Nervous about telling my physician. Advice?

[BrookeMckayla]

Hi Girlz,

I think I’m ready to tell my family physician. I have a Doctors appointment on Monday for an annual physical and I think I shall use the opportunity to tune my Doctor into what only my wife knows; that I’m transsexual. I want to start seeing a therapist, taking hormones, and beginning electrolysis.

I’m pretty nervous about telling him though. He will be only the second person who I have told, (not including all the wonderful people here) and he has been my families physician since I was 6! I am actually worried about damaging my relationship with my doctor because I like him and have known him for so long. Like I’m afraid he won’t want to see me anymore. I mean let’s face . . .it’s a relatively small town—I imagine I will be the only one of his patients who is like this. Maybe not, but that’s how I feel.

Does anybody have any advice on how to initiate the subject with my family physician?

I want him to refer me to a good therapist who understands gender issues. Should I ask my physician about hormones? Or should I not even bother until after I find a good therapist?

I would really appreciate any advice from any of you, especially if you’ve already started this process. I really want to get started, but this is going to be hard telling my doctor—he’s almost like family. It’s going to take some courage, and I’m so afraid that I’m going to chicken out and walk out of that office without telling him.

I'm interested to know what you think.

[btmgrl6]

If you are that nervous about telling him,wait until you find the therapist.But if you truely want his advice or help on finding a good therapist then maybe you need to let him know. I don't think that Doctors are too shocked by things like this. he'll probably just go ahead and refer you,if he knows one.
Coming out is never easy, but the more you come out, the easier it gets. The more advances you make towards your goal... the happier you'll be. Like seeing the light at he end of the tunnel. Good luck

Steph

[GypsyKaren]

Just take a deep breath and tell him. Doctors are proffesionals who have seen and heard it all, so I doubt if he'll be to shocked. If you want to go further down the road, you'll have to be coming out to just about everyone you know, so you might as well bite the bulet now and start off right.

Karen

[Joy Carter]

Just be direct no details just ask for a referance for a therapist and be done.
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[Clare]

I would advocate telling your Doctor and asking to be referred to a gender therapist (as opposed to a 'normal' therapist).

If you find that your relationship with the Doctor is too close, perhaps you could make your own enquiries seeking a gender therapist and start down that path first. Eventually, when you're ready for Hormones and so forth, your therapist could then advise and setup an appointment with your Doctor on your behalf.

[Caitlyn]

I can say what I did. It worked for me. If you go to your Drs with the intention of telling him, there is a good chance that at the last moment you will find a reason not to. Before you go into the Drs room, count the questions that you want to ask. In my case i had 4 points to make.
1. PROBLEM WITH TOE.
2. REMOVAL OF MOLE.
3. CANT REMEMBER WHAT THIS ONE WAS.
4. I BELIEVE I AM TRANSSEXUAL.
So as I sat down to speak with my Dr, I just said I have 4 things I need to speak to you about. (Unless you are a really quick thinker, when you get to 4 its going to come out).
Yeah....biting the bullet is a great term, but I tell you, bite the bullet and not your tongue, you will feel soooooo much better afterwards. A problem shared is a problem halved.
The attitude of my Dr was wonderful. Very nonjudgemental.
If there are problems with your Dr......find another one.
I have since had therapy sessions, seen a psychologist, seen a psychiatrist and been put on the (long) waiting list for Leeds gid clinic.
Good luck.

[MarieTS]

Brooke: The answers you've received make sense. Here is another option for you to consider. I agree you may want to find a gender therapist on your own and just go from there. Once the gender therapist decides hormones are in your best interest they may very well refer you to an endocronlogist. If you really feel uncomfortable revealing all this with you family Dr., and if you plan to move away after you start transitioning because you live in such a small town and feel awkward -- perhaps threatened -- you may wish to find a new Dr. now rather than later.
There are no easy choices here. Just know that eventually you must confront this problem with a Dr. The only choice you have to make is do you want to to be with the family Doc., or a new one? Perhaps you can contact a local/regional TS support group for some recommendations.
Good luck. We all share your burden.

[ambernoel]

I would say there would realy be not much to worry about. You have to remeber that he works for you. If he is a good doctor he will do anything with in hs power to help you with what ever problem you have.It is also a great place to start for finding the right therapist. Be patient though.. working though things can take time and many different doctors and specialist's. Honesty is one best reward in life to your self and others.

[Natasha Anne]

In my case things were a little different. I suppose some of you expected that from me :)

I saw my doctor after I started RLT. He had no idea I was a transsexual.

I made an appointment to see him about something unrelated. As it was during my work day, I was not even the slightest bit androgynous.

The receptionist had recorded my appointment as Mr ...., and I noted as I went to her desk, she changed it to Mrs .... which I thought was quite cool.

The doctor came out, and when the receptionist told him Mrs .... was next, he said, that's not Mrs ...., obviously a reference to my wife.

So I just told him, changed my details, and then went through to his consulting room, where we discussed it a little before getting on to the actual reason I was there. Asthma in case you're wondering.

He was wonderful, and it also turned out he knows my psychiatrist and had some degree of awareness about the whole process and treatments I was on.

Talk about an incredible experience. He made me feel so welcome and put me at ease, and then gave me some useful advice and checked me out from top to toe to ensure everything was going well.

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[FionaAlexis]

I've done this three times with different GPs and, on each occasion, it was to get a referral to a psychiatrist. I have always selected a GP I hadn't seen before and made a quick, straight to the point request. I never saw the point in having a deep and meaningful with a GP - they aren't qualified to deal with you and it merely ends with the same result - a referral to a psych.

Fiona xx