Should I tell him or her?

[FrankieJ GG]

Good morning! I have a quick question, it might help if I could understand my SO, just a little bit more but I am wondering... I love this person and soon enough I want to tell them that. I am trying to figure out if I should tell him or her first. How will he feel when I say it and would it be more emotional and make "her" feel better to hear it first. I want to be meaningful when I say it. I love everything about both sides of this person but who do I give this huge step in our relationship to? We have discussed love and know that it is there yet we have yet to use the words. So who do I express this to, him or Tylie? And by the way, she still gets more beautiful to me everytime I see her, I just have to say that cause this is the only place I can express that! This person means so much to me and is so amazing!! Hehehe

Thanks, FrankieJ

[SherriePall]

Telling someone you love them is not something that should be put off. Tell your SO the next time you meet, no matter how dressed.

[carol ann]

SherriePal has it spot-on - telling someone you love them should never be delayed.

At the same time analyse you own feelings about the crossdressing and share those feelings with him/her. If there are positives share those but equally share the negatives. - Agree together the boundaries - and how far others - family, friend, colleagues - should be included or excluded.

Believe me if you share the crossdressing you will equally share the heartaches that a non-conformist lifestyle will undoubtedly bring

[Talon DeRojo]

Frankie - I agree with Sherrie. If you express yourself to your S/O as clearly as you've done in writing here, I think that it will be welcomed, no matter how he's dressed.
Talon:)

[Ivana]

If you are at all unsure about what your SO will say or how he or she will react, I would keep your crossdressing still a personal secret for how. Don't ask, don't tell would be best if there is doubt. It may cause the destruction of your loving realtionship.

Ivana

[Jennaie]

Yea, I wouldn't tell her though, she's liable to get all soppy and start crying and then who knows what?, start looking at your pockets to see if you have an engagement ring. :lol:

[FrankieJ GG]

Just to make sure cause I know I dont have the GG after my name yet, I am the girlfriend of a CD. And I guess its true I should not be waiting for anything to tell my SO but I just want to make sure its right. I have never felt true love before so maybe I question if thats what this is? I have thought I felt love for a SO before but dont think it was ever true. I guess I just wonder if it will mean more to him to here it in femme because he will understand that I love every part of him and her... ???

[Kimberley]

Just to make sure cause I know I dont have the GG after my name yet, I am the girlfriend of a CD. And I guess its true I should not be waiting for anything to tell my SO but I just want to make sure its right. I have never felt true love before so maybe I question if thats what this is? I have thought I felt love for a SO before but dont think it was ever true. I guess I just wonder if it will mean more to him to here it in femme because he will understand that I love every part of him and her... ???
**********
If you know then you have made a huge leap. I would approach it gently (some of us have a hard time coming out) but let him/her know you love for the right reasons. The rest is window dressing.

Hugs and all the best,
Kimberley.

[DonnaT]

Not knowing Tylie myself, I'd suggest telling him you love him and his her side.

Telling Tylie could be confusing for him (the correct pronoun in this case ;) ), if he's not real secure being her.

EDIT: Went back to your first post 5/11/06. Since his dressing is mostly sexual, then I think telling him is the way to go.