"One of the guys"

[GypsyKaren]

For most of my life I tried so hard to be a man, to be one of the guys, and I always failed miserably. I wanted to fit in so bad, to join the pack, but nothing worked. I tried my hand at sports and was a total flop. I got into weight lifting real heavy for awhile, and though I did bulk up quite a bit, I still felt like an outsider in the gym.

At parties and social gatherings I'd hover with the boys, always unable to get into the conversation. I always ended up with the woman, this was always more comfortable for me, and I felt like I fit in, but never with the guys. I was so desparate to be one of them! It wasn't until I finally accepted myself as Karen that I put a stop to that nonsense, and now I'm happy for it.

Anyway, I was just wondering how hard you all tried to be "one of the guys", or "one of the girls" for my FtM friends?

Karen

[Daintre]

I tried very hard "to be one of the guys", I remember as a boy, my father giving me his prized soccer ball and cleats, ( he played in England). I was chubby as a boy and had no interest in sports, much to my father's chagrin. I grew up and worked in a lumber store with rough male types, the work was very physical and as I recall the language used was quite profane. I tended to spend more and more of my time with the female office staff, finally as the manager, I tried to walk a fine line being Mr. macho in the yard, and being myself in the office.

[Teresa Amina]

Always was tough that trying to fit in. Honestly couldn't figure out what the problem was. The other guys were just so different. Really made an ass of myself with sports, not only just couldn't perform but had a problem with the concept- "Why the heck would you want to do that?" Team sports still leave me cold though individual competition like the Olympics are interesting. But over the years I managed to build a good cover that got me through with enough guy interests (or the ability to feign them) to keep Teresa hidden.

[BeckyCath]

Loathed team sports at school, couldn't hold my drink, wanted to have serious conversations rather than monosylabilic "beavus and butthead" style communication...

I did go through a phase of "angry young man" and over compensated by trying to be macho... but that was probably a feminine idea of what masculinity was about.

I ended up in Engineering, and just kept my head down and did the work, but failed running my own business because I'm not the "alpha male" leader/ manager... so i struggled there...

I always found it difficult to make male friends, the one i did have, i loved him, and wanted to be with him, but neither of us were "gay" so my morals made it difficult...

I have accpeted myself now, and am happier as a woman... Even other mums at school are talking to me, accepting me into their "club"...

Rebecca

[CaptLex]

I succeeded at being 'one of the girls'. But it sucked. Their conversations, as a group, were uninteresting to me. I longed to be one of the guys. Like you I'd kind of fall away and hang with the guys at parties or places where the people weren't well known to me. They were way better company. And now, I'm 'one of the guys'. It's way more fun. :)
Same here, sort of. I became "one of the girls", but it left me feeling like there was something missing, so I also befriended the boys. Also, I was never comfortable hanging out with girly girls, only with those that I had things in common (besides being born female). I guess I'm still more comfortable around guys now, but I do have female friends and now that I'm out to them, it's something of a relief. :whew!:

[Katrina]

I've never really been good at being one of the guys. I was never into team sports and didn't really like filling my head with stats for football or baseball players so I was excluded from half the conversations that my friends had. I did fit in with the conversations that revolved around computers, but then again I am a nerdy girl... ;)

[Clare]

As a young male, I never fit in with the 'boys' and their activities. This continued through my early adult life until I accepted that I just did not like the typical male role.

I was always hanging around the girls and joining in their activities (unless it was obvously femininie orientated - didn't want the guys noticing) and generally just avoiding macho type things.

Even today in family gatherings, i'll spend time with my female cousins (I have lots of them fortunately) rather than with my male relatives. It's the same in social settings, - I end up chatting to the women as one who is accepted in their group.

I was always ok in sports, but not traditional male orientated ones - more like generic or mixed sex sports.

I've always just been more comfortable and felt like I belonged with the girls - I can't explain why!

[Ebonee_Tgirl]

i started crossdressing real young and though i definitely felt feminine i still did all the boy things and enjoyed them. Played soccer and basketball and was a science fiction geek lol. All my friends were boys. Each year the internal struggle got worse though and at 15 i just sort of KNEW i was not really a boy. So my response, i went at being a boy harder than ever. Mr. Macho. I even tried to get with girls though i had no real interest in them sexually. That lasted about 4 months. i guess it was my last dying attempt to deny the truth i knew. Being the kind of person i was once i realized that i was being stupid and that i was really a girl, i went at that with a vengence and have ever since. Now i feel comfortable around men for the first time in my life, cos i don't have to pretend to be like them. Despite all the crap we have to go through coming out as women in the end i prefer it to trying to impress people or be like them when i'm NOT. It is hard to play basketball in heels though. :D

[Amelie]

I was never one of the guys and I never tried to be one of the guys.

I am basiclly a loner, OK in my youth I was sort of a tag along for other guys. I was an extra whenever they needed my help, otherwise they didn't bother with me.

After my teens I became more of a loner and followed my own path. I had one or two close friends but they were also on the bizarre side of life and they didn't follow the guys or girls.

Except for my youth and early teens I have never been a guy so I didn't try to be one of the guys, I wasn't a guy myself.

[gennee]

I was always quiet and aloof. I enjoyed being this way because I have a number of interests. I enjoy cooking as much as a football game. As a TV/TG, I love my feminine qualities. I have always tried to be myself and feel comfortable in my own skin. My transgenderism has made me a more complete and liberated person.

Gennee

[JeanneF]

I've never really had problems being "one of the guys", but I've always felt more comfortable hanging out with the girls. I have a pretty large circle of friends of both sexes, and with the exception of a couple of the guys, I'm much closer to the girls in general. If the girls get together to go shopping or watch girlie movies and such, I tend to get invited along. I'm not complaining. :)

I'm not a sports person generally, although in the last few years I've gotten really into (American) football. Besides that, when my guy friends start talking baseball or basketball, I just shut up and let them talk and hope the conversation will eventually switch to something that I want to talk about. Luckily, most of my male friends are intelligent enough that we will sit and discuss politics or something else instead of sports.

With my relatives, I'm very much closer with my female cousins than my male cousins. At Thanksgiving dinner or other gatherings, I'm much more likely to be in the kitchen with the women chatting.

[~Dee~]

ive never actually fit as one of the guys.
i grew up here in Australia, but im english.
my accent is mostly english ... oh and i have an olive complexion..
so i found that no matter what i did in school and social events, i was always the outsider. school kids either teased me because i sounded different, or because i look different.

so why bother? it would only be setting myself up for failure.

most of the guys i knew were threats to my existance rather than someone i had to prove things to.
mind you, most of the girls tended to not want me around either .. :D

i just kept to myself for the most part and ignored the world. when i did find some friends, id just be myself. afterall .. im thin and weedy, so no matter how much i could try to be 'one of the lads' theres no way i could actually blend in.

not that im complaining. :happy:

D.

[Ms. Donna]

I've never really been good at being one of the guys. I was never into team sports and didn't really like filling my head with stats for football or baseball players so I was excluded from half the conversations that my friends had. I did fit in with the conversations that revolved around computers, but then again I am a nerdy girl... ;)

Same here. No interest in sports - although I do like watching hockey - and woman's roller-derby. :)

I'm good for just about any techie conversation: computers, audio/musical gear, etc. - so in that area I 'fit in'. Other than that, I'm not good in a group of guys.

Growing up, most of my friends were girls. Same in high school and college. I did make an effort in college when I pledged and became a 'brother' in a fraternity. I thought that the 'male bonding' thing would cure me... No such luck. A good group of guys, but I always felt like the odd 'man' out. :(

In general, I associate mostly with women socially. My lunch crew at work is three other women from the other side of the floor - and me. I'm kinda 'one of the girls' with them.

Love & Stuff,
Donna

[Sarahgurl371]

I have never really fit anywhere. In school I was more the boy you could be friends with than the boy you should date. With males friends I also just didn't fit well. I did have a couple of close male friends but they where other outcasts too. We did stuff like riding dirtbikes and that. Never did like sports nor was any good at them. Always was intimidated by other guys. Afraid really.

To this day I still don't feel I am like the other guys. So socially I am pretty alone. I usually find myself trying to prove myself to everyone all the time. Trying to be tough enough, or macho enough that they will just let me be in peace. I have always felt threatened by men. Threatened that they will see my "weakness" and beat the crap out of me. So I definatley have a "cover". I do find that I can pretty easily talk to the girls. But only on the level that I am one of them. Not as a male looking for a female. So I think they don't see me as a threat or an interest. I think most of them want the big bad manly man in public too. So it would seem that in my adult life I am still the guy to be friends with not date.

So it seems to me that I am neither. Just out here on my own swinging in the breeze. Don't really want it that way, but thats the way it is.

[michelle19845]

i never fit in with the group of guys in high school,previous to that i did.but from high school till now,i have been more with the ladies than men.90% of my email addresses are females or f2m,i can talk one on one with females and i am not one of competition.i have not ever been a competitor,i like to go fast,but won't ever race anyone,i don't say "hey,check out my new...." ,it don't make me feel better and i'm not out to impress the other guys.i've recieved more teasing and attitude from males than anything.


michelle19845

[Jennaie]

I did not have a problem being one of the guys. I loved surfing and girls, the thing I did not love was sports, team sports. I knew nothing of sports and all the talk about them left me in the dark. At parties and gatherings I always hang with the girls. I usually spend a bit of time with the guys and then find my way to the kitchen to spend my evening with the girls. It seems to go along with my gender identity test results, about 90% female. lol.