Dress or go home...

[megan163]

I'm conflicted about further excursions en femme. I went out last week in the middle of the day - a first for me as I'd only ventured out after dark previously. Anyway, mid-afternoon on my way home from work, I changed in the car and went to a busy mall. As I walked in, a young male employee on his break says "what's up girl?" I'm guessing he knew I was a CD but wishfully wonder if I passed. Once inside, I browsed the aisles of cosmetics and lingerie. Finally, I stopped by one makeup counter I had been previously at night. I said hello to a friendly clerk who had also helped me before. I asked her for her objective opinion and she said "I looked very natural." I replied "so not bad, huh?" and she said "I said very nice, not not bad...very natural." On way out I stopped by the ladies room and again passed with no problems.

So, now I am with deep coflict. I feel at once the desire to purge and quit while ahead. Or again venture out sometime. I still fear being discovered at some point and the possible fallout with friends and family. Anyone else go through such issues? How do you deal with it? The temptation is always present as I work some distance from home and have opportunity.

[TGMarla]

Don't purge. That's not the answer. It won't necessarily keep you from running out an buying new clothes after a while. Quit while ahead? Hey, it's up to you. But remember that CDing should be a pleasurable thing for you. You should enjoy it. It's not worth doing at all if all you get out of it is nervewracking grief. I assume, if you're like the rest of us, that you do this because you like to, have to, are compelled to. So don't let it eat you up inside, and don't do things unless you're ready to. Good planning beats an impromptu, wing it situation if you are concerned about being outed. So calm down, have a drink, and relax. Everything's all right.

[Jodie_Lynn]

I'm not sure I understand the problem here.

If I read your post correctly, you recieved a compliment from an interested male, and an affirmation of sorts from a female who was aware, apparantly, that you were crossdressed.

I don't see why that would make you want to purge. IMO, it was a positive experience, but I think your own self doubt is gnawing at you.

[Nikki Dee]

Megan....Don't purge...what's the point.??...you will only regret it. accept who you are and concentrate on the enjoyment you obviously get.
Nikki. x

[Kristen Kelly]

If I can pass 90 percent of the time Im feeling great those other 10 percent I give them a big smile maybe a short answer and I'm off. I was playing the slots dressed in Atlantic City and a older gentleman sat down next to me, he played for about 10 mins when he asked me, "Are you a man", for which I answered in my best fem voice, "Why yes but thank you that you had to ask", and gave Him a big smile which he returned and said no more.
As to being found out, by now my neighbors must have seen me, they havent said anything yet, as for my family they dont know yet. I've fought these feelings for years and have final accepted, "This is me", accept me or leave me be.

[EricaCD]

I agree with the other girls here: whatever you do, don't purge. Besides being an economically foolish thing to do, purging actually seems to be independently damaging. Essentially it is a concession that you are right to be ashamed of what you are doing.

That said, while my excursions have not been as interpersonally extensive as yours, I certainly understand the "do I continue with this" concern. I'm going through it now as well. My recommendation is to take a break from going out for a bit. If the urge comes back, great! If not, then enjoy your femme self by yourself. If you feel you don't even have an urge to dress, then put your stuff away for a while. There's no rule that says you lose girl status by not dressing for a period.

Good luck sorting out your emotions on this one. If you come to a magic answer, please PM me and save me the mental work :)

Erica

[Kate Simmons]

The girls are right. Purging is definately NOT the answer because you feelings never go away entitely, may just wane back and forth sometimes. I've purged several times and was definately not a happy camper afterward. You can always store your stuff away if you feel you need to do it Hon. Then, when needed you can pull it out of mothballs to begin anew. Before I came out openly, I always had a "stash" in my hidden in my house. When the urge returned it was right there for me, sort of a "survival kit" if you will. Of course whatever you decide to do is your choice. Take care, EKR

[Nlenro-nu2]

hi! Meagan, I'm Nlenro-nu2 I'm not familiar with the word Purge it's not a Canadian word that's for sure! If you are comfortable with your clothing go ahead and go out the way you feel most comfortable. So what if some jerks find out about you. Why worry about what they think? Their perceptions are not your perceptions! As for family.. my family knew about my wants and feelings long before I was aware that they knew. They didn't say anything cause they were waiting for me to say something or show up dressed as female. My Mom mildly punched me. Say Oh You!
A few weeks later she said do what ever you want to do! My brother and sisters said they knew all along! They inquired why didn't you tell us sooner? My sister Jeannie is the only one that disapproves yet she wants to be a male! Does that make any sense? Why would a female want to be a male and disapprove of a male dressing as a female? I don't think she makes any sense. Yet She accuses me of not making any sense. Nothing to worry about. Be yourself true to your spirit regardless what body you're in. Our body's only a vehicle for use to function on earth and decide who and what we are! Once we know we can go to heaven if there is such a place. I think heaven is more of an attitude than a place! The put downers don't have that heaven yet so they put people down because they don't know better! Don't worry about them! Life is all about take it or leave it! If it's you take what ever you need to complete yourself. Don't let nagging doubts bother you. Doubts are are little devils that bother many people. It's not just with crossdressing.. You might be thinking I can I can while a little doubt whispers.. you can't you need confidence you need to know it all or something else to that effect. Well ignore that little devil called doubt. Believe you Can and you Can.. a whole world opens to you with that attitude whatever you chose to do.. Enjoy yourself!

[Tina Dixon]

Don't purge what ever you do, and yes we all have been there, just take a break if thats the problem, but if you seem to pass move on with your dressing and have fun.

[Karren H]

I agree, Never purge!!! Just keep going, you will do just fine!!

Love Karren

[Connieminiskirts]

I have gone purged a few times, And I will tell you now, It is soo veerryy expensive, and I dont mean only money wise, the emotional stress, then missng your clothes and the at hand opportunity.
Then ya go out spend more money, buty new clothes, and so on. I say DONT purge. It never really works anyway. Getting rid of your clothes, etc, does not take away the fact of who you are.
I have been there, its no fun. And there is always a piece of you missing,
and then ya feel empty, get moody, cant explain why,, so on and so on.
Be who you are,

Hope this helps,
Hugs, Connie

[Khriss]

having "purged " several times..with deep regrets over doing so.. I came to realize..putting my "predilictions" on hold (for many reasons) could also include ,mearly storing my "fem-gear" in a safe locked place only I knew of-or had access to- and while there was a fee involved..the cost was minor compared to what I'd planned to divest myself of..or the peace of mind ..knowing my "fave stuff" was safe and waiting !? (IrealizedI'malifelongcrossdresser!?eh?):D best/o/luck ! xx"K"

[megan163]

Thanks very much for all your advice. I guess I'm just a bit neurotic about it. I do have a great time when I dress. I just get a bit scared that I'm pushing it too far and will eventually have a really bad experience. Anyway, I won't get rid of my stuff but will take a little break. The desire to dress never goes away but I suppose I don't have to go out. I may just wait until the fall when it gets dark earlier. I think I feel more comfortable at night. Hugs to all.

[Flo's wife GG]

What ever you do purging is not the answer. To purge is to deny how you feel and who you truely are.
Not only is it expensive but the greif and denial that you go through only gets worse as time goes on.

[Penny]

So you confirmed what you had hoped. Others found you to be pretty too.
Now you would like to stop for fear that pehaps friends and some family will
not find you pretty, but pretty silly. I agree with the other girls; don't purge.
While you have achieved a victory, it is still necessary to feel pretty. And
just for the record from my point of view, I see nothing wrong with a man having the need to feel pretty. Just because we are male, does that mean
that we have to be some drab, ugly creature that is only pretty in the closet.
I think not! I defend my right to be pretty if I want. And of course, I don't
need this all of the time or I would have SRS. Just be who you feel like being.
Dress or don't dress, go out or don't. Make your choices for you and not what people will think.

[Cathy J]

Lay back and enjoy our unique desire and feelings. Being complimented all the better.
NEVER PURGE!! I have and have regretted it over and over as I disposed of some irreplaceable items. Go into temporary remission for while, but don't purge.
Remember, this wonderful condition we enjoy is incurable. Hooray!

Love & hugs

[GypsyKaren]

So you went out, was treated politely, and had a good time. Where do you come up with purging out of all that? I don't get it.

Karen