What happen when you told the truth...

[Jacquelinecd21]

I posted a question to the GG's about how can I tell my SO about my crossdressing being a huge part of my life. If you would look at that post and the responses they gave me and let me know about when you told your SO and your family what was their reaction and outcome after a year or so. I would appreciate all the help I can get do to the fact that I know that this is part of my life and will not go away and I want her to be accepting and supportive of me with this. Here is the question I posted to the GGs.
http://crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=29584

[Karren H]

Here is what happened to me when I told her......

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=15376

Love Karren

[Kate Simmons]

Hi Hon, Had I the opportunity to do it over, I would have told my wife before we were married but like so many other confused boneheads out there, I mistakenly assumed it would go away after we were married and I had a real woman in my life. We all know it doesn't no matter what we do or how hard we try. You have an opportunity here and a choice to make. You have to tell her how big a part of your life it is and how important it is to you. You never know how someone is going to react but you can't promise to "work on it" knowing full well it will never go away. I told my wife two years after we were married but by that time we had two small children to think of. She was devastated of course and thought there was something wrong with her and she didn't fill enough of a feminine need in my life, otherwise I wouldn't need to do this. I promised to stop, knowing full well the promise was an empty one. She did her best to "fix" me over the years trying everything and every time she found some of my stuff or evidence of my wearing her stuff, she was heartbroken. It went up and down, back and forth, each time I promised I would quit, so she stayed. Finally about five years ago, things happened that forced me to come "out" to the family as Victoria(then). I started openly living part time as my femme self and could no longer play a role I felt I could not fulfill. We live apart now and I am very sad about that but has said she can never, ever accept me as Ericka. You have the opportunity to do things right from the beginning. It's your choice Hon and you have to live by whatever choice you make regardless of the outcome. You owe it to her to let her know what she is invseting her life in and you owe to yourself the fact that you will do what you know is right. Only you can make that decision. My question to you is:"Do you love her enough to let her go if she cannot handle it?" Don't make the mistake I did. Sometimes to be a woman, you have to be a man. I wish you well in this. Take care, Ericka

[Abby Lauren]

I wasn't able to contain myself after 10 years of marriage to continue a deceitful pattern of behavior. I told my wife and there were many tears accompanying the disclosure. My wife promptly went into the most massive form of psychological denial humanly possible.
Fast forward another 20 years or so and I again couldn't contain myself. This time, though, I would not allow her the luxury of massive denial. It has been another 7 years since and, gradually, there have been accommodations between us. She understands that this is a part of me that will never go away and she, reluctantly, accepts it. She has even been helpful in many ways even as she prefers not to dwell on my TG'ism.
I think it's best to have an honest relationship with one's wife and I think it goes best when you pick the time to disclose, hopefully being completely psychologically prepared to discuss it productively, rather than wait to be accidentally discovered with all the attendant catastrophes.
My sense is that, if you enjoy a decent relationship with your wife and generally share your feelings with her on a regular basis, the chances
that your marriage will dissolve should you disclose your Tg'ism to her, are very small. If your relationship is poor, first work on bettering it before risking anything.

[sparks]

Well now, It's been seven years and I'm still dealing with the reprocussions of telling late in the relationship. Tel her now!!!! Do not wait another second cause you may end up with a lonely existance later. My marriage is fantastic other than this ugly pimple of a cding thing. I can't stop dressing this is the realization I'm dramatically coming to. This seems to be the most important thing in my head these days and I know quite firmly that she is never ever going to accept the fact that I love to where womens clothing!
It is lonely because she will never talk about and right now feels uncomfortable with me talking to others like me on the forum. This all may come to a head and I may end up divorced yet! Right now as always I keep my emoptions and thoughts about my cding tucked up into my prune shaped noggin. How long can I do this I don't know only time will tell.
If I change it all especially the way I told her I would and it would be as early into the relationship as possible.
If she loves you she may cope, even if she loves you she still may never cope. But you will be able to move if you desire. Once marriage and kids become involved things could become alot more complicated.
Take care and trust your judgement it shouldn't let you down. You are here asking the right questions and you know your SO!

[DonnaT]

I imagine there's a bit of difference in telling your girlfriend (GF) as compared to someone like me telling my wife.

My wife was fine with it initially, she even gave me a wig. But that changed when she read the dictionary definition for transvestite, which included a reference to being homosexual. It's been a roller-coaster ride ever since.

I can't answer how your GF will react, everyone's different. All I can offer is:
A) Be prepared to answer a number of questions, honestly. Know what you are talking about, because she can easily look things up on the internet these days to get answers if she doesn't believe you.
B) Don't tell her you can quit. If it comes up, tell here what you know, that there is no cure, that many have tried to quit but couldn't, so it is doubtful that it is even possible to quit.
C) Do tell her soon, especially since the topic of marriage has already come up. She needs to know all the facts before making a lifelong commitment to accepting a CD as a husband.

Good luck.

[netticd]

well i pretty much lost my relationship

[Amanduhrob]

When I told my ex, she took the "out of sight, out of mind" route, and I only dressed when she wasn't home.

With my current, I can dress anytime I want, as long as I don't plan on living as a female, or dress every day. This works for me, I only dress 4 or 5 times a year.

[Dana]

The first ~ the ex-wife wasn't a happy camper. Too much to go into here.


The second, a shack~up deal ~ it befuddled her. Just couldn't get it wrapped around her head. To be honest, (Pre~Internet) I convinced her I was a TS, instead of being a CD.

I've pretty much reconciled to being, living and being single for the rest of my life. That's fine, that's OK!

To me, being a Hetro Crossdresser is the ultimate joke. The ultimate laugh. Women don't want us, need us,....................gays don't like us, .................we're not attracted to men. Personally, I almost I wish I was. Life would be easier. Thing is? I'm not! I wished it was so simple!

Excuse me? I think I've got a heartache, and I should say "Goodbye" before I cry!