I have a problem!!!!

[older not wiser]

Hi girls, I need some help here, my daughter has moved backed with her three children(bitter divorce). How do I handle this situation? For now(I hope) my dressing has to come to a halt for fear of her finding out and also for the children's sake. My daughters' thinking is very narrow when it comes to changing ones outward role(M2F X-Dressing), my wife has sorta' kinda' accepted it but doesn't want to really get involved. Where do I go from here?

BonnieAnne

[Joy Carter]

We all have to adjust things from time to time just have to get real for a while and wait.

0.02

[ashlee chiffon]

either stop her move, move out, don't dress, or get a motel room for a night and dress...don't run the risk of exposure with your daughter unless you're prepared to deal the consequences!
sorry...that's life...

[livy_m_b]

Since your wife only 'kinda' accepts and your daughter does not, and she has children, your only option seems to be to stop doing it at home in any way that's capable of being discovered by inquisitive children. That still leaves the possibility of meetings, support groups etc. One technique I've used from time to time when nothing else was possible was occasionally to reflect while talking to others "They don't realize they're really talking to a woman!" :) But if you are cd that probably won't work for you! Good luck!

:hugs:

Olivia

[bredalee25]

put a lock on the bedroom door and dress in there afterall it's your house and they've got to respect your privacy and not interfere with your life in any way. Just because your daughter couldn't save her marrage doesn't mean you've got to suffer as a result. If it causes this much discomfort then don't let her move back home. I know the wife wants her and the kids to come home. Which if I were in your shoes i'd probabally open up my arms and home to her as well and find ways of dressing too. In my case my gf doesn't know but i find time to dress and so can you. Just think possitive and you'll figure it out. ttfn

[BarbaraNY]

Rent a Storage Room, move all your stuff into it and then go there dress and do the town. It's a night out for you and no one is inconvenienced or put upon and you don't have to esplain anything.

[Faye Emmette]

Sorry to hear of the change in circumstances OBNW. I can only suggest you play it safe and take your joys when you can, as once seen, you can't be 'unseen'.
Cheers,
F.

[Anita Mae GG]

You have to put yourself last in this situation. It is not all about you not being able to crossdress. You have a daughter who is going through a VERY rough time and grandchildren that have to adjust to living with only their mom and not their dad too. This is about THEM right now. You need to put them first and deal with your crossdressing last if at all until they get through this tough time.

We all sacrifice in life and I think if you had to give it up altogether (temporarily) you'd be fine. Think of your daughter and her well being and that of the grandkids.

[carol ann]

I have to agree with the others - play it safe - that is put your dressing on hold at home. Relationships are the most important thing especially where family are concerned. You are lucky to have an accepting wife even if only to a limited degree

[Tina Dixon]

Well now, you could move and get your own place and pay visits again.

[kittypw GG]

You have to put yourself last in this situation. It is not all about you not being able to crossdress. You have a daughter who is going through a VERY rough time and grandchildren that have to adjust to living with only their mom and not their dad too. This is about THEM right now. You need to put them first and deal with your crossdressing last if at all until they get through this tough time.

We all sacrifice in life and I think if you had to give it up altogether (temporarily) you'd be fine. Think of your daughter and her well being and that of the grandkids.

I agree with Tammy,
You should be thinking about helping your daughter not yourself. She needs for you to really put her first and show her some compassion. She needs both of her parents right now. Giver her a peacful refuge so that she can contemplate her dilemma. Think of it as an oppertunity to really be a good father and excell as a grandpa. Who knows what could happen if you open your heart. Trust me she will not want to live with her parents indefinately. When the time seems right sit down and discuss some options. If she is comming from another community start by helping her find a new job. Build her self- esteem. Be her father that is what she needs. And a lot of love.
Good luck and I feel so sorry that she has to go through this.
Kitty

[older not wiser]

Hi girls, Thank you all very much for the input w/regard to my problem. The overall conclusion is to "put a hold" on my dressing, this is the only conclusion and my family does come first. I CAN DO THIS!!!! I may not want to or like to but I will. Isn't it a basic fact that GG's put themselves last w/regard to family?
Being that I really want to be a female I have to take that position.
Love ya" all!!!!!!!!

BonnieAnne :

[Sandra]

If it causes this much discomfort then don't let her move back home.


Well I just hope if you ever have any kids and things go pear shaped that it's not to much of a discomfort to you to have them come back home, talk about being selfish!!!

[kittypw GG]

Hi girls, Thank you all very much for the input w/regard to my problem. The overall conclusion is to "put a hold" on my dressing, this is the only conclusion and my family does come first. I CAN DO THIS!!!! I may not want to or like to but I will. Isn't it a basic fact that GG's put themselves last w/regard to family?
Being that I really want to be a female I have to take that position.
Love ya" all!!!!!!!!

BonnieAnne :
BonnieAnne,
Yes you can do this and you will be better for it. Your wife will know how much you sacrificed for your family and will fall deeper in love. Who knows maybe if you show her that you can and do put your family first, she will reward you with what you deeply want. Her participation in your crossdressing. Just a thought. Kitty

[kittypw GG]

put a lock on the bedroom door and dress in there afterall it's your house and they've got to respect your privacy and not interfere with your life in any way. Just because your daughter couldn't save her marrage doesn't mean you've got to suffer as a result. If it causes this much discomfort then don't let her move back home. I know the wife wants her and the kids to come home. Which if I were in your shoes i'd probabally open up my arms and home to her as well and find ways of dressing too. In my case my gf doesn't know but i find time to dress and so can you. Just think possitive and you'll figure it out. ttfn

Sorry Brendalee25 but what is your problem? Have you never expirenced love? Have you never been shown compassion? Have you always been a selfish princess? Sheesh
Kitty

[Kate Simmons]

My daughter and her husband just moved back with me. I had a talk with my daughter telling her my intentions as both her Dad and Ericka. They know I'm Ericka and we more or less agreed on some "ground rules". It is my home after all and I am just helping them until they can get their own place. I don't know what your situation is but communication is the key if possible. That's how I handle things and I'm open and up front. Ericka

[Rikkicn]

I would begin by setting an example by showing her and her kids what it's like living in a home that is loving and non judgement. This is something that we all need to learn.

Rikki

[Dixie Darling]

With summer upon us it's very likely that your daughter and her children won't be staying at home ALL the time. There will be recreational trips, shopping trips, and if she's wanting a place of her on probably house hunting trips. Since you say that your wife has "sorta kinda" accepted your dressing, she is aware that you have a need to some privacy now and then so you might want to consider having her arrange for some of the above mentioned to afford you this privacy.

One other thing to consider is how long does it appear that this living arrangement might last. Are your daughter and grand children going to be with you over a long haul, or does she want a place of her own? Short term should be easy to handle, but if it's a long term stay maybe it might be to your advantage to tell your daughter about your feminine side.

Dixie -- http://www.geocities.com/senorita_cd

[older not wiser]

Hi Dixie, This is going to be a very, very long term arrangement. The ex-son-in-law pays a very small amount of child support. He purposely works off the books and lives w/his parents. My daughter works full time and contributes into the household, 2 out of the 3 go to school full time and the youngest will start full time in Sept. I'm considering putting an addition onto the house and also selling and moving to NC.

[older not wiser]

Hi Ericka, Its to bad I can't do what you did!!!! I wish I could, like I said my daughter is very narrow minded when it comes to an alternative life style.

Hugs;
BonnieAnne

[Holly]

BonnieAnne,

First of all, bless you for your willingness to step up and help out your daughter and grandchildren this way. It's a very tangible expression of the love you have for them. Your daughter must be very grateful that she has a safe harbor during this stormy period in her life.

But since this appears to be a long term situation for all of you, I think it is important that you sit down with your daughter and share with her this part of your life that she may not be aware of. Putting your family first doesn't necessarily mean that you have to deny your own existance. Yes, you will have to make adjustments and accomodations. Yes, things will not be the same as before. These statements are true for both you AND your daughter.

The six of you living together is going to cause some new stresses in all of your lives. They don't go away just because you ignore them or pretend they don't exist. Please talk to your daughter, showing the same love and compassion you are showing her by bringing her and her children back into your home. And put some faith into the values that you and your wife taught to your daughter while she was growing up in your home. You may very well be quite surprised at how she reacts. :hugs:

[Deborah]

Let her know if she doesn't hurry up and find a place of her own that you're going to wear all her clothes. ;)