What if?

[christine55]

Years ago when I was 20, at times mad with the unfulfilled desire to dress as and be a girl, trying to maintain a manly image, which of course did not work very well, a girl I was seeing confessed to me a fantasy she had to dress as a man and make love. I think she had me pegged as a cross dresser even though I had no access to dressing at the time. Women are much smarter than men in this kind of thing. In my foolish timidity I was afraid to confess my condition to her. What a silly boy I was. Thinking back I wonder what would have happened if I had opened myself up to her. I am now far too old to undergo srs. I would have no desire to do that and be just an old lady.
But what if I had opened myself to her I am sure I would have been dressed in her clothes and she in mine. We were about the same size. She would have early on taught me to do my make up and how to dress. Just a thought as to how my life might have taken a much different and possibly much better turn if I had only had a little bit of courage at that time.
Hugs, Christine

http://myweb.cableone.net/rjoh2/pinkblouse.jpg

[ChristineRenee]

I hear ya Christine. But we were all so closeted back then and fearful of discovery that we couldn't take the risk of being open about it. I would have loved a scenerio like that but I would admit to you that back in the day I would have probably done the same thing you did. I would really love for my wife to be able to role play and dress in men's clothes with me en femme for a lovemaking session but my wife is far too grounded in "normality" and reality for that. No imagination or grasp for fantasy role playing at all. More is the pity because I think it would really strengthen our marriage and bring us more closer together intimately. So I have to settle for her a least being tolerant of my CD'ing and being a TG I guess. But no question about it...I feel a void there. The price I have to pay I guess for being TG and married. If only my wife was a woman like Kew...we probably would be true soulmates then.

Life goes on....(sigh)


Love,
Christine

[Rachel Elizabeth]

Ditto!

Had I really understood what was happening and who I really was, I would have taken a
different path. I could have been in a happy "lesbian" relationship. The idea of staying
home, caring for the house, the garden, making dinner for my "companion", evenings out,
etc., would have been absolutely fabulous.

Who knows. It may still happen.

Hugs....

[Julie]

Christine, we all have those situations from the past we are continually asking that question, what if? We can think what things might have been although off course we'll never relly know.

If things had worked out as you put them you'd probably be sitting there now giving us girls some worldly advice. :)

Lovely picture also (I'm saying this on a daily basis aren't I?) :D

[JennyCD]

"What if" can torture a person endlessly. I used to do the "what if" things a lot. I really can drive you mad.

I have thought "What if I allowed myself to be who I wanted to be way back then", but then I realize that then I would never have become the person I am now.

No "what if" for me thank you.

Interesting post.