Hawk's Major Malfunction.....

[HawksHoney]

:rant: is that he is a genetic man. I like to think that I am a great catch. Ok, maybe not great, but pretty good at least. I am so terribly frustrated right now. It's almost as if he can forget I exist for days at a time. I get it, he's busy, I understand, but I'm sorry - it only takes a few minutes to make a quick hello phone call... and I think I'm worth that much!

I don't want to marry him, I don't want to live with him, and I don't even want to see him every day.... I enjoy the companionship, the sex, and the fun of hanging with a neat guy.

The only thing is, I need a little tiny piece of him - and no matter how much I ask, tell, and almost beg - nada, nothing, zilch. He says he understands, and then smiles at me and I totally cave and all is forgiven.

:wall:

Yeah, he trusts me, that's great. But what the heck, I'm starting to feel like all I am is a huge pain in his butt - AAARRRHHHHGGGGHHH!

Ok, it's Friday, and he isn't working today. I texted and asked if he would have time to hang out yesterday... and no response.

Yes, I know this has nothing to do with crossdressing, but you would think that with the whole crossdressing thing he would have a teeny tiny bit of sensitivity!

end rant

Hawk's Unappreciated Honey

[Ms. Donna]

Hi Ya,

OK, I just went back and read all of your posts. You are one cool woman and your SO should acknowledge you as such! :)

The whole BDSM thing you have going on probably contributed to your not being knocked over by him in his panties. As you are already open minded to 'alternative' aspects to your relationship, crossdressing isn't all that difficult to process.

It is possible that your immediate acceptance has scared Hank. Many CDers who are 'easily' accepted get frightened - mainly because no one in their lives ever accepted this part of them. They become suspicious, waiting for the other shoe to drop. I don't feel strongly about this one, but it is a possibility.

Also possible is that he may not be the 'one' for you - or you for him. Is his behavior different now that you know about him than before? Is it possible that you are not the only woman in his life? Could be that you are 'convienent' for him and he isn't looking for a deep relationship?

I'm not trying to stir up the pot here - just offer some points to ponder.

I think that you need to have a heart-to-heart with him about your relationship in general - where it's at and where it's going. If you can come to a mutual understanding with regards to that, I suspect that the CDing aspect will factor out as a non-issue.

Keep us up to date!

Love & Stuff,
Donna

[HawksHoney]

<sigh> He should, but he doesn't. Booger.

Nah, it isn't the crossdressing acceptance thing... if anything, he was kind of shocked that I had questions about it.

Yep, maybe he isn't Mr. Right, but I'm not really looking for Mr. Right - I'm kind of looking for a Mr. Right Now.

With both of our family/work/school/life in general committments neither of us want a 'real deal' or forever kind of thing.

I know for a fact I'm not the only one in his life, and that's fine with me. But I'd like something more than begging for a little time and feeling like I'm a huge whiner.

I also know I am Way Too convenient for him. I just got off the phone with him, and we now have plans for Tuesday. He's too busy to have a girlfriend - he said it himself, and I agreed. But the pro's outweigh the con's - and on Tuesday it will be amazing and beautiful and wonderful in every way - and I'll get my fix like the Hawk junkie I am, and about a week from then I'll start whining again until I get what I want like the princess I think I am.

:wall:

I am one of those chicks that put the fun in dysfunctional.

He is one of those boys my mother warned me about.

[raksha GG]

I sometimes think we expect a little too much of our fellas, and the 'sensitive woman' thing doesn't always go any more than skin deep with some of them. Try not to be too disappointed that he can't always live up to your expectations, and celebrate it when he can do something nice. I've found out the hard way that expecting the same levels of thoughfullness from other people leaves you dissapointed (CD'er or not ;)), and permitting them to have such control over your emotions through the way they behave (consiously or not) is the short route to depression, which has been often contributed to a lack of a perceived 'deserved reward' - if you do things with no expection of reward, you can't be dissapointed.

Sorry, I've rambled a bit there, but I hope you get he gist :hugs:

[sherri]

There are all kinds of possible explanations for what's going on with you two, but I gotta tell ya baby, it seems to me like he's just not that into you, and it doesn't seem like his CDing has much to do with it one way or the other. Another thing that might be going on is that lots of guys like to be the pursuer, not the pursuee. If I were in your shoes, I'd turn the tables on him -- adopt a take it or leave it, low priority attitude, and start shopping for someone else while you're at it. If he doesn't take the bait, it doesn't sound like you will be losing much.

BTW, judging from your pic and your posts, not only are you a cutie, your willingness to push the envelope is a turn-on. If you enjoy the CD aspect of this guy, trust me, there are lots of CDers out there who would relish a relationship with you.

[Ms. Donna]

Yep, maybe he isn't Mr. Right, but I'm not really looking for Mr. Right - I'm kind of looking for a Mr. Right Now.

With both of our family/work/school/life in general committments neither of us want a 'real deal' or forever kind of thing.

Be that as it may, it sounds like you're getting the, um, short end of the stick... If not literally, than figuratively. :cheeky:


I know for a fact I'm not the only one in his life, and that's fine with me. But I'd like something more than begging for a little time and feeling like I'm a huge whiner.

Is this guy really 'all that'? Is he really worth the angst?


I also know I am Way Too convenient for him. I just got off the phone with him, and we now have plans for Tuesday. He's too busy to have a girlfriend - he said it himself, and I agreed. But the pro's outweigh the con's - and on Tuesday it will be amazing and beautiful and wonderful in every way - and I'll get my fix like the Hawk junkie I am, and about a week from then I'll start whining again until I get what I want like the princess I think I am.

You sound like you deserve better. At the very least, someone who will show you a bit more respect and considerstion. Being friends with benefits is all well and good, but there is no reason for him take advantage of you. :mad:


I am one of those chicks that put the fun in dysfunctional.

He is one of those boys my mother warned me about.

Well, it seems that you already have the answers to your questions.

All that remains is for you to decide what you are going to do about it. :undecided

Love & Stuff,
Donna

[HawksHoney]

GAK! Noooo..... Kiss of death.

He's just not that into you.

I SO hate when that happens. And I can think of a bazillion reasons why it should not be true! Number one being I don't want it to be true, and number two why would he bother telling me about the cd thing and plan trips for us to go out of town together if he doesn't dig me? I know, why buy the cow when the milk is free?

We both have kids.... nah, it isn't about them.

BDSM thing? I like to play, he doesn't, some things I've talked about have kind of scared him I think. I've asked nicely to be tied up a bit but he didn't wanna so I left it alone.

Is the guy really worth it? <sigh> Of course not. No man is. :p But - he is so much fun to be around, I love the way I feel when he smiles at me, the sex is fab - one of my friends describes it as porn sex and animal sex all wrapped up in one package, and I just want him so much.

I thought that him sharing the CD thing was like, hmmm, proof that he really was into me. At least I had hoped so.

What am I going to do about it? The truth? For now probably nothing. I'm going to hope that he stops working so much, and that his life in general doesn't interfere with what I want, and that he suddenly decides that he needs to call every few days and say hello.

I'm going to keep seeing the other fellow I've been dating, and see where that goes. I'm pretty sure he is looking for "insta-family" though, and although he digs the whole master/slave thing, it just isn't the same animal/porn sex like it is with Hawk.

Yes, I am aware of the moral/ethical/health issues of having more than one intimate partner.... no glove, no love.

Dissapointed is my middle name Raksha.

:wall: :loser:

Forgive the whine, next time I promise to bring some cheese.