Confused

[Victoria101]

Hey girls,

Ive been a cd in the closet since i was 14 and since then lifes been hard, one time my father and friends found out and i was almost disowned, i got them on the track of thinking im not becouse i just wasnt ready at the time, but i recently turned 18 and got a place of my own and have been thinking of coming out for a while now, i love to just sit around dressed up, but i just want to get out in the world and be who i realy am inside im tired of having to hide it, how did you handle it?

[miche_miche]

Hi Victoria,

Just wanted you to know you're not the only one. I'm in-the-closet too. Right now, for a number of reasons, I think that I might never come out.

I'm a lot older than you, 'though, and may be just set in my ways. Your path may be different. Mine might have been if a list like this had existed when I was 18. I've just been posting here a few weeks, and I already feel much more comfortable than I did before.

There are a lot of "out" girls on this list who may have more advice than I can give. I'm just writing to welcome you and wish you the best in your search for your true self.

[Annesah]

Victoria,

I, like Miche, am a thousand times older but coming out, I think, is different for everyone. I never have had the courage or felt the need to make a statement to the World. Other than close friends, neighbors and trusted associates I have not actually "told" anyone. What worked for me and still does is the step by step method. Slowly, over a period of time, dress increasingly fem but only to a point that you feel comfortable. Don't go over the top. Don't compromise yourself or anyone else. Everyone will eventually get the idea without your having to make a shocking "statement". Should you get any questions, just tell them "I like to dress this way". That should be the end of it. While a little scary, it's very liberating. :happy: Best Wishes! Annesah

[Delila]

Coming out can be a difficult and confusing thing do you think that your family will disown you? If so it may be safer to keep it from them for the sake of family peace for the time being. I have found that it is easier to come out to a friend that may be more accepting first if you feel that you really need to come out. Good luck in anything that you decide and I hope it goes well for you.

[Kate Simmons]

I won't tell you to "just do it" but that is exactly what I finally did. I was tired of pretending to be someone I was not. The bottom line is how you feel about yourself. I felt I was compromising myself as a person being who I pretended to be for 54 years and had finally had enough. It's not easy for sure but in the final analysis, I'm much happier for it. Ericka

[Penny]

Hi Victoria and welcome. Crossdressing can be confusing and after reading
a lot of threads here, your are not alone. How can the simple act of wearing
clothes create such havic in our lives? Because we dress like women, we
think we are more like women but really don't want to be a woman and yet
we practically believe women to be godesses because of how pretty they are.
We envey them for their open ability to make themselves pretty and desire to emulate them and ultimately find that pretty feeling that we need. Suppose
as a male, you had the need for speed and died doing 120 mph on a dirt road
late at night. Ask yourself, which is more dangerous to your well being. When you stop to think about it, the need to feel pretty is much healthier.
So I wish you good health and do what is right for you!

[danadoll]

Hi Victoria,

I like most of us know the feeling. Don't be confused, set a goal and work at it, and NEVER give up !

We all have different goals and degrees of cding. I'm really a ts I guess, because I not only dress like a woman, I want to be a woman ! the funny thing is that I didn't know until I started dressing. Now I dress 24/7 LOVE every second of it, and will never go back ! Can't wait to have surgery.

You should wear outfits that you are comfortable in. Don't try to over dress and be yourself and you will shine !

My first trip out was to my dr.s I will never forget it. I was a nervous wreck, but it when well, everyone was very nice and supportive with me. Little by little each time that I went out my confidence grew and things started to fall in place for me. Now I can't go outside the house without my hair. There were times that I felt like giving up, but now I thank god that I didn't. I have a new life now and loving every second of it ! You can do the same !

Don't give up ! be yourself and you will sparkle inside and out !

Best of luck to you !
Love :hugs:

[Joy Carter]

A little motherly advice, think about you future here job prospects loosing Friends and family if they find out about your gender gift. Not telling you what to do but if you need to get out find friends in another town where your not known and be yourself there. We are not accepted in polite company yet and may never be such a pity I have met several gurls here who I would be proud to call friend no matter what people thought. Take care little one and accept who you are first then go on to shine.

[Maria-Christina]

Hey girls,

Ive been a cd in the closet since i was 14 and since then lifes been hard, one time my father and friends found out and i was almost disowned, i got them on the track of thinking im not becouse i just wasnt ready at the time, but i recently turned 18 and got a place of my own and have been thinking of coming out for a while now, i love to just sit around dressed up, but i just want to get out in the world and be who i realy am inside im tired of having to hide it, how did you handle it?

Hi Victoria

I was in the closet for more years than I care to remember, probably since about the age when you started. My life began at 40 when Maria was "born". It was a case of taking the next step or forget it. I was fed up buying clothes from charity shops and then feeling guilty and chucking them away. Coming out of the closet can be a gradual thing rather than doing it all at once. I have been Maria for over 2 years but there are still some grey areas where a toe or two are still in the closet. Having your own place obviously makes it a million times easier.

Regards

Maria

[DonnaT]

Hi Victoria, welcome.

Living on your own is the best step, thus there is no need to tell your family.

As for getting out, first and foremost, always make sure you are in a safe environment. Don't put yourself in a situation women find dangerous.

Second, finding a support group could help with your going out. A number of girls have found this helpful.

Remember, there's no rush. You've got plenty of time to work on your look and finding places to go.