a question for the M2F's and GGs please...

[GG Vanya]

What IS femininity to you?

Just that question. I almost posted a few comments such as: is it..etc etc....but I'd rather leave it open and get YOUR responses with no prompting.

[Jenni]

Femininity really encompasses a lot of things to me, and is a state of mind and way of expression. To me, it is, among other things:

Innocense and softness
Curves instead of corners
A floral spectrum of colors and aromas
A voice of musical quality, a pleasure to the ear
Solving problems with reason, instead of violence
Cooperation instead of competition

jenni

[DawnLabelle]

for me, I can sum it up in one word: freedom.

freedom to wear what you want, portray yourself as you like, freedom to be strong and freedom to be weak, to be free to show emotions, to be free to like what you want without fear of reproach from peers, to be free to express myself sexually as I wish, etc etc

does that make sense to anyone?

Dawn

[Marla S]

Dawn is right: Freedom pretty much sums it up.
Masculinity has a very restricted repertoir. Each of the desirable attributes can be achieved by women too.

[Dawn D.]

Femininity to me can be broken into two groups, emotion and visibility.

Emotion includes but not limited to: sensitivity, being a bit coy, sensual, allowing open display of affection, softness & open concern for others.

Visibility again includes but not limited to: displaying softness, appropriate dress for the occasion (even wearing jeans and sweat shirts) & surprising those they care for with unexpected "treats" i.e., as simple as a cup of coffee!

Dawn

[Joy Carter]

A friend says that femininity encompasses a lot more than dressing but physical side of being a woman. She chooses pretty to what we are striving to be so I agree with her findings. So yes women are pretty to me no matter there facial or body type something I have always admired in them and want to emulate. I can agree with Jenni on most of what she says but not all women posses the qualities she mentioned this is the woman on a pedestal thing that much of us believe. So me being pretty and posses a female type of personality is what I want. :happy:

[bredalee25]

Well for me it's the feeling of just being pretty and wearing pretty colors and clothes. It's the feeling of freedom to be who i am and to not worry about carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders. For when in male mode it feels like i need to be strong and verile. When in female mode there's no need to feel strong just to feel pretty and watch all the macho guys struggle to keep the world afloat. I guess i'm old fashioned in my thinking for i believe that the man should take care of the woman and support her financially. The woman should take care of her man too. She should do all the things that our grandmothers and their mothers did for their men. Don't get me wrong i don't have a problem with a strong woman who can fend for herself and her children .

I just think that if we all did things as our formothers did we'd be in a better world. One where a CD could walk down the street and feel safe in doing so.

A girl can dream can't she. ttfn

[Faye Emmette]

Softness, comfort, relaxation, looking better.

[susandrea]

http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a340/susanxo/harlow.jpg

[Kimberley]

Vanya, What a loaded question but a great thread!

To me, it is about feeling. I dont feel like other men, I feel apart from them while being able to relate much better to women. I feel more emotional and in touch with my emotions. I suppose the list could go on and on but in the end (and I suspect this is what you were seeking) dressing for me is not about shock. It is a need, a need to be, or rather exist in harmony with that feminine side of myself. That is to say, all those characteristics that dont fit into the male reality but do fit into the female reality.

Now that said, yes I do identify TG/TS but that doesnt mean I am rushing out for transition. Just the opposite. I would much rather find myself in complete harmony with all aspects of my personality instead of trying to feel one way and express or present another. That doesnt mean I want to dress to the nine's everyday, or even regularly. It means that visibly (or not) I do enjoy some feminine clothing or jewelry etc. It means I enjoy a beauty treatment (even if it is at home).

Lastly, it does not change my sexual orientation but it does enhance my perspective of sexuality for both myself and my wife.

Femininity to me is a state of existence more than an expression.

I hope this helps you.

Kimberley.

[kathy gg]

What IS femininity to you?

Shoulders soft enough to cry on but strong enough to support love ones as well.

Being brave when I feel weak inside.

Being able to convey my love/lust/anger/excitement/ just looking into my eyes.

Knowing when to bite my tounge when I really just want to be a complete bitch.

Never feeling ashamed or guilty or weird about putting my heart on my sleeve.

Catching someone giving me a double take.

Amazing natural instint for colour coordination.

Knowing that I have knowledge and information about womanhood that I can pass on to my daughter.

Giving just right smile and being able to conjure tears to get out of a speeding ticket!

Knowing when/where/how/ to be totally selfless or completely selfish.

Using beauty for good.......not evil! Well at least 98% of the time:evil:

[Yes I am]

Femininity is strength, not in the brutal, masculine sense of physical force. But strength in areas where as a man I feel weak, such as strength of emotion, strength of friendships and caring and empathy. Femininity is the power of life, and creation. I take joy in expressing my femininity, without it I could not balance my masculinity nor could I adequately express the whole of my person.

[kittypw GG]

Femininity to me is in a small way restriction. I have always been judged by the size of my boobs. I have had more men talk to them then you could shake a stick at. Have you ever had a neighbor come over to borrow some spice only to stare at your boobs? Now mind you I don't even have dolly pardon boobs. I have been a C cup most of my life and now that I am a little older I have graduated to a D. I would like to be judged by my intellegence or my wit. Out side of being oogled by men, femininity to me is me. I don't know how to be anything but me and I'm definitly a female so there ya go.

[~Dee~]

wow .. if this isnt the most trapped question ive seen on this forum. :)

i dont know if i would describe it as any particular trait ..
i mean, its fantastic to be able to cry ... i didnt cry for something like 12 years .. just wasnt able .. now that ive started to transition, ive been able to.. and it feels good.

the softness in my skin .. again, very girly ... but not it.

femininity to me is an elusive goal .. its a yearning that hurts inside and before it was the fuel that fired up my self loathing.
but now, to me, its more of a state of being rather than any particular trait or skill. i know that my wife is very talented with many different abilities that just scream feminine... but to me, that just makes up the person.

what makes her feminine is the little light thats inside her that i can see when we are close. the thing that comforts her and makes her whole.

if that makes sense ..... ?

if the question was instead, what trait embodies femininity .. then that would be a whole lot easier to answer.
Empathy.
ladies are able to empathize with others and themselves.
generally guys .. just dont.

you go cry next to a lady .. shell put at least and hand on your shoulder and will be there for you .. this is if she doesnt just hug you.
you cry infront of a guy ... after a while when he notices hell say "something wrong?" ... well of course theres something wrong .. duh.
so to me, thats the defining trait.

[KewTnCurvy GG]

What IS femininity to you?

Shoulders soft enough to cry on but strong enough to support love ones as well.

Being brave when I feel weak inside.

Being able to convey my love/lust/anger/excitement/ just looking into my eyes.

Knowing when to bite my tounge when I really just want to be a complete bitch.

Never feeling ashamed or guilty or weird about putting my heart on my sleeve.

Catching someone giving me a double take.

Amazing natural instint for colour coordination.

Knowing that I have knowledge and information about womanhood that I can pass on to my daughter.

Giving just right smile and being able to conjure tears to get out of a speeding ticket!

Knowing when/where/how/ to be totally selfless or completely selfish.

Using beauty for good.......not evil! Well at least 98% of the time:evil:
What she said!

[OniKoneko]

Kathy does sum it up quite nicely... ._.

Jeez, good thing I already took a shower, otherwise I might end up crying in it again about how I wish I could have kids. That was certainly a weird-feeling day. Especially when I told my girlfriend and friend and we were all like, "Yeah, I don't really want kids, anyway." I mean, I do but I don't, see? And if I were to have kids, I would want to have them. I've got a bit of a "mommy" streak there... I've got a lot of streaks, actually. Dominant, submissive, motherly... Just to name a few. :P

Anyway, femininity to me is something inexpressable in words. It is me. I mean, how can I compress myself into words and pop it on the internet? We can't even stab people over the internet (however much we may want to), so I think transferring matter (especially the living kind!) is out of the question. :P

I think everyone has their own unique blend of femininity. Mine is a kind of clumsy grace... Socially akward, but universally caring. My girlfriend tells me I care too much about people I don't even know. Heh. I like dance, but not standard ballet or that kind of stuff. I don't understand modern dancing too terribly much, unless it's the kind that is basically thrusting into people wildly. Breakdance and fighting are my kinds of dance. I want to learn to breakdance one day, but fighting is my only available kind of dance right now, and I don't fight much. Kinda funny because I'm a pacifist. I'll only fight if I'm attacked or something. Anyway, yes I did just say fighting is a kind of dance. In fact, I think fighting is the ultimate art form. Not like, "One on one deathmatch!" kind of fighting... Like, sparring. Training. You know? When it is you, a friend, and nothing else. Either of you could probably kill the other, but you don't want to. The goal is not to harm, but to help. Increase skill, balance, dexterity, agility, strength... The list goes on. Build trust, mercy, compassion, and so on... I'm the kind of girl who would watch martial arts masters spar and say, "Wow, that's so awesome..." Sometimes it just flows along like water...

I'm the kind of girl who likes fire, sharp things, and fluffy things. Fuzzy things are good too. Soft is always awesome. Anyway, before I go off into a list of favorable adjectives (there are a lot)... I like knives and swords... Blades, really. I don't really like them because they can cut and slice and dice and hack people into neat cubes... I like them because the really good ones are often very pretty and shiny (I like shiny :D) and the smith that made them did so by hand with love and soul. You can't compare a masterly hand-smithed dagger to one of the mass-manufactured pieces of crap there are out there today. I mean, yeah... Some of the manufactured stuff is really pretty, too... But those are the kinds of things you need to put your own value into to make them worth more than their cost in money. Sure, you should do that with all of them, but handmade weaponry means something just by being handmade.

I like puppies, kitties, and... well... animals of any sort, really. I'm trying to make peace with insects, but I do squish quite a lot of them. I would like to say it's not my fault, really, because they scared me, but I didn't have to squish them... *sigh* I feel bad whenever I squish things... And then I shudder and get paranoid that there are more around. D: I'm really weird like that.

There's so much more, really, but I don't want to write an entire book. I'd be here typing this post for days, then. :P

[Cheery GG]

for me, I can sum it up in one word: freedom.

freedom to wear what you want, portray yourself as you like, freedom to be strong and freedom to be weak, to be free to show emotions, to be free to like what you want without fear of reproach from peers, to be free to express myself sexually as I wish, etc etc

does that make sense to anyone?

Dawn

You dont have to be a woman to have freedom.....or am i missing the point ?????

cheery
xx

[Cheery GG]

I have a poem that would sum this up i think ,i wil try and find it asap and post it for you all....

cheery
xx

[ronda]

Kathy GG said it all it is wonderful to feel and or be a woman:happy:

[ReginaK]

What is femininity to me?

Warm bubble baths and lotion. Soft skin. A beautiful voice. A warm hug.

[Kate Simmons]

Being myself and not having to be ashamed of it. Ericka

[TGMarla]

Good question. When you think about it, one of the good things about what we do is a celebration of the feminine. I like that. Femininity is not some foreign object to many of us here, as it is with many men. It is a part of us that feels good to not repress. For me it is that part of me that is nurturing, that appreciates softness, that allows for vulnerability without necessarily showing weakness. It is peace of mind and a smile. It is an appreciation for color and soft aromas and lace. It is the strength of a willow instead of an oak. It is love of beauty over brawn. It is diplomacy over force of arms. It is the part of me that helps to complete me.

[Bev06 GG]

Good question Vanya,

To me femininity is all about
Companionship
Regaining harmony in relationships when you fall out
An intimate knowledge of Best friends
Listening
Long and deep conversations
Close personal friendships
Support and encouragement to others
Communication
Empathy
Flirting
Affection
Nurturing
Caring
Negotiation and constructive solutions to problems.
Looking the best I can do
Being there.

Does that all sound really corny. Well never mind
BEVxxxx

[kittypw GG]

Good question. When you think about it, one of the good things about what we do is a celebration of the feminine. I like that. Femininity is not some foreign object to many of us here, as it is with many men. It is a part of us that feels good to not repress. For me it is that part of me that is nurturing, that appreciates softness, that allows for vulnerability without necessarily showing weakness. It is peace of mind and a smile. It is an appreciation for color and soft aromas and lace. It is the strength of a willow instead of an oak. It is love of beauty over brawn. It is diplomacy over force of arms. It is the part of me that helps to complete me.
This is beautiful Marla. :)

[KarenNY]

Good question. When you think about it, one of the good things about what we do is a celebration of the feminine. I like that. Femininity is not some foreign object to many of us here, as it is with many men. It is a part of us that feels good to not repress. For me it is that part of me that is nurturing, that appreciates softness, that allows for vulnerability without necessarily showing weakness. It is peace of mind and a smile. It is an appreciation for color and soft aromas and lace. It is the strength of a willow instead of an oak. It is love of beauty over brawn. It is diplomacy over force of arms. It is the part of me that helps to complete me.

What she said!!!

:D

[alysonatl]

To me femininity is softness, both in what I wear and how I view life. Being feminine means having a softer view of myself and the world around me. I am not a part of the male rat race to succeed at all costs and prove myself to be better than the next guy. Being feminine is to appreciatie beauty, both in myself and others. Being feminine is the opportunity to present myself in an eye-pleasing way in colorful garments, flattering makeup and alluring perfume. It's about making men want you and women want to be you.

[DawnLabelle]

You dont have to be a woman to have freedom.....or am i missing the point ?????

cheery
xx

No, of course you dont have to be female to be free, I'm referring more to the little personal freedoms that women have as compared to men in our western society.

To expand on what I said earlier. If women are strong they are encouraged and applauded, and if they need to be weak they are taken care of and not looked down upon, if a man is weak he is simply weak and will receive ridicule from peers. It's ok for a woman to want to be manly, or feminine, or to be bisexual and "different", yet a man is supposed to fit a very specific guideline of sexuality and manliness. A woman can be a powerful career oriented breadwinner, or a housewife taking care of her family, a man doesn't really have that option as a househusband is looked down upon and ridiculed. And of couse if a woman wants to wear guys shoes and clothing no one bats an eye, but if I show up in sensible heels and a skirt .... well .... no more job for me ;).

I'm sure this speaks more on my own personal psychological makeup but hey, its an opinionated question :). I'm also sure that some will think that I simply find that life would be easier as a woman, and yes that is true to a certain extent, but isn't the grass always greener on the other side?

Dawn