have not opted to get involved with their current mate if they knew up front about it. i just feel like i am not welcome in the dating pool. frankly, it doesnt even seem fair to just hope for mere acceptance or tolerance. i think everyone needs to feel they are cherished and desired for who/what they are, especially for the things that make them different or unique. and yet, when i try to look for someone, i cannot even hope to find someone who will begrudingly accept me for who i am much less really care for me. any thoughts on this?

[kittypw GG]

Buxom,
unfortunately I have met only a few women who activly are seeking relationships with crossdressers. Kathy has said many times that she was, she found one , married and started a family. She is quite happy and sings praises about Amanda all of the time. So you see it is possible. I knew up front and it was not a deterent to becoming involved. I am married to a cd and I did not actively seek one out. I don't know if I would want a relationship with another one if my marriage were to fail. It has been one struggle after another but I think that our struggles have more to do with his insecurities and his past problems with drinking and of course being a major dramma queen. If I were to get involved with another cd he would have to have strength of character and confidence. He would have to demonstrate balance in his life. I mean a balance between his male and female side. He would have to be responsible and respectful. He would have to be willing to give me the moon without expecting anything in return and I would give him back the universe. Kitty

[kittypw GG]

:wave2: :hello: Welcome to the forum. Not bad for a first post. :thumbup: Kitty

[Bev06 GG]

Hi Buxom,
Great post and very thought provoking. I love my partners crossdressing and think that it gives us a pretty unique relationship and something very special to share together. My partner is fairly balanced really and doesn't dress 24/7 altho he does go through periods when he dresses all the time but usually during holidays etc. I dont think it would have ever dawned on me to actively seek out a Crossdresser to have a relationship with because I was fairly ignorant of it before meeting my partner. I certainly was not aware of the benefits. I think now tho that if God forbid anything happened to my partner I would consider it a plus if I met someone else and they dressed. However, like Kitty pointed out, there would have to be balance. I couldn't bare anyone that had mood swings and issues because of guilty feelings and they'de have to be pretty confident in who they were and beable to accept themselves. And also I like the balance of male female. A crossdresser who was all consuming and wanted to do it 24/7 wouldn't suit me at all. There are times when I want my partner to be the man I met first, and there are times when Im quite happy for him to be the woman I met second.
Take care
BEVxxxx

[Sandra]

Ok honestly if I wasn't married to Nigella then no I wouldn't be here, why? because I would proably not no that CDers ever exsisted. I had never heard the term CD/TV until I had met her and new nothing of these sites.

[Anita Mae GG]

Ditto to Sandra's post...and WELCOME!!!

[~Kitty GG~]

Ditto again!

It seems most of the GGs here, are here to support their SOs and also to offer support to eachother.

Hope you do find someone to share your CDing with. It can be a wonderful part of a relationship.

Love & Hugs
~Kitty~

[BethGG]

Have you thought of posting a personal ad? That's probably a good way to find a GG interested in crossdressing :) For myself I wouldn't have been here if I didn't meet my SO cause I never really thought about CD/TVs or knew much about it. I knew about drag queens and people who were transexual, but didn't really know there were guys who just like to dress sometimes(CDs).

[admirerplus GG]

Buxumbaby,

Perhaps I am one of the unique GGs on this site. I have never had a relationship with a CD man. I was originally on the Internet out of curiousity and to meet a kind man. I answered a CD ad on another site and to learn more I ventured to this forum. I am still learning about the CD experience.

I am also hoping to meet a kind CD and to develop a loving relationship. I am attracted to men who are comfortable expressing themselves. I assume that most CDs would be better at expressing their feelings and emotions because they are in touch with their feminine side.

I have had very positive chats with nice people in this forum. I hope that you will be able to connect with a special GG, close to your age and and who may live close to New Jersey. Good luck!

[anonjulz]

I had no idea about my SO's CDing, but support him fully. And, if there were to ever come a time that, God forbid, we are parted by death or etc, I would actively search out another CD for a partner. It fulfills that desire I desparately crave from women and men. I prefer men, but I enjoy the feminine... and my SO fulfills both parts.0.02

[buxombaby]

thank you all for your thoughts and encouragement. in response to one poster's question, i have had personal ads up in one place or another for the past 5 years straight as well as several sporadically before that time. currently i have 2 ads up on free sites as it became apparent that trying to meet someone on a paysite was a waste of money. i never (EVER) recieve replies from females, only men, even though most of my ads have specifically said "seeking female". i dont really fault anyone for not being interested. a woman cannot help what she wants and doesnt want. but i cannot help but feel like i just dont belong anywhere. anyway, thank you also for your answers to my original question. i find it completely understandable how many of you would have arrived at those answers.

[BrendaB GG]

I hope that you keep trying. You do belong and I believe that there is somebody for everybody.
If I ever lost Tori, heaven forbid, I would NOT be able to go back to regular men and a plain vanilla sex life. Its funny, I always knew that I wasn't straight, but I also didn't feel like a lesbian. There's something in between and I am it, and there must be others too.
Good luck in your search.
Hugs Brenda

[Penny Dreadful GG]

While we are indeed few in number, we are definitely out there.

I am one of the few who actively sought a cd partner after I had experienced it with an ex. I knew there was no going back. I also knew that I was not entirely straight either, because the way I see it, being intimate with my gurl is still, to some degree, being intimate with a female. It does get a bit complicated, so I feel that whatever people like, they should enjoy, and not worry about label this or label that. Again, it is a person with whom we fall in love, not the clothes they wear.

I too experienced great difficulty finding a cd partner even here in Toronto - which of all places, should have a larger population. (At least, that was my thinking on the subject.) As it turned out, my fiance is from Texas for crying out loud, but I am truly happy with this match - except for the distance bit, which we are working on remedying.

So don't give up just yet. All the best of luck!!!

Penny

[Di]

Don`t give up looking we are out there. I also looked for a relationship with a cd, took me a while to find THE one.......finally met my match!!! Good luck on your search.

[purple_spider GG]

Hi
I suppose I would not be on a TG site if I was not with Louise. I did meet Louise in femme mode but I was not actively seeking anyone at that time as I had only come out of a 7 year relationship 6 months previously.

I met Louise as she was, and I knew from the start she was transgender and when we had a few dates she was very honest with me (plans for breast implants, lives full time, but not SRS). I knew what I was getting in to when we got serious.

My advice would be to always be honest right at the start about yourself, your plans for the future and how you feel because then any new partner will not later on turn into a shocked and upset wife who feels deceived.

As for meeting GGs who are accepting? I would say that you are better off meeting some GGs at Trans venues because they are generally going to be the ones who are more accepting of you. However I did meet Lou at WGW but the goth scene is pretty open about anything anyway.

You could put a personals ad on TG sites where that is allowed or in TG magasines because GGs do read those as well ;) Just be yourself, be honest, and it will happen for you :) In fact I am sending you positive vibes right now and good wishes that you meet a lovely GG who makes you feel special, who feels special with you, and who can accept you as you are :)

*vibes*

Hugs
debs
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX:hugs:

[Honey GG]

If my DH were not a CD I would not be on a site like this. Before he told me
(30yrs into the marriage) I never even heard the term cross dresser.

If my husband would pass on before me, I would not seek to have a relationship with another CD. My relationship with my husband is based on love and respect, not that he is a CD. Don't get me wrong- I totally support him, but the CD in him is not the most important part of him. I feel like your with who you are ment to be with, CD or Not..

Honey GG

[kathy gg]

For what is is worth, I have met and befriended quite alot of women who are seeking cd's. Some I have had the pleasure of knowing in real time {hey Penny!!!} and some I only know as phone friends {hi Marla, you lurker!}....and alot of them are not on this site....but I can promise we are not an urban legand!

When I was looking I had ads on personal sites, trolled personal webpages and I joined a real time support group, also went to tranny bars too. No luck in the bar scene, made more friends than boyfriends at the suport group, and dating sites were dismal. Some guys really did not believe I was a real gg and others were alot of talk and no action {planning a real time meeting}. Luck came to me when I happened upon my hubbys website and emailed him. Then phone conversations, then him planning a trip to meet me ...then engagement then well...almost 7 yrs later and we are still very happily married.

All I can say is that I continue meeting women like me all through out north america. I have talked to women in many states and in canada. To be honest it is hard to maintain long distance friendships, so sometimes I happen across women and then we email a bit then we fall out of touch. But I have met loads of women and many find the same problems I encountered. Obviously having the cd stuff in common is great, but there are so many intracacies to attraction if there is not more to build from there things don't jive. So all I can say is women who are seeking this, if this is any comfort, are having just as hard of a time at it as you are.

And also ***please guys dont' send me emails asking for these emails addresses of these women*** as I said above, right now I have not cooresponded with a single gg in about months. I also just dont' go around giving out personal info also on gg friends who are cool with this if I don't know the guy in some sort of close way. In other words, I only introduce my gg friends to cd guys who have taken the time to be my friend as well {like....DanaJ....you know I have my eyes out!!} Sorry, but I am very very protective of my friends so I only introduce them to guys I know wont' hurt them.

Just to give you an example, I had a gg friend actually put a personal ad on me and my hubbys wesbite. It stayed there for almost a year. Out of hundreds of guys who wrote her, only like two were willing to travel to meet her face to face. That says alot if you ask me. Most are just not willing to put the energy into really pursuing true love.

But to answer your question...had a website like this been around when I was single I would have utilized it. But back in 97' there were a few sleezy chatrooms and nothing that actually made any effort to make gg's feel welcome {like this awesome site!}.

Best of luck and as I have said many times over {to my friends} , don't let distance be a factor in your search. I had to move to another country to have true love and I would do it again in a NY minute to be with my sweet husband!

[Dizzy GG]

Don't give up!

I met my partner on a pay dating site as Josi and I had never met anyone who crossdressed. it was a site where you could also chat and that way I began to get to know the person.

We met and are very happy together 18 months later and looking forward to a future together.

[weemoofrazz]

Buxombaby, I have to admit to only initially being drawn to this forum after I had found out about Kirsteen, so in that sense I have to admit that I would not have ever thought to look at a forum of this nature had CDing not came into my life.

That said however to answer another of your questions, how many of us would have actually gone ahead with the relationship had we known from the start? well that is difficult to answer and if I am to be honest, honesty is the best policy, then admitadly I would have to say that I fear that I might not have!!! that scares me, because I now know what I would have missed out on... I can however be honest and say that as I did recently when I found out, if I had found out right from the start, I would have made and effort to find out more about the CDing and try to understand more about it and it's purely conjecture, but I would have hoped that I would have then, after understanding more about it, been open to having a relationship with a guy who dressed.

It's as honest as I can be, and although I remember a conversation between my girlfriends and I a few months back on this very subject (Little did I know!!) that basically illustrated that almost all of them would never be accepting of "such a thing" as they would say, I am certain that that is not the case and that many of them, should they ever be lucky enough to find that perfect guy, whom thy later discovered dressed would find that their "community" or peer driven attitudes would change dramatically, that's what love is all about, acceptance, compromise and understanding.

In this day and age I am sure that there are many more woman out there who would be far more tolerant of CDing than ever before, it's probably just the case of finding them first of course and then the delicate issue of when and how to tell them, personally although I can admire the up front from the start approach, I would advocate letting that other person know you, even just for a short while, but let them see the person you are, let them recognize your good qualities and just how great you are, which happens usually fairly quickly, within the first few weeks, months, then when you think that it might be love or she thinks that, then I would feel would be the optimum time to tell, she will ultimately respect the fact that you gave her time to get to know you, but you also told her before the relationship went on too far.....I would say that chances are the majority of the time that even if she is at first rejecting, she will think it over and given the time that you spent during the first few weeks/months when she discovered who you are and got to know you, she would be best placed to accept it or even agree to try to.

It's just my thoughts, but I am all new to this and I only found out about my Boyfriends CDing a week ago !

[Kerry Owens]

If Lawren had not arrived in my life, nope I would never have ventured here into this forum. Heck....it took all of Lawren's persuasion to get me courageous enough to join and post!

[Jean GG]

I would not be a member of this forum if it were not for my cd husband...heck I did not even know anything about cd until I married him! But, having said that, I have always been interested in people who are different.

I have always been around gay friends. I know how hard it was for some of them and yet they are more socially accepted than cd's hence I can only imagine how much harder it can be for cd's (but I do hate it when my husband uses it as an excuse to get away with things...which he no longer does as a result of learning so much on this forum :) jean