To dress or not to dress

[Lily Lyn]

Hi, I wanted to ask everyone if I am just strange or overly shy? My wife (dancininthedark) and I are planning on attending the Be-All. I want to go to meet some of the people that we have talked to here. I am unwilling to dress in fem for this event. You see I have always dressed in private and alone except for the two times that I have fully dressed for my wife, plus a hand full of times partially dressed. I would be too self-conscience to do it out in public, even amoung friends. Now I realize that not dressing will also make me feel out of place. Am I indecisive or what? Do many CDer's go to these and not dress? I have a moustache and have never tried any makeup. Gunforhire:o

[DonnaT]

If you don't plan on shaving the moustache, then I suggest not dressing. You may feel out of place in drab, but you'll feel it even more so if enfemme with a moustache.

Additionally, I've heard of CDs going to an event for the first time and finding it too difficult to even leave the room dressed.

Stay in your comfort zone and have fun.

[Jennaie]

If you want to go to meet others, just go. Dosn't matter whether or not your dressed. Although I am sure that they will encourage you to dress. Don't feel like you have to dress to attend something like this. If it were me and I had a "how do spell it?" moustache? I would never go out in public dressed. :happy:

[az_azeel]

hi
i dont think you are being indesisive at all my self i have always dressed in private. The only time i have been out was when my so dragged me out and made me walk round the back garden. I think if i was you i would not dress.. as it is the first time..at least then you will get a feel for what the event is like. people will accept you as you are it should not matter. Maybe then the next time you will feel better then go dressed
good luck on whatever decision you make


az_azeel

[Alexis Ann]

I used to have a 'stache also. I wore the clothes, but obviously never went full on enfemme. Then one day, i asked my wife if she would show me how to do make up, and she said erm...sure. She knew i dressed by the way. So off came the facial hair and on went the foundation and eye shadow!

I have yet to grow back the moustachio.

My advice, shave it off well in advance of your social function. It will look odd, but you will just melt the first time you see yourself all dolled up with makeup and wig...i did.

If you absolutely hate it with out the facial hair, you have time to grow it back, and can justify the sudden lippy baldness as an effort to look younger to anyone who asks. Its what i did.

But I'd give it a try...shave it off and then go wild with the make up. If you dont know how to apply MU and you have an understanding honey, make it an enjoyable or romantic evening in, her teaching you the basics. Thasts how I learned :thumbsup:

0.02

AA

[Holly]

Honey, if you don't want to dress, then don't. But if I were you, I'd go. You may discover some things about yourself being around other CDers. I would venture to say that you would not be the only one in attendace in drab. However you might consider taking a couple of outfits with you just in case....:winking:

[Breanne]

Shave the mustache and go for it, you'll always regret it if you don't. I was esactly the same way prior to SCC two years ago (minus mustache). Some months before, I was wavering between drab or en femme, but once I made up my mind that this was my best opportunity, I did it. Held my breath and walked out to door of the hotel room. Not a moment of regret for the next four days. Go for it, especially if you have a supporting spouse.

[KrazyKat]

:iagree: Gun, What they said, all the above. There is only what you and yours feel comfortable with!! Karen and I went last year for the first time, we had been to some TG friendly bars in Chicago, but this was an exciting new thing!! I do remember when we first checked in, a rather nervous en drab young man waiting outside the bar for friends, looking very nervous and taking everything in. I had to smile, because I knew what was going on in his mind, well, as much as a GG can understand!! I was happy to see him meet his friends and have a good time.
We also had PM'd others from this site who were going to meet us en drab, but something came up, they couldn't make it!!
Hope this helps!!

Kat

[Dana]

I would go with what's comfortable for you ~ and at this time ~ that would seem to be the same old day to day you. A la in drab! In doing so ~ I'm sure you will NOT encounter any serously negative responses ~ Hey! We've all been there, have we not ~ and that's a pretty serious leap for most? But, I'm also sure that you will encounter what is "implied" as encouragement as well. Hey? You've got the wife going with you ~ and many would give their eye teeth for that!

But, more than your just comfort level ~ and to play the Devil's Advocate here ~ please take into consideration the wife's comfort level ~ I mean she's got her hands covering her ears and doing the "stepping through the mine field" thing as well.

So, I would suggest ~ that since this is your first event ~ go slow ~ "walking through a mime field slow!" Do your reconisnence, secure your fire base, secure your flanks, secure your front and rear, and have an exit strategy ~ as well as alternate plans. Have a fall back plan ~ and consider your logistics and reserves! (Bet you couldn't guess I'd been the military ~ huh? LOL!)

With all that said ~ I'd go as I was ~ BUT, I'd take my girly stuff with me.

[trannie T]

Keep the moustache and wear a dress, you will look just like my aunt.

[GypsyKaren]

Do whatever makes you feel comfortable, you most certainly don't have to dress. There's no "must dress" requirement, and no one will care or look down on you for anything. It's all about having a good time, so don't feel pressured to do something you're not ready for...there's always next time.

Karen

[Teresa Amina]

[QUOTE=Alexis Ann]can justify the sudden lippy baldness as an effort to look younger to anyone who asks. Its what i did.[QUOTE]

This worked for me. The 'stache was my last hold on denial and once it was gone much of the inner conflict was gone. Now it's just inner drama. Go, and get dressed for it too.

[Sandra]

Honey, if you don't want to dress, then don't. But if I were you, I'd go. You may discover some things about yourself being around other CDers. I would venture to say that you would not be the only one in attendace in drab. However you might consider taking a couple of outfits with you just in case....:winking:

I agree with Holly here, no one is making you dress and if you don't want then don't. Go and have a good time. :)

[BlueKat]

Do whatever makes you feel comfortable, you most certainly don't have to dress. There's no "must dress" requirement, and no one will care or look down on you for anything. It's all about having a good time, so don't feel pressured to do something you're not ready for...there's always next time.Karen
ditto, that's good advice.
I definitely wouldn't CD and keep the facial hair, though.

[Sharon]

I agree with Holly here, no one is making you dress and if you don't want then don't. Go and have a good time. :)

But take a suitcase of your clothing, just in case you change your mind. :)

[Sandra]

But take a suitcase of your clothing, just in case you change your mind. :)


But of course that goes without saying :)

[Butterfly Bill]

Depending on how long this event is, and whether there would be times and places to change, take both your drab and your femme, and follow your feelings. I predict that you will start wishing you were en femme after about 15 minutes of it if you aren't.

[Butterfly Bill]

And I have facial hair, so don't worry about that, unless it is a Tri-Ess event.

[Lily Lyn]

I just wanted to thank you for all of your responses and support and I wanted to tell you that at this time I do not want to loose the facial hair (I've had it a long time, about 29 years) and I am not ready to try makeup, maybe someday but not now. I have only recently shaved off a beard that I had for at least twelve years. I will be going in drab. My wife and I have discussed my taking fem clothing and I will be taking some things to wear in case we decide to in private, I am not ready for public dress. I am looking forward to meeting some of you there and I am sure I will have a lot of questions. Thank you again for the understanding and reassurances that I will not feel out of place because I am not dresses in fem. I am not only concerned about my comfort levels but also my wife's. She has been very supportive in private and deserves to see her husband dressed up in public, in drab as a man.:hugs:
I do not dress up as a man very often, usually nice jeans and a nice dress shirt is about as much as she has gotten from me and that has only been very recently, in the last six months. The only times I have dressed up was for a funeral or two in the last eighteen years and the day that we were married. :o I want to show her that I am her man no matter what. For all of you that have expressed that I am lucky to have a wife/SO that is so accepting and understanding----you are all right I am very lucky and I don’t always appreciate it for what it is, Love.

Gunforhire :happy:


I enjoy the sound of heels on a hardwood floor no matter if I am wearing them or she is.