the light bulb went off....

[Jenni'sGirl GG]

Good morning everyone,

I would like to share this maybe minor revalation with you all...I think that it is going to be a major one in our lives (me and Jenni2716).

I was making the bed this morning and was thinking about the evening that Jenni and and shared last night. How pretty she looked and what fun we had. Then for some reason it dawned on me that her being able to share herself fully with me was incrediable.

I cannot imagine what it must feel like to have these kind of desires/feelings in the world in which we live. Having to hide who you are and wanting just to be yourself. I don't think that I ever really clued in how hard it must be at times - I think I was just thinking about myself and how all this affected me. I was being quite selfish. There must have been dark momments for her and I am going to try to make those momments as less as possible going forward.

I am sorry if I am rambling but I needed to share with you all that I made this step today.

Thanks for being there for Jenni and now for me...it feels so good to be part of a community.

[Tina Dixon]

Well it sounds like you two are going to enjoy things together in life with a great attude like that, good for the two of you.

[GypsyKaren]

That's very sweet of you to say, and I'm quite touched by it. Speaking from experience, I can tell you that trying to hide yourself away is very hard indeed, it's something I don't recommend to anyone. You shouldn't feel like you were selfish for anything, for what you've just said shows me that you're a very special person inside, and Jenni is very lucky to have you in her life.

Karen

[HawksHoney]

<nodding head>

Yep, that's kinda how I feel.... It made a whole new playing field of our relationship. If I ever wonder - does he really like me... is it just the sex for him.... those stupid relationship questions that I always seem to dwell on too much - Well, gosh - Hawk really must trust me to share this with me. I mean really trust me considering if I were to be a mean spirited person I could really cause some major damage to his life.

Hawks Honey

[Bernice]

Dear Jenni'sGirl,

I don't think you rambled at all. I appreceate that you shared your revelation with us. Growing and maturing is a lot more fun when not forced by unpleasant circumstances, isn't it?

Indeed as previously mentioned, mean-spirited people do take advantage of the knowledge of other people's crossdressing lifestyle. I'm sorry, I think I just inadvertently implied that crossdressing is a choice. It isn't.

Many years ago, a person I married fully exploited this knowledge to justify her hateful actions. Not contesting her motion for annullment was the best decision I ever made.

These things that people do (I would call them "evil people", but I think they mostly act out of ignorance, fear, and being too lazy to want to learn more) are the most common reasons that crossdressers fail to inform their girlfriends/fiancees prior to marriage - with often disastrous consequences afterwards. Many threads here focus on when or whether or how to tell a SO if she does not already know.

Trust and acceptance are the number one and two most important things in any marriage. Without both, no marriage can survive. With enough of both, no marriage is beyond hope.

Here's to predicting (and wishing for you) a long and happy marriage!

[EricaCD]

Hello Jenni'sGirl, and thanks for sharing such a terrific post with us. You are definitely correct: being able to share our fem sides can be a wonderful blessing to both partners in a relationship.

There is no physical intimacy that ever comes close to the intimacy of revealing this portion of our selves to the one we love and trust. That's to say nothing of the vulnerability that we must show in doing so! Leave aside the basic risks: we can lose our spouse, our kids, our friends, our social lives. Those are the risks that we share with (let's be honest: force upon) our spouses when we open the closet door and bring them in. I am talking about the other risk: put simply, the risk of looking your spouse in the eye and seeing shame, disgust, horror or ridicule reflected back.

I am perfectly (believe me, PERFECTLY) aware of the burdens that we inflict when we "share" this side of ourselves. I am watching firsthand as my wife goes through the difficult steps of overcoming her fear, her anger, her embarrassment and what I suppose is her distaste for envisioning the part of me that is Erica. I continue to hope that we will work through this together, and that once she is past the shock she might also see the (to quote you) "incredible" nature of what we now share.

Your message about coming to that revelation, together with many similar posts in this forum, is a big part of the reason I have that hope. So I thank you again for sharing.

Erica

[Adele]

Not so long ago I spent my first evening fully dressed with my wife. She did an amazing job with my make up and was full of complements as to how I looked and behaved.

At the end of the evening we chatted and she commented how I was more confident and open and happier whilst dressed.

So I too look at my relationship and marvel at what a lucky person I am.

[Jenn2716]

Wow, what a nice surprise to come home from a long day at work and see than my wonderful wife has posted such a nice message. I also had a great time last night and I really appreciated her just hanging out with me while I was fully dressed and snapping some pics for me.

I'm glad that our relationship is going so strong, and honestly all of the credit should go to her. As scary as it was for me to tell her about my cding, I really didn't have a choice. I can't change who I am, so it was only fair to tell her who I really was when we began our life together. It is SHE who has had to learn to deal with this aspect of my life, something she had never been exposed to or even thought of befoer she met me. Slowly over the past 10 years, she has learned to accept and eventually love all of me. I can never thank her enough for that.

Thanks sweetie,
Jenni

[bredalee25]

Awe how sweet you made me form tears of joy for both of you. What a great feeling it must be to know that you're loving wife accepts all of you and not just the parts of you she likes but all of you. It's really beautiful to hear of a loving relationship between a cd and her wife. I wish you two all the happiness you can have as you both deserve it. ttfn