purchasing lingerie

[older not wiser]

Hi, I had an experience in a dept.store in my area where I purchased some lingerie. I put my bras and panties and some pantyhose on the counter inorder to pay for them when the cashier asked me jokingly if they were for me. I looked her straight in the eye and said yes. She got really flustered and didn't know how to handle my response. She then rang up my purchases and bagged them. I guess I got alittle carried away but at this pont I really didn't care if she knew or not. Has this happened to anyone else?

BonnieAnne

[Phyliss]

Not in a dept store, or by myself but I have been asked why there were two different sizes of the same type of panties when shopping in a ladies clothing store with wife. My answer was something like "Why should women have all the pleasure of wearing pretty things?" Not being able to answer, the checkout lady just kept on ringing things up.

[GypsyKaren]

It's happened to me quite a few times over the years, and I tell them the same thing. I've never had any probs from it, in fact I've been complimented on my taste in clothes and such.

Karen

[Nigella]

In my case it would be obvious they could be for me, I love to go shopping for fem clothing, and go shopping in fem clothing, put two and two together and hey presto their unasked question is answered. :)

[Lisa Marie]

It has happened to me before I bought some pantyhose and some ladies hankerchifs at Dillards and the check out lady asked if these were for me. I chickend out and said no their for my mom. I would have like to see the reaction on her face though if I said they were for me.

[Karren H]

Hi, I had an experience in a dept.store in my area where I purchased some lingerie. I put my bras and panties and some pantyhose on the counter inorder to pay for them when the cashier asked me jokingly if they were for me. I looked her straight in the eye and said yes. She got really flustered and didn't know how to handle my response. She then rang up my purchases and bagged them. I guess I got alittle carried away but at this pont I really didn't care if she knew or not. Has this happened to anyone else?

BonnieAnne

Yeah, a few times. Not a real good reason for a guy to be buying lingerie except at Victoria Secrets or just before Valentines Day, in their minds. LOL So by default any clerk must know or suspect your buying them for yourself. And I passed the carring point years ago.....But then again, playing with sales clerks minds can make shopping more enjoyable! hehehe

Love Karren

[KarlaRissa]

Yeah, a few times. Not a real good reason for a guy to be buying lingerie except at Victoria Secrets or just before Valentines Day, in their minds. LOL So by default any clerk must know or suspect your buying them for yourself. And I passed the carring point years ago.....But then again, playing with sales clerks minds can make shopping more enjoyable! hehehe

Love Karren

Its becoming like that with me at the moment. I know that I am a newbie to this (Being only a year since I began) but I am starting to pass the caring banner. In a social (Only social, not work or dancing) I dont really care if people know. If people ask, I give a straight answer back, no smoke screen or anything.

Hugs and Kisses,
Karla

[JiveTurkeyOnRye]

I've never been flat out asked by a clerk at Victoria's Secret if the items are for me, but I've noticed there are two types of salesgirls there, the first type are the ones who just focus on the products. For example, I went in once looking for stockings, and she took me to the drawers where they were kept and told me about the different styles and then told me to ask her if I needed any more help. It was all about the products and nothing about who they were for. I don't know if this tactic is so they don't come off as assuming anything or if they just want to make me feel comfortable.

The other type are the ones who do assume I'm shopping for someone else. Like if I pick up a pair of panties she asks me if "she'd like a matching bra." or such dialogue.

When I was around 18 and started buying myself underwear there, I used to do that too, say "oh she likes these" and "She said wanted this..." but as I've grown older and more comfortable with myself, I have ceased this activity. But I also have yet to swing in the other direction and started admitting they were for me. My policy now is to just go in, ask for what I'm looking for, and stay entirely focused on the product, and let the girl assume whatever she wants. I do wonder if someday I'll feel fine just saying the stuff is for me.

I did do it once when I was in LA and Frederick's of Hollywood was moving so they had a massive clearance sale at the old location. I was checking out and the girl asked me if I was sure I only wanted to buy the one item I had and I said "I was here yesterday and bought three other things. That should hold me over."

[JoAnnDallas]

I have had both resposne. The SA that doesn't care who I'm buying for and the SA that asked "What size my wife/gf is". I usually get the response from the second SA when I tell her that it is for me, "OH, sorry".

Then there are the other customer's response. Most have been positive, even when I tell them it is for me or I'm shopping for myself. I have had GG customers help me select items. I even had a customer that at first looked at me kinda werid, then help me select what I was buying, then we ended up browsing the store together, talking like we were old girl friends out shopping.

[Billijo49504]

The last one that asked me, if it was for me. And i answered, yes it was for me. She asked if I was interested in some of the skirts and tops they had on sale, and was I interested in opening a charge. I said sure ot all of the above. I now have a platinium card....BJ
ps. Now when I go in the store, they ask if I'm shopping for me or the wife or both of us. Then they smile. And the cash register goes $$$$$Ka-ching$$$$$

[Lorna]

My lingerie shopping experience is limited - and always done in male clothing. Usually I have used the technique of holding a note, ostensibly from my wife, to try to suggest that I am not buying for myself. Here, briefly are some examples of reactions.

London suburbs: fabrics, curtains, etc. on ground floor, lingerie upstairs. On first visit, with a note describing a Berlei high-waist girdle, the (middle aged female) assistant was most helpful. Did not have the specified model but could offer a similar one at a reduced price. I said I would have to contact my wife to check. The assistant offered me the shop phone! I said my wife would not be there at that time but I would ring her later and return if she wanted the girdle. 90 mins later I returned and bought it.

Same shop, two years later. I had sent an email (from "my wife") saying she needed a firm, high waist pantie girdle (with details of size, etc). I gave a date and approximate time for collection. At the top of the stairs there were two female assistants and a male manager. I approached, mentioning my name and the email. One of the female assistants said "We don't have anything like that. Sorry", and did not move from the spot. I had the impression they realised what I was trying to do and the presence of the manager was deliberate. I thanked them politely and retreated down the stairs.

Seaside town - small shop. Lingerie & corsetry first floor. I had a "story" prepared but at the top of the stairs the sales counter was facing me and an assistant stopped me to ask what I wanted. Before I had said more than a few words she said "I don't think we can help you here" and, again, I decided to leave.

Small market town. A lingerie shop. I thought there were no other customers but on entering I found the owner behind the counter and two quite elderly women sitting on chairs chatting to her. I managed to smile and explain that I was "a bit out of my depth" before showing the owned the note of what "my wife" needed. When the two women heard that the girdle my wife wanted was size 30 inch waist, one of them said that if she had a waist that small she wouldn't bother with a girdle. The owner offered two girdles, one a Twilfit hook-side and the other was a pull-on style. I pretended I had no idea which would be right and was about to make an excuse and leave when the owner rescued me: she suggested I could buy both and she would be able to give me a refund if either or both were not suitable. I kept the Twilfit but took the other one back to get my refund. The owner said she and her two friends had been amazed that any husband would be willing to buy a girdle for his wife. Their husbands wouldn't, she said!

Those represent the extremes of my experiences but, in my situation, remaining polite but making a swift exit if things are not going well is the best option.

[julie w]

try shopping in the lingerie dept in femme what a hi that is , ,most normal men would not buy bras or panties, women dont trust men to pick out clothes for them just look at how long it takes them to find something ! so
if they did they would have a note with size and brand and give it to
the sale lady ,try that! so dont kid yourself they know its for you . but that
said go to a dept store when its quite somewhere you are no likely to meet
people you know and dont care what they think they will forget what you
look like after you leave the store and you will have you prize have fun
julie

[Helen MC]

We rightly complain when shop assistants give us a hard time so I for one would not put them to the same test and embarass them.

I have not had such a negative response from shops as "40s". Back in the 1970s and into the 1980s I used to use the "note" subterfuge and whatever the assistant may have thought she kept it herself and efficiently served me the schoolgirls' knickers or women's panties I wanted with no embarrassment to me or herself. I knew the size and colour I wanted and as regards the school knickers the local schools which had that colour as part of their uniform in case I was ever asked, "What school does you sister attend?" which I never was. Only once when I had gone back to particular large department store in a County Town in the Home Counties (near London for US readers) after a couple of years I was served again by the same woman. I had purchased some pairs of Bottle Green Cotton Knickers from her on the previous occasion and this time I wanted Royal Blue ones. She did look at me and say "Didn't I serve you once before?" I shook my head and said, "I wouldn't think so" and she left it at that and served me the 3 pairs of knickers I wanted.

Since then, apart from buying via the Internet which is my most common method of purchasing women's clothing, I find that most places are now self-service and a totally bored and disinterested shop assistant will simply ring the articles through the till and send me on my way with no comment.

[Marla]

Good for you hon! Its really none of their concern who its for!

[carol ann]

I had the same experience with a pair of gel bra enhancers. My reply was another question "why - do you think I need them?"

The assistant laughed and replied "Well, they might keep you warm in winter" and I laughed back and said "I must bear that in mind - do you think I should buy a bra as well - what style would suit me best"

i think that because I did not allow the question to phase me, the whole episode was carried off in good humour with no embarrassment on either side

[luky charm]

i don't think i was ever asked if the clothes i wanted were for me, most shops i go to don't really have alot of pushy sales assisants, of course i mostly shop department stores, but there was one time i went to a store called leather and lace, figure there'd be something i'd like in there. it was mostly sweaters, but i was the only customer, and the sales lady was too intense, i just circled the store once and left, saying nothing. another time i actually bought a birthday card and a gift bag along with a teddy i wanted. i don't bother with a rouse now, but if you're still shy, a birthday card is a great, inexpensive answer! happy hunting!

charmed:o

[connie rotten]

I often ask "if I was your doll would you dress me in these.:cheeky: "

[trannie T]

I was buying some panties and the clerk joked "I don't think these are your color." I looked her in the eye and replied "I think I'll look good in them." She was taken aback for a minute, so I had to add, "You get other crossdressers in here don't you." As I paid for my items she gave me a big smile.

[Joy Carter]

I E-mailed a tall woman's shop in central Ohio and just asked if they served the transgendered comunity. I got back an answer in less than twenty minutes and she sead she would be delighted to show me their line. I had asked what would be a good time to come in and she told me if "I "was uncomfortable about it I could come in at opening when they were not busy or they would stay late to serve me. I E-mailed back and told them I would come in some time this summer and they responded that they were looking forward to my visit. A couple a hours latter mind you this was a Sunday, they E-mailed back and told me to make sure I had the appropriate undergarments so things would fit properly. This is going to be a pleasure if I can just not be nervious doing this, nobody has ever seen me dressed. :D

[JeanneF]

I guess I'm kind of lucky in this town...there's a local lingerie store that specifically mentions "Gender Friendly" on their business cards. It's pretty nice to be able to stop in, browse for clothing, and not feel remotely weird about it. Plus, the owner is really helpful when it comes to finding shapewear, forms and such.

One of the funny shopping experiences I've had in recent weeks was shopping at my local Sephora. I was picking up a new eyeliner pencil and some shadow, and the girl that was checking me out asked me kind of tentatively "is this for you?" I said yes, and she got relieved and then proceeded to give me a sample for this new foundation primer that they started carrying, and explained me the use of it. After she was finished, I teased her a little bit about her nervousness, and she joked about how she's supposed to offer the sample and explanation to everyone, but she's concerned how guys will react if she assumes it's for them.

Incidentally, the foundation primer from Smashbox works really well. :happy:

[michelle19845]

everytime i've made purchases,i have had no questions asked at counter,nor comments.when looking at bras at a meijer store i was asked if i needed any help then asked again in 2 minutes.i just can't tell if they think i'm gonna steal something or if they are being nice and courteous.

[Kate Simmons]

I usually get either a smile or a scowl depending on who the clerk is. Doesn't really bother me any.Sometimes they get visibly nervous especially if I'm buying lingerie but don't usually say anything. As Richard I look like I'm pissed off to be there to begin with. The kicker was I used to go into this local wig shop a couple times a year. I always told the owner they were for my daughter (Yeah, Right!). She played along as I always played the dumb awkward father and usually took advantage of it to tell me I needed to buy a stand as well. She even showed me her private "changing room". One of the good ones who appreciated her customers and could keep a secret as well. Ericka

[Denise01]

Now that I will only shop for my Femme wardrobe, totally femme, I have had no problems, or questions asked. I find it such a treat to be able to browse the lingerie departments looking for bra's panties, nighties etc, and have no one even bat an eye at me.
Before I had the confidence to go out femme, i used to buy my panties, bras etc in wa-mart. I had now questions asked there but I did feel a bit out of place, and accordingly did not take too long in the department especially looking for bras.
In one instance, I was in a large department store in drab, and saw a night gown i liked, and bought. At the cash register the sales assistant made the comment, this will be a nice gift, and as I was still shy about purchasing femme clothing, i made no comment.
I think most clerks and cashiers in larger stores are used to guys buying femme clothing, and now think nothing of it

Denise

[Bernice]

I've never had anyone be so bold as to come right out and ask. I'm glad, because I doubt I could retain my composure.

I take that lie back. Once in about 1980 while shopping a Salvation Army in Lincoln NE before halloween, I had a worker ask me. But that was an isolated incident with an easy out.

I have had some stern looks and had some older women at church-related thrift stores suddenly become very mono-syllabic and curt. Perhaps my six foot figure was imposing enough to silence them.

I was very comfortable on one shopping trip to a big discounter because for once I really WAS buying for my mother, and I could say so if asked.

The never-ending threat of exposure and pubic incident has been a factor in my learning to sew as much as I do, but garage sales have been such a great source that I could never afford to sew what I could buy used.

Hugs,

Bernice

[ColleenCD]

My wife decided to by me a very pretty long floral night gown for my birthday. We went to a local department store and chose our selection. Since she is only mildly accepting, this was a difficult purchase for her. And of course, the sales lady then said, "How pretty!, who is this for?" I stood silent and waited for my wife to answer not wanting to contradict anything she would say. "My sister-in-law" she answered. At least my wife was quick on her feet.

Colleen

[Bridget]

Strangely enough, for all my purchases, i've only been asked once who it was for. And unfourtunately I lied and claimed it was for a (non-existent) girlfriend. However, I was impressed with my ability to weave a long and very convincing lie which completely took the clerk in. Years of practice lying to my parents pay off, i suppose. (not about CDing...mostly about breaking little rules...like not snacking before dinner, doing homework etc. etc.)

In my limited experience, shopping drab seems less nerve wracking than shopping dressed at the counter, because the clerk, as part of being friendly, talks, but less nerve wracking dressed, in the shelves and stacks. As far as i've notcied though, both experiences are pretty much identical though from others' responses.

[allisonrn06]

The last time I remember buying hose or other intimate apparel,the clerk just assumed they were for my wife.I did buy a pair of shoes a while back where I felt certain that the saleslady wanted to ask me if I was going to try them on though.It didn't make me nervous,oddly enough I found it to be a neat experience.

[Sharon]

To be fair to the sales clerk, she was probably just trying to be cute and making innocent small talk. In most cases, there is no need to be crude ar rude when replying when a question like this is posed to you.

Just smile and say yes, no, or whatever you're comfortable with, but don't always assume the worse in other people.

[tammie]

Hi Everyone: I have had some great experiences over the 40 yrs I have been CDing and for most of it I have been buying my own things. My mother got me off to a good start by getting me my own first bra pantiegirdle and slip. I had already tried on her garterbelt and stockings so I knew I enjoyed, no loved, the feeling of gartered stockings and that was my first purchase at age 15yo.

My first experience was a good one, I went to a dept store, I don't remember what one in Tenn and as per Ann Landers instructions I got in 25 minutes to closing, told the sales associate what I wanted the size and color and paid for it and left. The whole experience was over in 5 minutes and I was on the bus home in 10 more.

I have had as recently as last yr a great experience in a RobinsonMay store. A pretty young woman helped me me get what I needed. She assumed it was for me and I didn't see the point of dening or lying about it to her. She was not judgemental and I was conducting my self in a calm selfassured manner so there was little or no stress. I was able to enjoy the scenery and the beauty of women doing what they so so well, being beautiful.

The absolute worst experience was at a place I had considered my Alma Mater since my first job was there. That is my first job other than cutting grass and a throwing newspapers. I had gone to JC Pennys at dinnner time. On a weekday at dinnertime usually the stores R almost empty. This store had 2 women customers in the lingerie dept. looking thru the racks. I went to the sales associate who was not busy and asked her to find me 2 LLPGs on sale.... (color and size).

As I had this short conversation with her a women customer went to the counter to pay for something. The sales associate said "I will get that as soon as I ring out this customer". I waited a respectful 20 or 30 feet away trying my best to look very disinterested in all the beautiful bras, panties, slips and girdles.

After the sales ass. had checked out the customer she went and got my (2) LLPGs and when she returned to the counter although she was only 25 feet away she held one up over her head and screamed "oh mister here R your panties" and waved them at me. I was shocked and mortified to say the least. I went to the counter and paid for them and left without looking either way making myself not run out of the store.

This woman was in her late 40s or early 50s, perhaps she had had some bad experiences with men. Maybe she was weary of them sweating and lying or stealing lingerie. All I know is I paid the price in cash and humiliation that day.

[hammer]

i buy a lot at thrift stores and have never been questioned though i have got some looks

[maid phylis]

here in new york city we are a very visible group and i for one as a sales person and on the road a lot i always seem to find lingerie shops on my route.in all of them i am a valued customer and all the sales girls know about me.i can go into any of these shops and pick out and try on all the bras and girdles i want without any problem,as i wear my lingerie under my drabs its easy to go in to the fitting room and try on my new bra or girdle.and all the sales persons appreciate that i am up front and i make sure that they know that its all for me.ps i love to go shopping. love phylisanne:love: :doll:

[Kimberley]

I've had it happen and my response was anything from its for my wife to it's mine to occasionally just p*****g on the clerk's brain for a while. (That is always fun confusing them to the point they dont know which end is up.)

Regardless, it is none of their business and sometimes you have to ask "Does it matter who it's for? That usually puts things in perspective.

Of course you can always open your wallet and exclaim that you left your female money at home after it is rung in.....

[hammer]

i dont care what the clerk thinks i enjoy the excitement of new underthings

[kay_jessica]

Well its not a problem for me as I now do all of my femmine retail therapy as Kay. I even try things on. It gets really interesting when I take a couple of dresses into the changing cubicle and then ask the eassistant to help zip me up. As for lingerie, I find it much easier shopping for it en femme as I tend to ponder styles and colours a lot more rather than grabbing what may or may not be right. The same goes for stockings and tights. I even had a short conversation with the assistant in one of the department stores about the pros and cons of stockings versus holdups. She preferred holdups for every day wear but stocking if she was going out. So far the experiances that I have had have been all good.

For me it is part of being the girl i am.

Hugs Kay xxx

[ava_bruna]

Hey Karren, I like your way of thinking, yes it is kinna nice to see the sale's girl's fave turn all shade's of pink and red hehe but my best ting was at Burl coat factory was this big black dude was checking people out, he was I must say a real nice looking guy, well when I got to the desk i has a pretty pinkish dress and a skirt as well as a couple other thing's the funny thing was, his shirt was just about the same pink as my dress to be were the very same shade,I was somewhat bold and told him that I loved the color of his shirt and he looked at my dress and said, so i see , hehe smart guy:). But it did make me feel good to hear someone say i had good tast in color:) I dont go as offten as I use to , been spending way to much and running out of room now that we are in a smaller apt. Huggie's, Ava.

[Jolene]

I think my biggest fear is someone I know walking up behind me as I am paying for my things ..... Jolene


Bought a package of Hanes briefs a while back and the young sales clerk did not react at all. We chatted about the weather as she rang up my undies.