basque
05-11-2006, 03:44 PM
As some of you know, I joined the 'club ' at the weekend; some of you were kind enough to offer suggestions re my 'name'. I love it! Not really surprising that I didn't choose a woman's name; it'll be some time before that happens.
Anyway, this thread relates to my self image & experience(s). I started wearing my mum's lingerie (& some clothes) when I was about 7, I think, but soon found that the former was the most satisfying AND arroused me. I think having a mother that said 'You're too good looking to be a boy' and, added to that, the fact that she lost a daughter at birth was always going to lead to a bit (!) of confusion in my mind re what I was: sex, sexuality etc. I had girlfriends through my teens & fell in love with a fellow student (woman!) at art school. None of you will be surprised to hear that the whole time I was being turned on by guys, but didn't have sex with a guy until I was 21; me in floods of tears after I came. The guy was articulate, inteligent & worldly. He said the tears were a release of tension; I think he was right. Many further encounters & some meaningful relationships have characterized my sexlife over the last 45 years, bringing us to the present; I have a partner/boyfriend/friend; it's difficult to describe what we really are. We do not have sex now but are very mutually supportive. Get back to the point, bitch! So many of you girls seem to be such well adjusted, normal, worldy (re dress, & what you call it (what's a camisole?) & makeup) AND are heterosexual and sometimes married. I've always felt a bit embarassed/dirty/kinky about my love of lingerie. I met a younger guy 20 or so yeras ago & he seemed to be in some confusion (at the time; he is fully fledged gay now) re his sexuality. He would say, while we were having full-on sex, 'I'm not gay!'. I think that's why I 'used' the opportunity to exhume (I hadn't dressed in any lingerie for 15 years before this occasion) my desires; I say, disingenuously, to give him a helping hand! He liked it. Last year I met another guy & broached the subject in an email to him i.e. would he like me to wear lingerie. 'Go ahead; you'd look good' he said. I went into it full-tilt. M&S, the internet (for my basque) & other stores; nylon stocks need constant replenishing. Like so many of the feishisdtic/fantasist Xd's I love tight, silky, shiny, nylon, sudspenders/garters; basically anything that makes me look sexy/tarty. It's not a surprise that I like to put a station on the radio that plays 'stoopid' music; mostly sung by black (a pity; but that's another subject) artists who sing about desire & loss to a funky beat; love it. I can shimmy around in front of my large dining room mirror (inherited from my mother; like a lot of other thigs!!!) & feel f******g great. Oh, the guy (the latest) who let me wear lingerie has 'disappearded, but maybe he's in China. That put's another stereotype on its head; he's a masculine Oriental & I'm the XDing westerner!
So, in short, I've worn lingerie (outside my 'head') over three perioods; in adolecence, presently & the other occasion in my late twenties. Like another (a new member, I think) I feel like purging/chopping it all up & getting back to good old conventional sex with a guy (in the closet!) What sex? I ask myself; you're getting precious little as it stands. Now this really brings me me to kernel of my thread. Am I wrong, but are most of us 40+ (I'm a very fit & trim 58) & as the re/embracing of or XDing desires is a wholly acceptable channel for expressing our feminine side and/or re-experiencing the 'awakening of sexuality'/role inversion (is that what we were really doing in childhood/adolescence? i.e. stepping outside of ourselves, for whatever reason (and loving it!)) & into someone else's shoes (pun intended), at a time when we are less (perhaps) of a social butterfly & more of a home lover. Finally, I don't live with my SO, so I do have lot of freedom re wearing my gear. I have promised (but may not) get dressed at 10pm; as a present to myself. I still think that it's a 'special' treat & would be diminished, for ME, if I did it every day and/or all the time.
Thanks for reading
Anyway, this thread relates to my self image & experience(s). I started wearing my mum's lingerie (& some clothes) when I was about 7, I think, but soon found that the former was the most satisfying AND arroused me. I think having a mother that said 'You're too good looking to be a boy' and, added to that, the fact that she lost a daughter at birth was always going to lead to a bit (!) of confusion in my mind re what I was: sex, sexuality etc. I had girlfriends through my teens & fell in love with a fellow student (woman!) at art school. None of you will be surprised to hear that the whole time I was being turned on by guys, but didn't have sex with a guy until I was 21; me in floods of tears after I came. The guy was articulate, inteligent & worldly. He said the tears were a release of tension; I think he was right. Many further encounters & some meaningful relationships have characterized my sexlife over the last 45 years, bringing us to the present; I have a partner/boyfriend/friend; it's difficult to describe what we really are. We do not have sex now but are very mutually supportive. Get back to the point, bitch! So many of you girls seem to be such well adjusted, normal, worldy (re dress, & what you call it (what's a camisole?) & makeup) AND are heterosexual and sometimes married. I've always felt a bit embarassed/dirty/kinky about my love of lingerie. I met a younger guy 20 or so yeras ago & he seemed to be in some confusion (at the time; he is fully fledged gay now) re his sexuality. He would say, while we were having full-on sex, 'I'm not gay!'. I think that's why I 'used' the opportunity to exhume (I hadn't dressed in any lingerie for 15 years before this occasion) my desires; I say, disingenuously, to give him a helping hand! He liked it. Last year I met another guy & broached the subject in an email to him i.e. would he like me to wear lingerie. 'Go ahead; you'd look good' he said. I went into it full-tilt. M&S, the internet (for my basque) & other stores; nylon stocks need constant replenishing. Like so many of the feishisdtic/fantasist Xd's I love tight, silky, shiny, nylon, sudspenders/garters; basically anything that makes me look sexy/tarty. It's not a surprise that I like to put a station on the radio that plays 'stoopid' music; mostly sung by black (a pity; but that's another subject) artists who sing about desire & loss to a funky beat; love it. I can shimmy around in front of my large dining room mirror (inherited from my mother; like a lot of other thigs!!!) & feel f******g great. Oh, the guy (the latest) who let me wear lingerie has 'disappearded, but maybe he's in China. That put's another stereotype on its head; he's a masculine Oriental & I'm the XDing westerner!
So, in short, I've worn lingerie (outside my 'head') over three perioods; in adolecence, presently & the other occasion in my late twenties. Like another (a new member, I think) I feel like purging/chopping it all up & getting back to good old conventional sex with a guy (in the closet!) What sex? I ask myself; you're getting precious little as it stands. Now this really brings me me to kernel of my thread. Am I wrong, but are most of us 40+ (I'm a very fit & trim 58) & as the re/embracing of or XDing desires is a wholly acceptable channel for expressing our feminine side and/or re-experiencing the 'awakening of sexuality'/role inversion (is that what we were really doing in childhood/adolescence? i.e. stepping outside of ourselves, for whatever reason (and loving it!)) & into someone else's shoes (pun intended), at a time when we are less (perhaps) of a social butterfly & more of a home lover. Finally, I don't live with my SO, so I do have lot of freedom re wearing my gear. I have promised (but may not) get dressed at 10pm; as a present to myself. I still think that it's a 'special' treat & would be diminished, for ME, if I did it every day and/or all the time.
Thanks for reading