Some help please for a 1st time poster

[confussedinessex]

Hi all.

As my forum name might suggest, I am somewhat comfussed at the moment.

I have never before had any urge to dress in female things, even tho a girlfriend of some years past wanted me to ware her underware in bed.

However a few weks back we moved house, and in the process sorted out alot of clothes to go to the charity shop. I was to take these in on my next day off. Howver for what reason I dont know, I decided to see what the wife had thrown out, and in one bag I found a quantity of underware, most of it old stuff, but some which came from her 'special' drawer (silky, lacy etc).
Again I am confussed as to why but I ended up in stockings, suspender belt and silky undies, and felling so good, I ended up masterbating.

Since this time I have at every chance repeated this, and although I do get a great sexual satisfaction from it, I am guilty at dressing in her things, even tho she had decided to throw them out, and whilst we were shopping on Saturday, I was looking at underware for me to ware and not her.

perhaps you good people of more experiance in this than me could enlighten me with your thoughts.
:o

[Ellie]

I'm not sure why you are confused.

You tried on the clothes?... yes
You liked the feel?... yes
You had fun?... yes

So when you feel like it, do it again. When you don't feel like it, don't.

No big deal one way or the other, you are still the same person.

Enjoying cross dressing doesn't "mean" anything other then you like the look and/or feel of those clothes. Some cross dressers do so for the fun of being someone else (like me) and some because they feel the need to be seen as the female they feel like on the inside. Some enjoy it strictly when in a sexual situation, others enjoy it anytime they are not in guy mode though feel no need to be a woman just display their femme side.

Because different reasons lead to the same behavior, the behavior alone can not be used to directly indicate the reason.

[Jennaie]

It would help if you could expand on this a bit. How did you feel when wearing the panties, did you feel fem? Did you like feeling fem? did you fantasize about what it might be like to be female? or did you just like the way the panties felt on you and get turned on?

A little more information would help.

[Ellie]

....Since this time I have at every chance repeated this, and although I do get a great sexual satisfaction from it, I am guilty at dressing in her things, even tho she had decided to throw them out, and whilst we were shopping on Saturday, I was looking at underware for me to ware and not her....

As for your "guilt" about using her things I would say that they are fair game after being thrown out. Although I think that if your wife is open and adventurous you may be pleasantly surprised by telling her about your fun. Not only may you be able to get her Okay about using her tossed items but you and her could have all sorts of fun shopping for more. This has been the case with my GF. She and I go shopping and finds all sorts of great outfits for Ellie.

I think that above all you should be as open and honest with your wife as you would like her to be to you. My GF made it quite clear that she was much happier that I told her of my desire to dress rather then try to hide it from her. As it happened we are both able to enjoy the new adventure and she doesn't feel betrayed as she would if she were to have walked in on me wearing the panties that she threw out months before.

[Wenda]

I believe honesty is the best policy, because my memory is too poor to remember any lies I may have told, and covering up takes a lot of work, and I have become rather lazy in the last few years.
I am with Ellie, don't presume your SO is a victorian prude. When I rediscovered dressing about two years ago, I informed my SO right away, and she was quite nervous about it. I didn't push it, but was honest when she asked about it. In October that year, we went to Minot, ND for Hostfest, a huge Scandanavian festival, and some of Wenda went along. My GF found a new shopping buddy, and Wenda urged Jaya, a moderate dom, to emerge.
Yesterday she helped me return a skirt that was too large, encouraged me to keep wearing the bra she had given me earlier when we went to the store. There are lots of gurls on this forum who dress in secret, which I would have had to do with my ex, but there are, I think, more who have a very special multidimensional relationship with their SO. I would remind her of the items she discarded, and let her know that you found them 'interesting', and see what unfolds. Best wishes,

[LucyTwitch]

Hi

The need to repete your turn on is driving you.

Love
Lucy

[confussedinessex]

It would help if you could expand on this a bit. How did you feel when wearing the panties, did you feel fem? Did you like feeling fem? did you fantasize about what it might be like to be female? or did you just like the way the panties felt on you and get turned on?

A little more information would help.

I have no fantasy or desire to turn myself into a woman, not that I have any problems with other doing what they feel is right for them.

yes I felt myself thru the panties, and love the silky feel of them around my genitals.


many thnx to those who have replied, some vewry interesting food for thought.

Tell my wife......................................thats gonna take some doing