Situational Anaylsis

[Dana]

Hypothecitcal situation

You're in a relationship with a GG. GG doesn't know about your cross dressing desires ~ needs. You're tyring to be cool about it ~ you're in non-disclousre mode ~ because you're pretty certain she couldn't handle the truth.

Day in and day out ~ what drives you wild about being a CD, and living with a GG? Thoughts, evny, jealousy, does it weaken your control? Are you drawn to her clothes, jewelry, makeup ~ like a moth to a flame?

[Clare]

This was my life for 9 years! I always watched my wife applying makeup to learn the proper way. I bought her clothes that I liked so that she could wear them and i'd wish they were mine! I was always envious of her heels too.

I guess I was always jealous that she was able to dress and use makeup anytime she wished. It was my desire to always share the experiences with her, but it was not to be.

[Shelly Preston]

Hi Clare

I suppose watching you wife dress when you can is some form of self torture.

I was in a similar position but had to tell her before I went mad.

[Kate Simmons]

My experience is similar to Clare's. I've always said my best teacher on how to be a woman was my wife. It's not only the makeup and clothing, etc. but her mannerisms, moves and general attitude (i.e. what is a woman interested in?). I have developed my own feminine personality however. How I approach things as Richard is quite different than how I approach them as Ericka. Take care, Ericka

[allisonrn06]

I am inthis situation- married to an unsupportive spouse,and I feel totally alone most of the time.I do have this forum now in which to vent,but it's not the same as having someone that I can talk to face to face.I mentioned in another recent post that I'm looking into a support group,but am unsure as to how often I will be able to attend meetings without my wife being suspicious about what I'm doing.So if I want to go,I'll probably have to tell her
what the group is about,which could mean trouble.Yet another example of the cd'ers "vicious circle".

[FionaAlexis]

Its a hypothetical.....

so you got some choices - 'A' doing nothing and get more frustrated, moody etc. and results will probably damage your relationship. 'B' dress in secret - if you plan it well and are careful and discrete you will get away with it for as long as you wish. 'C' tell her what you are and what you want to do - and hope you arrive at some compromise - if she truly can't handle it then best to get it sorted now rather than many painful years down the track. Painful for both of you that is.

Fiona xx

[Joy Carter]

I'm the one to talk on this subject because I have lived in secret or as secret as one can be while married for over thirtyfive years. The stress alone was killing me because I knew the pain to her was great seeing her man in a dress was to much. So Joy has accepted herself finaly and is slowly getting the courage to talk with the SO it's just we are so busy no time to talk. It's such an important thing we should talk I know for both our sakes. :rant:

And yes I used to to buy all the time for her mostly what I thought looked good and most of the time it was a flop. Have not done so in maybe twenty years. So she's getting a new bike (Schwin) for mothers day the old one is worn out It's a safe buy.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

dead serious answer.

that was me for 15 yrs..had my "explosions" of dressing, internet stories, etc...
basically ended up living a whole 2nd life and i didnt really realize it and now i'm looking at a divorce

i knew my wife wouldnt handle it well, and she didnt...she has given me ZERO opportunity to talk about, ZERO support and now we splitting..
trust your instincts...i went against mine and my instincts were right..

[Clare]

Hi Clare

I suppose watching you wife dress when you can is some form of self torture.Oh, you are so right Shelly. I guess that's life for those of us whose SO's wouldn't understand our need to crossdress.

[Clare]

My experience is similar to Clare's. I've always said my best teacher on how to be a woman was my wife. It's not only the makeup and clothing, etc, but her mannerisms, moves and general attitude...I have to entirely agree with you Ericka.

[gender_blender]

Seems kinda dumb to let it get that far, but ok. Also seems rather insulting to the the significant other to keep a large portion of who you are secret from them. Let the cat out of the bag easily, referencing books and things relating to transgenderism before telling them what you are.

Strangely, I've had this problem because if the person can't figure out that I'm transgendered or doesn't know already from my open lifestyle, I would tell them all about it.

They have to appreciate the entire person to get the full benefit.


~Charlie

[TGMarla]

i knew my wife wouldnt handle it well, and she didnt...she has given me ZERO opportunity to talk about, ZERO support and now we splitting..
trust your instincts...i went against mine and my instincts were right..It's easy to criticize and condemn a situation when you're not in it. But there are many of us who didn't tell their wives for many well documented reasons. There in't a clear right or wrong there. It just is. My wife now knows all about me. But we still don't talk about it. It seems that it's something that she just doesn't choose to make a part of her already complicated life. I have come to realize that this may well be the way she wants it. And as of right now, without regard to the past or the future, I'm alright with it.

[Adrienne Heels]

I don't think my wife would accept my dressing at all. So I have to stay in the closet from her. The funny thing is that she is really the masculine one in our relationship, and I have the more feminine tendencies/personality!