Giving up crossdressing and friendship

[steffie39]

I saw one post in this forum tonight about giving up crossdressing. It made me wonder what I would do if I ever had to give it up?

I don't really envision ever giving it up unless extenuating circumstances came into play (even then, everything would have to fall into place). I think even IF I ever did, I would still like to stay in touch with all the friends I have made in the short time I have gone out (both from CD meetings and from forums). I think there is more to friendship than just having crossdressing in common however. I don't just think of my CD friends as girls but total persons. Each of us is unique yet we all share a common bond, which is respect and support for one another. These are integral to friendship. Good friends are like diamonds: precious but few.

Steffie

[Kate Simmons]

Steffie, I agree with you totally, 100% Ericka

[Laurie Ann]

Steffie great point and true for me.

[Wenda]

Interesting point. I don't come to the forum to chat with crossdressers, I come to chat with friends with whom I have something in common, and with whom I can be comfortable being honest. I just had an interesting revelation, are some of the girls attractive because they are my sister or because they are attractive? I need to sleep on this one.

[Faye Emmette]

I really enjoy being with my friends here and if ...hmmmm no, can't think of 'giving it up'..
Our forum is graced with some stunning beauty to which I am attracted but for the majority of us who don't have that school-girl figure or walk-in wardrobe of clothes, I feel the same warmth and consideration.
No Stef, I think I am here for the long haul both attire and friendship-wise.
XX
F.

[CammyT]

Aloha Girls,
I too feel I couldn't give up becoming en femme when needed. It would be turning your back to a very intimate and vital part that makes me whole! This site is soo great, with so many kindred souls. Love you ladies!

[Kate Simmons]

Interesting pint. I don't come to the forum to chat with crossdressers, I come to chat with friends with whom I have something in common, and with whom I can be comfortable being honest. I just had an interesting revelation, are some of the girls attractive because they are my sister or because they are attractive? I need to sleep on this one.
All my sisters are beautifula to me Hon and always will be. Yourself included. Love, Ericka

[Bev06 GG]

Well I think that the friendship aspect is true of all of us really. Everyone needs to feel a sense of belonging and acceptance. One of the things that Ive discovered over the years is that minority groups seem to have a very strong bond with one another and there is a great sense of loyalty amongst the ranks. I wonder if its anything to do with the fact that they know what its like to suffer discrimination in some way shape or form and so are more likely to pull together in the same direction and stand united.
Ive often thought that if my partner and I were to split up (God forbid), I'd still hang around here because of the friends that I have made. It would be bad enough losing him without losing the friendship and support that ive gained from being a member of this site.
Take care
BEVxxxx

[FionaAlexis]

Steffie,

I gave up dressing for over 10 years. It was at a time when I felt that the best solution to my gender confusion would be shoehorn myself into a normal male life. For much of the time I didn't miss the dressing as my life was extraordinarily active - marriage, overseas trips, moving house, raising my daughter and career. It wasn't until I sat down again that I started to dwell on my gender issues, become frustrated and the need to present as a female re-kindled.

I think it pretty much depends on how content you are with yourself - but certainly I can empathise with those who would try to give up at some point.

So far as friendships go - I have only made one real life friendship with another tranny and that was when I was quite young. Sadly my life changed and she didn't fit - and I moved to Australia and we lost contact. I have never sought out tranny friends in real life - I am not part of the tranny social scene though I have been in the past. My experience then was that while most girls are happy to meet you at the club or outing - you are still quarantined in that 'other' segment of their lives which they will keep separate for fear of discovery - so I didn't expect to be introduced to family and friends anytime soon.

This notion of 'internet' friends is quite a new one and, indeed, the internet is just another way of communicating. Forums like this do provide invaluable information, a great sense of support, a feeling of community - and they lessen that feeling of isolation particularly for those who are private cd-ers. And the majority seem to be nice, sincere, considerate people. But, by and large, any 'friendships' made, and based solely, on the 'net are transient - and nice words typed on a pc, however comforting and sincere or complimentary and fun - are not a substitute for communication with your family, your friends or your colleagues in your real life every day world.

Fiona xx

[Amy]

I decided not to crossdress a long time ago but I have continued to come to this site. I'm not exactly sure why. Partly because I still feel the urge to dress from time to time and it's nice to have a place to come and talk about it even though I don't post very often and partly beccause I have met nice people hear and I like to see what's going on. I've signed off a couple of times saying goodbye and you'll never see me again and I've seen other post very simular. You don't have to leave if you aren't dressing. I feel that people still except me hear even if I don't concider myself a crossdresser. I'm not sure yet if coming hear helps me not to dress or not but I do believe if you truely wish to quit you can. But I am glad of the friends here.

[steffie39]

Amy,

Just curious: how long ago did you quit? Was it grater than 10?

I'm sure if someone wants to quit they can. It seems like I have always come across posts where a girl says she has quit for as long as 10 years and then gone back. What is it about the number 10? I've never seen a larger number mentioned or I've never heard someone say something like they've been away from this for "an x number of years and still counting" where x is greater than 10. It must be possible though, I think.

Steffie

[Clare]

I really enjoy being with my friends here and if ...hmmmm no, can't think of 'giving it up'..
Our forum is graced with some stunning beauty to which I am attracted but for the majority of us who don't have that school-girl figure or walk-in wardrobe of clothes, I feel the same warmth and consideration.
No Stef, I think I am here for the long haul both attire and friendship-wise.:iagree:
You said it Sis.

[Lawren]

I don't believe that anyone can ever lose a friend that is worth keeping. If you lose the common ground, (i. e. crossdressing), on which the friendship is based you may lose contact but the bond of friendship is still there. If, however, it came down to giving up CDing or losing just one good friend then I would quit CDing. Good friends are just too valuable and too rare to throw away.

P.S. I would certainly not reject a friend over CDing or not CDing.

[Amy]

Well, I can say that it's been 10 year. Seeing how I only really recognized an interest in wearing womens clothing 2 years ago. I know it was there before but I shrugged it off.When I decided to do something about it and I found this site which helped a lot. To say I quit doesn't give respet to those that have struggled with this for much longer than me. I have only dress a few times so I don't feel I've had to overcome the habbit so much as avoid getting started.

[Kyara]

Each of us is unique yet we all share a common bond, which is respect and support for one another.” Steffie

“I don't come to the forum to chat with crossdressers, I come to chat with friends with whom I have something in common, and with whom I can be comfortable being honest.” Wenda

“Our forum is graced with some stunning beauty…”Faye……I WOULD SIMPLE ADD BEAUTY INSIDE AND OUT! (Yarah)

“Love you ladies!” Cammy

“…..it would be bad enough losing………..the friendship and support that I’ve gained from being a member of this site.” Bev06

“I am glad of the friends here” Amy

“Good friends are just too valuable and too rare to throw away.” Lawren

I believe that you ladies have put it in clear terms. I hardly ever get to see my best all-time friends……..but when it happens it feels like we can continue on talking about whatever we choose to talk, where we left off “yesterday”. A friend is someone your soul can be naked with and feel at home. Being new in the forum, does not preclude me from being able to see beyond the surface of our physical bodies……..and what I see is what makes me stay….and love it!