A New Television Documentary.../New Information

[Melanie R]

Women's Entertainment, WE, will be at our home during the week of May 20 filming the story of Melanie and Peggy. We are one of four couples who will be presented as part of the documentary, "The Secret Lives of Women - Being Married to a Crossdresser" to be aired in the Fall season. Since we have helped produce several other documentaries for national television on the topic of crossdressing, we make certain that any sensationalism is left out. We need your ideas on what needs to be filmed to tell our story and your story. We will be showing Melanie being transformed from Mel. Melanie and Peggy with two of our grandchildren who are very accepting of Melanie. Melanie and Peggy doing a presentation to a college class. Melanie out shopping. Melanie and Peggy dining out.

We would love your ideas.

Thanks.

Melanie

[Julia Cross]

Hi Melanie,

Thank you so much for asking us here at the forum for input. What an amzing opportunity for us.

While I don't have any precise thoughts yet, i will be discussing it with my GF tonight and hope to forward some thoughts to you soon thereafter.

Thank you again.

Julia

[DonnaT]

Discussions of documentaries such as you describe have been made in several forums, and the general consensus is that the filming of the transformation process is sensationalism. Before and after shots are fine, but the show shouldn't focus on the process.

You see it all the time, and it takes away time that could be used to discuss more important issues.

[Julie York]

Excellent!

Whilst I know it is very difficult....I would like to see someone discussing the early desire to express yourself in ways that 'society' forbids. The fact that little dresses and ribbons are attractive to some little boys and they don't know why. Girls find them attractive and THEY don't know why either! But the boy is told he isn't allowed to take part.

Transvestism is more usually seen and discussed from an adult perspective, but as we know, most of us have these unexplainable feelings when very young.

I think if it is discussed, it will enable you to put across some very good points about crossdressing, whilst taking it outside a sexual context.

Also, explain a clear separation between gender identity and sexuality. It is a subject the general masses get confused time and time again and even if the entire programme was about that and the message FINALLY sank in then that would be worth it on its own.

Thanks. And good luck with the project.

JY

PS: Donna has a good point. The transformation process is simply a "Lets look at the freaks" bit of footage. Avoid it please as it does NOTHING to educate the public at all about the subject of crossdressing other than to give them something to snear at.

[Julia Cross]

I must agree with Donna in general, while the transition is important, it really should not be the focus. If indeed the better part of the program does focus on the transformation then the program really isn't about crossdressing but is about theatrics, creating illusions, making a woman out of a man. I don't think this helps further the acceptance of crossdressing, it just furthers the misconceptions about crossdressing.

If we focus more on the person; why he or she does it? how it makes them feel? how they relate to others and those people are effected. And especially that is a harmless expression of one's self like any other expression of one's self, then the program may actually benefit CD's and actually do some good in educating the public in general.

Julia

[Krissi]

I do agree with Donna too and I will add that it seems that a large percentage of these types of shows always end up with the surgery, are gay, or at the very least looking at living en femme full time. It seems that there are very few shows about the largest group of us. The ones that just dress for whatever reason, but have no desire to become a woman. My wife watches a lot of these shows, and always jokes, you're not going to do that right. I know its a joke, but I can't help but see the small spark of fear behind it.

[Melanie R]

I can assure you that there will not be any emphasis put on transformation. I would just as soon leave that part out. The emphasis will be on relationships, the difference between sex and gender and how society needs to be educated on the facts about the crossdresser. WE did an excellent presentation on transsexualism in their last documentary.

Thanks for all your ideas and suggestions.

Melanie

[Julia Cross]

I wish I could get a copy of your last documentary. Is there a website where it can be purchased?

julia

[linnea]

I think that the general public is very curious about the transformation part of crossdressing, but I agree with others who have said that the documentary would be best if it did not put too much emphasis on that part. The most attention should be on the feeling, the ideas behind, the relationships of crossdressers, and the struggles that they go through related to acceptance. I think that the problem of classifying crossdressers with sexual offenders needs to be addressed (that's part of why I'm glad to know that children and crossdressers relationships with them will be a part of the documentary).
One of the questions that appears from time to time on the CD forum has to do with the point that crossdressing is appealing to some CDs BECAUSE it is "forbidden." The corollary to this, of course, is that if the "world" were accepting, crossdressing would not be so appealing. I think that this would be a good topic to include in the discussion.
I am so glad that you are doing this and in such a sensitive way. Thank you.

[Dixie Darling]

Melanie,

What a WONDERFUL event this could be!!!! From the viewpoint of a CD who came out to his wife several years ago only to be unaccepted or tolerated by her, I would like to see a portion of your new production pointed towards the wives who know about their husband's need to dress, but have flatly refused to accept, tolerate, or even discuss it any further - with ANYONE. I feel certain that I'm not the only CD who is in a situation such as this and anything that might sway the thinking of non-tolerant/non-accepting wives would be most beneficial to those of us who have them. Additionally, it would seem that placing emphasis that very FEW crossdressers are anything other than heterosexual would be something that needs to be pointed out. There have been numerous posts recently (as well as in the past) where this very problem has been discussed. Also, I've seen some where the wives have made the statement "I am not a lesbian" - which indicates that just because their husband has a need to dress, they seem to think that he wants to be intimate while dressed and assume the role of the female in the intimacy. For the majority of us I'm sure this is NOT the case and if we could convince our wives of that fact it might be of some benefit in helping them to tolerate us to some extent.

Be sure and keep us posted on how the production is progressing and even more importantly went the final product will be aired.

Dixie -- http://www.geocities.com/senorita_cd

[Melanie R]

I wish I could get a copy of your last documentary. Is there a website where it can be purchased?

julia

The last documentary was "The Secret Wardrobe" on HBO. It should be available from HBO. The Leeza Gibbon Show on NBC was "My Husband Wears My Clothes" may be available from NBC. WE should have a copy of the Secret Lives of Women - Transsexual" from the last season.

Melanie

[Joy Carter]

I wish I could get a copy of your last documentary. Is there a website where it can be purchased?

julia Hi Melonie so glad you are taking this on a high road it's something I have found to be lacking in other shows on this subject. We need to see the first production where can it be had ?

So Proud Of You Sister Joy

[Julia Cross]

Melanie, how long are these documentaries? Are they short little segments or the half hour to an hour or more kind?

Julia

[unclejoann]

My wife knows I dress but doesn't like it. So, I don't rub it in her face, but I wish she would at least acknowledge it in a non-negative way (at least neutral).

I would hope that your documentary would be something she would watch and learn a little from, learn to accept me a little better. Learn that this isn't some threat to her, or some shame.

[kwebb]

I would love to see more focus on the origins and possible causes of transgendered behavior & discussions about how it manifests at such an early age.

I would also like to see some delving into the world history of TGed individuals from the biblical days on up thru the Chevalier D'Eon and from also in other cultures. How it was celebrated amongst many of the cultures of the world (American Indian, etc).

People need to see that this has been a part of world culture and history from antiquity, not some current religious signs that we are living in the last days.

I'd like to see it mentioned that it can be but is not always sexual fetish.

Give them some truth Melanie.

[Donna O]

Hello Everyone,

A lot of good points were made. The focus should not be about the transformation.
I feel that a point should be made about the fact that transgenders especially crossdressers are not protected from discrimination at their jobs or by the courts. That a lot of crossdressers have to hide because of it. This is why there is no clear number of transgendered people.
The point of the documentary should be the acceptance and the relationship. The fact that you go out together to different locations and the people you come in contact with reactions.

Lady SMO ( Wife of that Crossdressing Truck Driver that sued WD in federal court and LOST. )

[Faye Emmette]

Three cheers for Melanie. As Dylan said the words out for us teens in the sixties, you are helping us here.
I think the transformation is an important part of the program as people have a natural curiosity and this has to be addresed. I'm sure you will do this in a non spectacular way. In fact, blended in with the program it will highlight the naturalness of it.
Secondly, if you can get the point across that we are still the same person, whether in dresses or jeans, cotton or silk pyjamas.
Who knows, someday we here might be able to tell our grandkids "We knew Melanie R".:happy:

[EricaCD]

Hi Melanie! Congratulations on this wonderful opportunity that you have no doubt richly earned. My sense is that the best thing you can do is to show the normality that (we all hope) goes along with a CDs existence. I think that people seeing that your shopping enfemme is, at the end of the day, just SHOPPING will go a long way. I think people have a hard time understanding that many CDs really seek a normal life, just presenting a different gender image.

In any case, based on your many posts during my short tenure here, I have no doubt that you will represent "us" capably and compassionately. I look forward to seeing the final product!

Erica

[kymmieLorain]

Great to hear that there is finally some favorable media coverage for us CDs. I think that the best thing cover is that we are not deviants or perverts we just enjoy expressing our feminine side.

Kymmie

[Elsie GG]

Hi Melanie,
If I were to add anything, it would be from the spouse side of the issue. What is the difference between TG and CD. How many CD are hererosexual and in loving family relationships. Also the importance of Communications (which is important whether or not the partner is CD). I liked the comment on this forum about the wife joining their SO in the closet, rather than the CD coming out of the closet, when the wife is the only other person to know.

Also, For the CD, the freedom that is found when when you can express the balanced side of your personality. It is not about being dressed all the time, it is often about being accepted for who you are, as you are, no matter how you are dressed.

Good luck - I hope the show reaches the right audience.

[VeronicaMoonlit]

Additionally, it would seem that placing emphasis that very FEW crossdressers are anything other than heterosexual would be something that needs to be pointed out.

It should be pointed out, but not over-emphasized, because when you over-emphasize it, it comes across as homophobic.

Veronica

[Rikkicn]

I can assure you that there will not be any emphasis put on transformation. I would just as soon leave that part out. The emphasis will be on relationships, the difference between sex and gender and how society needs to be educated on the facts about the crossdresser. WE did an excellent presentation on transsexualism in their last documentary.

Thanks for all your ideas and suggestions.

Melanie
It's an amazing chance to talk about who we are and that energy that keeps us on the cross dressing path. Thanks for doing this for us aand for your tremendous courage and confidence.
You mentioned educating on the facts about cross dressers. Would you be willing to share those facts with us? I'm not sure what they are, actually. I'd love to know more.

Thanks Melanie, for your activism.

Rikki




It should be pointed out, but not over-emphasized, because when you over-emphasize it, it comes across as homophobic.

Veronica

I think in the GLBT communnity any attempt to distance ourselves will be seen as homophobic. Just a quess.
I wonder what I would think if I was an executive director of a GLBT lobby group that was trying to get gender presentation included in an antidiscrimination bill and someone on tv made a point of saying that most cder's are straight. I might wonder "now, what was the need to say that"

And what about those cder's that are bi or gay? Do we wish to leave then behind?

Just my thoughts,
Rikki

[VeronicaMoonlit]

Women's Entertainment, WE, will be at our home during the week of May 20 filming the story of Melanie and Peggy. We are one of four couples who will be presented as part of the documentary, "The Secret Lives of Women - Being Married to a Crossdresser" to be aired in the Fall season.
Melanie


Read this:

http://www.gwensmith.com/writing/transmissions116.html

And watch the producers/film crew/directors like a hawk. Basically try to avoid the stereotypes of these things as much as you can, which might be difficult because they can edit it and add voice overs to say practically anything.


Veronica


Excellent!

Transvestism is more usually seen and discussed from an adult perspective, but as we know, most of us have these unexplainable feelings when very young.


.

good point. I've been crossddressing for let's see 28 - 29 years. And there's never any mention of the hordes of boys out there who are crossdressing and they sure could use support and information


Veronica

[Melanie R]

Melanie, how long are these documentaries? Are they short little segments or the half hour to an hour or more kind?

Julia

I am not certain about the length of the documentary - either one hour or one and half hours. I will know tomorrow when we plan the script with the producer.

Melanie

[Melanie R]

Three cheers for Melanie. As Dylan said the words out for us teens in the sixties, you are helping us here.
I think the transformation is an important part of the program as people have a natural curiosity and this has to be addresed. I'm sure you will do this in a non spectacular way. In fact, blended in with the program it will highlight the naturalness of it.
Secondly, if you can get the point across that we are still the same person, whether in dresses or jeans, cotton or silk pyjamas.
Who knows, someday we here might be able to tell our grandkids "We knew Melanie R".:happy:

Part of the script will be Melanie and Peggy working together in our beautiful yard. Also Melanie and Peggy sitting and talking with two of our grandchildren. We were not certain about our 17 year old grandson who we talked with tonight. His response was I love my grandfather unconditionally no matter what he is wearing. The granddaughter, age 24, has spent a lot of time with Melanie and enjoys sharing femininity.

Hugs,

Melanie

[VeronicaMoonlit]

Part of the script will be Melanie and Peggy working together in our beautiful yard. Also Melanie and Peggy sitting and talking with two of our grandchildren. We were not certain about our 17 year old grandson who we talked with tonight. His response was I love my grandfather unconditionally no matter what he is wearing. The granddaughter, age 24, has spent a lot of time with Melanie and enjoys sharing femininity.

Hugs,

Melanie

One other thought... avoid using the "third person" in the documentary. It's hard to explain but it can come across not so well. For example that last line could read instead:

My granddaughter, age 24, has spent a lot of time with me en femme, and enjoys sharing femininity.


Veronica

[kathy gg]

Hi Melanie


I think it is great and look forward to watching it when it airs. I am sure we will all be 'abuzz' once it airs!

Sounds like a very good start with what you have shared. Nothing to add other than good luck and have a great time.

:happy:

[Billijo49504]

Hi Melanie, I know othersa have made many suggestions. But would you please let the viewers know that we are just regular people. Their co-workers, neighbors and good friends. Just regular people...BJ

[michellecd9999]

Melanie,
I think showing that CDers are quite "normal" people aside of their CDing. We are not (usually) gay or sex perverts. Aside from CDing we are good fathers, husbands and are active in community and (some) church. We don't go out trolling for hookups and are not pedifiles. Anything you can do to improve what the public would think of CDers since most only see the idiots on Springer and some on the internet selling sex pics!
Michelle

[Melanie R]

Melanie,
I think showing that CDers are quite "normal" people aside of their CDing. We are not (usually) gay or sex perverts. Aside from CDing we are good fathers, husbands and are active in community and (some) church. We don't go out trolling for hookups and are not pedifiles. Anything you can do to improve what the public would think of CDers since most only see the idiots on Springer and some on the internet selling sex pics!
Michelle

The documentary "The Secret Lives of Women - Being Married to a Crossdresser" will be one hour and will air in the Fall on WE. In addition to Peggy and Melanie, a young couple in their 20's with a baby and a couple in their 50's and us old folks in our 60's will be featured. The script is to show all three couples as the couples next door. The emphasis will be on explaining the difference between sex and gender and that crossdressing is the external manifestation of the internal high level of femininity in the three "men" who cross gender lines. The film crew will follow us around as we shop, eat at home and out, go to church, attend support meetings and visit with family members. Obviously one hour is only enough time for the tip of the icebeg. Hopefully this show will lead to other national shows such as Oprah and Dr. Phil producing quality shows on the topic of crossdressing. To date the producers have only been interested in transsexuals.

Melanie

[Annesah]

Melanie!

This is BEAUTIFUL! What an opportunity! Go girl!

[Melanie R]

We have spent 5 hours so far with the producer working on the script for the segment which will feature Peggy and Melanie. All of the suggestions made by all of you will be incorporated into the script. Beginning next Wednesday they will begin 30 hours of filming. It is amazing how many family members have agreed to be interviewed and how many are supportive of both of us going out on such a long limb.

Someone asked about how to order the prior shows. The Secret Wardrobe DVD should be available from MSNBC. I had said HBO. It is MSNBC that produced and aired this documentary.

Melanie

[ColleenCD]

Melanie R,

Thank you for all you and your bride are doing. If my guess is correct, your wife's book was a tremendous breakthrough in helping my wife understand more about who I am. (It's nice not to be alone.)

Since this is airing on the WE network, the audience is primarily female. This will need a strong emphasis on your wife's point of view and her acceptance and understanding. If too much emphasis is placed on yourself and dressing, then Barnum and Bailey will win.

Can't wait to see it.

Love,

Colleen

[Marlena Dahlstrom]

FYI, for those of you who are curious about the show, other episodes are currently airing. You can find the schedule here (http://www.we-womensentertainment.com/article?CID=key%3D664%26tzOffset%3D0).

It's an hour-long show, done an "in their own words" style without narration, just the occasional title card to help fill in contextual info. Usually there are 3-4 people profiled, although the episode on a TS focused on a single individual.

BTW, people might find the show on a lesbians who came out late in life interesting. (IIRC from the show something like 1 in 6 lesbians come out after age 40.) They faced many of the same dilemmas that many of the people here face in regards to coming out to family and friends.

[Melanie R]

Melanie R,

Thank you for all you and your bride are doing. If my guess is correct, your wife's book was a tremendous breakthrough in helping my wife understand more about who I am. (It's nice not to be alone.)

Since this is airing on the WE network, the audience is primarily female. This will need a strong emphasis on your wife's point of view and her acceptance and understanding. If too much emphasis is placed on yourself and dressing, then Barnum and Bailey will win.

Can't wait to see it.

Love,

Colleen

From what we have seen of the script so far, the emphasis will be on Peggy's acceptance and understanding. The show will highlight her books and what we do in the community. Thats a lot more interesting than just Melanie. The filming next Wednesday will be 3 hours with Peggy and a shorter time with Mel. Melanie is filmed May 23 and 24th.

Hugs,

Melanie

[Melanie R]

Women's Entertainment, the WE channel, is producing a documentary on Women Married to Crossdressers in their "The Secret Lives of Women" series. Filming has been completed with two couples and Peggy and Melanie are scheduled for three days of filming to begin next week. The producer has asked us to help them locate several wives who would be willing to be interviewed for the documentary. They are seeking any wives (who
would participate in the program) who are having a more difficult time accepting their husband's crossdressing, but are trying to understand and/or any wives who love and accept their husband's crossdressing, but choose not to ever see their partner dressed as a woman? The production company will come to the home of these volunteers for the filming.

Please contact us immediately if you know of possible volunteers for this documentary which will air in the Fall. Contact me by private email.

Thanks.

Melanie

[Wenda]

If they are willing to travel 2,000 miles due north, email me.

[RobynB]

Melanie,

How did the filming go?

Robyn

[HaleyPink2000]

Ok, here goes.


1. Proper acceptance by Wives, keeping a marriage together.
2. Family values and cross dressing.
3. Children in a marriage, Grand Children etc.
4. Family, Friends and Neighbors.
5. Going out and doing the marketing, shopping etc.
6. Religion, Going to Church etc.
7. Divorce and the family separated.
8. Coming out to SO’s the proper way
9. Purging, Guilt
10. Money and over spending
11. Coming out, Being outed or Outing ones self accidentally
12. Finding out after marriage or before.
13. Being Honest about your life style
14. Everyday life as a Cross Dresser 24/7
15. Attitudes and change
16. Laws and protection
17. Dangers and fatalities

These are just a few that come to mind. Thanks for giving me this opportunity to contribute. :)

[Jerry]

This forum, a place where there is a good representation of crossdressers, who have a place to be honest and open proves to me, we crossdressers are in and among ourselves very diverse.

In / Out.
Hetero / Gay / Bi.
Young / Old. Engineers / Entrepreneurs / Students / Military / Craftspeople.
Trans/Frequent/Occasional.
Nice / Mean / Rude.
Convservative / Liberal
Religious / Non religous
Artists... you get the idea.

Even the way society sees our behavior is diverse. Some supportive, some tolerant, some distain.

We truly are just like everyone else, only more gender fulfilled. I'd try to find a way to represent that.

Hugs. Jerry

[Cheery GG]

Hi Mel,

Like the others say, what a wonderful opportunity. Do you know if this wll be aired in Uk at all....i havent heard of 'womens entertainment'.

From A gg of a m2f ts....i would really like to see hte perspective of the gg explained or at least attempted. The feeling of jealousy, confusion, turmoil, questions with no answers etc. They way in which i have questioned myself and my beliefs on so many different levels.

Of all the cd/ts things ive heard and watched eg films and documentarys, they all seem to be taken from the angel of the cd themselves. It would be a breathe of fresh air for the view point of So's and family members to be considered.

Thank you for asking for our input...please please let us know how it goes.

cheery
xx

[michelle19845]

i was just wanting to throw in a thought on the 3 "men" that are in the show .will you be taking a look at their adolescent years on when they began to feel the way they do and when they came to realization with their femme sides?
i think it's wonderful that you are doing a show on crossdressers! i've seen shows on transexualism,but not on crossdressing..please keep us posted.thaks for asking for our opinions.


thanks again,
michelle19845

[Karren H]

Melanie,

I missed the Secret Wardrobe. Thought it was aired on on of the gay cable channels. And did you see the Inside Edition piece on an Illinois CD and his wife. Titled "She married a Crossdresser". It actually came across very well and mater of fact. I taped it and cut an mpeg movie but its 50 meg! Trying to use some compression to reduce it. IE did try to sensationalize the introduction but the story was tasteful!! Good luck!!

Love Karren

[Shelly Preston]

Hi Melanie

Hope the show goes well

Good Luck to you both

[sherri]

Do you anticipate a negative reaction to your interaction with young children? Is your church willing to go along with filming during their services?

[LucyTwitch]

Hi

As I live in the UK, I wont be able to see the film. But I beleive the soul destroying one goes throw when not be able to Crossdress for verious reasons, then the change in a pearson who can crossdress. Plus how acceptance is important to us And then the fact it is just the way we are born.

Look like the film should bee thre hours long with all that has to be put in to give a far account of us.

Love
Lucy

[VeronicaMoonlit]

Melanie,
It actually came across very well and mater of fact. I taped it and cut an mpeg movie but its 50 meg! Trying to use some compression to reduce it. I

Love Karren

You encoded with MPEG1/2? Try re-encoding as MPEG4/H.264.


Veronica

[Alicia_lynn419]

Wow... what a great opportunity.. but I have to say, in my experience, all of the "serious" reports I've seen on crossdressing always seem to miss the mark - usually because the story is rarely more than a 3 minute segment. If I had anything to suggest, in my humble opinion, it would be this....

Show the crossdresser in an "every day" life... that the guy living next door, husband, brother, co worker or the guy standing in line at the grocery store could be a CD as well as anyone. And I agree with some of the other comments here.... there should be more focus on what its like for the SO of a CD... be honest - it's never easy - even for those who accept - all the time. there are so many issues of identity, roles, fear and confusion.... I just think all too often things are "sensationalized" or at least don't really take into account the feelings of those who might suddenly find themselves living with a CD.

I only speak from my own experience, knowing what pain and heart ache it can cause, when all we want, as CDs, is acceptance.

It is indeed, a tricky situation.