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Marlena Dahlstrom
05-02-2006, 02:30 AM
Thought I'd shared one the secrets of passing in guy-dom: "The Nod" -- the simple up/down head nod that men do to each other to acknowledge each others' presence without speaking.

The subject came up on another forum and someone had an eloquent description of it.


The nod can mean, everything's cool, hello, goodbye, this is my woman, this is a girl I am using for sex, I can kick your a$$, you can kick my a$$, and a lot of situation specific things, but mostly it is just an acknowledgement. I am not sure why, but men must acknowledge each other if they have eye contact. It may be a territorial thing.

Kind of hard how to explain how to use it properly, the best I can suggest is just doing some field observation of the natives.

Kieron Andrew
05-02-2006, 04:56 AM
apparently i have 'The nod' down to a fine art

CaptLex
05-02-2006, 08:59 AM
Thought I'd shared one the secrets of passing in guy-dom: "The Nod" -- the simple up/down head nod that men do to each other to acknowledge each others' presence without speaking.
Yup, I'm familiar with the nod. To me it's a non-verbal interpretation of "dude", which can be used as a greeting, a warning, an affirmation and so many other things. In fact, the nod is how most of us in my support group greet each other - especially if someone is sitting way across the room. Gotta love the nod - it does and says so much without expending too much energy. :thumbsup:

Abraxas
05-02-2006, 05:19 PM
Ahhh, yes... The Nod is my friend!

Fainne the King
05-02-2006, 09:38 PM
The nod is awesome. It beats screaming and hugging each other any day.

Wren
05-03-2006, 09:33 PM
It beats screaming and hugging each other any day.

Nothing can beat screaming and hugging, it's the most over the top of gestures, i hear it burns 2000 calories.

About the nod...so that's what that is. Geez, I look like a hyper/permahigh tipsy drunkard all the time so I never bothered to be unextravagant about anything.

hehe, my SO has had the nod since he was a little girl. hehe. It always pissed me off when we were younger, before he transitioned. I always thought he was ignoring me. born a man on the inside. go figure.

russian_queen
05-04-2006, 01:41 AM
The nod and touching your nose... Really gently with the back of your pointing finger. That's very guyish... :)

Marlena Dahlstrom
05-04-2006, 02:20 AM
To me it's a non-verbal interpretation of "dude", which can be used as a greeting, a warning, an affirmation and so many other things.

'Course out here in California, you can have whole conversations just using "dude".... :bs:


About the nod...so that's what that is. Geez, I look like a hyper/permahigh tipsy drunkard all the time so I never bothered to be unextravagant about anything.

Just remember, minimal emotion, that's the manly way. (Heck, in opening of "Brokeback" -- while they're waiting to get hired -- the guys never even got as far as "the nod.") Just imagine you're channeling Clint Eastwood.... :winking:

Abraxas
05-04-2006, 02:55 AM
DUUUUUUUUDE!

haha, dude is a great word. That and "old bean"-- first time my mate Al called me that, I thought he was off his trolley! haha!

But yes, back to the nod. My guy friends aren't typical, so it's always a handshake or hug hello and goodbye, or perhaps even a kiss on the cheek. Depending on how drunk everyone is, haha. Of course, over distance-- say, across the room or down the corridor or whatever, a nod will suffice until the proper greeting can occur. Or occasionally two fingers in the air-- like a peace sign only less noticeable/ significant.


Either that, or we just call each other names in greeting. "Hey, you stupid ______," "Quit being such a _________," "shut up and eat your ________ biscuits, you galactic _______." That kind of thing (the last one is an inside joke, obviously...).

Wren
05-04-2006, 08:07 PM
Just remember, minimal emotion, that's the manly way. (Heck, in opening of "Brokeback" -- while they're waiting to get hired -- the guys never even got as far as "the nod.") Just imagine you're channeling Clint Eastwood.... :winking:

Hehe, thank you. But when it comes to Wren in drab I like to be myself, limiting my emotional output is not for me. Cutting down my personality to fit into a stereotype would negate why I crossdress to begin with. :p

ChristyCD
05-05-2006, 09:56 AM
Thought I'd shared one the secrets of passing in guy-dom: "The Nod" -- the simple up/down head nod that men do to each other to acknowledge each others' presence without speaking.

The subject came up on another forum and someone had an eloquent description of it.



Kind of hard how to explain how to use it properly, the best I can suggest is just doing some field observation of the natives.

Actually, the "rules" are pretty simple.

If you are within 10 feet of another guy, "The Nod" would be in a downward motion. Think of it as a subsitute for shaking hands.

If you are acknowledging someone further away (outside the hand-shaking distance), "The Nod" would go the other way in an upward motion (not so much a nod as quick "chin lift" to say hey!)

The same upward motion is used to get the attention of the waiter or waitress in a restaurant - make eye contact and do the chin lift, they will come over (beat's shouting "Hey, Dude!")

MsEva
05-05-2006, 09:59 AM
The nod and touching your nose... Really gently with the back of your pointing finger. That's very guyish... :)

:o No its not..that is the Sting....hehe

Scotty
05-06-2006, 12:38 AM
Actually, the "rules" are pretty simple.

If you are within 10 feet of another guy, "The Nod" would be in a downward motion. Think of it as a subsitute for shaking hands.

If you are acknowledging someone further away (outside the hand-shaking distance), "The Nod" would go the other way in an upward motion (not so much a nod as quick "chin lift" to say hey!)

The same upward motion is used to get the attention of the waiter or waitress in a restaurant - make eye contact and do the chin lift, they will come over (beat's shouting "Hey, Dude!")

Yep - you got it. (Coming from my genetic guy side), it's just natural......

It's neat to see this on the other side though, I never paid much attention to it before until I read this tonight....Holding a door for a guy because you are leaving the door, give the nod so he doesn't think yer weird.......

Just a lot of reasons to do it, if you do not know the person, but you dont nod to someone you know, you say "Hey wassup"......or whatever .....

Andrea
05-06-2006, 09:30 AM
Hmmmmm you realise how much you do subtle things like this when its pointed out to you.

I realise i do this all the time to say thanks, Hi, I've done that, etc. Strange really, GG's would probably use verbal or physical ways of saying exactly the same things. I wonder if it stems back to guys in caveman days hunting, not being able to talk for fear of scaring prey and therefore having to use gestures etc to communicate.

mistunderstood
05-09-2006, 11:38 AM
I was in Wal-Mart today buying BB's for my gun and got the nod. I did not realize about the nod till this post. Now I look back and I seem to get the nod more than I realized. I nodded back and the guy walked off. Funny thing was I did not even try to pass today. I got dressed and went out the door not even thinking to try and pass. Maybe I pass more than I think I do.

Kieron Andrew
05-09-2006, 12:40 PM
Maybe I pass more than I think I do.
thats what i now think after i was out with mates the other night (some MTF girls i know), and a genetic guy blatantly turned round and said 'i thought u were a real guy'.........then later on the same evening i needed the bathroom, so went of the accessible loo to find it had be vandalised, so went in the gents, and the cubicle was taken, so the other guy waiting said 'oi you mate, theres a disabled lad here that wants a slash 'pee'.....get your ass out so 'he' can go!!! so maybe just maybe i should also start believing i 'pass'

CaptLex
05-09-2006, 01:43 PM
maybe i should also start believing i 'pass'
Kells and Aaron, I would say you guys are "in like Flynn". :thumbsup:

julz
05-09-2006, 06:25 PM
Hmmmmm you realise how much you do subtle things like this when its pointed out to you.

GG's would probably use verbal or physical ways of saying exactly the same things.

I think the GG equivalent might be smiling. Not sure though.

jessica duprea
05-10-2006, 08:24 PM
If I may, hope I may, I am a very hyper-masculine dude, as most mtf's have had to be.

When a man walks into a room he sizes up the other men and potential females for mating. he is either has an alpha personality or a weaker less assertive personality, now all men have the potential to be assertive but given there strengths and short comings know where they stand with each other.

well most do, I at times looked and projected alpha male and on other actions with bigger guys had to swallow my pride and give them there the way only because I knew in order to show the ape I can hang I would have to really hurt his ass, and I hate fighting it makes me sick, and the last thing I want is to get snapped in two.

so anyway the nod is just that, if you make eye contact with a man you better do something, the nod is that something, without it you just eyeballed a dude and he will remember you as an "a" looking to prove himself.
like you have a problem pal, that is what is going on in the guys head you just eyeballed.

It's all about eye contact. if he smiled at the other guy what do you think would be assumed? gay!!

If he smirked, fight!!
if he giggled, fight!!
if he looked away, timid...gay!!
if he shook his hand...........way to formal the guy is an ass!!
if he said hi...um OK the nod is more masculine, so nod.

Now the nod transcends position and statues the waiter and the prez can, and will nod at each other and it is the same thing, Respect


God that hurt thinking about all that crap.:eek: :rolleyes:

Wren
05-10-2006, 10:46 PM
I am fairly sure we are of a vast quantity of people, the minority on this planet who are obsessing about the intricacies of gestures. Having said that, I think the nod is a stereotype like so many other "Everyone does this" kind of statements.

The subtelties of our movements, vary from culture to culture, time frames, nurture etc. Basing passing on these kinds of things is not unhelpful but somewhat erroneous.

CaptLex
05-11-2006, 11:41 AM
It's all about eye contact. if he smiled at the other guy what do you think would be assumed? gay!!
Actually, I've noticed that gay men (at least the ones around here) don't nod and don't smile immediately. First they do what I call "the stare". If they get stared at in return, then one of them might smile as if to say, "Yeah, I'm checking you out." And if you get a smile back, then it's the green light. So many non-verbal signals. Somebody should write a rule book. :silly:

On another note, I was talking about The Nod with my son, and he says that the downward nod means hello, but the upward nod is usually used to signify "what's your problem?" Or maybe that's just in our neck of the woods. Like I said, I need the rule book.

Julie Avery
05-11-2006, 01:54 PM
I'd never thought of it before you spelled it out, but that sounds right, in any context, not just one involving gay men: the downward nod, at least in our culture, is approving. An upward nod is asking, "What are you about? I'm not getting it." Fascinating, this business of interpreting physical gestures.

Kieron Andrew
05-11-2006, 02:18 PM
im trying to find literature online that will explain female and male mannerisms and the difference im sure ive found something before!

Wren
05-11-2006, 10:45 PM
Funny, as a female I've used this so called nod to symbolize "yes" and "what are you talking about" I think it's a cultural thing.

The more this discussion drags on, the more frustrated I get. What If I don't want to be THAT boy? What if I don't consciously chose my movements based on gender stereotypes? What if I find is that the more natural you act, short of really obvious no-no's, the more you will pass. I saw an MTF cder on the bus the other day and her movements smelled of "Hilga's centre for the womanly arts" textbook jerky type movements. If I nod to every person on this town or act macho manish, I'd look like an idiot. Mostly because I'm 5'3" but also because I've got soft features, and it would be strained and people would know that.

No one is as perceptive of the subtle movements, like the natural nod, as they are of really obvious faked out gestures.

Marlena Dahlstrom
05-12-2006, 12:34 AM
I was talking about The Nod with my son, and he says that the downward nod means hello, but the upward nod is usually used to signify "what's your problem?"

I hadn't thought about it, but yeah that sounds right. That's thing...these sorts of mannerisms are never formally taught and we're rarely conscious of.


What if I find is that the more natural you act, short of really obvious no-no's, the more you will pass.

Yes and no. It's a bit like acting, if the acting shows through it hurts the performance. OTOH, I know post-op MTF TSs whose body language still is that of a guy in a dress. I can't speak for the FTM other than noting that Norah Vincent makes clear in her book that these subtle behaviorial things/ways of speaking were the reason everyone thought "Ned" was gay even though no one doubted he was male.

Part of it is -- that like learning any other sort of skill (skiing, sailing, rollerblading, whatever) -- unless you're "a natural," you invaribly go through a period where you're what's called "consciously competent" you internalize the skill and no longer need to think about.

Of course the larger question is how much one wants to conform to the gender binary.

Ms. Donna
05-12-2006, 09:44 AM
This has been an interesting thread. 'The nod' - while an innocuous gesture - is definitely a 'gendered' - gesture.

I have been trying to be more aware of when I do this and I have noticed a couple of things: I do not do this with women - only men, and I don't decide to do it - it appears to be almost instinctual. There is no thought behind when to nod upwards, downwards or not at all - it just sort of happens. Very deeply engrained scoial programming and hard to overcome.


Also, I've also noticed that in general, women don't do the nod - 'tough' girls will - but stereotypically feminine women don't.

I think Jessica summed it up well. It is a 'respectful' acknowledgement of an individual eminating 'masculine' energy (as it were.)


The more this discussion drags on, the more frustrated I get. What If I don't want to be THAT boy? What if I don't consciously chose my movements based on gender stereotypes? What if I find is that the more natural you act, short of really obvious no-no's, the more you will pass.

I have found this to be very true. I get read as a girl more often when I'm not consciously trying to be feminine. To me, it's almost like people can sense that I'm trying. As a rule, I don't try to be any one 'thing'. Hell, I spent the better part of my life playing the role of 'man' for everyone. For me, to be a 'woman' is to play no less of a role.

All we can do is be ourselves - People will gender us as the way they want to anyway.

Love & Stuff,
Donna

BethGG
05-12-2006, 11:12 AM
Also, I've also noticed that in general, women don't do the nod - 'tough' girls will - but stereotypically feminine women don't.

I've done the nod ;) Except I think I only do it to guys I don't quite like. Sort of like a "I'm acknowledging you but don't feel like saying hi cause I don't want to actually talk to you". Ok and maybe to give a "tough" vibe lol. But I don't think I ever do that to girls.

I'd say the female equivilent is: for someone you don't really know- a small tightlipped smile, someone who is a friend but is across the room- a small wave and a big smile. I think perhaps the "small smile" is the girl to girl equivelent.

Ms. Donna
05-12-2006, 11:47 AM
I'd say the female equivilent is: for someone you don't really know- a small tightlipped smile, someone who is a friend but is across the room- a small wave and a big smile. I think perhaps the "small smile" is the girl to girl equivelent.

Hmm... I've seen the 'small tightlipped smile' but never equated it to the nod - but it does make sense as I've seen it used as described.

With the women I'm friendly with, I do use a variation of the 'small wave and big smile'. I do this kind of one-finger wave with my index finger and a smile. Again, this is not a conscious action - I don't decide to 'wave' this way, I just do.

I've never seen any 'guys' do it so I guess it's kinda 'girlie'...


Great... Now I'm gonna wind up analyzing every friggin' thing I do... :loser:


Love & Stuff,
Donna

sparks
05-12-2006, 12:02 PM
Here is my take on the nod. it started in high school and was considered a "hey I'm cool" kinda hello or simular greeting.
Now I'm simply lazy and don't want to raise my hand in gesture of hello. It is a guy lazy thing to me. Besides if you raise your hand in a hello gesture and said recipiant does not follow suite than you look like a goof. But if you give the cool nod and he/she doesn't respond it generally goes unnoticed. Perhaps a fear of rejection in public.

But I still think it stinks of laziness.

Adam
05-12-2006, 12:47 PM
ok well i come under geek because i put my thumb up dunno why i always have haha suppose it sounds strange but then again thats me :D

CaptLex
05-12-2006, 01:22 PM
ok well i come under geek because i put my thumb up dunno why i always have haha suppose it sounds strange but then again thats me :D
That's the Fonzie gesture, Adam . . . aaaayyyyy! :thumbsup:

Tracy_Victoria
05-12-2006, 06:04 PM
I just have to post this!

I read this thread earlier, as I have read many of the threads in the FtM forum, as I hope and see simularities, in you guys, as I do in myself being a MtF dresser.

Anyway after reading and making several posts as My SO (raksha)dissapeared of somewhere to one of her/our friends only return 10 minutes before our son was coming out of scouts, and she had almost driven pass the place. women!

Anyway, minutes later I'm dispatched off to get him, I pull in to the car park, reverse in to a small gap, the bloke is sitting in the next car, and I give him the nod!

it's probably a reaction or acknoledgement I've given daily, yet never even realised it. hence having read about it here was the first time in my life I have ever been aware of it.

Just thought I'd share that with you guys!

take care

Tracy

ShortSkirt
05-13-2006, 06:42 AM
The nod is something thats done when you make eye contact with another guy.

Having grown up around aggressive macho type men, the nod in this context is something thats only done to other guys that you don't know that well, or at all. For me when in male mode, I'm highly confident and can be very aggressive when I need to be, I rarely nod first in this type of aggressive context. You would use unflinching eye contact to exude your dominance.
It can be an almost animalistic thing, a sign of submission if you nod first, or a sign of dominance if you hold the stare and they nod first. Holding another guy's stare, in the context I mean it, as in a biker bar or some other similar place, is showing them you wont "back down", if you dont know them. Whoever nod's first or looks away, has lost their dominance. It can get pretty thick, depending on the area, the way you wish to be percieved, the crowd your in, ect...

In relation to the natural world, think of the above explanation as the Alpha male, where the Alpha male is the aggressor. There have been many references to the "stare down", and thats what it comes down to in the above stated context.

On the other end of the spectrum. It can be used, for example, in a store. So your in a store and you can't find what your looking for. First you catch the eye of an employee, then nod up, then take a step or two towards them, to let them know you need help. In my way of thinking, you nod up to show them your face, to show them that you want to make contact. If your in said store and you see someone you know, the nod always goes down for a "hello". If you were to see a closer friend from a distance and you planned on talking to them, the nod goes down first for a hello, then back up with a smile, all the while walking toward them and keeping eye contact. In all respects this is done very quickly, while maintaining eye contact.

This is a very interesting part of the male perception and behavior, and to be honest, before I read this thread it had never even crossed my mind why we even do this, it's just ingrained.

I hope this has shed a bit of light on certain aspect's and if anyone has any question's, I'll help in any way I can.

CaptLex
05-13-2006, 08:51 AM
I'd say the female equivilent is: for someone you don't really know- a small tightlipped smile, someone who is a friend but is across the room- a small wave and a big smile. I think perhaps the "small smile" is the girl to girl equivelent.
Yup, I'm very familiar with the small, tight-lipped smile. I've definitely done this without even thinking.

Gabriel
05-13-2006, 08:30 PM
The nod is a life saver. I usually follow the nod of the approaching male pedestrian with one of my own; saves me the need to use my unmanly voice. :D

Wren
05-17-2006, 03:16 AM
Yup, I'm very familiar with the small, tight-lipped smile. I've definitely done this without even thinking.

The tight-lipped smile...Reminds me of my mother-in-law. I think that one means, I want to kill you but I'm excercising decorum. Or maybe it's just her.

Ms. Donna
05-17-2006, 08:48 AM
Great... Now I'm gonna wind up analyzing every friggin' thing I do... :loser:

I can't believe I never paid attention to this before. :doh:

OK, I do the 'small tightlipped smile' thing - in fact, I do it a lot.

The following all assume that I have made eye-contact with the other person:
If I pass a woman I don't know at work, she gets the 'small tightlipped smile'.
If I pass a woman I do know at work, she gets my one finger wave and a smile.
If I pass a man I don't know at work, sometimes they get the nod - sometimes not. I'm not sure of the criteria in effect here.
If I pass a man I do know at work, they get the nod - usually with a "wa'ssup" or "how's it goin". At a distance, they just get the nod.


Who would have thought that such a simple gesture could generate so much discussion. :cool:

Love & Stuff,
Donna

livy_m_b
05-17-2006, 09:39 AM
I suspect the exact meaning of the nod varies from place to place and subculture to subculture so here's what it seems to mean to me. It's true that there is the downward nod and an upward nod. It's also true that men don't always nod to each other when meeting the gaze - sometimes there's a brief contact followed by ignoring the other. The downward nod is usually when you know the person andthey're fairly near and you want to acknowledge them but don't expect to spend any time with them at the moment - it's like what's left of a tip of the hat. The upward nod is usually when you know the person and he's farther away and you want to acknowledge him - it's like what's left of saying "Hey!" or "Hello". There is also the embarrassed nod, which might be either, mostly depending on the distance away. And there is also the aggression mitigating nod which occurs when you've accidentally been staring at someone and they notice.

With women, the smile often takes the place of the nod and distance doesn't matter so much. Typically a man will notice a woman from farther away and will then ignore her (unless they are close) until he reaches a certain distance and then will quickly glance and if they know the person smile or say hi. Meanwhile the woman has been observing the man with her peripheral vision. If the man does not acknowledge the woman at the distance when she expects that glance, you'll often find that the woman is watching you - it seems like she's wondering what's up. It's my suspicion that the distance at which men and women scope each other out is different and that this permits each to observe the other briefly without committing any gesture.

Ms. Donna
05-17-2006, 10:14 AM
Do guys do that sort of thing a lot? Like, give the nod to random strangers? Or is it just me? 'Cos this has happened before.

As a rule, I won't initiate the nod with stranger. I will, however, acknowledge and nod back if the other guy nods first.

Love & Stuff,
Donna

CaptLex
05-17-2006, 08:33 PM
Yeah, that's what I usually do. But do you have strangers acknowledging you? It seems weird to me.
Maybe it's a regional thing. For example, here in the big city most people wouldn't say hello to a stranger walking down the street, but in small towns and smaller cities around this country it's quite common to have total strangers greet you as if they know you. Having grown up in the big city, I found this odd behavior when I first ventured out to smaller communities. I'm guessing it might be something like that.

Wren
05-17-2006, 11:58 PM
I got the nod the other day, from some guy I've never seen before in my entire life. I was on my way to uni, walk past this guy, he gives me the nod, I give him the nod back, and walk away thinking, "Who the hell was that!?"

Maybe he thought you were hot. Or was having a head spasm.

sparro
05-18-2006, 12:14 AM
I nod at people. I picked it up... somewhere. I use it to say hello, or in acknowlegement. I've seen lots of people nod in my lifetime. Boys and girls, for all kinds of reasons. This is getting a little ridiculous.

It's a cross cultural thing, from neighbourhood to neighbourhood, really. I think this for has given it MORE IMPORTANCE THEN IT IS ACTUALLY WORTHY OF. Think of it this way; a ftm who nods, but has a sashé in their walk gives them away as female, how come a ftm who doesn't nod but has an androgenous to manly walk can pass, with or without "THE nod".

I LOVE to scream and hug. I'm a man who's comfortable with his sexuality, and expression of emotion X_X. It is who I am.

Marlena Dahlstrom
05-18-2006, 01:04 AM
Do guys do that sort of thing a lot? Like, give the nod to random strangers? Or is it just me? 'Cos this has happened before. (One of the best ones being when some guy walked past and said, " 'Sup brother.")

As others have said, the amount of greeting varies by location and culture. For example, last weekend I was doing the Sam Spade walking tour (http://www.donherron.com/tour.html) in San Francisco (BTW, highly recomended) much of which is in the Tenderloin (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tenderloin%2C_San_Francisco), which is a fairly rough area of town. I found I was definitely doing it more -- it was "you don't mess me with me, I won't mess with you" thing. The "wassup" thang can be a further way of reducing potential tension.

There's also a territorial aspect to it. For example, on a busy street I probably don't get the nod to most other guys. The exception being if one ofrboth of us needs to manuever around the other. But if it's pretty empty, I'm more likely to do it, especially if the other guy is standing around "owning" the space where he is.

Sparro, I agree "the nod" isn't going to make or break whether someone blends in. I think it's been a topic of discussion more because it's something that's usually not consciously done, so it's both a bit intriguing to some people and takes a bit more explaining since usually one doesn't think about how and why it's done.

julz
05-18-2006, 01:16 PM
Let me chime in from my "guy side" here!

You have to do this the right way though. You NEVER hold the door open and let him walk through ahead of you...that's way too strange. If you are going to be polite, you have to walk through first, and hold it open behind you for him. A quick (and I mean QUICK) glance to signal that you did the polite thing for him can be OK, but nothing more, no smile, eye contact, or other form of acknowledgement, otherwise he'll "weird out" on you.

Hmm. I don't care if guys think I'm wierd, I still hold the door open from behind. It is kind of my way of saying "screw you chivarly". It does really weird guys out though. Still, I agree with Wren. Do what's natural. Generally as far as greeting other people I smile really big if I am initiating the gesture (I guess because I grew up on a small island where I knew just about everyone). If someone else nods/smiles/waves first I'll nod/smile/wave back.

Wren
05-18-2006, 11:51 PM
Validation, it tingles.

Seriously, as my 5'3" female self I still hold doors open the chivalrous way for whomever. I get wierd looks, screw them though.

Freyja
05-19-2006, 09:28 AM
I've always nodded, but always put it down to my not being very demonstrative and being at a loss in terms of small talk and the like. I just don't do big reactions. I can't say I considered it masculine. And I open the door if I'm in front or if the other person is carrying something...

I generally stare at people blankly as they go through the whole 'good morning, how are you' routine....

I prefer to open, and have the door opened 'for me' by whoever is in front just holding onto it so as the other person can follow, not the whole "here let me now open the door for you" scenario. My SO opens my car door for me, has done for 3 years, still weirds me out (except when I'm carrying something with two hands)

CaptLex
05-19-2006, 10:43 AM
Let me chime in from my "guy side" here! You have to do this the right way though. You NEVER hold the door open and let him walk through ahead of you...that's way too strange. If you are going to be polite, you have to walk through first, and hold it open behind you for him. A quick (and I mean QUICK) glance to signal that you did the polite thing for him can be OK, but nothing more, no smile, eye contact, or other form of acknowledgement, otherwise he'll "weird out" on you.
I've never had a problem with this - men "weirding out" on me. I always hold doors open for people - old people, young people, men and women, people with kids, pets and packages, people in wheelchairs or with walkers or canes, just people - out of common courtesy. In fact, I usually get thanked by the men, while a lot of the women just walk on through without even an acknowledgement - to which I always yell "You're welcome!" :tongueout

Taylor105
06-25-2006, 10:48 AM
I hold doors for people. It's common courtesy. As far as the nod goes. I have done it my whole life. Sometimes other guys nod to me first. I usually nod back and say "wassup"? Usually they say "not much". This is the whole convo. We are walking towards each other and then passing. I mean most people really don't care what's up with someone they don't know and the other person is just answering because it was a question. lol But yeah, I have gotten the nod from guys my whole life. I guess to me it is normal. Taylor