Wife does not approve

[braman424]

My wife does not approve of my crossdressing at all. She has known for a long time but still hates it. On halloween she has no problem with it. I am just wondering if any others have the same problem and maybe some advice ho to overcome this. The neighbours wife knows and it doesnt bother her(or him) at all.

[Kimberley]

Welcome to one of the great commonalities of the forum. There is a ton of stuff posted about this subject. Unfortunately, there is no one solution.

Welcome to the forum.

Kimberley.

[bibottom30064]

My wife has been aware for many years and will buy me clothes, leave the house to allow a "day en femme" and plan days for us to wear the same panties. Does not participate otherwise but I consider myself fortunate.

I would be interested to know how your neighbor knows. Did your wife confide in her?

[EricaCD]

Kimberley is right: the spectrum here runs from people who lost long-standing marriages over their crossdressing to people whose wives enjoy sexual role reversal. Based on a totally unscientific survey, I would guess that the majority of SOs of members here are between "don't-ask-don't-tell-I-don't-approve" and tolerance up to the point of shopping together in drab. At least, that is among the SOs who know.

You'll find plenty of content here. The basic rules seem to be:

1. Educate
2. Don't push

Good luck! (And wish me luck. I'm in about the same boat.)
Erica

[Julie Avery]

Braman, in trying to answer your question, I was wondering how long you've been married to your non-accepting wife - that is, what do you mean by "a long time"? Based on your age in your profile, if she's your first and only wife, my guess would be, she's never going to accept.

I've made a few assumptions here, and before I say anything else, I'd like to make sure they're not mistaken.

[Bev06 GG]

My wife does not approve of my crossdressing at all. She has known for a long time but still hates it. On halloween she has no problem with it. I am just wondering if any others have the same problem and maybe some advice ho to overcome this. The neighbours wife knows and it doesnt bother her(or him) at all.
Hi Braman,
Firstly, living next door to a crossdresser is quite different to actually living with one. Youve got to admit your crossdressing is going to affect your wife a heck of a lot more than it does your neighbours.
Secondly, you didn't say whether or not you'de discussed it with your wife,what she actually hates about it, how she found out, how long you'de been together when she did find out etc etc.
I wouldn't necessarily agree to the fact that most women just tolerate it, or that those that dont like it, never come round. Sometimes GGs mellow with age and get a broader perspective on life, what they once considered to be very important suddenly pales into insignificance as they get older and life knocks them about abit.. And there are women who do actually like their partner dressing.
Anyway, hang on in there and just be patient you never know.
BEVxxx

[Eugenie]

Hello Braman,

My situation is fairly similar to yours, as far as I can tell from your initial message. My wife has known since more than 35 years. I told her just a few years after we got married. She tollerates my x-dressing but doesn't want to have any part in it, not even talk about it.

It doesn't look like she is softening her position on that subject. She knows I X-dress as soon as she goes on business trips, which is quite frequent... She knows I meet other CDs when I'm out of town (Meeting local CDs is out of the question, this was one of the rares discussions we had about my x-dressing). She also know that I discuss with CDs in forums such as this one.

I try not to be too visible in my x-dressing activities in order to respect her dislike of it... But occasionally a package arrives home from a mail order catalogue and she says nothing or even makes joke about my having so many women clothes... Likewise she some times complains about my wardrobe being to full of female clothes and my male clothes being skatched and wrinkled because of that...

I sort of dread the time when we will both be retired and neither of us will be travelling anymore...

Love.

Eugenie

[janedoe311]

She does not approve but puts up with it, as long as she is not around.

[carol ann]

Put yourself in her place - would you approve?

[DonnaT]

My wife has known for 30 yrs, tolerates it pretty well most of the time. Has even been out with me.
But she still hates it.

[gennee]

My wife doesn't approve of me dressing up. I won't force the issue, either. We talked a few times about it, but she doesn't understand much about crossdressing and transgender issues. She doesn't stop me from dressing but I won't dress in front of her though.

[Deanna2]

What I can gather from the myriad contributions on the forum on this topic and from my very own experience is that wives exhibit a range of reactions and emotions when 'confronted' by a CD spouse. That range goes from 'aaargh' to knowledge of it but don't do when I'm around, through tolerance, acceptance (with various degrees of grace) to support and active participation. And there are a multitude of in-betweens. Dealing with the situation is very much on a case-by-case basis. There is no formulaic answer.

Time and patience are, perhaps, a CD's greatest attributes and don't under-estimate these.

In my own case, I've gone from my wife being aware of me wearing femme gear to a stage where she can accept (I hope) me wearing skirts, etc around the house. And don't I think that is fantastic!