So what happens next?

[HawksHoney]

I've known my SO for a few years thru a business relationship, he was my secret crush forever, and after what seemed like forever I attacked him in January with a great big kiss and he's been mine ever since. :D

I think he could have handled this differently, but it's done and he did what he felt he needed to. We were having "grown-up time" on Tuesday while my kids were in school, and his pants happened to fall off. Not really, but that's my story and I'm sticking to it.

I like to think of myself as a pretty cool chick, and I think I did ok. Under his man jeans he had girl unders. :eek: I tried to not have that face, but every cell in my being was :eek: and I was completely thrown.

I looked at him, and it was really weird. Our relationship is kind of um, untraditional maybe? He is several years older than I am, in business he is in a position of power over me, and one of the things I've always been drawn to about him is how self-assured, confident, and sometimes even arrogant he is. Twisted I know, but it works for us.

He was standing there, and was naked. Emotionally naked, with a silky and lacy thing on.

Two things happened at once. My body went :eek: and my heart and head went WOW he really must trust me and care for me to show me that.

I think I muttered something about it being soft and pretty and then we continued with "grown-up time" without further ado. It was lovely - thanks for asking :o . After that he ran off so fast if he had tires there would have been burnt rubber. I sat on the bed with an odd look on my face for about an hour trying to process.

I sent him a text saying "It's really cool that you trust me so much." and then added something dirty.

With work and kids and life in general we haven't had any time to talk privately, but I've let him know that I'm ok, it's ok... and I asked him if it was ok for me to buy him something special, and would he wear it. He said yes, and so I found something and there it waits for the next free moment.

I found this place and have been doing some reading. My questions and comments will still all sound pretty stupid though I'm afraid.

Can I ask him if he has a girl name for himself? What do I say now? Do I just ask outright if he dresses all the way or will he be offended if he is just a panties kind of man?

He has the most beautiful eyes... is it wrong for me to gush about them or say I'll buy something to match his eyes - or would he think I was treating him like a girl - or does he want me to treat him like a girl - or should I only do that if he has panties on and otherwise treat him like a stud....

Or maybe - Just maybe - my head will start rotating on my neck and I will scream because this is so just not anything I ever expected to happen to me in a million years - or is it not about me only about him....

Is there a book that tells me how to do this, and if so, will they federal express it to me because I really think I need it fast.

HH

[ShortSkirt]

Can I ask him if he has a girl name for himself? What do I say now? Do I just ask outright if he dresses all the way or will he be offended if he is just a panties kind of man?

I can only speak for myself, and being the open person I am, I'd want you to ask me about everything that you wanted, or needed, an answer to.

He doesn't strike me as the shy type, and sure seem's pretty open and confident, so I don't think you'll have a problem in your communication. My advice is, be as open and as confident as he is.

[GypsyKaren]

First of all, nothing you say or ask here will sound stupid, so fire away. Communication is the key to success, so it's important that you guys always keep talking, if you have something on your mind, say it.

Karen

[Eugenie]

This man is a very happy man to have found you.

With regard to your question on how to approach him about his Crossdressing, it is a delicate one. I try to put myself into his shoes but it won't be a very valid example as people have all their individualities. In my case any feminine apparel, underwear, clothes would please me. I like very much being treated like a woman. But He may react quite differently.

Sharing the feminine side of his personality with you is definitely a sign that he trusts you a lot. However he may be either still shy about it or on the contrary very at ease with it.

Not knowing his advancement in the Crossdressing attitude, you might stick with buying for him something similar to what he was wearing when you discovered it. If you want to be very nice to him, take the same underwear style but in much higher quality. He will appreciate.

With that you may have some chances to open the conversation on the subject of crossdressing, but I would be careful not to be moving too fast along that line as, as I said above, it all depends whether he is confortable with his crossdressing or not and sharing more of his feminine personality with you.

All the best for you.

Eugénie

[TGMarla]

"So, tell me all about this, and let's have some fun with it...." would be a good start. I think Ms. ShortSkirt is correct when she advises you to approach it with the same self-assuredness and confidence he no doubt expects from you.

[DonnaT]

I agree with Marla, but maybe phrase it as:
"Would you like to tell me all about crossdressing? There's so much I don't know."

Also see:
http://www.geocities.com/senorita_cd/menu.htm


Books

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0962676241/sr=8-5/qid=1147436590/ref=sr_1_5/002-4726112-7387261?%5Fencoding=UTF8

or

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/096267625X/sr=8-1/qid=1147436590/ref=pd_bbs_1/002-4726112-7387261?%5Fencoding=UTF8

[Amanduhrob]

If he were I, he would appreciate if you inquired about his dressing slowly, and one step at a time. If asked right out if he cross dresses, or information about cross dressing, he might panic, withdrawal, and run away from a potentially awesome relationship.

Go slow, try not to pressure him into giving you answers he may not know the answer to himself, and if you want to buy him a gift, I'd stick to panties, until you know if he's really a CD, and not just a guy with a pantie fetish.

[~Kitty GG~]

You go girl!

I think you're doing great.

You didn't go all weird during the "adult time".

You didn't just let it go and pretend it didn't happen. This is important. You're showing acceptance of HIM. And you're keeping things open and not letting them slip back into the closet.

You know yourself that sometimes you can feel shy about something and it would be a big help if the other person could take the lead a bit.

I think you'll figure out how slow or fast to go. As long as you're showing your support and that the topic is one that you want to learn more about - he will hopefully be able to set a good pace that's comfortable for him.

If you want to surprize him its a good bet to stick with panties or something similar for a first item. But don't be afraid to ask what else he would like to try. i'd want to be sure that he didn't think "so panties are ok.. but I'm sure she'd draw the line at ________"

Communication is key. Share your thoughts with him and encourage him to share his with you. Learn and grow together.

And have fun!!!

Love & Hugs
~Kitty~

[Nikki Dee]

Hi. Love....Take it slowly...be patient...but above all...COMMUNICATE.!!...he will welcome it and you will find some answers....good luck to both of you..I think you will do just great.!
Love Nikki.x

[Talon DeRojo]

I can only speak for myself, but I'd be thrilled by your thoughts and feelings. I would welcome the opportunity to share with you my CD history and to answer any questions that you had. I think that you're off to a good start - just take it slowly.
Talon:happy:

[Penny]

You muttered the magic words "soft and pretty". As a woman, I'm sure you
understand what it is to feel pretty. If you can accept that it ok for a man to
have those feelings and can convey that to him, it is highly possible that this could be the greatest relationship you have ever had!

[tammie]

Hi Everyone: One thing to keep mind of is he may only wear panties. Not every man that wears panties also has dresses heels wigs and breast forms. I wear panties 24/7. I showed them to my SO on about our 3rd date, when we were about to have sex. Keep in mind I have what I refer to as formal panties IE without lace and in black or blue (for boys). Also very femme panties also with lace and in pink and nude or ivory. I don't know why one panty is more acceptible than another, they R all panties, but that is how it is percieved.

She like U was taken aback. Partly because her sister had been in a marriage for 14yrs with a man that shaved everywhere, and was never really after her for sex. He played golf every Satarday. Unfortunately he never needed his clubs cleaned. He was/is a closet homosexual and was going to gay clubs for all those yrs and cheating on his wife with strangers.

Therefore I was "suspect" with my SO. I have earned my BI merit badge so to speak, but in fact am not attracted to men. More importantly I will not cheat on her either with men or women as I much prefer to spend time in lingerie by myself.

I cannnot pass, do not try and only dress in lingerie. For me it is like enjoying a certain kind of food or beer. Something U really enjoy but must be by necessity limited to a certain level of use. I only get to spend time with my SO every other weekend as she is a single mom and works full time, so I entertain myself on the weekends I am alone and am ready to lavish attention on her when we get time together.

My advise is get him a pair of panties U like and ask him to wear them for U. The only thing hotter than wearing panties is having a woman request it for her.

[HawksHoney]

How totally cool - I take the rats to school, stop at the store, and come back to all these posts! Thank you. I'm so glad I found this place - and I have a feeling that's probably not the only time I'll type that.

I'm glad to hear that I did ok. In fact - I'm thrilled because I think I love this guy, and would hate to have damaged him. I can only imagine how difficult that must have been for him, and how awful it could have turned out if I freaked.

So, open and accepting... confident but not pushy... communicate... let him take the lead but prod a bit if he seems shy about the issue and needs a little help getting the conversation going. Toss in a bit of patience and kindness, make sure he knows what I think as well as listening to him, and last but not least don't go out and buy him a pair of heels tomorrow in case he just has a fetish for panties.

OK, bear with me on this one - but what would be the panty fetish thing? He wouldn't wear anything else usually associated with a girl but undies? And how does that fit in somewhere - is that purely a sexual thing where the xdressing seems to me (what I've read so far) like a biological urge sort of thing? And if that is something that crosses a decency line here I'll take my 30 lashes with a wet noodle and you can answer me via email or something.

Penny, I hope you are right. So much just works so easily with this guy - and I really can't imagine much that could change how I feel about him. Unless of course he decided to start wearing my underwear - his caboose is bigger than mine, and I don't want them returned all saggy.

Thanks RedNails - I will hit you up with some questions as soon as I digest all of this and lunch too. Too bad, sometimes emotional unrest makes me loose weight, this is disconcerting but not earth shattering.

Thanks again to all for responding, I promise to try not to suck up too much of your life with my inquiries.

HH

Edited to add.... thx for the reply tammie. I still don't get the panties only thing though. If you could pass - would you? Is that what the panties only thing is - someone who would completely "dress" - is that the right term? if only they thought they were prettier or along those lines??

[Krystenw]

I have posted most likely too many times that honesty is the only policy.
I would let him know what a great time you had, how great he makes you feel and let things go from there.
Krysten

[Amanduhrob]

A panty fetish is just that, someone who loves the feel, and texture of panties. They enjoy wearing panties, but no other lingerie, or womens apparel.

[JoannaDees]

Uh huh.