Im making my first trip out ... Any suggestions please?!

[Paula UK]

hiya girls

im planning going "out" for the first time - i expect most of you have already been there!

anyway, i obviously want to be safe! i plan on going to Exeter ( a city in Devon UK for those accross the waves) i know the city well, but i obviously still have concerns. basicly, i dont want to be "spotted" ... any suggestions will be greatfully recieved as they say. i dread, not "passing" although i know i probably will be though! what do you do if you are spotted and outed, it scares the shit out of me!!!

help!

paulaxx

[JoAnnDallas]

Wear a outfit so you will blend in. You will be less noticable.

[Nikki Dee]

Hi. Love...Common fears ...we have all been there I promise...just be confident (you don't say if you are going alone?) head high and smile. Choose a busy day and you soon get lost in the crowd as it were...If you are read..then smile and carry on..try not to look "furtive"...that attracts attention...if all else fails..take your shoes off and run.!!!LOL...most of all...ENJOY.!! Best of luck...let us know how it all goes...I'm sure you will be fine.!!
Love Nikki. x

[Rachel]

Hello Paula,

Glad that you are now ready to go out for the first time, it really is wonderful to go out after being indoors before. I know Exeter well too and wonder if it is the right place for a first time. I think it may be too busy, too many people about for a first time. The last thing you want to happen is to become caught up amongst a lot of young people who have been drinking and are on a night out. Teenage girls can be very perceptive!!

I think you might be happier to go to somewhere like Exmouth, go to the sea front first just before dusk where it will be quiet and you can get used to the sensation of being outdoors walking around in a skirt and heels. When you feel a little more confident then go into the town centre and window shop but remember that girls look in different shop windows to men!

Remember to take shorter steps as a woman than a man does and stroll don't hurry. When you feel braver try going to a large 24hr. supermarket where you can stroll around late at night and look at ladies clothes/shoes/make up etc. It is a nice thing to do and feels very girlie.

Have a great time, be safe.

[paulaN]

Yes be confident that seems to be a very big factor in going out. your nerves will be racing at first but you will calm down after a bit. I don't go out very much so I get the same feelings every time. be happy be confident have fun.

[Paula UK]

thanx girls all your comments are appreciated.

rachel.i know exmouth well, and yes i may well agree with you, good idea, may well go for that suggestion!

thanks ladies

luv you all

paula xxx

[Emily Ann Brown]

Great advice so far.....may I add more for your first time out?

Keep the makeup light so you don't attract attention, wear flats instead of 4" heels so you don't nervously fall and do damage to yourself, fix an emergency bag with sweatshirt, jogging pants, loafers, and a wet towel (you never know when you will have an emergency, and I find great peace in having an "exit" ready in the car), an over the shoulder pocketbook is good for attaching a hand to (you will wonder "what do I do with this nervous hand?"), your cellphone is a good prop when you get too nervous (everybody is always fiddling with theirs), and lastly plan the route you are intending to walk the first time and know your quickest way back to your vehicle if you panic (and retreat slowly).


Emily Ann

[Emily Ann Brown]

When spotted as a crossdresser, don't get out of character. Remain a woman and move on towards what you decide is a safer spot to regroup. Have been read twice.....first time I just moved away from the person and tried to ignore their shock. Five minutes later I was shopping again in another part of the store.Second time was in McDonalds, and Trixie gave me the best advice ever.....ignore the person and they will go away. They did, and I had a lovely lunch with her.

Emily Ann

[Paula UK]

thanx girls. all very usefull comments.....many thanks


paula x

[charlottejane]

hi bes to f luck i think exmouth would be a better idea or maybe further along the coast know the area welland there are plenty of seculded spots
xxx charlottejane

[Breanna]

You go girl.. I remember my first time out in the pubic, it had me scared but to my surprise i addapted very well.I was what i was and not someone pretening to be! Be yourself and you will have confidence in going out.


Breanna.

[Tracy_Victoria]

Paula

Passing as a female is something most can do, but there are some simple rules.

1.Dress well but not over the top.

2.Blend in, don't stand out.

3.Wear clothes to fit the occation, ie don't wear a ball gown to the zoo

4.Make sure you add them feminine touches (ie female accessories)

5.Make sure your wig is the best it can look, being spotted as a wig make people look deeper and Harder

5. Be confident, sulking from corner to corner or shadow to shadow again draws attention to you

6. Don't over play the role, or forget who, or what you are.

7. Avoid confrontations, and troublesome locations

8. if it's a sunny day you can wear sunglasses, to help aid your disguise.

9. Take small steps. in both case. Ie walk slowly, and don't frog match do the road. start of in a quiet place with a few people to test your disguise, don't just drop your self in the deep end, with no escape route.

10. Smile, your out shopping doing what woman love to do best, a warm smile and a confident front, as if you totally belong were you are and doing what your doing. there are manly, or masculine real woman out there, so just act the role, but don't forget your on a 360 degree stage!!! Everyone around can see you, so play your part well, but not over play it.

most of all, have fun, this is what you most want to do!!!!

Good Luck!!!

[mskilmer]

My big mistake at first was trying to blend in too much. I wore jeans and stuff ... got spotted right away it seems. It was no big deal getting spotted, but it was a disappointment. I finally figured it out ... by trying to dress down, I was actually dressing like a GUY! Well ... I had the breats forms and the make-up and all ... but I was accentuating my guy features. I've since realized (DUH!) that many GG's dress in ways that accentuate male fashion. Trying to emmulate that accentuates your male attributes. Since stumbling onto this eye opening reality, I've had MUCH more success going out and I've had more fun doing it.


Just my thoughts. 0.02

[Phoebe Reece]

As others have said, dress to blend in is best for a first time out. While you may want to avoid places that are so crowded that a pickpocket could get in your purse, you likewise should avoid areas that are too deserted. You will be less noticed in a crowd than on a relatively empty street or mall. We all get "read" sooner or later. If it happens, keep your composure, try to smile and conduct yourself as if you have every right to be where you are as the next person (and you do). Avoid confrontations, but don't just run away in fear because you think there might be one. If somone calls you "sir", don't act offended - but it is OK to act as if you thought they were referring to someone else. Keep your sense of humor about things and be yourself. Try to remember that you are going out because you think it will be fun - and it will be.

[Paula UK]

thanks again girls..

it seems the overwhelming bit of advice here is to be confident...i hope i can manage that. i certainly plan on haing fun though!!

paula xx

once again, many thanks fr your advice.

[andrea6er]

Hi Paula, as one who is also thinking very seriously about venturing out in public as well, the comments posted so far are all a help, myself I have taken to the pavements, but so far at ungodly hours of the early morning just to get a feel of what it might be like with fellow shoppers about. So far only postmen and delivery drivers have seen me, and thankfully no comments. However I must admit it is taking a huge risk as girls are not normally seen out at this hour and I was totally alone, except my escape route to the car and a pair of heels as my weapon, I don't think my tactic is very advisable though. Best of luck in your adventures, let us know how you got on.

[Brenda Elizabeth]

thanks again girls..

it seems the overwhelming bit of advice here is to be confident...i hope i can manage that. i certainly plan on haing fun though!!

paula xx

once again, many thanks fr your advice.

Hi Paula
You have received some great advice from the previous posts and yes, I agree with your observation, self confidence is the major factor.
However, in my case, self confidence is something I had to build on and on my first few steps out into general public world, I used to go with a friend and after a time, because we were chatting about this and that, forgot about worrying if people were staring at me.
Also personally, I would go to a more crowded open place, when the kids are at school, such as the shopping area or Mall in Exeter, as I believe you are less likely to be noticed, generally because most people are more occupied with themselves and what they are supposed to be doing.
The main thing is to have fun and enjoy that first experience.

hugs
Brenda x

[Sam-antha]

and do not look over your shoulder at the other girls.

~Samm

[Sally24]

Good luck Paula, I think you will love it! My two cents are:

1. Move in slow motion compared to a guy. Make slower, gracefull moves with your hands, your walk, everything. No sudden or jerky movements.

2. Smile as nice and sincere as you can. Women smile so much more than we do and it usually puts others at ease. It also makes you feel much better, too.

Just be safe and have a good time. I've been out several times this past year and have not had anything but good experiences.

[Kieron Andrew]

thanks again girls..

it seems the overwhelming bit of advice here is to be confident...i hope i can manage that. i certainly plan on haing fun though!!

paula xx

once again, many thanks fr your advice.
your not that far from Bristol really, if and when your ready and you have transport why not come up on of our organised nights out and meet some other girls!!, its always a safe and friendly night out!

[btmgrl6]

If you have to use the loo.... don't forget to sit down.......:D

Have a great time. you may never go back!

Syeph

[FionaAlexis]

Hi Paula,

My advice is here:

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=13818

I don't know that I'd add much to it. Just do it by stages....drive your car dressed...post a letter...go the ATM...and build up your confidence that way.

Fiona xx

[MistyCD]

Hi, 2 items to add to your list...

1. make sure you have your car keys or house keys in hand before locking the door.

2. If driving, make sure you have some drab clothes with you that you can quickly change into, in case your car breaks down, flat tire, etc

hugs Misty ...... good luck and enjoy

[MsJanessa]

hiya girls

im planning going "out" for the first time - i expect most of you have already been there!

anyway, i obviously want to be safe! i plan on going to Exeter ( a city in Devon UK for those accross the waves) i know the city well, but i obviously still have concerns. basicly, i dont want to be "spotted" ... any suggestions will be greatfully recieved as they say. i dread, not "passing" although i know i probably will be though! what do you do if you are spotted and outed, it scares the shit out of me!!!

help!

paulaxx
My suggestion for your first time out is plan an evening excursion to a TG/TV friendly venue----like at local trannie bar or a gay bar with a drag night. You will feel a lot more relaxed and worry a lot less about passing----save the trips to the shopping mall etc until you have a little more practice.