fear behind dressing?

[michelle19845]

do any of you ever get a fear that you will end up being caught by someone you don't want to know about your dressing/femme side? as i get more into and accepting of my dressing i begin to ask more questions to myself such as : "am i tg,born with female brain?"i don't find myself too much toward a TS,but i hesitate where this road will take me?how it will go with my career route and what will happen as far as relationships in the future.any one been or are on this path? any advice is appreciated.i know alot of you have been dressing for years and years and know hat i'm getting at.any thoughts please let me know.i fear that if my family were to know and spread to others that it would be tramatic.just by hearing my parents talk about my lesbian friend from a campground we often visit ,they seem very unaccepting and nonunderstanding about glbt people.they definitely have no respect even though they don't know any personally,nor know feelings of one.the best thing i can do now is keep it discrete and try to get away from here to where i can be not so darn secretive.as usual,thank you all for your help and support,it's greatly appreciated.


michelle19845

[Jennaie]

Michelle:

We all have fears, some are founded and some are not. What really matters is that you learn about yourself. Learning about yourself makes you a better person. It does not matter what it is your learning about yourself, what matters is that you have a deeper understanding of who you are and with that you become more comfortable and more confident.

Be careful to guard yourself at all times. Your worth it. :happy:

[michelle19845]

if it ever comes to someone finding out i should have the confidence and self esteem to say "if you can't deal with it ,tough,cause that's who i am".i shouldn't worry about it i should just stand up for myself if something happens and say "yep,i do dress or yep, it is my stuff".my dressing is who i am ! i appreciate your input,jennaie.thank you.

[Joy Carter]

Fear ! Know the meaning well was outed eighteen months ago had to retire early due to harassment on the job. Lost personal friends due to it, when I try to talk about it with the SO tells me "Didn't you learn your lesson !" God I'm an adult and she treats me like a child, will not talk about it only the what ifs.

[Deborah]

Only when i was living at home with my parents. I didn't want them to walk into the house while i had my sister's clothes on so i was paranoid.
I'm not worried about it now of course. :D

[jo_ann]

i don't know if it's so much fear (I'm sure if I was ridiculed I could walk away without words, and if it got physical I could hold my own), but it's more "I don't want to deal with stares and dirty looks".. same reason I wouldn't wear a tshirt that said "blow me" or something.. I really don't crave the attention. I'm fairly happy just occasionally dressing up around the house.

[Karren H]

I think there is always fear that someone we don't want to know will find out and it will spread to others or it will be used against us or our familys!! It just goes with the territory I guess so you either have to live with it or it it's too much or a burden, stop what your doing. Either way you will have to endure some type of stress. Choose wisely, grasshopper!!! hehehe

Love Karren

[Rikkicn]

I certainly feared that my ex would find out about my cding. In time and self education and online support I finally told her. She was Ok with to a point but I wasn't Ok with her less than full acceptance or willingness to try and understand. Our sex life was terrible and I want more from a partner so I asked her for a divorce 7 years ago.
At that time I cded often but was finding myself interested in more.
Now I'm full time and have a partner that loves and prefers me en femme and our sex life is beyond my wildest dreams.

Love,
Rikki

[Kimberley]

Fear Guilt and Shame.... the terrible trio. Michelle, you need to fight those with everything you have. Those are the real enemies.

I wouldnt be too concerned about labelling yourself either. Just accept what you are .... you! If you were TS you would have known long ago so I would put that one away too.

The one thing that any of us "old birds" can tell you is that you arent crazy, this is normal (although only in a small percentage of the population) and the rest dont understand us, nor do they want to except for a very very few.

Keep asking questions and if you want direct answers get to know us older ones and PM us.

Hugs
Kimberley

[michelle19845]

i appreciate all the advice you sisters have to offer.it means a lot.

[rachellenicole]

As some of the others have said, there can be serious repercussions if and when you are outed. Many of us would probably loose some close friends and possibly their jobs. There are certain people that I do not want to find out about Rachelle, that being said, I do not give a rats... about what the general public says. I realize that I risk being outed by a friend who, by chance might see me while dressed in public. Thats the fine line some of us choose to walk.

Rachelle